Scary experience as a beginner

Jannis Brinkmeier, modified 1 Month ago.

Scary experience as a beginner

Post: 1 Join Date: 1/18/21 Recent Posts
Hello friends!

I'm not a very advanced meditator, since a few months I meditate for about 1,5h hours a day, but just concentration practice TMI-style (I'm around stage 3 oder 4 by now, dont make too much progess because of difficult life circumstances).
Nonetheless I had a (few) experiences that remind me a lot of some of the events described in MCTB, which I read almost completely.
During the last weeks I sometimes had some energy phenomena during my meditation - energy rushing through my body, often controllable and sometimes pretty intense euphoria (sounds like the description of A&P in the book, but is that possible since I didnt do any formal insight practice?). Other than that, I'm just struggling with getting good concentration. 

But a few times during everyday life activities, I had strange and also scary experiences. It was pretty similar every time. The first time was on a day with my family, when I felt my mindfullness was pretty strong that day. I sat on the dinner table with my family and I felt like something big was going to happen and my sight shifted rapidly to the left (or at least it felt like that) without my eyes moving. It was similar to a TV camera falling to the side, if you know what I mean. I felt like I was losing my grip on reality and I was so startled by it that I tried to push it away and think of something else. And it worked. The whole thing lasted maybe for half a second and nobody noticed, but I was and still am pretty concerned by it. The last week I had that same thing happen again as I was talking with two close friends about death, spirituality and so on. It was an intense conversation and as I was looking on the table I felt like my sight was not continuos, but made out of small grains that built up my picture of reality. Then the feeling kicked in again, I was startled by it again and I pushed it away again. But somehow I got a "closer look" this time and felt that I just could not let go to the feeling, which is the reason I cant get past it. It seems like I fear a big change that could happen. But that could also be just my imagination giving that event that notion in hindsight.


I would appreciate any thoughts and tips how to handle this. 
Do you think it is even meditation-related? Is it something common? How should I react, should I try to provoke it or avoid it?


Sending love to you all.
Jannis
thumbnail
Oatmilk, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: Scary experience as a beginner

Posts: 81 Join Date: 7/30/20 Recent Posts
Don't worry - A&P events are common around your stage + don't be concerned about the stuff you'll experience in meditation, some of it is scary but it cannot harm you.