Gregor,
I do not want to tell you that you are or are not going insane, or that it is a good or a bad thing, or that it is normal or abnormal. I really know almost nothing about Ingram's roadmaps or terminology. Frankly, the words people use on this forum confuse the hell out of me. I'm much more familiar with the Pali Canon terms and guidelines.
All I wish to do is share a little bit about what happened to me. Last year I had what some might consider a psychotic break. I don't personally consider it psychosis, but I imagine it could be considered as such or at least something like in that general area. To me, it quite literally felt like I was going insane, though at the time I did not think I was insane. At the time I thought I was perfectly in my right state of mind. It was only looking back that I realized holy s***.
It lasted 3 days and I consider myself fortunate to have not done anything terribly drastic during that time. I am also thoroughly thankful for the experience, despite the experience itself being one of the worst in my entire life, because it left me much better, dare I say completely new.
I would recommend to make sure that you have a strong foundation, especially a strong moral foundation, for your practice. With that, don't lose sight of the fact that your mind is just a mind. Pay attention to it and observe it, but know that you don't have to act on it even if it feels like there's something you have to do.
Looking back, I feel like my experience was like a purge or a cleansing. There was something inside that needed to be released and this experience was the experience of it escaping me. It was something I needed to work through and I imagine I could've continued to delay it for as long as I'd liked, but it would eventually need to occur.
All of this is to say be diligent in your practice, be wary of what you choose to do with your body and say with your mouth, and above all, keep your sangha or community of peers/teachers close. You're not alone and as long as you don't hurt yourself or anyone else, a little insanity might not be the worst thing in the world. Of course, don't go looking for it! Just follow the steps and the advice of your teachers and peers and never lose sight of the fact that everything that is not Nibbana is impermanent. Your emotional disconnect, your "dickish" attitude, your enjoyment or lackthereof, your alienation... it is all impermanent! Watch it moment by moment and you might notice that it's even in flux right now.
I wish you the best and I hope you stay safe! (also, if you know you're going crazy than you must not be insane!)
