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I don't get this part
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8/17/11 12:09 PM
Hi,

There's one thing that puzzles me while practicing the instructions from the AF site. It says to continuously cultivate the haietmoba investigation.

During the investigation into the social identity, he tells us to notice where things start to go bad and to get back to feeling happy again. So this is cultivating feeling good and eliminating feeling bad.

But once one gets to the level of the instinctual self, one is supposed to eliminate both the "good" and the "bad" feelings.

Why is this so?

What am I missing or misunderstanding?

RE: I don't get this part
Answer
8/17/11 2:07 PM as a reply to Simon L.
Hi Simon -
This might help. At least it was helpful to me with a similar confusion on trying to understand "felicity".

http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/1489461

Also of note is this regarding where to focus first (social vs. instincts):
This is how Peter described it in the ‘The Actualist’s Guide’ –
Peter: Once sufficient of this dismantling of one’s social identity has been done, it is then possible to begin to experience the instinctual passions deeply without acting on them – once the ‘lid is off’ then I can have a good look around inside – neither repressing nor expressing – and begin to experience ‘me’ at the very core of my being. The only way it is possible to undergo a significant change in life is by experiencing something deeply and understanding the experience fully. I don’t know about a map at this stage – it’s more like throwing away the water wings and snorkel, strapping on a scuba tank, plunging into one’s own psyche and rummaging around the bottom, looking under all the rocks in order to see what the bottom really looks like. Peter, An Actualist’s Guide


Take care
Ed

RE: I don't get this part
Answer
8/17/11 2:47 PM as a reply to ed c.
ed c:
Hi Simon -
This might help. At least it was helpful to me with a similar confusion on trying to understand "felicity".

http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/1489461

Also of note is this regarding where to focus first (social vs. instincts):
This is how Peter described it in the ‘The Actualist’s Guide’ –
Peter: Once sufficient of this dismantling of one’s social identity has been done, it is then possible to begin to experience the instinctual passions deeply without acting on them – once the ‘lid is off’ then I can have a good look around inside – neither repressing nor expressing – and begin to experience ‘me’ at the very core of my being. The only way it is possible to undergo a significant change in life is by experiencing something deeply and understanding the experience fully. I don’t know about a map at this stage – it’s more like throwing away the water wings and snorkel, strapping on a scuba tank, plunging into one’s own psyche and rummaging around the bottom, looking under all the rocks in order to see what the bottom really looks like. Peter, An Actualist’s Guide


Take care
Ed


Hi Ed,

This is highly useful. There is something to AF that makes perfect sense to those living it, but seems odd at times to those unfamiliar to it.

Today, I spent several moments in PCE, and it's this lack of feeling and pure perception that makes it pure pleasure. Without the feeling of pleasure.

My PCE like experiences seem to be very visually oriented though, and to a lesser degree the tactile sensations of my skin. But the first thing that usually happens is me getting a PCE from a sight.

I cannot imagine what it's like to live in the AF state permanently.

Although I've practiced AF for just a few weeks, I've learned about my functioning through noticing it happening for at least 10 years. Now it's just a matter of applying the AF perspective to it.

And it's scary. The more I get to this instinctual identity, the scarier it gets. Panic attacks are thrown up to steer me away from it. Keeping at it turns the panic into a good feeling though.

I'm guessing that there is going to be this intense phase, where one has to remain on course before getting anywhere close to AF.

It's flashes for now. Having the haietmoba as an almost constant awareness, triggers more and more actual freedom experiences.

And this is cool as long as it's "me" enjoying them.

But once I get deeper, the "me" acts up. It does not want to go.

Getting through the instinctual part is hard. Survival mechanism directed at one self.

Will keep going though.