no such thing as a bad meditation

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carolin varley, modified 12 Years ago at 8/28/11 2:45 PM
Created 12 Years ago at 8/28/11 2:45 PM

no such thing as a bad meditation

Posts: 55 Join Date: 8/26/10 Recent Posts
I have been noting for a few months now and have been finding it really difficult. It seems like my noting would lag too far behind the actual sensation and while I tried to keep up with everything (thoughts, feelings and sensations) my thoughts would trip over themselves telling me that I wasn't doing it quickly enough, that I was distracted, and that I should stop thinking. VERY HELPFUL! >emoticon
I kept telling myself that I clearly couldn't handle noting thoughts without getting sucked into them, so I should stick to observing feelings and sensations but ofcourse its not so easy to stop looking at the big pink elephant in a sequin bikini in the middle of the room.
Then today I was sitting there pushing through my noting practice, feeling pretty miserable and like I wasn't getting anywhere because my mind was foggy and full of annoying voices I didnt want to be having when this thought struck me, "maybe this is it!"- maybe this stubborn foggy layer of thoughts and guilt and telling myself I am doing something wrong is what I have been meant to be noticing all along. And I know I have read it over and over before but I think I realised it for myself today. I'm not saying it was easy after that, but it got alot easier because I didnt have this constant negative feedback loop, this feeling of constantly doing something wrong, because every time there was a thought (pretty much continuously) and then there was an emotional response, it would turn into a positive feeling, or at least one of more open curiosity, when I just kept repeating to myself "this is it-there is nothing wrong with this thought-this is not ruining my meditation because this IS my meditation, my object.
I'm not an advanced meditator at all but I think this is a pretty common begginers obstacle for most people who are relatively new to this like me.
Hope it helps.
Stian Gudmundsen Høiland, modified 12 Years ago at 8/28/11 4:02 PM
Created 12 Years ago at 8/28/11 4:02 PM

RE: no such thing as a bad meditation

Posts: 296 Join Date: 9/5/10 Recent Posts
Yay! Good for you. Sounds just like what I had.

carolin varley:

this thought struck me, "maybe this is it!"- maybe this stubborn foggy layer of thoughts and guilt and telling myself I am doing something wrong is what I have been meant to be noticing all along. And I know I have read it over and over before but I think I realised it for myself today.

(...)

"this is it-there is nothing wrong with this thought-this is not ruining my meditation because this IS my meditation


You just dis-embedded/zoomed out from that foggy layer of thoughts and emotions.

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