Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos - Discussion
Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 3:30 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/5/20 9:37 AM
Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsIm following Kenneth Folk's teaching and using the Freestyle Noting Aloud. I have got some fine results with it last year so see no reason to change the method for now.
As Im jobless now and looking after our little 4 yo boy I will need to organize practice in the early morning or/and late evening. Weekend is easier as my partner can look after our son during my practice time.
May this practice be of benefit to countless beings.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/5/20 10:36 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/5/20 10:36 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsNow that I look at it, it seems so uncool to sit on a chair and speak aloud while having open eyes


Such a fantastic practice this is. Glad I restarted it as I haven't been practicing it since July last year.
By the way that Champagne bottle on the floor is empty and used for the New Years Eve

https://youtu.be/9FeajWRJcXA
Brandon Dayton, modified 3 Years ago at 4/5/20 10:59 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/5/20 10:59 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 511 Join Date: 9/24/19 Recent PostsI was actually trying this this morning and I found that I would lose the mindfulness of sensations as my attention was taken up by the vocalizations. Have you ever run into this? I'm used to noting in my mind, where it goes very quickly. Maybe I need to slow down when making the switch to noting out loud.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/5/20 12:27 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/5/20 12:26 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsOne object is being Noted Aloud and several more could be simply noticed at the very same time. All depends on the Stage ones mind is in.
Yes at times there is a remembering/planning thinking process going on parallel with let's say "seeing" and one can get slightly under the radar depending on the stage mind is in at that time.
What I do is keep eyes usually focused on one spot. This can change and move to another spot (dirt on the floor, or else). I find this helps with adding some concentration to the soup.
I do keep the body legs and arms in same position and NEVER do I scratch an ITCH

At times there can be a question "Am I sure that I'm noting matter of fact ???" Then I look and listen and re-engage into Noting Aloud matter of fact.
All sorts of sensation and mind states arise


Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/6/20 4:11 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/6/20 4:11 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsThen there is annoyance with the fact that attention has gone elsewhere. It's unpleasant/frustrating. This is only if we insist to solidify on any particular object.
I find it easier to just Note whatever is flowing , popping up in this-ness. Not as right or wrong. All I do is keep awake in the present matter of fact , accepting manner.
Hope this clarifies a bit.
Brandon Dayton, modified 3 Years ago at 4/6/20 3:40 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/6/20 3:40 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 511 Join Date: 9/24/19 Recent PostsChris M, modified 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 6:51 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 6:51 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 4825 Join Date: 1/26/13 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 9:13 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 9:13 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsThis changed last year. As it was not Shamatha that got me out of DN but Noting Aloud did.
Yes it can be boring BUT ONLY if you are NOT Mindfull sir ;) If you are on top of it tap tap tap tap that very Boredom will pass away very fast just to be exchanged with a sound of a bird chirping outside or the high pitch frequency in your ears or the itch or swallowing or ...
Chris M, modified 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 9:16 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 9:16 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 4825 Join Date: 1/26/13 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 9:20 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 9:20 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsChris M, modified 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 9:21 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 9:21 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 4825 Join Date: 1/26/13 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 10:00 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 10:00 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsAh I see dear sir. In that case I shall bow to you Mr. Arahant. (Do you now get freebies wherever you go? )
smiley alert!!!
whooooooo

T, modified 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 7:38 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 7:38 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 279 Join Date: 1/15/19 Recent PostsIs that correct?
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 9:07 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 9:07 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsNoting is a tool to keep one engaged without loosing the stream of consciousness, without getting lost in any objects for even a short moment.
Anything that is predominant in this moment is normally being noted/labeled.
An itch arises and of course the attention immediately goes to it. Suddenly attention moves to the chirping of a bird outside. Image impression of it. Then there is urge to come back to the itch to observe it (urge/intention as mind state with a certain feel) etc ...
Then there is wondering what else there is to be noted as Interest, as Curiosity (mind states). Could be whatever really, warmth in the hands or wetness in the mouth.
So it's not important to stay with any object for too long as it's important to Notice the interplay with all the mind states and sensations.
No time for contemplating too much during the practice. That is labeled as Thinking and noting moves on.
Please do note that all this stuff depends on the Stage ones mind is in (3C's, AP, EQ whatever).
Noting will speed up, slow down, get wide, sharp, dissolving, ...
There is no time here for self-validation to take place if one is really on top of it. As Ingram said 1-10 sensation per second.
As I Label one aloud I also Notice other arisings too without labeling them.
So there is lots of Noting but much more Noticing also.
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö, modified 3 Years ago at 4/14/20 4:46 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/14/20 4:46 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 7102 Join Date: 12/8/18 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/14/20 5:08 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/14/20 5:08 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsIt might work well for anyone really. It's observing thisness without being torn up by hindrances.
Sure thing, Satipatthana in all positions and situations. Love this sport

Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö, modified 3 Years ago at 4/14/20 5:17 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/14/20 5:17 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 7102 Join Date: 12/8/18 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/14/20 5:47 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/14/20 5:47 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsShamatha was fine during initial stages and was Super Cool during A&P but in DN it failed utterly. I simply did not know what was my head and what the tail.
This Noting stuff is just hammering each and every moment no falling pray to hidrances bleeding in.
I find it being so apt at following the stream of consciousness without laps throughout the sit.
I find this aspect being the most important of all.
But that's just me.
yves tumor, modified 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 10:30 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 10:29 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Post: 1 Join Date: 4/16/20 Recent PostsShamatha was fine during initial stages and was Super Cool during A&P but in DN it failed utterly. I simply did not know what was my head and what the tail.
This Noting stuff is just hammering each and every moment no falling pray to hidrances bleeding in.
I find it being so apt at following the stream of consciousness without laps throughout the sit.
I find this aspect being the most important of all.
But that's just me.
Hello, your story looks similiar to mine.Can you please give more information how samatha led to DN, what did you experenice during DN and how noting method saved your practice ?
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 10:47 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 10:47 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsHello, your story looks similiar to mine.Can you please give more information how samatha led to DN, what did you experenice during DN and how noting method saved your practice ?
bon jour, messieur tumor! Welcome to the Dharma Overground (DhO, in local shorthand, though by the DN it appears your have a certain fluency already in the dialect of the tribe).
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 2:32 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 2:27 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsI pracitced Shamatha as Calm-abiding, calming the body with each in and outbreath, whole body breathing rather than only focus on one spot. At that time I knew NOTHING about the 16 stages of insight.
My practice started as usually they start; not that easy to sit, lots of pain, lots of stiffness, lots or body jerks until one day (6 months into the practice) "my" Mind literally fell off far far into the background still rumbling and mumbling but very far away, and what was Here in this moment was clear open awareness in the body with its sensations. After that meditaion wnt on fire. I thought this thing is the best thing in the world and EVERYONE should do it!

This period of easy and long daily meditations went on for a quiet a bit and I felt like a Mighty meditator.
Then one lovely day all went to shit (excuse my french) and I totally lost my Ultra Concentration, my breath was gone and I started to PANIC! I tried everything but failed utterly and I was this Not-so-mighty meditator any longer and I had NO CLUE what was going on and no one could tell me anything about it.
So I continued to practice Shamatha anyway and could find the breath at times but there was so much negativity in me I just could not understand what happened with all that joyful bliss I had before. And I was so good at this joyful bliss

Then one internet friend who practiced Zen told me about DhO and Ingrams book MCTB. It was the first edition in 2011. Read through it and found where I was but I simply could not get used to that dry uncool noting vipassana so I resumed Shamatha and this led to an eraly EQ I assume because I REALLY LIKED IT and wanted to keep it, to stay in that state as it was sooo lovely compared to DN crap.
This of course led right back to RE-observation with vengance and I rolled up the mat never to return to meditation again ... this was in 2012 october I think.
... lots of bleedthrough during several years of no practice ... many people hurt ... me hurt ... lost ... more lost ...
start of last year got sick and tired of it all and realised there is no way back to life as I knew it before the meditation and the ONLY WAY is going back to practice, forward! After watching Kenneth Folks freestyle noting videos I decided I try that as noting is also what Ingram describes but I felt really like shit and needed somthing that is very efficient in cutting down those hindrances very fast. Noting Aloud as suggested by Kenneth Folk did exactly that and more. EDIT; I forgot to mention that Kenneth was kind enough to work with me over skype for 5-6 months, providing guidance.
During my old Shamatha there would always be periods of some daydreaming, even if about the practice it self but the mindfulness continuity was not as constant as in Noting Aloud. I am a very visual and audible personality (art painter and musician) so for me having eyes open and hearing my voice constanly which was also conected with the actual object observed was really a game changer.
Now I can say ; I did really sit for 45 minutes and practiced. During shamatha days I could sit for longer periods but not sure I was always awake. I would be rather in some joy/bliss chiling out or some narrative about the practice itselfbut also mindful of course.
Thats about it. I hope I gave you the answer you hoped for.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 2:53 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 2:53 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsTim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 4:07 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 4:06 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsThen one lovely day all went to shit (excuse my french) and I totally lost my Ultra Concentration, my breath was gone and I started to PANIC! I tried everything but failed utterly and I was this Not-so-mighty meditator any longer and I had NO CLUE what was going on and no one could tell me anything about it.
So I continued to practice Shamatha anyway and could find the breath at times but there was so much negativity in me I just could not understand what happened with all that joyful bliss I had before. And I was so good at this joyful bliss

