Sam's Practice Log #3

Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/1/21 4:31 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 1/26/21 1:43 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 1/26/21 3:30 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Tim Farrington 1/27/21 5:09 AM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Papa Che Dusko 1/27/21 12:07 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 1/29/21 3:58 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Tim Farrington 1/30/21 4:20 AM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 1/30/21 10:58 AM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 1/30/21 12:18 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Papa Che Dusko 1/30/21 2:09 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/1/21 12:40 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 George S 2/1/21 3:14 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Olivier S 2/1/21 3:29 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Olivier S 2/1/21 4:08 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/1/21 6:04 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Olivier S 2/1/21 6:43 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Siavash ' 2/1/21 4:22 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/2/21 1:24 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Tim Farrington 2/3/21 2:38 AM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/3/21 11:28 AM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Olivier S 2/3/21 5:38 AM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/3/21 11:37 AM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Olivier S 2/3/21 11:42 AM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/5/21 12:43 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Tim Farrington 2/5/21 3:05 AM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Chris M 2/9/21 12:20 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Brandon Whited 2/9/21 12:26 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Papa Che Dusko 2/9/21 12:49 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Siavash ' 2/9/21 1:46 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/10/21 10:55 AM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Olivier S 2/10/21 12:30 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/13/21 11:16 AM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Tim Farrington 2/19/21 1:55 AM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/19/21 12:10 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/20/21 12:34 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/21/21 12:52 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/21/21 2:23 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Brandon Whited 2/21/21 11:49 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/22/21 11:05 AM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/22/21 5:49 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/22/21 5:55 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/26/21 11:20 AM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/26/21 2:25 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/26/21 3:47 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/27/21 11:34 AM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 2/27/21 3:11 PM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Chris M 2/28/21 8:15 AM
RE: Sam's Practice Log #3 Sam Gentile 3/1/21 11:21 AM
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 4:31 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 1/26/21 1:39 PM

Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
I learned and experienced a lot during Log #2. At the begining, I offered some information on my history and methods:
  1.  first practice log,
HISTORY
A lot of my practice history both pre-DhO and DhO learning about noting can be found here. I talk about nothing happening for 7 years. Most of it was Tibetan under Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche. Since I joined DhO and switched back to Vipassana, mainly at-loud Mahasi style noing and the addition of my teacher, I entered the path at Dukka Nana 9 Desire for Deliverance, passed through Reobservation and now am in Low-EQ.

MY DAILY PRACTICE
My daily practice consists of 40 minutes in the AM (10 minutes concentration/jhana and 30 minutes Mashai Noting) and 40 minutes a night
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 1/26/21 1:43 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 1/26/21 1:43 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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10 min Concentration / 30 min Noting AM Sit #1

10 min Concentration / 30 min Noting AM Sit<br /><br />This new Liferay hs my posts not in order but scattered. I put a lot of effort into only replying to the top post.<br /><br />Concentration practice was very good but had a lot of Log thoughts Still got to 10 on a majority of breath counts. When I started Noting, I realzed the I had 2 of the Factors of Enlightenment - Energy and Calm. The calm kept my noting relaxed and consistent. I stayed like this for most of the sit until I hit the hinderance of Boredom. I applied the factors of Energy and Faith. I had some Gut Excitement too.

​​​​​​​New log. New practice? I'm meeting with Abre today on  my disatisfaction with my current.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 1/26/21 3:30 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 1/26/21 3:30 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Met with Abre over my unhappiness at seemingly lack of progress in practice. She said that there was a lot of "I" in my statements. I have no connection to the seven factors. I have doubt over noting. I  have not progressed. Lots of I statemenets.

She encouraged me to use the 2nd Factor oif Awakening - Investigation of Dhammas to look into this sense of I and my mind. I will see if I investigate "I have not progressed". that that is mind. Its not me,not Mine, just a phenomenon. That in those moments the I is solid instead of normaal and open. Also in the Goldtein Chapter on the 2nd factor, mind types are described and I have an adversive type - everything is always wrong - a negative type.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 1/27/21 5:09 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 1/27/21 5:09 AM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 2464 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Posts
hi sam,

Congratulations on starting log #3! It says a lot about your determination and persistence in practice, and this seems like an auspicious moment to reaffirm your commitment to the meditative path, in light of all your recent challenges. Faith, indeed.

Honestly, I find it hard to say much of anything, beyond wanting to know more about how you are doing with your Parkinson's diagnosis, and with the recent medical expenses leaving you, last I heard, without any money to buy food. Can you give us an update on your situation? What kind of support are you getting? How can we help?
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 1/27/21 11:32 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 1/27/21 11:32 AM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Tim Farrington
hi sam,

Congratulations on starting log #3! It says a lot about your determination and persistence in practice, and this seems like an auspicious moment to reaffirm your commitment to the meditative path, in light of all your recent challenges. Faith, indeed.

