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"An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."

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"An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/8/20 4:59 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." shargrol 4/8/20 6:34 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/8/20 6:38 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Matthew 4/10/20 10:54 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/10/20 11:03 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 4/8/20 6:46 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." shargrol 4/8/20 9:21 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Brandon Dayton 4/8/20 8:32 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Milo 4/8/20 9:50 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/9/20 12:10 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." T 4/10/20 6:30 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/10/20 6:39 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Not two, not one 4/8/20 4:52 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/9/20 12:21 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Not two, not one 4/8/20 4:52 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/9/20 12:26 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 4/10/20 6:00 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/10/20 6:04 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 4/10/20 6:12 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/10/20 6:31 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 4/10/20 6:42 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/10/20 6:48 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 4/10/20 7:09 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/10/20 7:10 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/10/20 7:11 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Chris Marti 4/10/20 7:23 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/10/20 7:40 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 4/10/20 12:34 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/10/20 1:54 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 4/10/20 2:05 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 4/10/20 12:31 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Not two, not one 4/10/20 2:25 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 4/10/20 2:31 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/11/20 2:15 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Not two, not one 4/11/20 2:32 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/11/20 3:43 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Matthew 4/17/20 9:27 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." agnostic 4/8/20 5:12 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/9/20 12:18 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Milo 4/8/20 9:25 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/9/20 12:16 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Milo 4/9/20 12:55 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/9/20 1:40 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Papa Che Dusko 4/10/20 11:17 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/10/20 11:26 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Milo 4/10/20 11:55 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Ben V. 4/8/20 9:47 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/9/20 12:11 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/10/20 6:01 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 4/10/20 12:45 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." nintheye 4/10/20 3:37 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Matthew 4/10/20 11:05 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/10/20 11:10 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Matthew 4/10/20 11:25 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/10/20 11:34 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Papa Che Dusko 4/10/20 12:24 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." agnostic 4/10/20 3:39 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/11/20 3:44 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Shari Tresky 4/10/20 6:18 PM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/11/20 2:24 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Tim Farrington 4/12/20 4:23 AM
RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ." Smiling Stone 4/17/20 7:42 AM
In the spirit of curious's light bulb masterpiece, I offer this complete-the-joke exercise: "An Advaitist and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."

I would humbly ask curious to take it from here, as far as sorting out responses into semi-finalists and finalists, and particularly with regard to declaring a winner(s) and awarding the prize, as he is clearly a boddhisattva specialist in this mpst demanding exercise of skillful means.

In the spirit of skin in the game, I will start with:

An Advaitist and a Buddhist walk into a bar. The Buddhist says, "Well, shit, it's all the transient suffering of anatta anyway, give me a shot of your best, bartender." And the bartender gives him a heavy-pour shot of shargrol's whiskey. Then the bartender turns to the Advaitist and says, "What'll you have?" And the Advaitists says, "Nothing, thanks. I'm good."

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/8/20 6:34 AM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
An advaitist and a tantric buddhist walk into a bar. And the Advaitist orders a round of double whiskeys. They've been on retreat for a month, so the first drink hits them both really hard. The tantric buddhist notices how poison can be medicine, just as the knowledge of dukka can become wisdom. The Advaitist says "wow, the whole world is drunk!"   emoticon

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/8/20 6:38 AM as a reply to shargrol.
emoticon (with a bow to Papa Che, master of the smiley, from whom i was inspired in my own study of emojis)

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/8/20 6:46 AM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
An Advaitist and a Buddhist walk into a bar. The Buddhist asks the Advaitist "Do you come here often?" The Advaitist replies "Oh, I have been here the whole time."

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/8/20 9:21 AM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
HAhaha!!! emoticon

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/8/20 4:52 PM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
An Advaitist and a Buddhist walk into a bar. The bartender, a Sufi, asks them what they want to drink.

- The Buddhist, cycling unpleasantly through nibbida nana, thows up his arms says "God knows!"
- The Advaitist, stable and shining with luminosity, looks at him puzzled and says "No I don't."

Malcolm

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/8/20 4:52 PM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
Or if that's too edgy, how about Daniel, Shargrol and Chris walk into a bar. The bartender asks "Are all of you having a beer?"

Daniel: "I don't know."

Shargrol: "I don't know."