Then one internet friend who practiced Zen told me about DhO and Ingrams book MCTB. It was the first edition in 2011. Read through it and found where I was but I simply could not get used to that dry uncool noting vipassana so I resumed Shamatha and this led to an eraly EQ I assume because I REALLY LIKED IT and wanted to keep it, to stay in that state as it was sooo lovely compared to DN crap.
This of course led right back to RE-observation with vengance and I rolled up the mat never to return to meditation again ... this was in 2012 october I think.
... lots of bleedthrough during several years of no practice ... many people hurt ... me hurt ... lost ... more lost ...
start of last year got sick and tired of it all and realised there is no way back to life as I knew it before the meditation and the ONLY WAY is going back to practice, forward! After watching Kenneth Folks freestyle noting videos I decided I try that as noting is also what Ingram describes but I felt really like shit and needed somthing that is very efficient in cutting down those hindrances very fast. Noting Aloud as suggested by Kenneth Folk did exactly that and more. EDIT; I forgot to mention that Kenneth was kind enough to work with me over skype for 5-6 months, providing guidance.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 4:21 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 4:20 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Posts
... it seems a bit like another life. Like a memory. There is compassion for all those going through such experience. There is wish to be of service to those who walk this path. There is gratefulness to those who teach this Dhamma.
... and one word keeps popping up constantly so I will not exclude it; ACCEPTANCE.
I'm sincere.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 4:41 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 4:41 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Posts
... it seems a bit like another life. Like a memory. There is compassion for all those going through such experience. There is wish to be of service to those who walk this path. There is gratefulness to those who teach this Dhamma.
... and one word keeps popping up constantly so I will not exclude it; ACCEPTANCE.
I'm sincere.
Chris said, answering his own question on what meditative practice allows us to bring to this world wide crisis: patience, and acceptance. Are there really two of you?
Thanks, Papa-ji.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/6/20 12:34 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/6/20 11:41 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsI will not talk much about practice unless I feel some clear shifts taking place. So far there is mucho itching, numbness in the bum, high frequency in the ears, stiffness in the neck, sense of the watcher behind the eyes, irritation with the repetitive mind states and sensations, gladness when itch arises as its a very clear object to pay attention to and there is clear change from sharp itch to throbing/bubbly itch sensation that is wider.
Will post each day when I sit for the minimum of 45mins.
Off to make some dinner now!
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 1:16 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/7/20 1:16 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/8/20 8:14 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/8/20 8:14 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsBack to practice.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/8/20 3:42 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/8/20 3:42 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsMigraine-like headache and neck stifness and throat sorness and lower back pain remain all day. Got to realise, during the sit, that ALL these are on the LEFT side! Even the high pitch frequency was stronger on the left side.
Went for a 3km jogging after the sit (last time I did that was ... a few years ago

Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/9/20 9:34 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/9/20 9:31 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsI managed to make a short video after the sit so to capture the dynamics. One can certainly hear/see difference in energy/dynamics between the 2 vids I posted.
I will try and do these short vids every so often, so we can kind of observe how things change with time depending on which stage one's mind is in. Some folks might find this useful, or not. BTW, did some commenting in the vid which I dont really do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbdJDQCw3aQ&feature=youtu.be
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/10/20 8:07 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/10/20 8:06 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsNot much body nastiness this time. Lots of visual stuff. Eyes open and the room turned into a darker image and very much 2D as it was a drawing on a paper. Center was clear but the periphery was blurred. The whole session had a Jhanic feel, very concentrated, fast, calm, the noting voice was very rhythmic tap tap tap tap and at some point became whispering.
The spot where I rested the eys wanished a few times.
Subtle vibrations in feet and hands. Preassure in the right head side. The whole sit had a bit of a sadness to it. Dunno; could be review of dissolution or some mixed up stuff in the 3C'. Matters not.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/11/20 7:15 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/11/20 7:13 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Posts@Steph S 's avatar popped up in the image space a few times and it felt pleasant


First half of session was calm, slow but deep noting and soaking into the object, then last half went into a more confused jerky, not-behaving attention or urge to be mindful of somthing fully, yet something else would pop up in the meantime and there would be this "hit and miss" feeling which was rather unpleasant. Sense of someone trying to do it and failing utterly.
2nd half was covered in scenarios and images about some stuff from past or this forum. Also some annoyance with the repetitive patterns to be observed (comparison from previous sits and even the sits from last year as Im using the same location).
Some neck stiffness, sore throatness, preassure on the left side of the head, bubbling vibrations in hands and arms itch here and there. 2 body jerks (arms and neck).
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/12/20 8:23 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/12/20 8:23 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsLots of itching. Stiffness and pressures mostly on the right side of body.
I have been playing with Intention for a long while and found it to be curious and fun.
I would Intend to pay attention to only one object. To keep the attention on seeing the spot of dirt I was looking at without loosing it or curious to see how long it takes for attention to shift to something else. I've made a short vid afterwards just to demonstrate it. It's a fun insight into how intention is also subject to change and that one is no control of where attention will flow.
Here is the vid for those interested;
https://youtu.be/NGk5bNAanWE
Chris M, modified 3 Years ago at 4/12/20 8:31 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/12/20 8:31 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 4825 Join Date: 1/26/13 Recent PostsKeep it up! Post all the smileys you want.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/12/20 8:46 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/12/20 8:46 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/20/20 10:51 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/20/20 10:49 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsVery strong high ear frequency throughout (on the verge of being unpleasant). Itching on several spots at once, changing, vanishing. Hands vibrating pleasant. pain in lower back (also vanishing in a pulsating way). body jerks not often, one every so often. preassure on the right side of head. posture slouching. a few sharp pains in muscles, leg and arm. some jerkiness between intention to note fast or slow and the attention on its own moving from one object to the next. Letting into what felt most natural (went with fast noting no matter the details off each sensation/mental state). Hands touching did have LOTS of vibratory details, pins and needless and pulsating, this was very pleasant.
This sit was a bit more chalenging sit as the restlessness creeped in from the musslcles it seems and there was an image impression of the timer (which is out of sight). Hindrance passed fast though with the noting. Acceptance was applied.
J W, modified 3 Years ago at 4/20/20 11:06 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/20/20 11:06 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 624 Join Date: 2/11/20 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/20/20 1:04 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/20/20 1:04 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Posts
They suck all right


Honestly I try not to ponder anymore what is happening for what reason. It's happening, so far I know, and I'm not moving away from the point of Thisness. At least while I practice. Off cushion I do allow attention to freely soar the vast sky of awareness like a white beautiful pidgeon ready to drop a large poo on top of the one admiring it!