Honestly, I find it hard to say much of anything, beyond wanting to know more about how you are doing with your Parkinson's diagnosis, and with the recent medical expenses leaving you, last I heard, without any money to buy food. Can you give us an update on your situation? What kind of support are you getting? How can we help?
---

Thanks for the kinnd words on the practice. The Parkinson's is getting worse. I currently have food until the end of the week but no money. I tried both sides of the family without sucess. I have a friend who I am going to talk to Friday about money. Money is best way anyone can help.
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Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 1/27/21 12:07 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 1/27/21 12:07 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Sorry to hear about your troubles Sam! Im in a jobless situation again and with this new wave of COVID in Denmark I dont think it will be easy to find anything just now. Money wise Im dry and also our baby is on the way in about two months. I wish I was in situation to help out but Im not. I hope you sort this situation soon, so you dont need to stress about it.
Best wishes your way!
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 1/27/21 12:26 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 1/27/21 12:26 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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10 min Concentration / 30 min Noting AM Sit

Concentration was very good. Most of noting wasn't very good. I had very little Energy. Very little Concentration. I founnd it difficult to note objects. I just kept thinking my financial worry thoughts. Everything was fuzzy. I could not muster enough Energy to make out a sensation. Then with ten minutes left, it's as if a switch was flipped and I had lots of Energy all of a sudden and noted from there.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 1/27/21 2:34 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 1/27/21 2:34 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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10 min Concentration / 30 min Noting PM Sit #2

Concentration practice was very good. For noting, the Awkening Factors like Energy, Concentration, Mindfulness but it was a battle of hinderances. I had strong Desire all throughout. I had Restlessness to which I applied the factor of Calm. Didn't help much. And then there was the Boredom. Time seemed to be going in reverse. I just wanted the sit to end but it seemed to drag on.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 1/28/21 4:52 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 1/28/21 3:16 AM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Sam
"Thanks for the kind words on the practice. The Parkinson's is getting worse. I currently have food until the end of the week but no money. I tried both sides of the family without sucess. I have a friend who I am going to talk to Friday about money. Money is best way anyone can help."

Sam, with the Messages function here on DhO apparently not working, you might want to put your PayPal information up here, to make it easier for anyone who wants to help with the money. Are you taking steps to seek any kind of social services support?

I really am impressed with your determination and persistence in your meditation practice right now. I can only imagine how overwhelming your simplest life concerns can feel at the moment, and that you are plugging away faithfully is a beautiful and inspiring thing to me. Is Abre aware of your PD condition? You said it is "getting worse"--- what are the symptoms at this point? There is quite a bit of literature out there on mindfulness meditation as a big plus in living with Parkinson's --- this article has several links, and is at least a toe in the water--- 
How Mindfulness Meditation Helps Parkinson's - Brian Grant Foundation

I would be very interested in your sense of living with the disease in your meditations, whether you are making any specific adjustments in attitude or technique, or any other thoughts on the interface of your "dharma life" and your basic human situation. Awakening to the human reality of disease was one of the things that set Gautama on the meditative path in the first place; and here you are, right at the crunch point where the meditation meets the dukkha. I'm grateful that you're sharing your practice logs here, and hoping with all my heart that you find refuge and support in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the sangha, and that your faith in the path proves to be a sustaining blessing. Your courage is an inspiration.

​​​​​​​love, tim
 
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 1/29/21 1:00 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 1/29/21 1:00 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Tim Farrington
Sam
"Thanks for the kind words on the practice. The Parkinson's is getting worse. I currently have food until the end of the week but no money. I tried both sides of the family without sucess. I have a friend who I am going to talk to Friday about money. Money is best way anyone can help."

Tim, you hvae a beautiful heart with this post.

Sam, with the Messages function here on DhO apparently not working, you might want to put your PayPal information up here, to make it easier for anyone who wants to help with the money. Are you taking steps to seek any kind of social services support?
Good idea. My PayPal is  my email mscoree42@gmail.com



I really am impressed with your determination and persistence in your meditation practice right now. I can only imagine how overwhelming your simplest life concerns can feel at the moment, and that you are plugging away faithfully is a beautiful and inspiring thing to me. Is Abre aware of your PD condition? You said it is "getting worse"--- what are the symptoms at this point? There is quite a bit of literature out there on mindfulness meditation as a big plus in living with Parkinson's --- this article has several links, and is at least a toe in the water--- 
How Mindfulness Meditation Helps Parkinson's - Brian Grant Foundation
Yes, Abre is aware of my condition. The symptoms at this point are unbalanced walking, tremors, body parts moving, unable to write - all shaking. Thank you for the poiintter!