Chris: "Yes!"

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/8/20 5:12 PM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
An Advaitist and a Buddhist walk into a bar

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/8/20 8:32 PM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö:
An Advaitist and a Buddhist walk into a bar. The Buddhist asks the Advaitist "Do you come here often?" The Advaitist replies "Oh, I have been here the whole time."

FTW

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/8/20 9:25 PM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
After a night of heavy drinking they go to leave.

Advaitan: So are you good to drive?

Buddhist: *Thinks for a moment* ...Not not ok to drive.

Advaitan: Well that’s not very convincing. Guess I’m up.

Buddhist: Hey you look pretty sloshed too buddy.

Advaitan: *Shrugs* sounds like a problem for non-drunk me to worry about.

Barkeep: ...Give me those keys.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/8/20 9:47 PM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
An Advaitist and a Buddhist walk into a bar, and they stare at each other.

The Advaitist asks; what are you looking at?

The Buddhist says: Nothing. And you?

Advaitist: Everything.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/8/20 9:50 PM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö:
An Advaitist and a Buddhist walk into a bar. The Buddhist asks the Advaitist "Do you come here often?" The Advaitist replies "Oh, I have been here the whole time."

Ooh very nice : )

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/9/20 12:10 AM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
emoticon

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/9/20 12:11 AM as a reply to Ben V..
emoticon wow! i think i just had an actual insight.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/9/20 12:16 AM as a reply to Milo.
emoticon (Papa Che, my master in emojis, will hopefully forgive me for the possible overstretch in using this one as depicting rueful drunken face) Edgy, Milo, very edgy material here. But if we can't work black and blue here, where can we?

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/9/20 12:18 AM as a reply to agnostic.
agnostic:
An Advaitist and a Buddhist walk into a bar


okay, mate, now you're just looking for trouble. agnostic and tim walk into a bar . . .

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/9/20 12:21 AM as a reply to Not two, not one.
curious:
An Advaitist and a Buddhist walk into a bar. The bartender, a Sufi, asks them what they want to drink.

- The Buddhist, cycling unpleasantly through nibbida nana, thows up his arms says "God knows!"
- The Advaitist, stable and shining with luminosity, looks at him puzzled and says "No I don't."

Malcolm
emoticon (karate kid, for possible martial arts level edginess) nice touch, getting a sufi in the mix, and at the mixing station to boot! curious, are you up for the immense responsibility i have hoped to dump in your lap? 

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/9/20 12:26 AM as a reply to Not two, not one.
curious:
Or if that's too edgy, how about Daniel, Shargrol and Chris walk into a bar. The bartender asks "Are all of you having a beer?"

Daniel: "I don't know."

Shargrol: "I don't know."

Chris: "Yes!"

emoticon I like the ad hominem move, very very dangerous, way edgier than fuckery between traditions. I think shargrol is a whiskey guy, though. And like the older woman in the diner, after Meg Ryan's public  orgasm in "When Harry Met Sally," I'll have what daniel's having.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/9/20 12:55 AM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
"emoticon (Papa Che, my master in emojis, will hopefully forgive me for the possible overstretch in using this one as depicting rueful drunken face) Edgy, Milo, very edgy material here. But if we can't work black and blue here, where can we?"


Hitting me right in the karma, Tim. I may now be doomed to 500 lives as a comedian whose jokes can only land on obscure internet forums...

Oh well, guess I'll just have to wait around for the next Buddha.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/9/20 1:40 AM as a reply to Milo.
Milo:

Hitting me right in the karma, Tim. I may now be doomed to 500 lives as a comedian whose jokes can only land on obscure internet forums...

Oh well, guess I'll just have to wait around for the next Buddha.

Well, yeah, ditto. But think how polished our material will be after 500 lives of dying in front of the audiences of obscure internet forums. We'll be cracking our own selves up until anatta starts laughing everywhere.

Yeah, go ahead, try to parse that last sentence.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 6:01 AM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
with a bow to curious for opening up the pit into the abyss with an ad hominem angle---

Stirling Campbell and nintheye walk into a bar. The whole place goes quiet, everybody puts down their poker cards and scoots their chairs back in anticipation of a shootout, because these are two bad-ass motherfuckers, gun-slinging madmen both, specialists in their fields, with the ownership and actual boundaries of the fields in dispute. People get shot, not just over who is growing or grazing what where, in these fields, but even over where there is dirt in the damn things.