J W, modified 3 Years ago at 4/20/20 3:28 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/20/20 3:28 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 624 Join Date: 2/11/20 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/20/20 3:40 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/20/20 3:40 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/20/20 3:54 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/20/20 3:54 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Posts... sits down ... brings mindfulness to the fore ... noticing ... seeing ... hearing ... tasting ... smelling ... sensing ... cognising ... feeling ...
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/21/20 11:36 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/21/20 11:34 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsAbsorption was VERY strong. Strongest so far. In the visuals the whole room (eyes open as always) turned very dark and the perifery was not clear, almost totally black or very dark grey but the center of the room where I was staring at was clearer but also dark (color vanished utterly). The spot (no larger than 2cm) where I stared at was vanishing and re-appearing. The ear frequency was very VERY high pitch and loud but not unpleasant.
Actually nothing was really unpleasant, maybe a bit numb hardness where ars bones meet the cair but thats all.
The speed of the noting voice really fired up. I tried to calm it down a bit but it felt forced so I let it go and indeed there was more clarity when it was noting fast then when I would force it to slow down so I let it loose.
Words were more of a mumbling and many of the notings could not even be vocalised as the speed of noticing was faster than the mouth could say it. This is fine.
Throughout the absorption there was constant awareness of everything around and inside Lots of vibrations in the hands, arms, and lots of vibrations in the head, throat and arms and chest from vocalising. Awareness of the sitting posture was always there.
This was indeed a very fine balance between absorption and vipassana ... awakeness dare I say.
Im not mapping this as Dissolution as in dissolution the center is not there Sure this tiny spot was vanishing but the periphery of the vision (the whole room that can be seen) was dark and unclear. Also here the speed was very fast and not chilled but rather on fire and very hot spots here and there could be felt. Concentration was very strong which was not the feel in Dissolution.
I say its 3C , likely the end of it as the pains are not really there. Will see how the body feels later and tomorrow after I wake up.
Here is a short video I captured immediatelly after the 45 minute sit so to get that feel on tape. I also commented a bit at the end.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgVW9PS9zlA
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/21/20 2:45 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/21/20 2:45 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/22/20 11:18 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/22/20 11:17 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsThen I went to do my daily 45 minutes session.
Lots of body jerks, high pitch in the ears, pain in the right side of the back (middle of the back, ribs). Stiff neck, lots of thinking about the situation with my son. Saddness (sense of tearing around the eys), worry, forgivness, worry, self-pitty.
Some absorption via the visuals, room turning dark (loosing color) and the spot I stare at vanishing a few times. For the first time I noticed Purple mist surrounding the spot I stare at (spot is just a dirt on the beehive thats standing infront of me). This mist was dynamic/moving and it would vanish.
Right now after the sit there is an unpleasant preassure in the solar plexsus, stiff neck, high pitch in ears, sadness-tearing around the eyes, worry, snese of failure/self-pitty.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/23/20 4:45 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/23/20 4:45 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsTomorrow might be the first day without sitting since I've re-started the practice. Family schtuff in da way.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/25/20 7:09 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/25/20 7:07 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsNOTE; did not practice yesterday but something interesting happened in the sleep. Seems like I was mindful of a dream, seeing the dream images as separate frames, cut up and each frame would freeze for a short moment and then the next frame would move in and freeze and so on. It certainly felt like practice! This I never experienced before.
Onto today's practice;
Started with noting, very layed back, relaxed, calm. Freestye Noting Aloud kind of took a different route this time and started focusing on the Seeing Space (eye space) and there was this clear comprehanding of the space between the Noticer/Knower of this experience and the Objects and from this came about self-enquiery "where is this Noticer" The arising objects seemed either just up front or just behind or bellow or to the side but the Noticer was clearly not there as it was the Noticer Noting all the objects.
It was not in the ears either, nor in the tactile sensations, nor in the soreness in the throat, nor in the itch ... I was tracking that distance between the Object and Noticer this distance and spacial position would always lead back to the eyes and not even behind it but at the very contact with the eye. All behind would be but the Image feel.
This reminded me of what Kenneth Folk calls The 3 Speed Transmission;
1. Gear - Noting
2. Gear - Who Am I (or in my case where is this I or Noticer)
3. Gear - Just Surrender
I know the 1st gear well but never really felt that 2nd Gear as clear as today. This is new and Im now ore interested in the 3 Speed Transmission that KF talks about. There could be something there in his triangulating between Mahasi-Zen-Mahamudra approaches.
I like this.
Here is the video demo but please do excuse my narrative as its not as clear in describing especially at the start of the noting self-enquiery into "where is this Noticer". I say sa it was "down there". What I meant is it is NOT down there, what was down there is the Object/Sensation AWAY from the sense of Noticer which always seem to be in the eyes or slightly behind the eyes but certainly not much as in the background there is more of a Image sense to it. So even there, there would be a distance from the "Noticer" and the Image in the brain. This will be interesting to practice some more.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S3R-O9JxzA
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 4/25/20 8:12 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/25/20 8:10 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsOnto today's practice;
Started with noting, very layed back, relaxed, calm. Freestye Noting Aloud kind of took a different route this time and started focusing on the Seeing Space (eye space) and there was this clear comprehanding of the space between the Noticer/Knower of this experience and the Objects and from this came about self-enquiery "where is this Noticer" The arising objects seemed either just up front or just behind or bellow or to the side but the Noticer was clearly not there as it was the Noticer Noting all the objects.
It was not in the ears either, nor in the tactile sensations, nor in the soreness in the throat, nor in the itch ... I was tracking that distance between the Object and Noticer this distance and spacial position would always lead back to the eyes and not even behind it but at the very contact with the eye. All behind would be but the Image feel.
This reminded me of what Kenneth Folk calls The 3 Speed Transmission;
1. Gear - Noting
2. Gear - Who Am I (or in my case where is this I or Noticer)
3. Gear - Just Surrender
I know the 1st gear well but never really felt that 2nd Gear as clear as today. This is new and Im now ore interested in the 3 Speed Transmission that KF talks about. There could be something there in his triangulating between Mahasi-Zen-Mahamudra approaches.
I like this.
Here is the video demo but please do excuse my narrative as its not as clear in describing especially at the start of the noting self-enquiery into "where is this Noticer". I say sa it was "down there". What I meant is it is NOT down there, what was down there is the Object/Sensation AWAY from the sense of Noticer which always seem to be in the eyes or slightly behind the eyes but certainly not much as in the background there is more of a Image sense to it. So even there, there would be a distance from the "Noticer" and the Image in the brain. This will be interesting to practice some more.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S3R-O9JxzA
You have such a sweet and gentle voice for these, too. I'm telling you Papa-ji, we could get rich on this shit, with the right marketing. There's a sucker born every minute, and there is still a huge untapped audience of spiritual suckers already milling around. We settled on 1% for me, right? I mean, if you're going to haggle, fine, I'll go as low as 0. I might pay you 1%, if you twist my arm. But not a penny less.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/25/20 9:12 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/25/20 9:12 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Posts"giving you experiential marks for 1 and 2, and i'll bet you're done plenty in third gear in other vehicles, on other courses and roads."
Interesting what you say here. I never thought of this but during my Ki-breathing time and later Shamatha I might have touched on some 3rd Gear too, in a more experiential way. During the Ki-breathing I did get all the way to 5th Samatha Jhana of Infinite Space but had no knowledge about Jhanas. I only knew it felt utterly safe. I've never experienced so much safety as in that state. Nothing bad could happen in that vast space and that tiny sense of self in the center of it all was the one experiencing this. This could have been part of that 3rd Gear but I had no knowledge of Vipassana/Investigation then.
Actually it looks more like 2nd Gear to investigate that tiny sense of self in that Infinite Space. Dunno. Matters not. All I really have is what is right here.
My Path is a jerky one. Jumping to some higher states then dropping down into dark deep shit

Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 4/26/20 5:36 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/26/20 5:36 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsMy Path is a jerky one. Jumping to some higher states then dropping down into dark deep shit

It's an upside down Path! It is what it is.
It's a beautiful, beautiful ride, and your jerky path in all its horrific acrobatics is a joy to behold.
love, t
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/8/20 6:40 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/8/20 6:37 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsInteresting sit;
Seems a bit confusing. What is what. Its like one stage is there and then another takes over but not in any linear order. There is clarity then there is no clarity, then there is clarity then no clarity (well, in no clarity there is clarity that there is no clarity) There is dropping into absorption and clear vanishings and then there is a sudden train of thoughts, then joy/calmness again and stilness spreading from warm pulsating palms, and so on.
The distance between the "eye space" and the body sensations and other seen objects "in the room", lost the sense of "distance" which were there before but now there is no clarity of "distance". As its all in the same "place". This is interesting as now the eye space and that which was seen, was in the same "place" as the warm sensation of hands and its after image.
Actually there is no sense of "place" hence it feels a bit disorientating and unpleasant. Ok, I can assume its all in the mind but Im yet to have some clear insight into it.
Right now noticing a preassure in the right side of the head, stiff neck on the right, stiff in the right side of the shoulder blade, and right side of the lower back a bit. Preassure frequency in ears is abit of a pain in the ars and there is clear agitation from audio stimuli.
General unpleasantness.
EDIT; aslo general tendency of the eye sight to go into slight diffused focus.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/9/20 2:13 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/9/20 2:13 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsIm noticing something off the cushion. As if Sensation would Freeze into a frame as soon there is contatct with it, in form of Noticing it. This would make investigating it impossible as its frozen and has not that vibratory appearance.
But then I looked closer and it seems that ONLY the Image Impression of the sensation is gone frozen and the sensation itself is still flowing.
This frozen image impression can feel rather "confusing" as mind relies heavily on it to make sense of the sensation which still is flowing normaly. In case of mind states arising heavily this can also be a confusing time, like "what was that? , what was this, wait, wait, what? , can you repeat that again?"
Not sure if this is what Ingram calls "Jerkiness" as it really can feel that way because the sensation-flow is going on and yet image impressions seem like frozen frames which have no organic feel to them. Imagine a Ballerina dancing with a Robot.
p.s. had a migraine last night , right side of the head, right side of neck, right shoulder blade was really painful. Needed painkiller and massage which helped.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/9/20 2:35 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/9/20 2:35 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Posts
But damn, man, that IS good poetry.

love, tim
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/9/20 3:39 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/9/20 3:39 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsThey are both product of my imagination. Why oh why would I favor one over the other?

Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/9/20 3:46 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/9/20 3:46 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Posts
that's the man i know and love! you scared me for a second there. Put your guitar in the mix and you'd have had a song.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/9/20 4:28 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/9/20 4:28 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsMy amp is cabinet-less at the moment after selling some gear. The new cabinet shall arrive this Tuesday together with a tube screamer style overdrive pedal

Hunting for that perfect tone!
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/9/20 4:34 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/9/20 4:34 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsMy amp is cabinet-less at the moment after selling some gear. The new cabinet shall arrive this Tuesday together with a tube screamer style overdrive pedal

Hunting for that perfect tone!
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/9/20 4:41 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/9/20 4:41 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsTim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/10/20 6:55 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/9/20 4:49 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Postsit was just a matter of time . . .
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/9/20 6:01 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/9/20 6:01 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsSat with confusion and as soon I started with noting aloud the confusion lifted. There was looking at the mind terrain. There was slow noting aloud with "there is" curiosity but with very laid back, acceptance manner of observing.
There would be a few urges to note faster but also letting go of it and noting according to the terrain. Laid back, matter of fact, slow noting. Likely 1-3 sensations a second.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/10/20 10:05 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/10/20 10:05 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Posts
that's the man i know and love! you scared me for a second there. Put your guitar in the mix and you'd have had a song.

