I love fire kasina - first influence of field

Aaron Baron, modified 1 Year ago at 9/27/20 7:59 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 9/27/20 7:58 PM

I love fire kasina - first influence of field

Posts: 8 Join Date: 8/4/20 Recent Posts
I don't really have questions or advice, but this is the only place people will understand, so I wanted to share my exciting progress.

been doing Phone flashlight FK for a few months, tens of hours total. I love the immediate visual feedback for attention. It's like turning meditation from a boring attempt to sense vague energy to a fun video game. I've learned for example that "Eye access cues" (read about from Illuminatus blog) frequently take my attention briefly off my concentration object.

one thing about my experience that is context is that I never got a long lasting red dot. Rather, I get a bright, sharp edged glimmering blob that lasts for 2-5 minutes. Even with intense concentration, when it's gone it's gone. What I did get eventually is a purple dot that appears always now, in the center, when I close my eyes, even without an afterimage (so like a nimitta I'm keeping up). I can also see it in the dark with eyes open or against white walls if I stare. I can use this as a nimitta for concentration although initially it was quite unstable. To me what differs from the red dot is it doesn't appear to replace the flashlight kasina when that dissolves - it's there from the beginning at the center of the murk.

A bit of practice after that, I got a swirly purple dot wherever I directed my visual attention. Unstable, moving, but was super cool. I now notice that when I'm on the flashlight nimitta - the bright sharp pearlescent one - the swirling attention dot is around it. (So maybe this is my red dot - though it's not very stable).

ok, last bit of context, I enjoy seeing what shapes the flashlight nimitta reminds me of - different animals, and my favorite is when it makes a heart. (There are only so many roughly circular blob shapes- and a heart is one of them).

i was listening to some of the FK retreat audios, and decided to try summoning a color. I was able to make the purple, green, pink that I've seen before on the screen. They weren't that stable, and they only covered part of the screen, but it was clearly working. It's about imagining the color in a loose way while keeping concentration- so not quite using your minds eye, which for me breaks concentration, but sort of lightly off to the side.

so then I was like, well, it seems like the swirling purple attention dot responds a bit to my intention. What if I try to change it to a heart? And it worked!!! It was so cool I did it like 20 times. I was also able to make a square, triangle, rectangle. 

whats so special about this to me is that it's the first time I've moved from being a passive to active participant. Doing instead of watching. (Setting aside the degree to which concentration sort of is a doing). I'm not a visual imagination kind of person, I'm not artistic, I can't draw, so being able to literally see in front of my eyes with normal visual perception a shape I summoned was so cool! It was basically like doing magick. It makes me believe in the potential I've read to eventually create complex photorealistic images, 3d scenes, etc. and it means I'm not just zoning out watching my inner screen saver but building skills along a cool path.

anyway, a small thing compare to many of the experiences I've read about, but it meant a lot to me.

next up: relating to nimitta as a fairy, and with metta. And "repeat, repeat, repeat".

Here's a question- how important to building concentration towards jhana do you think it is to focus on a narrow part of the visual field (Illuminati "concentration muscle" practices)? I am able to control the location of the flashlight nimitta weakly with a lot more effort than passively attending to it. And my non-flashlight nimitta is fairly unstable and not only moves but is affected by the pulsations and changes of the murk behind it, unlike the flashlight nimitta which floats serenely on top as if it's a different visual layer. Is keeping it in one place important for deep concentration? Or focusing on a single part of the murk when there is no nimitta? Or is letting my attention drift to different swirls and pulses still deepening concentration, even though it isn't single-point?

my hope is to use this super fun practice to eventually get access to the conventional Jhanas, by putting in most of my hours doing something enjoyable, rather than forcing myself to do anapanasati. So I want to make sure I'm strengthening my concentration.

ok, long story, short punchline, I can now make hearts & squares appear with my mind and I think that's super cool.
Aaron Baron, modified 1 Year ago at 9/28/20 11:21 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 9/28/20 11:21 AM

RE: I love fire kasina - first influence of field

Posts: 8 Join Date: 8/4/20 Recent Posts
Couple questions occurred to me overnight 

how does this play with anapanasati for you? When I do it, even though I'm concentrating on the breathing point not visual field, I notice that as concentration develops, the murk develops similar to doing FK. Anyone tried a hybrid practice of keeping visual attention on nimitta while focusing most of awareness on anapanasati? What about "breathing in and out " of the kasina?

alternately, when your concentration is "powered up" during an fk retreat, are you able to quickly get a strong breath nimitta from switching to anapanasati and get into breath jhana that way?

i am loving the magickal idea of the nimitta as a fairy that I summon into my inner screen. I try to great it with love and welcome it every time it appears, and to ask it for what I'm hoping to get from the practice.

have you had the red dot, in a long session, grow to be a much larger blob, of a few different colors in rings, that looks very much like the breath nimitta that comes during anapanasati concentration sessions, but centered in the visual field around the red dot (whereas breath nimitta is usually off to the side)? I'm wondering if this is some kind of equivalent concentration nimitta. Or maybe just what my mind wants to create emoticon.