If you think you are stuck...

Simon L, modified 9 Years ago.

If you think you are stuck...

Posts: 214 Join Date: 8/17/11 Recent Posts
Hi,

I just had an experience that radically shifted my perception of what is possible.

I had gotten to a point where I felt stuck. A point where I thought that I could never overcome it. I've read about these situations on this forum from other people as well.

It took a few days, but the thing that I thought I would never get over, loosened up a bit. And then it became something I potentially could get over. And now that I'm writing this, it's something that will definitely go.

This didn't happen to be a pleasure thing, but on that topic...

I could easily be motivated to let go of fear, anxiety, etc.. The things I would want to get rid of. But pleasurable things? Sexual desire?

I could not see how I could both want to get rid of them, let alone get rid of them, period.

But I know that through the application of the AF method, it's actually possible.

Keep going at it, even if it is something you think you will never be able to get over. Go at it for weeks if you need to. Then look back and see that you overcame it.
Nad A., modified 9 Years ago.

RE: If you think you are stuck...

Posts: 237 Join Date: 8/26/10 Recent Posts
Simon L:
I could easily be motivated to let go of fear, anxiety, etc.. The things I would want to get rid of. But pleasurable things? Sexual desire?

I could not see how I could both want to get rid of them, let alone get rid of them, period.

But I know that through the application of the AF method, it's actually possible.


And how exactly do you know that?

Keep going at it, even if it is something you think you will never be able to get over. Go at it for weeks if you need to. Then look back and see that you overcame it.


Weeks? I've worked on some issues for three/four years and still no solution.
Simon L, modified 9 Years ago.

RE: If you think you are stuck...

Posts: 214 Join Date: 8/17/11 Recent Posts
Nad A.:
Simon L:
I could easily be motivated to let go of fear, anxiety, etc.. The things I would want to get rid of. But pleasurable things? Sexual desire?

I could not see how I could both want to get rid of them, let alone get rid of them, period.

But I know that through the application of the AF method, it's actually possible.


And how exactly do you know that?

Keep going at it, even if it is something you think you will never be able to get over. Go at it for weeks if you need to. Then look back and see that you overcame it.


Weeks? I've worked on some issues for three/four years and still no solution.


Nad, that means something isn't working. Could you be more specific?
Simon L, modified 9 Years ago.

RE: If you think you are stuck...

Posts: 214 Join Date: 8/17/11 Recent Posts
Also, what have you been doing while working with these issues? Maybe we can tweak things a bit.

So you've been applying the AF method for years? Or do you mean other methods?

Please let us know. I'm not an expert on AF (5 weeks into it), but have some skills. And many people on this board do have.

Allow help instead of venting frustration, ok?
Nad A., modified 9 Years ago.

RE: If you think you are stuck...

Posts: 237 Join Date: 8/26/10 Recent Posts
Simon L:
Also, what have you been doing while working with these issues? Maybe we can tweak things a bit.

So you've been applying the AF method for years? Or do you mean other methods?

Please let us know. I'm not an expert on AF (5 weeks into it), but have some skills. And many people on this board do have.

Allow help instead of venting frustration, ok?


Actualism for about 2 years, taking into account off-periods (started in 2007), CBT - cognitive behavioural therapy (virtually the same as actualism when it comes to social anxiety) for the equivalent of two years. Various other things for a year or two before those.

You've been practicing actualism for 5 weeks, so how do you know that it's possible to eliminate a passion like sexual desire?
Simon L, modified 9 Years ago.

RE: If you think you are stuck...

Posts: 214 Join Date: 8/17/11 Recent Posts
Nad A.:
Simon L:
Also, what have you been doing while working with these issues? Maybe we can tweak things a bit.

So you've been applying the AF method for years? Or do you mean other methods?

Please let us know. I'm not an expert on AF (5 weeks into it), but have some skills. And many people on this board do have.

Allow help instead of venting frustration, ok?


Actualism for about 2 years, taking into account off-periods (started in 2007), CBT - cognitive behavioural therapy (virtually the same as actualism when it comes to social anxiety) for the equivalent of two years. Various other things for a year or two before those.

You've been practicing actualism for 5 weeks, so how do you know that it's possible to eliminate a passion like sexual desire?


Cognitive BH I'm vey familiar with. 7 months, 4 days a week, 9 to 5. CBT all the time.

It does work, but on a different level than AF.

The off-periods are a sign. Some people take longer than others, but...

You (and this is my sense) have been AF too seriously. Have fun with it.