https://youtu.be/ATpYIMtMPXU
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/17/20 4:43 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/17/20 4:42 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Postshave very strong stiff lower back pain (right side of the back) to the point of applying Tiger Balm on it and took one painkiller. There is still some residue stiffness in the right shoulder blade and neck but not as much.
Breathing is even, out and inbreaths are almost the same in lenght, calm, long. Mind seems clear with a sense of mild melancholy.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/17/20 5:59 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/17/20 5:59 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsVery unpleasant session throughout. Hard to track attention. It's here , then there somewhere then woah, where is it, is there, ... it was all over the place. Clarity's gone to bits. Many itches in form of insects crawling on or under the skin. Unpleasant.
Eyesight blips were present but this time felt violating. I'm not entirely sure but I think I could sense the Blip this time moving inwards in a very jerky fast way, and felt violating as if something has been thrown at you. Imagine someone throwing a stone into your eye. Very unpleasant.
In past sessions this Eyesight Blip would move from right to left.
Vibration in the palms was very "contained" there was some sort of vibration going there but could not describe as clarity was not there. It felt rather unpleasant.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/18/20 6:07 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/18/20 5:44 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsAbsorption was there and then gone and back again a few times. There was this murk / darkness in the seen and at some stage there was a round cloud in the middle of the seen surrounding the spot I was staring at.
The eyesight blip was present throughout and had a different movement this time. It's as it was moving from outside in and more towards the right eye. This was caused some curiosity.
Restlessness was perceived several times in form of body numbness followed by an urge to get up and image impressions of my smart phone (tuner). This wanisged after a few noting labels. This restlessness usually stops very fast and there is just that lingering image impression of it there. Then even that vanished just to be replaced by something else (hearing, itching, anything really).
The lower back pain did arise on the right side but would vanish as soon i would zoom in to investigate it. And if I kept the focus there it would not arise.
Sitting posture was obvious throughout and so was the short In-breathing and long out-breathing.
Hands had that "contained" vibration again. I checked if there was some tension in the muscles there but both hands were relaxed and yet felt as if some tebsion was there.
I could perceive more vibrations in the feet and legs today. Actually could feel vibrations on almost the entire body.
Generally this session had a unpleasant feeling tone. Noting voice had a tone as if in anguish but accepting it all. Very low and humble. It was certainly not a proud hip hooray look at me shooting these aliens like a cowboy

Sitting time will remain 45 mins once a day as there is no feel to increase this for now.
EDIT; in case I didn't mention body jerks did arise afte maybe 5 or 10 minutes into the practice and remained until the end. They were not so unpleasant this time.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/18/20 5:49 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/18/20 5:49 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/18/20 6:07 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/18/20 6:07 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/19/20 8:24 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/19/20 3:26 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Postsemotional reactivity, heavy feelings, lots of presence in the eyes/behind the eyes almost absorption-like but more into selfing-thoughts-feelings rather than Jhana-like. Im remembering to pay mindfulness to the nose (periferal vision) and commiting to the human realm. Some kind of preassure on the ears and jaws. Soreness in the throat. Strong stiffness in the neck. Tensed energy in the arms and tingling in the legs/feet. General restlessness and itching/crawling antsy-vibration under the skin.
Will try and sit at least twice today as today I have more time for myself. I find that the increased sense of suffering increases the desire for sitting practice.
Keep watching! Armies of Mara are shooting countless arrows! Turn them into falling petals! Keep watching! Watch Forrest watch!

Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/19/20 4:30 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/19/20 4:28 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Postsemotional reactivity, heavy feelings, lots of presence in the eyes/behind the eyes almost absorption-like but more into selfing-thoughts-feelings rather than Jhana-like. Im remembering to pay mindfulness to the nose (periferal vision) and commiting to the human realm. Some kind of preassure on the ears and jaws. Soreness in the throat. Strong stiffness in the neck. Tensed energy in the arms and tingling in the legs/feet. General restlessness and itching/crawling antsy-vibration under the skin.
Will try and sit at least twice today as today I have more time for myself.

amen
amen
I'm WATCHING!!!!! Petals everywhere, a blizzard of petals.
Still watching!
love, tim
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/19/20 5:14 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/19/20 5:14 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsAcceptance of the non-clarity, letting attention do what it does jumping from one object to the next , watching gently objects popping in and out, lots of "don't know" labelings. All noted with a whispering voice.
Memories from today. Some scenario spinning.
Stiffness in the neck and upper back left side close to the spine and low back on the right side.
Eyesight blips were not present as often but did arise with no particular clarity about them.
Generally, acceptance of the unpleasantness.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/19/20 6:45 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/19/20 6:45 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsThis time noting aloud felt out of place. Noted silently without laps in mindfulness which was accompanied with acceptance of all the unpleasant body sensations and feelings and mind states associated with it all.
Some comparing thoughts about my early Shamatha practice from 2010 arose. All this reminds me of the experience back then.
Lots of body jerks in the 1st sit today and in the 2nd sit also. Less towards the end of 2nd sit when I realized that this "contained" vibration in arms and legs and back and neck is numbness and soft pins and needless sensations.
Back was slouching and causing unpleasantness but I just accepted it and let it all be as is.
Ear frequency is loud and high pitch.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/19/20 2:23 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/19/20 2:23 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Papa Che log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Postsgot suddenly VERY tired and VERY heavy. Got hot flu-like heat and that heavy flu-like tiredness and just needed to lay down. Went to bed early and slept for 2 hours (just woke up recently) Feel better now and that flu-like feel and heat is not there.
Likely results of the today's two sits. Still stiff in the upper back close to the neck on the left side.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/13/20 8:56 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/13/20 8:56 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Video log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsAnyway, speed was there and ease of noticing, then all dropped into calmer, chilled out energy.
Still no desire to increase the sits.
Here is a short vid I made at the end of the sit
https://youtu.be/fcoN5atRTOI
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 4/13/20 9:29 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/13/20 9:28 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Video log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/13/20 9:48 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/13/20 9:48 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Video log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsShall I do the videos in nude?

Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 4/13/20 9:31 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/13/20 9:31 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Video log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsTim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 4/13/20 9:49 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/13/20 9:49 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Video log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsAnyway, speed was there and ease of noticing, then all dropped into calmer, chilled out energy.
Still no desire to increase the sits.
Here is a short vid I made at the end of the sit
https://youtu.be/fcoN5atRTOI
Okay, here's an interesting twist of your gift of vipassana porn to the community: I went to this 5 minute chunk, put on the headphones, and sat through it, (eyes closed, for me), treating it as if your voice were part of my own sense doors, which it was, of course. There was a fascinating interplay for me between, obviously, what you were SAYING< SAYING, and my own lag time experience of HEARING< HEARING, and the interplay between those two, with occasinal moments of room enough for something else as well from my usual 1-2-3 body-breath-word practice ("word" was you, in this exercise). Fascinating.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/13/20 10:15 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/13/20 10:15 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Video log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsYou need to play by the rules moment to moment, matter of fact as your life depends on it! Its not easy to see clearly through the bushes around you and mapping is not clear. But you keep following instruction moment to moment , step by step and there will be a clealing at some stage where you can clearly see that terain on General Ingram's Map. Its a good reassurance that all is going well.
But you have to do this.
Good luck. Che out.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 4/13/20 10:37 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/13/20 10:37 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Video log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Postscopy that, Che Actual.
You need to play by the rules moment to moment, matter of fact as your life depends on it! Its not easy to see clearly through the bushes around you and mapping is not clear.
Che Actual, i read you five-by-five. Maps on fire, over.
But you keep following instruction moment to moment , step by step and there will be a clealing at some stage where you can clearly see that terain on General Ingram's Map. Its a good reassurance that all is going well.
Copy that, Che Actual. Aware that by-the-book is my only fucking hope. Over.
But you have to do this.
No shit, Che Actual. Over.
Good luck. Che out.
Many thanks, Che Actual. WTF-1, over and out.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/14/20 2:36 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/14/20 2:34 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Video log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsLots of vibrations in the hands and finger tips, pulsations also. Same in the head skin. Some rushes of energy washing down or up the body but not too much. Lots of Neutral to borderline unpleasant/pleasant feelings.
There was lots of calm and no desire to speed up the noting aloud. There was more of an interest to soak into the sensations and mind states. One note per second and then speechless noticing for a second (approx), soaking into the object. There were vanishings again of the spot I stared at and the image of the room again turned to black and white 2D image. The gaze was defocused slightly and the perifery was included in the image space but the center was more pronounced than the perifery.
When there was an itch at the back of my head it was sharp and then there was an image impression of the back of my head and here somthing rather interesting happened; the image that my eyes could see (the room) merged with the image impression of my head at the back where the itch was. Now this is new to me! Never had this happen before.
Its as those two images met in the Mind itself There was some sort of transparency to them. This lasted for very short.
Another interesting thing happened; the body felt empty as a cocoon at one stage when I experienced unpleasant sensations of hunger in the belly. Lots of vibrations in the entire skin all over the body and the only thing that was "visible" was the inside of the mouth with image impression of the teeth, tongue, spit and sensations of the Earth and Water elements in the mouth, AND there was this round hard ball in the belly where the sensations of hunger were unpleasant.
I think that was all.
I also made a short video demo ( "There is" noting method) for our mate Tim which is already posted in his log but let it stay in here too in case someone finds it useful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhw0S-yWCjA
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 4/14/20 3:48 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/14/20 3:48 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Video log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsI also made a short video demo ( "There is" noting method) for our mate Tim which is already posted in his log but let it stay in here too in case someone finds it useful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhw0S-yWCjA
The video is primo styled to a slow and gentle ease into noting practice, and i have a testimony of it, i found Jesus immediately, then I found the Buddha, then Lao Tzu, then Papa-ji himself, who told me to calm the fuck down, and let those guys get on with their business.
Seriously, for someone like me, this is the first-grader's edition of Vipassana scripture. "There is Dick . . . There is Dick's dog Spot. . . There is seeing Spot run . . . There is hearing Spot bark," and again, at a generously, rich, slow pace that doesn't blow your mind and leaves room for actual enjoyment, curiously, and the joy of investigation. A gift, Thanks Papa Che.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/14/20 3:58 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/14/20 3:58 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Video log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsTim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 4/14/20 5:02 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/14/20 5:02 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Video log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Posts
Actually, I may be on Warner Bros black list, but that's a story for another time.

Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/15/20 9:00 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/15/20 9:00 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Video log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Postsagitation, short tamper, desire to practice. Can't notice any body pains.
Will sit as soon my partner comes from work.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/15/20 1:06 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/15/20 1:06 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Video log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsSit started with rather diffused eye sight. Open eyes as always, room turned into a black and white 2 D picture and all was included but the image could be dissected into the VERY Center (a dirt spot on the beehive box infrot of me), a wide not so diffused circular area (2-3 meters in diameter) and perifery that was more diffused than the rest. Center was vanishing and fast re-appearing. The whole image of the room was vibrating, as there were pixels. There was picture jerking, like somthing shook it. (NOTE, this is not chronological, blame my goldfish memory for that).
Lots of vibration in the hands and arms and legs this time too but not as much as in the hands. Itching that d occur was around the crown chakra area and was sharp then fast turning into crowling ants and bubbling up.
The whole session was mostly Neutral in feel and there was lots of Spaceness feel in the head-space mostly behind the eyes. There was some effort but this effort vanished every so often. There was sense of no-dirrection and slow noting but more intimacy with the objects which were not crazy clear at times.
Kind of a silent witness of that wild bouncing attention from object to object. It was more about the non controlable bouncing attention rather than the objects themselves it seems. A question "who is experiencing this?" also arouse a few times. No answer though.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 8:45 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 8:45 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Video log
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsKind of a silent witness of that wild bouncing attention from object to object. It was more about the non controlable bouncing attention rather than the objects themselves it seems. A question "who is experiencing this?" also arouse a few times. No answer though.
Damn it, man, we come here for answers!

Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 3:00 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/16/20 3:00 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - Video log
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsStarted sit with usual noting speed , not fast not slow, steady. Calm, some pressure in belly, a few sharp itches truning into small vibration pools, no body stiffness, all rather mellow, some sort of sadness around the eyes, images and thoughts about this forum and its people, good ammount of absorbtion as I usually rest my open eyes on one object, then Noting ALOUD stopped! Mouth was shut and there was silent inner voice labeling gently, not even each object noticed, attention at work ... concentration strong but wide ... questions "who is sitting, who is aware, who is seeing, who is hearing, who is ..." came about very often at this stage and each time it would happen when the eyes would see the Nose (that blured blub you see that is your nose you know), or rather when attention fell on that eye-nose.
Then the Noting went Aloud again but very Fast, whisper like not loud and the wording could not cope with the speed of noticing so it all sounded rather mantra-like. Slowed down again. Lots of attention on the hearing, especially the natural high pitch in the ears.
Im seeing more of this mindfulness of attention, where there is this curiosity to see when attention leaves and object and jumps on another. Would usually go very fast between 3-5 objects , bounce bounce bounce.
I think thats all. Last night could not fall asleep until 2 in the night. Hope to sleep better tonight.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/17/20 11:00 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/17/20 11:00 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsVery heavy, unpleasant sit with lots of uncertainty. Very heavy breathing, short in breaths which were unpleasant. The body at bum region was so heavily glued to the chair as if gravity was pulling it down really hard. Same feeling for the in breath.
preassure in the lower lungs likely diaphragm.
Clarity of sensations was rather there but uncertainty about how they exactly are unpleasant was unclear. Pain on the right side of lower back remained unpleasant and stiff-like throughout.
Made a short vid at the end of session to capture the feel of it.
https://youtu.be/DG7vHSw4jD0
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 4/17/20 11:11 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/17/20 11:11 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
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love, t
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/17/20 11:59 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/17/20 11:38 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsSome sits are like this others like that.
This one was NOTHING in comparison with my last years Re-observation

Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/17/20 1:07 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/17/20 1:07 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsWhat I was saying is that these sits (as off the cushion too) are also subject to Impermanence, they change. We can often say "I had a shitty sit, what a lousy meditaion" or "I had a great sit, boy was this joyful". All these are just experiences subject to change. Seeing Anicca not leaving anything unchanged/solid is developing dispassion for all experiences and accepting them for what they are and be OK WITH IT.
This really can aid in really shitty situations (or even on really cool ones) as one can be assured it will change "its always darkest before the dawn" or "who flies high falls low"

Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/18/20 7:52 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/18/20 7:52 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsAt one stage I could see COLOR in the hearing of the ear frequency. The space between the ears where the noise seem to take place there was cream like colored space with some sort of combs, not like wax comb but more entagled hexa shapes in a very organic cave that was light cream This was in the image space (image ipression while hearing the high pitch freq).
Noting Aloud turned into a mantra-like singing at some stage and I just let it go that way and discovered that this caused some fine pleasant feeling of gladness and concentartion improved too. After the sit I thought of those who prefer Mantra recitations and how this noting aloud can be used with a singing voice and feel all that vibration in the throat and head and chest rom singing, and the rest that is being noted.
Decided to make a short demo vid and now that I see it the Mantra-like singing is not as evident as it was inside my head

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKZkvLkG-EI
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/19/20 8:24 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/19/20 8:23 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsNot much to report as Im not remembering all details after playing football with my boy.
Right now there is unpleasant stiffness in the neck, slight unpleasant agitation, some unpleasant soreness in the throat, high pitch in the ears, slight unpleasant pain in the lower back to the right and I notice jaws tensing a bit.
During sit there was noticing of the sharp vs diffused focus of the open eyes contacting objects in the room. The more it diffuses the more calmness there is and less effort as there is suddenly a bit more clarity about the object with less effort to contact them.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/19/20 10:36 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/19/20 10:35 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsSat another 45 minutes now. Lots of itching, lots of crawling under my skin, vibrations on skull and hands and arms, very speedy noting to the point of my voice mumbling words.
Open eyes. Sight turned very dark, not many eye blinking. Some vanishing, lots of unpleasantness, determination to sit, many thoughts about this or that with image impressions. Lots of heat. Hands were really vibrating. Lots of body jerks. Very loud ear frewuency (even now while I write this). Sloutchinh back. Pain in lower back (right side only).
Felt like body was shrinking in size at some stage.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/20/20 5:22 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/20/20 5:22 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsI told him it's better to focus on playing with those toys he has in front of him instead of stressing about a toy he does not have and might even never find it.
Good advice to apply to meditation.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/26/20 5:18 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/26/20 5:18 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsStarted with noting aloud but quickly the aloud voice was staying in the way of clearly investigating the high frequency pitch in the ear which this time was accompanied by a low rumbbling frequency that felt unpleasant.
Stiff neck to the right and stiff low back to the left. Preassure on top of the head. Unpleasant lower fequency inn the ear (so there are two independent frequencies at work here one above one bellow the musical scale).
So I stopped noting aloud and let go into the silent noting;
eyes open as per usual. The image of the room turned dark again but this time it was more of a Violet to this dark (I dare use Ingram's term "murk" here). This room certainly was not "over there" but "in here" as the colors of the room were changing and the objects were vibrating and flickering. The spot I stared at was vansihing again. Thoughts about this and that came about, somethign about practice and even this forum.
I've let go of even the silent noting and just noticed what was and let the absorption take place and see where that goes. Visual image of the room was flickering, the hearing was composed of 2 different pitch frequencies that seem slightly "pixelated", sensations in the two hands where flickering vibrations of the warm and wet quality and all where perceieved by that "something" in the very same "space" I could not find. All of this experience, no matter which one of them seem to spring into consciousness simultaniously. Something in there seems to slice all these experiences into "one at a time" so to make sense out of it maybe? ... I dunno.
Felt enough of this shamatha based stuff and returned to noting aloud but with a low volume voice and gentle pace (likely last 5 mintes of practice).
Still feel that hang-over from this absorption. I have noticed eyelids not really blinking much during this session. This was not an issue or unpleasant.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/26/20 12:40 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/26/20 12:39 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Posts"I'm probably biased, but I found that I made more progress by really settling into meditation and letting the mind itself decide when to do jhana and when to do noting. If my mind was clearly in jhana, I would allow it to condition my mind and when I was in a vague or more busy mind state, I would gently note. I would drop noting again if I fell back into jhana. - by Shargrol "
This is interesting and something I can connect to my latest experience in meditation. Seem to get into Jhanas after just a few breaths and Noting becomes Effort and kind of "not really needed" so I let the mind just ride the Jhana instead and let go of noting or just gently keep nothing. Thanks shargrol! (found it on one link in another post on DhO, some blog on the net)
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/27/20 6:32 AM
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RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsStiil some stiffness in the neck but no pain. Back pain also subsided a bit.
All this irritability seems to come from sensory overflow that enters through the sense of hearing. Mind finds it hard to focus on the sounds and words.
Short inbreath and long heavy outbreath. Feels relaxing. Coolness on skin.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 4/27/20 6:36 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/27/20 6:36 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Posts"I'm probably biased, but I found that I made more progress by really settling into meditation and letting the mind itself decide when to do jhana and when to do noting. If my mind was clearly in jhana, I would allow it to condition my mind and when I was in a vague or more busy mind state, I would gently note. I would drop noting again if I fell back into jhana. - by Shargrol "
This is interesting and something I can connect to my latest experience in meditation. Seem to get into Jhanas after just a few breaths and Noting becomes Effort and kind of "not really needed" so I let the mind just ride the Jhana instead and let go of noting or just gently keep nothing. Thanks shargrol! (found it on one link in another post on DhO, some blog on the net)
Yeah, that Shargrol guy is something. I wouldn't necessarily believe he really exists, except that he laughed at a joke of mine once, and then told a good one of his own. He joke, ergo He is..
I had a vaguely similar thing this morning myself, after a solid run of my peculiar mantra work, the internal vocalization just felt laborious, just too damned m uch work, and i let it go and let the breath and body just do what they wanted to do and say what they wanted to say.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/27/20 3:40 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/27/20 3:40 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
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Sat a 45er.
Started with Noting Aloud and it went rather moderate, no effort needed there was just clarity, tap, tap, tap, one after the other they arise and pass away. Was able to notice slight shake (as when changing slide show picture, snap, new picture but you could see that snap for just a tiny part fo the second) in eye sight image which had something to do with the two unknown events (pulses or dips) of the outbreath ... then after maybe 5 minutes all energy kind of sank down and there was interest in the pleasant warmth of the hands cupped together, the soft, cushion like warmth, very fine velvety vibratons, felt really great and cozy. The noting voice was too loud so there was natural decrease in volume and I threw away the plectrum and continued to play finger style, with a much softer attack of the skin against the strings, so to hear all the dynamics of the arising and passing notes of the phenomenal experience.
I let go into this absorbed state with soft noting still going on but very much laid back.
Then after I have noticed those proto-thoughts that @agnostic mentioned but after catching them a few times realised they were proto-images that never formed fully. As I was dropping into Dissolution (maybe I should really call it 3rd Jhana) and all room got dark/black and white (eyes open, not much blinking this time) and center started vanishing I was more leaning towards thinking those proto-images were just the vanishing aspect rather than images not developing into arising. So these proto-thoughts @agnostic mentioned may be vanishing thoughts as one can only see the tail of it and not the whole thought as its already gone when we notice it. Dunno, just somthing I observed and could not have anything to do with those real proto-thoughts.
During the absorbtion there were some ponderings in form of a guilt for not just plowing through this mind-stuff with full blown Noting Aloud instead of this Jhana stuff but I just observed that guilt and resistance and noted them as thinking and unpleasant as there would be some hardness forming in the upper belly/solar plexsus. Almost like hunger pain, Hungry Ghosts realm maybe.
During the absorbtion the silent noting was taking place and in that laid back position I played a bit with "in seeing there is only the seen, refering back to no one". I took this literally!

