I was thinking, with my equanimity fixation (I subconsciously believed it was the goal, actually I still do, because it builds up naturally with the path), I more or less stopped cycling (this retreat was so precious for that very reason), and dwelled in a space free of suffering... at the cost of that tiny distance to experience, which is peace, denial, a bumper that dulls the intensity of vibrations, well, suffering really...
Stoner:I was thinking of the dho as a single organism, we are all bits and pieces of it. It has its quiet moment, and then it cycles.
"Say not ye, There are yet four months, and then cometh harvest? behold, I say unto you, Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are white already to harvest." John 4:35
What will become of us, poor satvic buddies closing the samsara joint?
Oh ye satvic amigo of little faith. Do you doubt my plan? I will obviously burn in hell as a Catholic heretic for my associations with this dharma crowd here, and will obviously spend every cycle of existence in hell because of my theistic evangelism. I've got all my bases covered, my friend. I am simply counting on you to save my ass, in the end. I'll be at the Bar of Last Resort, as previously indicated. Drop in any time, vowmeister.
"Sometimes there will be a storm of worries and concerns and feeling like everything is a catastrophe. Don't worry. That's your friend reobservation. Now is a perfect time to say "oh, look at this mind worry and freak out. I'm going to study how a mind freaks out."