Many have died in this range war. It's like the Hatfields and the McCoys, except the clans keep changing their fucking names, and no one's quite sure anymore who's exactly who, not to mention intermarriages and, uh, less obvious and official interbreedings, let us say.

The two sit down at the bar. You could hear a pin drop in the place, and everybody's else's hand is hovering over their gun. Ninth and Stirling are both making a point of keeping both hands in plain sight, and in mahamudra. But gunfire is as likely to break out over what "mahamudra" means as over anything else.

The bartender takes out his own shotgun, prudently, and says, "What'll you have, gentlemen?"

Nintheye: "Whatever he's having, with a different label."

Stirling: "The same."

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 6:00 AM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
Tim Farrington:
curious:
Or if that's too edgy, how about Daniel, Shargrol and Chris walk into a bar. The bartender asks "Are all of you having a beer?"

Daniel: "I don't know."

Shargrol: "I don't know."

Chris: "Yes!"

emoticon I like the ad hominem move, very very dangerous, way edgier than fuckery between traditions. I think shargrol is a whiskey guy, though. And like the older woman in the diner, after Meg Ryan's public  orgasm in "When Harry Met Sally," I'll have what daniel's having.

There is no ad hominem there. It's just pure logic. Maybe you know this, I don't know, but if not, I can explain the logic of it. 

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 6:04 AM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö:
Tim Farrington:
curious:
Or if that's too edgy, how about Daniel, Shargrol and Chris walk into a bar. The bartender asks "Are all of you having a beer?"

Daniel: "I don't know."

Shargrol: "I don't know."

Chris: "Yes!"

emoticon I like the ad hominem move, very very dangerous, way edgier than fuckery between traditions. I think shargrol is a whiskey guy, though. And like the older woman in the diner, after Meg Ryan's public  orgasm in "When Harry Met Sally," I'll have what daniel's having.

There is no ad hominem there. It's just pure logic. Maybe you know this, I don't know, but if not, I can explain the logic of it. 

Linda, I really don't have a grasp on the pure logic here, and would be grateful and delighted if you would explain it.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 6:12 AM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
Okie. The question if taken literally, as logic does, is whether they are all having a beer. If the first person did not want a beer, he would know that they are not all having a beer. Saying "I don't know" thus implies that he is having a beer but that he doesn't know about the others. The same goes for the second one (well, he would know that the first one is having a beer, but he doesn't know about the last one). When the last person is about to answer, he thus already knows that all the others are having a beer. As he apparently also wants a beer, he can answer the question, because he knows that all three of them are having a beer. 

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 6:31 AM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö:
Okie. The question if taken literally, as logic does, is whether they are all having a beer. If the first person did not want a beer, he would know that they are not all having a beer. Saying "I don't know" thus implies that he is having a beer but that he doesn't know about the others. The same goes for the second one (well, he would know that the first one is having a beer, but he doesn't know about the last one). When the last person is about to answer, he thus already knows that all the others are having a beer. As he apparently also wants a beer, he can answer the question, because he knows that all three of them are having a beer. 


Holy shit, you're right. I think. 

But wait--- if either of the two who didn't know before the third one did know say that they do know now, in light of Chris's answer, and they don't want a beer (we all know shargrol's partial to whiskey, and i don't know yet whether Daniel is having a beer or not), doesn't the case you're making show itself illogical? I am willing to suffer you going into proposition or predicate logic symbology here, even, i really am up for this, and i'm not trying to yank your chain. I don't yet see that it's pure logic at work. So pick your best logic language, as far as your sense of skillful means go here, and i will be patient and humble and try my damnedest to not go all Godel on you.

(edit) The first person saying i don't know does NOT necessarily imply he is having a beer, and that what he doesn't know is only whether the others are as well. It could just as easily imply that he is NOT having a beer, and doesn't know what the others are having as well.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 6:30 AM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
This is great

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 6:39 AM as a reply to T.
T:
This is great


T, that's easy for you to say, from your nice safe seat down the bar, with your beverage of choice and popcorn or pretzel bowl in front of you. I'm in deep shit here, because if Linda is right and curious did NOT take the low road of going ad hominem in his joke, then the entire karmic weight of that ad hominem low road through the bar jokes falls squarely, logically, and crushingly, on me. This is serious as a fucking heart attack, my friend.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 6:42 AM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
But the first person doesn't have to know what the others are having if he already knows that he is not having a beer. The answer would be the same regardless of what the others are having.