I would be very interested in your sense of living with the disease in your meditations, whether you are making any specific adjustments in attitude or technique, or any other thoughts on the interface of your "dharma life" and your basic human situation. Awakening to the human reality of disease was one of the things that set Gautama on the meditative path in the first place; and here you are, right at the crunch point where the meditation meets the dukkha. I'm grateful that you're sharing your practice logs here, and hoping with all my heart that you find refuge and support in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the sangha, and that your faith in the path proves to be a sustaining blessing. Your courage is an inspiration.

Some days my practice suffers because I don't even get out of bed. Other times I doubt the practice but lately my faith has been rising where I am practicing and reading a lot of dharma books


​​​​​​​love, tim
Tim you have a golden heart. This post and you uplifted me!
​​​​​​​

 
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 1/29/21 12:51 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 1/29/21 12:51 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
10 minutes Concentration / 30 Min Noting AM Sit

My first attempt at Cocentration because a good friend was texting me and there were some loud drilling  next door. Once I did Concentration for real, it was excellent. I got to 10 on most of breath counts. At the begining of my noting practice I noticed that the Awakening Factors of Calm, Concentration, Energy were present. Early in the meditation, I had a gratitude period for Tim and all thne DhO members who had taken interest in Parkinsons and helped finacially. I  had a lot of periods of Restlessness to which I applied the Awakening Factor of Calm. This happened multiple times. On the Visual front. I saw bright white light, aalmost in the shape of a circle. The other thing I noted is I experienced a number of sensations that could be the Parkinsons like feet tapping, trembling, body movements.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 1/29/21 3:58 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 1/29/21 3:58 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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10 min  Concentration / 30 min Noting PM Sit #2

Concentration was excellent with making almost all breath counts to 10. I am wonderig what does it take to go from here to achieving access concentration? The first thing I noticed when noting was the loud wind howling at 45 mph. I noticed I had a lot of Energy factor, but a lot of Restlessness to which I applied the Calm awakening factor. I noticed the Parkinson's symptoms - trembling, feet movement, confusion and innability to take notes in my journal. I heard a plane -> Gone.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 1/30/21 4:20 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 1/30/21 4:20 AM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 2464 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Posts
Wonderful sits, and I had to laugh that the first thing you noted after the concentration was the howling wind, lol. I live near some train tracks, and I often have the same experience, of realizating a train has been going by for some time, or even not noticing the train from the noise, but from the sudden silence after it is gone. From that, it seems like your concentration has got real momentum, and it ain't broke, you're doing it just right. Noting the Parkinson's symptoms fascinates me, and anything you share along those lines would be welcome. I know Linda/polly explores what seems like similar neurological/physical territory with her Tourette's symptoms, which she talks about in her log at times. Finding the noting balance with involuntary physical movements, tics, trembling, is crucial to all meditation practice, and in your case I would imagine it will be on one of the front burners while you are making your peace with it. 

​​​​​​​Hang in there, brother.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 1/30/21 10:58 AM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Thanks Brother for that and all your support
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 1/30/21 12:18 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 1/30/21 12:18 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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10 min Concentration / 30 min Noting Am Sit

The concentration meditaion was almost excellent except I had Log thoughts of telling you, that after hearig interviews with Tina Rasmusan, and Stev Synder, I started reading thie Practicing the Jhanas. I don't feel I'm ready  for the Jhanas but one thing they emphasixed was concentration is hard and it takes lots of time, like long retreats. I'm going to ask Abre, but what do you think: should I increase my concentration time at least from 10 minutes to 20? Which should I emphasize at this point: Concentration or Noting?

The Noting practice begin with my noting of the Awakening Factor of Calm that was strongly preesent. But before long, I felt the Parkinson's symptoms - legs tapping, tremors, confusion. This caused Restlessnessness but I had plenty of the Calm factor to apply. It was pretty much like that for the rest of the sit.

This afternoon, I begin a year long Advanced Buddhist Studies course with the first 4 months on theSatipathana Sutta based on Joseph Goldstein's excellent book Mindfulness. Great timing with my practice and the Factors.
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Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 1/30/21 2:09 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Concentration or Noting? I dont know emoticon 

You have Abre as teacher and you follow so many different teachers and you also pick up on stuff here on DhO emoticon Im not sure I could do that as it would confuse the heck out of me emoticon I need to set out with one technique and stick with it for a long while. Changing too much will only sqeez out the energy and even intruduce doubt.

Concentration is more pleasant/healing. Noting can be turbulent/destabilising. 

Considering your health you must be the judge. What can you take and how much can you take? 

Would it be a good idea to spend next 6 months only doing Jhana practice or just Shamatha Calm-abiding. You still need applied thought in such practice so not to go off into La-la Land instead of one-pointed meditating on the object of choice. 
Take time to choose the object you feel might be of most interest to you. Is breathing boring, well, what about Fire Kasina or just any Kasina of your choice? Mantra is another good concentration based meditation. 