Seeing (action of seeing, awareness of the sense door, that space around the eyes), the Seen (the object, leading to coprehanding it) and then when I waited to see to whom does this refer back to ... there was just this "waiting" in which moment I would also notice some other body sensations not related to the seeing game. In that "waiting" there was this sense of attention coming back to the eye space as there seems to be the point off that consciousness space.
After a while I expanded this "meassuring" of the distance between noted objects and the sense where this center might be it would always return to the eye space. The ear frequency is always in the center of the head (might be a bit to left and right also) but a bit down and further back from that center that seems in the eyes (is this the eye sense consciousness?). The crawly vibration in the skull would be above or to the side or at the back of that conscious knowing, again coming back to the eye space.
Off cushion there was some hangover and some agitation.
Steph S, modified 3 Years ago at 4/27/20 4:27 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/27/20 4:27 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 671 Join Date: 3/24/10 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/27/20 4:56 PM
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RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
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About the mental images tho

I even experienced recently Image of the room I look at MERGING in the mind with an image of an ANTICIPATION I think it was but certainly a mind image. Well




I think its a very engaging weapon this Noting Aloud is and keeps one really on the toes without laps in mindfulness which I think is of more importance at some stages than going too deep into each sensation (which is also needed at some other stages).
But its fun stuff allright! Glad you are enjoying it! I seem to be more sinking down (or is it up) into Jhana stuff as of late for some reason. All good.
Steph S, modified 3 Years ago at 4/27/20 6:28 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/27/20 6:28 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
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About the mental images tho

I even experienced recently Image of the room I look at MERGING in the mind with an image of an ANTICIPATION I think it was but certainly a mind image. Well




Yea, these little phantom images are a trip. Somehow phantom or ghost seems appropriate in how I think about them. They're wispy, almost translucent, really quick, and have this quality of "wait was that an image, did that really just happen?" I've sussed out that they're a reaction and way of trying to attach to or grasp what just happened. Like, there's a bare sound. Feeling tone. Mental image of what the sound was as a reaction to that.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/28/20 4:54 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/28/20 4:49 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsSat a 45er. Started with noting aloud and this went for at least 10 minutes I think but soon the absorbtion took place and the noting aloud was dropped. Noting silent was not needed. I let even the thoughts come and not be too concerned with them, noted or not. Pleasant vibrations in the hands did spread around the body but not to the legs (cant really feel much in the legs as of late, maybe ocassional spike in the musscles or a musscle twich and slight vibration on the toes but very very subtle).
Eyes open as per usual and the image of the Seen (the room) turned black and white again (lost all color) and the spot I stare at began to vanish again but much more clear this time. It would vanish and remain vanished for longer time than before.
There was some pondering and guilt about this Jhana stuff again. Im not certain its the best way to go with this. What if Im just wasting time by being in this Jhana stuff?!
Am I to allow myself to have good time in meditation? Shall it be carrot or stick?! Am I to allow myself to enjoy meditation? Can it be carrot and stick?!
What is best to observe in Jhana? Mind states? Feeling tone? Body sensations?
I mean the last thing I want to do is just hang there and Im certainly not doing that shit as Im not interested in it but I dont mind it if there are insights to be learned from them.
I just wonder if its ok to track the sense of Self when in Jhana? or else? I thought Jhana was for Gods and Vipassana for Humans! I can be a human! yes, Im feeling a bit edgy and there is a feeling of sadness too ...
What is it then? Must I really master both the Hell and the Heaven? To what end? Can I help anyone with this knowledge? Who? Gods? Hell Beings?
Shit! Some folks desire to get into these states and I laothe them! I do remember when I first heard of them and I so desired them! I just wanted to be in those states back then. No wonder I've got hammered so baddly when I dropped into the Dissolution Nana and the rest of DN. I've lost the Heavens! Now I get the Heavens back and I dont want them! WTF?!
Ok.
All cool.
Am I to allow myself to have good time in meditation? Both carrots and stick? Or just carrots? I ceratinly did the stick for a very several years already.
I think I should just go to bed.
Steph S, modified 3 Years ago at 4/29/20 11:17 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/29/20 11:07 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 671 Join Date: 3/24/10 Recent PostsSomething that's also super helpful is, up to 7th jhana, you can still also perceive the subtle dissatisfaction that happens all along the whole way. The arc pushes on naturally. Depending on your concentration level that particular day, it may take longer or shorter to get up the arc. When it's taking longer, there can be that nagging feeling of this could be finer, this could be more better. Or when it goes really fast it could be, this is great, I wish I could stay here longer. Even up in the formless realms I have noticed this dissatisfaction tension go back and forth between this is great and this could be better. When a bunch of other mind noise is out of the way, you can see this push-pull of craving and aversion really clearly.
Aside from all that, it's also totally okay to hang out in jhana just because it's fun. I promise every sit doesn't have to be the most productive thing ever. Enjoy the fruits of your labor once in a while and play with all the fancy mind tricks that have developed. See how pliant the mind can get. You're seasoned enough that I sincerely doubt you're going to fall off the deep end and be caught up in those golden chains, never wanting to return to vipassana again. You've seen enough in your investigations that I don't think the mind will let this happen. As shargrol told me once recently, trust the mind. The path pushes itself onward and even though it seems like you might get stuck at times, trust the process and that it will keep you on track.

Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/29/20 11:22 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/29/20 11:22 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsNoting aloud started and went on full on without much effort. This time I decided to stare at something different instead so the background is not the same.
After a while that slowing down happened again but this time I also noticed Tiredness and Willingness to slow down. So I did that; slowed down the noting aloud and in a more silent way.
Then came scenario-style image thoughts and here I've noticed noting voice consciousness doing its own thing (noting) and another consciousness scenario-spinning. Attention would be mostly on one then the other. Or maybe this was not the same attention? Dunno. The noting aloud activity was happening and then there was a seamless slip into scenario-spinning thought and the noting would likely fall into the background. Then "snap" back and rejoin the noting voice and that activity.
So there is this "thinking activity" doing its thing and "noting aloud activity" doing its thing even if no one is there to control it by observing it.
I could observe thinking unfolding slightly under the radar of mindfulness while noting aloud sensations, and noting voice doing its own attention paying while there was absorption into the scenario thinking.
Ok all in all there was a bit of a dreamy feel to this sit, especially the last half of it. Not sleepiness as such but diffused wider attention which was sliding here and there.
Again lots of pleasant vibration warmth in the hands spreading into arms and upper chest and arms.
Absorption was not strong but still rather diffused, not sharply centered.
My head dropped a few times and this felt a bit as when you are falling a sleep sitting and then your head drops down. Mind you I had eyes open throughout but would loose the sense of sight at times of scenario-thoughts spinning. It's as if in the act of thought spinning one becomes "blind" to the "reality".
Frequency in the ears changed pitch suddenly and it was obvious. It's as if the first pitch was behind the door and then someone opened that door and volume went up and sound was much more clear.
No "self-hunting" enquiery this time.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 4/30/20 2:23 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/30/20 2:23 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsTo be continued ...
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 4/30/20 2:24 PM
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RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 3:35 AM
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I will slap my self twice or trice today and drag my sorry ars back to the true altar of sacrifice; my meditation chair.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 3:48 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 3:47 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
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I will slap my self twice or trice today and drag my sorry ars back to the true altar of sacrifice; my meditation chair.
This self-mortification and abuse must cease, my beloved friend. The true altar of sacrifice is the heart, and no one's is more present everywhere, in every thing, than yours.
fer fooking Krist's sake, i was just yanking your chain. I thought you knew better. Play your fucking guitar, and post some good music in the Bar.
(edit)

Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 4:51 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 4:51 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
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As for music; I've sold my tube amp yesterday so I'm in the market spending countless hours in researching gear demos in hope to find that one which will satisfy the thirst of my yearning heart

Just an off the cushion note;
strong stiff pain in the shoulder blade area and couch potato kind of attitude. Diffused attention. Vibrations in the skull/brain as if an invincible hand is massaging the brain with its soft fingers.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 5:22 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 5:06 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
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i know, i know, that's your story and you're sticking to it. Fine, i've got your six all the way. But it breaks my heart sometimes, to see you chained down by having to act stupider than you are.