There is of course the possibility that he hasn't decided yet. This old joke about logicians walking into a bar (yes, curious was cheeting) doesn't take that possibility into account. I have always found that fact annoyingly illogical. I guess it is just taken for granted that logicians are not only logical but also binary, or maybe those hyperrational people just never hesitate.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 6:48 AM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö:
But the first person doesn't have to know what the others are having if he already knows that he is not having a beer. The answer would be the same regardless of what the others are having.

There is of course the possibility that he hasn't decided yet. This old joke about logicians walking into a bar (yes, curious was cheeting) doesn't take that possibility into account. I have always found that fact annoyingly illogical. I guess it is just taken for granted that logicians are not only logical but also binary.

Well, see, there you go: the possibility that he really hasn't decided (or committed) is key here. He may be like Shrodinger's cat, in the sealed box, a wave form, not a particle. At some point, we find out the cat is either drunk, or dead, but we don't know from his first waveform response. So don't argue with ME here, you goddess of reason and beauty, take it up with Niels Bohr, who is from your neighborhood as i recall. Einstein may have your back here.

Am I still on the hook here, by the way, or does curious cheating redistribute the karmic load of the ad hominem low road into bearable portions again? Because neglected in all this is the fact that I cracked myself up bad with my own ad hominem low road joke, and I would like to know how many eons i have to spend doing stand-up in hell with Milo, to pay off my karmic debt.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 7:09 AM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
And that's where logic fails, among other things. It really fails to take into account the whole wave-particle issue. You are absolutely right. That and the fact that people (I include bartenders among those) very rarely care about logic in phrasing their questions anyway. The poor unenlightened bartender would only serve one beer and offer the others a drink menue. 

I have heard that it helps to own the karma before it ripens, so you're probably good. That stand-up show would be something, though. Maybe you guys could entertain those poor Bodhisattvas instead?

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 7:10 AM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö:

I have heard that it helps to own the karma before it ripens, so you're probably good. That stand-up show would be something, though.

Thank you, from my heart. And drop by for the hell open-mike comedy night anytime, kid, i'm here all week, for the foreseeable future, until all sentient beings are saved, if the gig goes well, and Milo is here for at least the next five hundred lifetimes.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 7:11 AM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö:
The poor unenlightened bartender would only serve one beer and offer the others a drink menue. 



Now that is funny!!!

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 7:23 AM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
This is starting to remind me of the Monte Hall Problem.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 7:40 AM as a reply to Chris Marti.
Chris Marti:
This is starting to remind me of the Monte Hall Problem.


Which is complicated even further as it shades into the Prisoner's Dilemma, which is solved entirely by someone who knows that prison is as good a place to do the work as any, and so can generally be counted on to lose to the rest of the prisoners, until the meek inherit the earth.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 10:54 AM as a reply to shargrol.
This one might still win for me, due to personal predilections. Although the formal logic question of "are you all having a beer" is good too

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 11:03 AM as a reply to Matthew.

Mon ami, shargrol is disqualified, sorry to say, for not letting Chris Marti have a thread off. Also, c'est tôt dans la course, et monsieur curious doit encore s'engager à être le juge. Je pourrais peut-être vous demander s'il ne passe pas? Il donne des chemins gratuits comme prix, ce qui vous donnerait de grandes opportunités de travailler avec vos siddhis.


RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 11:05 AM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "so what'll it be?"

The Buddhist says, "subject to cessation, like all conditioned things."

The Advaitan says, "same as it ever was."

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 11:10 AM as a reply to Matthew.
Matthew, emoticon! Et je considérerai cela comme un "oui" si vous jugez le fil, si curious ne le font pas.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 11:17 AM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
"We'll be cracking our own selves up until anatta starts laughing everywhere"

"Fuck Anatta!!!" - sais Anicca. 

p.s. Smiley is strong with you my young padawan! 