About sexual passion. Since you mention it, I'm going to make a small assumption.

You wouldn't have mentioned it if it weren't an issue for you.

Apply the AF method to the sexual desires. After all, having sex is not the ultimate goal in life.

It's about being the person who fits sex into their life perfectly.
Nad A., modified 9 Years ago.

RE: If you think you are stuck...

Posts: 237 Join Date: 8/26/10 Recent Posts
Simon L:


Cognitive BH I'm vey familiar with. 7 months, 4 days a week, 9 to 5. CBT all the time.

It does work, but on a different level than AF.

The off-periods are a sign. Some people take longer than others, but...

You (and this is my sense) have been AF too seriously. Have fun with it.

About sexual passion. Since you mention it, I'm going to make a small assumption.

You wouldn't have mentioned it if it weren't an issue for you.

Apply the AF method to the sexual desires. After all, having sex is not the ultimate goal in life.

It's about being the person who fits sex into their life perfectly.


I mentioned sexual desire because you mentioned it and it's one of the instinctual passions. It's quite a claim to say you know that actualism will lead to the elimination of it.

My turn with a small assumption. You don't know whether actualism will eliminate sexual desire, you just believe it.
Nad A., modified 9 Years ago.

RE: If you think you are stuck...

Posts: 237 Join Date: 8/26/10 Recent Posts
Simon L:
Hi,

I just had an experience that radically shifted my perception of what is possible.

I had gotten to a point where I felt stuck. A point where I thought that I could never overcome it. I've read about these situations on this forum from other people as well.

It took a few days, but the thing that I thought I would never get over, loosened up a bit. And then it became something I potentially could get over. And now that I'm writing this, it's something that will definitely go.

This didn't happen to be a pleasure thing, but on that topic...

I could easily be motivated to let go of fear, anxiety, etc.. The things I would want to get rid of. But pleasurable things? Sexual desire?

I could not see how I could both want to get rid of them, let alone get rid of them, period.

But I know that through the application of the AF method, it's actually possible.

Keep going at it, even if it is something you think you will never be able to get over. Go at it for weeks if you need to. Then look back and see that you overcame it.


I want to try having another go at my original reply, with my 'lack of sincerity' problem in mind:

When I read the title of this thread, I felt a little frustrated that here we have another new actualist with a lesson for us all, with the latest 'key to everything' realisation...

I was cynical about you saying that you now know that it's possible to get rid of a biologically-rooted instinctual passion like sexual desire.

I felt angry and frustrated when I read you saying 'weeks' as if to say 'it may even take weeks ...'.

I do want to encourage you to proceed with more scepticism and consideration as regards knowing that this 'actualism' stuff leads to the elimination of instinctual passions. Extraordinary claims require at least evidence or reason. Also to warn you that there may be issues that will make you look back on the post and think that 'weeks' was an understatement.

Other than that, I don't have much business on this thread. Sorry for venting here.

Now everybody pat me on the head and say that's better, good boy.
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Harry Potter, modified 9 Years ago.

RE: If you think you are stuck...

Posts: 84 Join Date: 5/20/11 Recent Posts
I very much agree with this. Often, this "newcomer enthusiasm" makes me frustrated/cynical as well. I would encourage newcomers to read up on Actualist Calenture first. There is a reason why posts like this don't get enough eye balls. :-)
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Beoman Claudiu Dragon Emu Fire Golem, modified 9 Years ago.

RE: If you think you are stuck...

Posts: 2198 Join Date: 10/27/10 Recent Posts
i think it's great. someone has seen the method works, at a pace far faster than what they would have imagined, delighting in the hood of a car more than they've delighted at anything in recent times... so they see no reason to be sad or morose or cynical. and that's a great attitude to have! i wish i could always have that attitude, when i am feeling stuck myself.
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Harry Potter, modified 9 Years ago.

RE: If you think you are stuck...

Posts: 84 Join Date: 5/20/11 Recent Posts
I don't mean to discourage Simon by that response of mine, and if I did, apologies! I much prefer that anyone derives the maximum benefit out of actualism, but at the same time, I don't want any of these practitioners to do the same mistake (actualist calenture) I did when I started.

Remember that kid, Adam, who left the forums for this reason?
Simon L, modified 9 Years ago.

RE: If you think you are stuck...

Posts: 214 Join Date: 8/17/11 Recent Posts
Hi all,

It seems the intended tone of my post has been misread. I simply wanted to share something based on personal experience, hoping that it would be useful for others.