Rich N:
Hi Elena...
Shinzen is the closest I've got to a "guru", I've watched everything he's got on YouTube at least once. I'm familiar with that video. He doesn't say at any point that there is an instant solution which does not require any previous practice.
Look up in his new structure of his teaching - he has different categories. Not all of them require meditation experience.
Ciaran Healy's "method" to enlightenment seems to be almost just a philosophical decision that there is no such thing as self. I appologise if we're not talking about the same thing here... I googled Direct Pointing and that lead to be Ruthless Truth which led me to Ciaran... who as it turns out is someone I'm already quite familiar with from 6 or 7 years ago for something called the "Apocolypse Opener" which is actually a way of meeting women in nightclubs.
6-7 years ago, you say? And who knows what he did besides that. Read his Thunder and Sunshine on his blog - you get more wider view how he was evolving. He is not cookie cutter-ed, that's for sure.
Even in the case of Eckhart Tolle who almost makes it seem like all that's required is a decision to live in the moment and that's the job done, he actually meditated and still meditates for long durations of time on a regular basis. His book describes an over-night change, but it doesn't mention the years of preparation which set him up to have it.
I am not much familiar with Eckhart. I never head he was seriously meditated before his awakening. But again, I am not familiar.
As much as I would love for there to be a way through like this, I'm skeptical because I'm not convinced enlightenment and destruction of the self can happen without thousands of hours of chipping away.
then for you it will be thousands of hours
The truth is I have ALREADY ACCEPTED that there is no self, and I'm ALREADY PREPARED to let go of my identity.
nothing needs to be accepted. Please, please do not accept anything - find out for yourself!
But that logical acceptance aside, I do not feel free,
here you go - that's right
and even though I have moments with more self, and less self,
That is not possible. Self does not exist. Not more self, not less self. Look if possible to have less or more of Unicorn in your room. Or it's just a thought, an image that in actuality does not exist?
and even though I am even now becoming familiar with a "sense" of what "self" actually tastes like... there has been no sudden explosion or dissolution for me. I feel extremely trapped and it seems that regardless of my will to let go of who I am...
this is very honest. And you can see the suffering in it. Right there - dukkha. When sense of self is the owner of the house - he make believe he is exist in actuality. But because this is false, and in reality there is no self - you feel the turmoil. So find out the truth.
to accept that there is no observed and no cause but infact just experience... it doesn't matter. I can't do it, because I can't see it.
very true. You know what will help you - your honesty and non-acceptance of what you can't see for yourself. Good. very good. Do not accept - dig deeper.
And to be honest... my knowledge on this subject and my intuition tells me the reason why I can't do it is because I simply do not have the meditative skill ..
.
To see the illusion of the self, meditative skills not necessary. For some - needed to go through thousand of hours, for some - none. What is depends on I don't know, maybe Daniel Ingram knows, I would love to hear on this from him. For me was necessary, for some reason, but for some others not ( my friend Ilona on this forum, for example).
I haven't yet got the clarity or focus necessary to spilt up the illusive self and for "me" to dissolve permanently into nothing more than sensory experience The answer to that... is daily practice for an indeterminate amount of time..
The way you are talking about is very long. There is shorter way to see the non-existence of the self. If you watch all the Shinzen Young, in one of his videos he explicitly said that his awakening was not with any of his practices: vipassana or zen ot vajrayana, but with inner inquiry method, similar to direct pointing - look into your immediate experience and tell the truth about it. You can do whatever you want after that - you can meditate your thousand hours, why not if you will be drown to it. BUT there will be monumental difference who/what is meditating.
I wish it were more simple, but I do not believe it. If you have something I can do which you think will change that I am prepared to do it.
Consider meditation for mind purification and direct pointing or inner inquiry for finding the truth right now. If you decide, email me completehumanity at gmail dot com, if I am free at the moment, I will help you to keep the direction where and how to look.
The way I see enlightenment, and the way it most plausibly appears... is that it's an experience you have once you have developed a sufficient level of specific mental skills... those skills you development in meditation.
Look, how you are one step forward and one back - I don't believe, but I am willing to try, but it's not possible, blah, blah - and the mind will find excuses, sure. It's a hide-and-seek game.
How you have that experience... well it appears there are many ways. Asking "Who am I" over and over... noting... zen... and so on... but the question of whether you can have that big E experience without building up an intensely awesome set of meditative-related mental skills first? I doubt it.
Big E experience - what's that? How can you now know what is that? Is that even possible. So look honestly - right here - you know its not possible, but you keep having this image of Big E alive. It's false. False image.
I can't believe that thousands and thousands of years of monks experimenting with this would have missed the short-cut and instead took the long option of meditating for 10 hours a day if that were a possibility.
Some were taking that option, yes. Like Ramana Maharshi, for example. Again, this I am not sure why for some thousands of hours on the bank of the river needed to enter the stream and for some - they just jump in. It's not a choice anyways, it's what is happening. So what is happening for you is what is, just notice and enjoy the unfolding.