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 11:25 AM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
After acquiring the siddhi of Translate from the bodhisattvas over at Google, I say: Bueno, Tim, consíderalo así.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 11:26 AM as a reply to Papa Che Dusko.
emoticon

Papa Che, Linda has, sad to say, been forced, as a goddess, to start her own schismatic sect (see the thread on where chris marti's journal went for the gory details). Short version is, her brand has better emojis, and i am now her devoted disciple. She specifically invited you to join her in this unfortunate heresy thing she has been driven to, because you are the acknowledged master of the emoji. I urge you to join us in this historic schism.

Did I mention the lobotomy part? Or was that just my right brain that thought I did?

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 11:34 AM as a reply to Matthew.
Matthew:
After acquiring the siddhi of Translate from the bodhisattvas over at Google, I say: Bueno, Tim, consíderalo así.


Ti ho detto, amico, che i tuoi siddhi sono in aumento. Upāya-kaushalya, कौशल्य, ora, attento, attento.


RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 11:55 AM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
Tim Farrington:
Milo:

Hitting me right in the karma, Tim. I may now be doomed to 500 lives as a comedian whose jokes can only land on obscure internet forums...

Oh well, guess I'll just have to wait around for the next Buddha.

Well, yeah, ditto. But think how polished our material will be after 500 lives of dying in front of the audiences of obscure internet forums. We'll be cracking our own selves up until anatta starts laughing everywhere.

Yeah, go ahead, try to parse that last sentence.
Hahaha. Yes thank you folks, we'll be here all kalpa! Da dum.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 12:24 PM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
Ok damn it let me join this thread just to be of benefit to Tim (see all Im doing for you, see , see, seeeeee)

Buddhist and Advaitist enter an Irish Pub;

Bartender: ya allroight horse?
Advaitist: Non-double whiskey please!
Buddhist: keep me on a steady stream of Guinness!

(may this thread be of benefit to countless beings) 



emoticon

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 12:31 PM as a reply to Chris Marti.
Chris Marti:
This is starting to remind me of the Monte Hall Problem.

Oh that one. Yeah, you should always switch because of probability of your being stupid the first time around.

Maybe that's why people often find that their last method was the one that brought about awakening? emoticon Heh, nah, hardly. emoticon

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 12:34 PM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
Tim Farrington:


Which is complicated even further as it shades into the Prisoner's Dilemma, which is solved entirely by someone who knows that prison is as good a place to do the work as any, and so can generally be counted on to lose to the rest of the prisoners, until the meek inherit the earth.


Did you just hack that damn play theory that’s making the world so messed up? Forget Chris - Tim is my hero now.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 12:45 PM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
I vote for all of these joke threads having some version of the not one and not two solution, just like comedians make it a thing to have certain jokes reappear. So...

Advaitan: I'm having a beer. Care for one too?
Buddhist: Not one...
Advaitan: Oh, forget it, you're not having two. 

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 1:54 PM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö:
Tim Farrington:


Which is complicated even further as it shades into the Prisoner's Dilemma, which is solved entirely by someone who knows that prison is as good a place to do the work as any, and so can generally be counted on to lose to the rest of the prisoners, until the meek inherit the earth.


Did you just hack that damn play theory that’s making the world so messed up? Forget Chris - Tim is my hero now.

Actually, i didn't hack it, the solution was imposed upon me without escape (see what i did there, lol), because of how many times it has brought such relief and joy to those around me when i finally got run to earth by the authorities and properly locked up on a ward. Practice making perfect, and given the undeniable brain chemistry i have been blessed with, I came to realize that I had to work, not just on locked psych wards, but occasionally in a strait-jacket or four-point restraints; and, learning to work there . . . Q.E.D., my logical goddess. The rest of the hack follows easily from there.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 2:05 PM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
Well, then I salute your constructive approach to it. 

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 2:25 PM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
Tim Farrington:
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö:
But the first person doesn't have to know what the others are having if he already knows that he is not having a beer. The answer would be the same regardless of what the others are having.

There is of course the possibility that he hasn't decided yet. This old joke about logicians walking into a bar (yes, curious was cheeting) doesn't take that possibility into account. I have always found that fact annoyingly illogical. I guess it is just taken for granted that logicians are not only logical but also binary.