(edit) i mean, i get it. the tender humble gentle offerer of practice advice is my vipassana touchstone, and the trouble you took to make those crucial videos with me in my will always bring tears of gratitude to my eyes. And we know that the naked intensity of your actual practice "self" would scare away all but the demons of hell. So it's skillful means, upaya, state of the art. I won't undercut that. I'm just saying, i love it when you loosen up and are just that musical loving guy you are too.
(edit 2) keeping all my shit in one sack here for easy deletion if it pisses off one or more of your personas.
the thing is, i have learned, a little hard-core vipassana goes a long way with me. It's a specific effect, like my response to cannabis: two hits, and i'm gone for months. Chris was my first toke, you were my second. That's all it took, with me, i'm a lightweight, as all of my friends used to say, looking for a way to make sense of my cannibis-triggered flights. So thanks for the toke, bro. That is some good good shit.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 6:23 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 6:23 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
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Still researching if to buy a VOX AC15 amp or the new Fender Player Series Stratocaster? Hm ... ?
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 6:25 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 6:25 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
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Still researching if to buy a VOX AC15 amp or the new Fender Player Series Stratocaster? Hm ... ?
don't get me wrong, man. Your practice bloke is state of the art. But it's a hat. the joker and the musician are different hats. Wear each to the appropriate venues, in all cases keeping the occasional loving eye on me, as my hats sometimes blow off, and i throw off the rest of my clothes when i go to chase the hat.

Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 7:09 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 7:08 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
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Let me give you a heads up;
When I start rolling my practice and previous glories start to fade into memories , the "I" becomes rather a murky appearance, almost soldier-like, focused on the "bush" not to miss any subtle movements which could go unnoticed.
This "I" (in the mind) can be in form of junky nocked out by the enormous Earth's gravity not being able to move towards words. Hell, I managed to write a long reply to agnostic now just to delete it. Even if I utter words there is this "heaviness" to press them into the world even if this requires touching a touch-screen

But yes, I do read your new log No2 split by the saint of thread-splitting




Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 7:33 AM
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Let me give you a heads up;



Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 8:34 AM
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Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 9:37 AM
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RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsThe blink in the eye sight was as there was a very fast "black out" maybe I could call it "unknown event" as I don't know what it is. It's almost like a space between frames. Happens so fast it's impossible to examin it as it almost like not-knowing it of sorts. ... dunno.
I was resting the gaze on the ladder in front of me and one of the planks/steps I stared got a halo on both sides of it. The plank itself would turn dark and its edges pitch black but changing in intensity and there was a halo (light line on each side) around it. They were dynamic. The whole room again turned dark (black and white). Open eyes as per usual of course.
There is an open door to the left leading into another room and that room became totally black (very dark black cloud) and I could not see a single detail in there with the periferal vision. But I could see the ready of this room I'm sitting in but black and whitish.
There was a "bang" sound and I stopped noting aloud and got fright and listened ???!!! Looked at my dog and he was calmly chilling. So the noise was maybe in my head only as he certainly would react to such strong Bang.
There was sadness around the eyes which was more in the fashion of feeling miserable than dad.
The absorption started after maybe 5 minutes from the start of sitting. Not once was I lost in thoughts which would arise. Sitting posture was also there as well as all the sounds.
This sit was a bit different as I have not noticed the hearing of high pitch in the ears until much later during the sit. And yet it's a very loud pitch.
Ok. That's enough of writing.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 9:51 AM
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RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
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Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 12:09 PM
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RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsIm experiencing right now PTSD style flash-backs. Some violent stuff from decades ago. Unpleasant. All details are present. It's in the mind though. There is vibration all over the body skin. Pins and needles type. Sensations on the skull like ants under the skin. In breath and outbreath shallow.
Something hard in the lower belly but no panic attacks.
Coolness on skin.
Jaw is on the ready to clench (anticipating attack).
Cant remember exactly when I had these flashbacks last time but I'm guessing 2 years ago.
Chris M, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 12:23 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 12:23 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 4825 Join Date: 1/26/13 Recent PostsJust reinforcing something for you to watch for -- everything is in the mind

Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 12:43 PM
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RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsCan't tell if Arahant can experience directly without this knowing? I mean when conscious. Or is awareness somehow in the sense doior itself without knowing?
You can answer if you think this might be of benefit to me otherwise just ignore it.
Chris M, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 1:27 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 1:27 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 4825 Join Date: 1/26/13 Recent PostsNothing about how human beings experience sensation changes. I'm assuming that's what you're asking me. If I've missed the mark, I'm happy to try again.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 3:10 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 3:10 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsNothing about how human beings experience sensation changes. I'm assuming that's what you're asking me. If I've missed the mark, I'm happy to try again.
Its likely Im the one who missed the mark

Ok. So there is this practice and through it there is knowing of how flickeirng all these sensations, mind states and feelings are.This leads to dispassion/disenchantment. The same I quess applies to the Knower/Owner sense of this experience once its seen as flickering sub-selves (alert!!!!! Kenneth talks about "lenses" changing).
If Im getting your reply above then ALL is exactly the same when it comes to experiencing sensations, except there is this disillusionment with these sub-selves/lenses and seeing this there is no one there anymore to go through time claming This Is My Experience. If that sense of I is no more solid and is actually seen (not believed in but actually seen for what it is, flickering and ever chaging just like the itch on the nose) for what it is then there is some kind of "falling away" happening to the Belief of Self and that leads to the tipping point.
Or;
There simply is no sense of self in the moment of Profound Satipatthana, in THIS. This can be experienced anytime during this practice. If so then what is that urge that say "this moment is not good enough, there must be some better experience down the line". Could this urge become solid force of action just because mindfulness has lapsed? In this case going to the gym and training in Mindfulness more is the way. Like; shut up and keep it simple stupid, Ars on the cushion and keep watching.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 12:30 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 12:30 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 12:45 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 12:45 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Posts
It was all that hell talk, wasn't it?
That is some dark ass night, Sergeant. Carry on.

Nah


Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 12:49 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 12:49 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsPepe ·, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 2:03 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 2:03 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 691 Join Date: 9/26/18 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 3:26 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/1/20 3:26 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsThanks Pepe for the info. I will try next time I walk through our little forest garden but honestly Im the one looking after our little boy because of this Corona stuff his kindergarden is locked so he is always with me and we play a lot. Im fortunate to have an understanding partner who is ok with me going for a quick 45 minutes sit after she finishes work and then we do dinner and social family stuff. If I can do it on the cushion its ok otherwise it must wait until I have more time for this chasing of expereinces. Im more for a "comes and goes" style meditation, like vipassana and if attention suddenly goes to the sense of a wacher I look at it and the perception of distance form "it" to the next arising sensation. Still to do look at the distance between the sense of watcher/knower/noticer and the feeling tone and mind state. Sensations are much easier to see in this regard.
Its ok if this takes slow development or even the remaing part of my life. Im in no hurry. Im kind of getting more and more warmed up to Dogens idea of Practice-Realisation being one and the same. There can be resistance to this but that too is part of the practice-realisation.
Im tired now and shall switch off for the day. Take care and thank you
(I will try and place the eyes as you suggested while on the cushion and see what it does during my regular sit as I will keep on with noting aloud as per usual while the eyes are staring right+up. This could be interesting as I have fellt the urge to Always focus the eyes on a spot that is well centered with the body, infront and a bit down or a bit up. A bit to right or to left causes unbalanced feel and unpleasant. Will be interesting to test this while doing noting. )
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/2/20 12:31 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/2/20 12:29 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsLaid backpace, slower noting aloud with more emphasis on going into the object. Still relaxed body. Awareness of sitting posture was present with ease. noticing of eye space was there and so was some unclear relation between it and the brain space above it, a bit inside, above but not too much t the back. This space felt unclear in sense of no control and I felt ... whats the word dis..... something, when you cant locate anyone in there, when the "you" is a kind of lost and kind find dirrection but there was no "me" ... cant remeber the bloody word.
There was again these "blips" or "blinks" in the eye/sight space as if the image changes fast like on the power point presentation. This would take place when the eye lids would not blink much. It really has that "unkown event" like feels to it.
Ear frequency was present without much change to it except in volume changing at times.
Thoughts were mosty in the image space rather than narrative.
Absorption took place after some time but I let go of it by opening the eyes some more and sharpening the gaze. Less diffusion in the eye sight and the absorption would diminish.Still it came back in as soon the eye sight would get wider and diffused so I let it stay and do its thing. Similar room image where colors seems to go into dark image in the mind (open eyes). This image is dynamic and changing. The absorption seems to be connected with the warm pleasant vibration from the hands cupped in one another and spreading up into the arms.
Not many body nasties except a hard large rock like feeling in the upper belly which is hind of hitting into the solar plexsus area too. A few stiff points inbeween the shoulder blades but would vanish. Legs had that numbness to it and those slight pins and needles but subtle.
Right now there is some nice awareness of the breathing and mind seems pacified and calm. Some sense of urges arising just to pass away fast. There is ease of noticing the body sensations.
About those image thoughts;
they would be in form of this forum like an image of words "agnostic" or the image of Steph's avatar, or words "Chris Marti" and his avatar, and words like "Tim FF" and his image (the photo Ive seen of him on the net once and word "Forum".
There was also a planning thought to make video or it so to share it with agnostic and then there was this aversion towards making this video, like its a stupid idea. All this was Noted Aloud as thinking, planning thoughts, imagining (mind image), feeling tone and connecting with some body sensation associated with it (usually in form of excitement-peassure in the belly or solar plexsus, unpleasantish).
I did make the video but yes its stupid and I decided not to post it. It is ridiculous me sitting there and blabbing about mind states and mind images really

