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Angel C's Practice Log
Answer
3/26/20 4:15 PM
Hello all, I practice only concentration. At least for now. I have a big tendency to learn more than I can put into practice, so to put an end to that I don't really know a thing about mindfulness, I'm taking things easy.

Today's practice

I notice the same pattern, again and again, I peak on my concentration around the 10-minute mark, I maintain it for some time until some thought or some big sound outside makes me follow it. Then I lose my concentration a little, I come back, then I lose a little more...until I fall into I guess it's sopor. My mind gets non-sensical, constructing weird stories, just as when you are about to fall asleep. Then the timer bell sounds and I go on about my day. I practice every day for 30 minutes, and I've been practicing for two weeks, maybe a little less.

I'm pretty happy about today's practice, as I reached a state of concentration new to me, my mind was pretty clear for what I perceived as a long time, I felt very peaceful. Something I noticed, that I guess I have to get past it, is a "build-up" to "something" that I resisted. It's difficult to describe...I felt like I was about to get even more concentrated, but that would mean to lose some control over myself somehow, so I resisted it. Any idea about this?
Thank you all, may you have a nice day.

RE: Angel C's Practice Log
Answer
3/27/20 10:35 AM as a reply to Angel C.
The same thing happened today. I achieved a very strong presence with my breath for what I perceived as a long time, then thoughts about the day and the duties ahead completely disturbed it and I fell into "sleepy" thoughts.

RE: Angel C's Practice Log
Answer
3/30/20 12:00 PM as a reply to Angel C.
It's getting worse. Today I was all over the place. I guess it's normal to have better and worse periods of practice. It's frustating because I feel I was so close to the 1st jhana, I even had something that I only can account for as piti, which lasted for a couple of hours after the meditation was over. I was super-excited, and now I can't concentrate at all. Maybe this is part of the problem, the excitement of progress and the frustation of not getting more and not getting it now. As anything, I hope I learn how to remain relaxed and a little less atached as time goes on.

Any tip on how to solve this particular problem of frustation would be appreciated.
Good practice to you all.