Well, see, there you go: the possibility that he really hasn't decided (or committed) is key here. He may be like Shrodinger's cat, in the sealed box, a wave form, not a particle. At some point, we find out the cat is either drunk, or dead, but we don't know from his first waveform response. So don't argue with ME here, you goddess of reason and beauty, take it up with Niels Bohr, who is from your neighborhood as i recall. Einstein may have your back here.

Am I still on the hook here, by the way, or does curious cheating redistribute the karmic load of the ad hominem low road into bearable portions again? Because neglected in all this is the fact that I cracked myself up bad with my own ad hominem low road joke, and I would like to know how many eons i have to spend doing stand-up in hell with Milo, to pay off my karmic debt.

First, I was not cheating. I was facilitating the rebirth of the joke in accordance with its karma.

Second, there is no point asking me what I meant, for three reasons.
1. The text is completed by the reader.
2. That was a prior me, since refabricated many times.

Malcolm

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 2:31 PM as a reply to Not two, not one.
Well played!

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 3:37 PM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
Tim Farrington:
with a bow to curious for opening up the pit into the abyss with an ad hominem angle---

Stirling Campbell and nintheye walk into a bar. The whole place goes quiet, everybody puts down their poker cards and scoots their chairs back in anticipation of a shootout, because these are two bad-ass motherfuckers, gun-slinging madmen both, specialists in their fields, with the ownership and actual boundaries of the fields in dispute. People get shot, not just over who is growing or grazing what where, in these fields, but even over where there is dirt in the damn things.

Many have died in this range war. It's like the Hatfields and the McCoys, except the clans keep changing their fucking names, and no one's quite sure anymore who's exactly who, not to mention intermarriages and, uh, less obvious and official interbreedings, let us say.

The two sit down at the bar. You could hear a pin drop in the place, and everybody's else's hand is hovering over their gun. Ninth and Stirling are both making a point of keeping both hands in plain sight, and in mahamudra. But gunfire is as likely to break out over what "mahamudra" means as over anything else.

The bartender takes out his own shotgun, prudently, and says, "What'll you have, gentlemen?"

Nintheye: "Whatever he's having, with a different label."

Stirling: "The same."
emoticon

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 3:39 PM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
An Advaitist and a Buddhist walk into a bar:

Bartender: What would you like to drink?

Advaitist: Go fuck yourself.

Buddhist: It's nothing personal.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/10/20 6:18 PM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar. After they ordered their beers they turned their attention to the baseball game on TV.

The Advaitan asked the Buddhist, "Who's on first?

The Buddhist answered, "No One."

The Advaitan said, "What do you mean No One? I just saw SomeOne running to second base!

They went back and forth for an hour, getting more and more frustrated and keeping score on the no ones and someones running the bases and scoring home runs.

Finally, the bartender - a Western Philosophy buff and Wittgenstein fan - came up to them and shouted,

"Enough! Can't you see, it's all just a language game!"

The Advaitan and the Buddhist looked at one another with a unified wink and yelled back (in unison) 

"No you stupid jerk! It's baseball!"

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/11/20 2:15 AM as a reply to Not two, not one.
curious (actually, tim, for those paying attention and aware of how bad tim is at boxes):
curious (this being the actual salient point from malcolm, to which tim ineptly attempts to reply below):
[quo

First, I was not cheating. I was facilitating the rebirth of the joke in accordance with its karma.

Second, there is no point asking me what I meant, for three reasons.

1. The text is completed by the reader.

2. That was a prior me, since refabricated many times.


Malcolm


Am I still on the hook here, by the way, or does curious cheating redistribute the karmic load of the ad hominem low road into bearable portions again? Because neglected in all this is the fact that I cracked myself up bad with my own ad hominem low road joke, and I would like to know how many eons i have to spend doing stand-up in hell with Milo, to pay off my karmic debt.

Malcolm, previous version of Tim here, replying to long-extinguished version of you,

First, it was Linda who said you were cheating, not me. I was humoring her for the sake of argument and wangling for a decent deal on the karmic damage. My position FROM THE BEGINNING was that in a genius move you had liberated the original pedestrian joke and freed it to soar into realms of unimaginable freedom and fun with what i have been calling the ad hominem move. and that i intended to leap out into thin air on that basis early and often.