Anythinng else to report ... dunno ... I think thats it.
EDIT; Ah yes, I tried Pepe's suggestion looking up+right and it caused strain in the eyes (the eye musscles). I gave up on it as I dont like forcing anything causing strain in the body.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/2/20 12:36 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/2/20 12:36 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Postshow could I forget! There was Disgust during the sit towards the end but right now the mind feels lazy to remember what it was connected to. Some mind state for sure but dont know what it was exactly. It was also connected to that bodily snesation in the upper belly which was in form of a large oblong, egg like shaped heavy rock. This did not last for very long likely up to a minute max. There could have been some misery in it as well but disgust was domintaing this experience.
Pepe ·, modified 3 Years ago at 5/2/20 2:06 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/2/20 2:06 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 691 Join Date: 9/26/18 Recent PostsEDIT; Ah yes, I tried Pepe's suggestion looking up+right and it caused strain in the eyes (the eye musscles). I gave up on it as I dont like forcing anything causing strain in the body.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/2/20 2:24 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/2/20 2:24 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/3/20 8:01 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/3/20 7:58 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsAfter a while of fast pace freestyle noting aloud the energy calmed down and the tempo slowed down as well as the volume of the noting voice. Much more is noticed around the noted object wthout the need to note them aloud as they are so clear.
At one stage the attetion rested on the eye space after seeing those eye blips and the nose. There was curiosityt about about that space where images form, that space leading towards the knower of all this.
Last few time there was this sense of knower being in the eyes, then yesterday inbetween the eyes and the upper front brain, inside.
Today there was no sense of "it" being there, and there was no difference between the head/eyes/ears and the touch of the hands or stiff at the back.
There still was the Down-back-up-left-right sense and that meassuring sense was taking place from the head (eyes-ears).
What I did capture a few times is an image impression of that Doer/Knower. It did not arise fully and would vanish fast but there was this sense of it being fabricated by the thoughts effected by whatever came into the sense door (habitual grasping and forming the selfing from any given sensation)
It really is like a Domino effect, where one domino brick knocks the other and so on trtrtrtrtrtrtrtrrrrrr... dependent origination.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/3/20 10:02 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/3/20 10:02 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsI did make the video but yes its stupid and I decided not to post it. It is ridiculous me sitting there and blabbing about mind states and mind images really

I believe you can guess my opinion as to what you should do with this video.
no, my friend, not stick it up your arse.
Post it.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 1:18 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 1:18 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsTim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 1:28 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 1:28 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 2:08 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 2:08 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Posts
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 2:16 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 2:16 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Posts
Seriously, though i'm pretty sure you weren't!

Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 2:31 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 2:31 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsTim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 2:33 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 2:33 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Posts
Plus, i'm in full on silent retreat mode, so if you guys could keep the bullshit to a dull roar and quit forcing me to scream expletives from Re-Ob, i would appreciate it.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 3:40 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 3:40 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Posts
Shhhh! (Zen master walking around with his trusted Kyosaku).
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 3:45 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 3:45 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Posts
Shhhh! (Zen master walking around with his trusted Kyosaku).
Hit me with your best shot, Esteemed Roshi.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JRgHol94Xc
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 1:29 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/4/20 1:29 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsLots of clarity and steadfast midfulness. Calmness was present. Noticed those eye blips happening more often than before. At times they have been very fats blip,blip,blip,blip and at times not that often. Also when there was more absorption Blips were less. They were there but not as often.
Many prolonged and clear vanishings of the observed object in the seeing with eyes open as per usual.
Had a sense that I was cycling through stages rather fast, every few minutes and then again and so on. Absorption in Dissolution was very strong as this one is the one Im most familiar with and easy to recognise (center vanishing, eye sight turning murky dark, dark cloud (can be dark grey or even dark purple hue) of sorts surounding the object that is vanishing, chilled skin, relaxation on long outbreath, periphery included).
Either there was cycling through stages or some freakish jumping in and out of absorption state. All this felt normal and ok. In any way clarity and mindfulness where there.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/5/20 4:58 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/5/20 4:58 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsThere was this image of the Earth beneath me but I'm in the space above it. The Moon was in front of me and it literally and abruptly fell off into the universe vanishing without a trace. The Earth was now Moon-less.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/5/20 11:46 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/5/20 11:46 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsFor the very first time I could sense those eye sight Blips having some direction. As if they are sliding in, mostly go to the left and also return from the left. These were the most clear but it could also be that they slide to the right or even up but haven't observed this closely.
Tried to snap out of this absorption but it didn't work. So I just kept with it.
During the sit (45 minutes) there were many body jerks (these did not happen in a while now). Then towards the end there was a bit stiffness in the middle back and unpleasantness in the but-cushion sensations.
Oh, at the start of the session it was a first time really since I've restarted my practice that I've felt clear pins and needles-like soft sensations in the feet. Also in hands.
Ear frequency high pitch.
Felt very hot at one stage. Note; The room is not really hot. This heat was unpleasant.
Session ended with a flood of memories from my past (some women I once knew).
Off to make a dinner now!
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/6/20 12:31 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/6/20 12:31 PM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsTodays sit was basically yawning throughout so decided to do walking meditation the last 15 minutes which was more awake.
Will need to find a way to meditate when not so tired. Weekend is not an issue. I just need to figure out the working days. Best would be to get up early in the morning which means getting earlier to bed in the evening.
If this fails then will establish walking meditation in the after work hours and do sitting meditation during weekends (try and sit twice a day).
To be continued.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/7/20 12:48 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/7/20 12:48 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsWas slow, laid back, groggy, sleepy in a waking up way instead of sleepy in a falling a sleep way, which is good.
Mind is a different beast in the early morning. As if it's dwelling in a different realm than the one in the afternoon.
At one stage had a train of images, one after the other of people I know both dead and alive.
Stiff in the body , back, neck and lower belly.
Planning thoughts of coffee making

Btw, did noting aloud but rather quiet as I was just out of bed and can't have someone shouting in my ears early in the morning

This early session was not as precise as the afternoon session but that's ok and it might reveal something else this way.
Maybe have a cup of coffee first to wake up some more? Or just sit with that half-sleepiness which I did back in my Shamatha days no problem.
This will work.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 5/7/20 1:12 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/7/20 1:12 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2470 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent PostsWas slow, laid back, groggy, sleepy in a waking up way instead of sleepy in a falling a sleep way, which is good.
Mind is a different beast in the early morning. As if it's dwelling in a different realm than the one in the afternoon.
At one stage had a train of images, one after the other of people I know both dead and alive.
Stiff in the body , back, neck and lower belly.
Planning thoughts of coffee making

Btw, did noting aloud but rather quiet as I was just out of bed and can't have someone shouting in my ears early in the morning

This early session was not as precise as the afternoon session but that's ok and it might reveal something else this way.
Maybe have a cup of coffee first to wake up some more? Or just sit with that half-sleepiness which I did back in my Shamatha days no problem.
This will work.
Papa Che, you know that during my recent period of, um, Very High Energy Often Taken to Be Fucking MANIA, i was consciously foregoing my usual pre-first-sit cup of coffee in my wee hours routine, in order to best simulate dark night conditions. Right now I would rather die than simulate any more fucking dark night, and so i drink that sacred cup, check my supply for the future, and fuck everything about anything, and sit like the caffeined-up Chan monks of old, who knew a thing or two about waking up.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/7/20 2:00 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/7/20 2:00 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsPapa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/10/20 6:55 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/10/20 6:53 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Postsbesides eye blips, I've noticed a "shame thought" in the image space. It really was like a shadow quickly passing away. Ignorance. Non-willingness to be seen. Visually it looked like 2 vertical not sharp lines that had some light to it and in the middle it was dark. It went from right to left. There was a sense that "it" went from its own left to right.
There seems to be more trust and less effort in noting and letting attention and noting both do its thing. At times there will be "uncertainty" about the accuracy but that too is ok.
Noting Aloud speed has slowed down to about 1 sensation a second with many gentle noticings in between.
There seem to be a delicate balance/line between non-control and non-being lost. Walking this line now like a Trapeze walker without that long stick and not even using arms to balance.
Looking at those Urges pulling the Trapeze walker off balance. Needs a delicate letting go of, to stay on that trapeze rope.
Preasure on the left side of the head, above the eye line.
Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 5/11/20 10:59 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/11/20 10:59 AM
RE: Freestyle Noting Aloud - log + a few Practice Videos
Posts: 2523 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent PostsThere is a stiff pain under the right shoulder blade throughout the entire sit. Got worse towards the end.
Clear distance between the Watcher (eye space) and the seen, heard, sensed, smelled, tasted.
Feeling tone seems as part of the watcher/knower space. It's like an idea. Not sure.
Lots of eye blips.
Started as a high pace noting aloud tempo with lots of clarity and breathing and vocalisation were balanced. No effort.
Then it dropped down and got quiet like a whisper.
Then the voice went up in volume but was very deep with more vibrations in the throat due to such vocalisation.
Had an image of myself staring at me. Was angry in expression. This vanished after it reappearing a few times. There were thoughts of wishing well and seeing it until it vanished.
Some other images of humans and for each there was wishing well. Some of those are members of DhO and some from my private life.
That's all I remember.