Second, I do not intend to ask you what you meant, also for three reasons:
1. I am happier with my own interpretation of the text than I would probably be with anything you said anyway.
2. What you said in your (previous you, i mean) #2. Agreed.
3. Can't you count, man? I mean, seriously.
4. (deleted)
5. Are you going to commit to judging this joke thread or not? Matthew has indicated he might be open to doing it if you don't, but i had to twist his arm in at least four languages and everybody knows you are a master of the judiciousness. 
6. la, a note to follow sol.
7. Mi, i eat with jamb and bread.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/11/20 2:24 AM as a reply to Shari Tresky.
Shari Tresky:
An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar. After they ordered their beers they turned their attention to the baseball game on TV.

The Advaitan asked the Buddhist, "Who's on first?

The Buddhist answered, "No One."

The Advaitan said, "What do you mean No One? I just saw SomeOne running to second base!

They went back and forth for an hour, getting more and more frustrated and keeping score on the no ones and someones running the bases and scoring home runs.

Finally, the bartender - a Western Philosophy buff and Wittgenstein fan - came up to them and shouted,

"Enough! Can't you see, it's all just a language game!"

The Advaitan and the Buddhist looked at one another with a unified wink and yelled back (in unison) 

"No you stupid jerk! It's baseball!"
emoticonemoticonemoticonemoticon. I'll have what Wittgenstein is serving! Wittgenstein!! A round from Wittgenstein, on the house!

Welcome to the Dharma Overground, Shari. All the gin-joints in all the towns in all the world, and you walk into this one? And start cracking jokes about getting Advaitans and Buddhists to agree on something? Nervy move.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/11/20 2:32 AM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
Lol.

Judiciousness does not apply! So it'll have to be Matthew ...

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/11/20 3:43 AM as a reply to Not two, not one.
Well, Malcom, i think you should tell him that, not me, because YOU ARE THE ONE PASSING THE FUCKING BUCK.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/11/20 3:44 AM as a reply to agnostic.
agnostic:
An Advaitist and a Buddhist walk into a bar:

Bartender: What would you like to drink?

Advaitist: Go fuck yourself.

Buddhist: It's nothing personal.

ooooooooooooooHHH! And sticks the landing!

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/12/20 4:23 AM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
Two Advaitans (nintheye and Stirling Campbell), three Buddhists (Christ Marti, Papa Che, and curious), and Tim fucking Farrington walk into a bar. 

"Have a beer, gentlemen?" Wittgenstein, the bartender, asks. "And you, TFF, a beer?"
Chris: Yes, please.
Papa Che: emoticon
curious: I'm willing to try one, sure.
ninetheye: I am already one with the beer.
S
tirling: Agreed, 100%.
TFF: I'll have three.
Wittgenstein: Three?!
TFF: Not one, not two, three, Ludwig. Do I stutter?

Bonus points for how many beers the bartender actually brings, based on these orders.

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/17/20 7:42 AM as a reply to Tim Farrington.
Three buddhists sheriffs enter a saloon. Picture John Wayne, Dean Martin, and Angie Dickinson. They are looking for an advaita landlord who plans to own everything in town. No one is there. The bartender is nowhere to be seen. There is something written with lipstick on the mirror behind the bar... "Help yourself"...
But there is no self.
After a while, Dean utters "I know where Jack keeps his booze". He passes behind the bar and find the odd Shargrol's spirit.
They have a shot and Dean forgets everything. another one and he remembers nothing. One last for the road and they fall back in their boots, feeling lite and awake.
"This Jack is an "Eraserhead"", says Angie.
"Better go to that ranch and stop that Advaita horse thief before he buys the whole town", says John.
"He won't get that saloon" says Dean!
Off they go. The bar is empty.
Ok, I was slow...
From my retreat log, where you would get the context...
That's Tim, of course, who coerced me into reviving this thread and attract some attention on ME!
metta all the same
smiling stone

RE: "An Advaitan and a Buddhist walk into a bar . . ."
Answer
4/17/20 9:27 AM as a reply to Not two, not one.
curious:
Lol.

Judiciousness does not apply! So it'll have to be Matthew ...
The Buddhist, sipping in moderation, says "judge with discernment, bearing no ill-will nor clinging to fame and prestige. The Thus-Gone-One teaches via the middle."

The Advaitan, four beers in, says "what? There's no one else to judge!"