Be sure to ask yourself what you really need right now emoticon 

If you choose to do Jhana/Concentration do allow for some adjustment time to happen as this Noting is strong with you and is in motion on its own emoticon Right emoticon 
So take this into consideration if you start Jhana practice as Noting will tend to happen on tis own but dont follow it, just return again and again to your concentration object (breathing, Kasina, mantra ... ).
It will take some time to get more away from the Noting-habit and more into Absorption-solidifying habit emoticon Give it time instead of getting frustrated with this transition.

What ever you choose best wishes to you Sam!  
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 1/30/21 3:17 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 1/30/21 3:17 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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20 min Concentration / Contemplation of Body Parts Sit #2

Just finished my first 2 hour class on Satipathana Sutta. To add to earlier, e did 20 min of Concentration meditation combined with Body Parts Meditation.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 12:40 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 12:40 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
10 min Concentration / 30 minute Noting AM Sit

I'd first like to thank the half dozen members of this community who supporrted me with  grocery money and other needed things. Some said things like my log and practice inspired them. I don't know about that but I'm very, very grateful. This is a wonderful community. I was all alone before meeting Daniel and joining this community. Now I really feel part of something.

For today's concentration, it was nearly excellent. The only thing I noticed is that I sometimes force the breath because I don't think I'm feeling it. Reading Tina Rasmusan and Steve Synder's Practing the Jhanas taught me about the Anapanasatti Spot in the middle of the nostrils and let myself feel the the breath over this spot. Helpful.

The noting was very good today. I had the factors of Calm, Energy, Concentration and Energy. I entered the meditation feeling Calm. We're in the middle of a two-day Npr'easter blizzard so I heard the snow tuned to sleet coming down and the winds. Once again, the Parkinson's symptoms - foot tapping, tremors, body jerks - started and I got a little Restlessness, to which I applied Calm to. I then stayed in a state of Calm for most of the rest of the meditation. The other thing to mention is I did a Gratitude meditation for the DhO community and my gifts.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 2:45 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 2:45 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
10 min Concentration / 30 min Notin PM Sit #2

Oh my God! I don't know what I just experienced! I will need help unpacking this as I have never experienced anything like this in 8 years of meditation

The Concentration practice was excellent, focused on the A Spot in the nostrils and then wham! There's this big ensation there like its exxpanded twice the size and twice as much air is coming in. What was that?

It gets better. I was very Calm/Relaxxed when I entered Noting. I was getting tingles all over, my mind felt very clear and light. I begun to feel like I was floating. It went deeper. I started to gget goosebumps as waves of energy, joy went through my arms and legs. I've never felt like this. Did I experience Rapture? I think so.
George S, modified 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 3:14 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 3:13 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Payday! Congratulations Sam!

Now the thing is not to get attached to it ... easier said than done I know emoticon
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Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 3:28 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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As long you are doing Noting of matter of fact arisings be it huge bombastic or tiny weeney you will not get attached even if you find this to be pleasant. The same way we let the ugly horrible dark stuff arise with all the acceptance so do we also let this pleasant arise with all the acceptance.

Let joy be joy and misery be misery. Let it all be as IS emoticon 

Its all good in here emoticon Good man Sam! 
Olivier S, modified 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 3:29 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 3:29 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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I would not worry about this, follow the interest, let this work its healing magic - who gets attached to jhanas ?

For me they usually show up at a time where they will be beneficial. enjoy.

It also means concentration is getting stronger ...
George S, modified 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 3:46 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 3:45 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Olivier
who gets attached to jhanas ?

​​​​​​​anyone who is not an arahant!
Olivier S, modified 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 3:47 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Well I think it's the least of sam's worries.
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Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 4:02 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Im not an aragh... arahgant....arh...damn it!!! And I dont give a flying rats ars about jhanas emoticon Come jhana, come itch, come full blown re-obs come EQ, it all is what it is!
Dont fear misery , dont fear pleasure. Two sides of the same coin. Both sides disappear if you look at the coin from its thin side. So what is that same coin now? 

Also gotta get attached to know what that does emoticon What do we do when we fall off the horse? emoticon 
Olivier S, modified 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 4:08 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 4:07 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Yeah, and these are healing states, the buddha encouraged their cultivation, as do all mystical traditions of all religions, - as for myself, when I started getting experiences such as what sam describes, that was a great time in my life when my practice was really getting a foothold, it contributed to making my daily life so joyful and easy and light, and it led to meditation really taking off by helping to cultivate the factors of awakening, which is also something that harder concentration states do, on top of being great fuel for practicing enthusiastically with engagement, so... good !
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 6:04 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 6:03 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Olivier
Yeah, and these are healing states, the buddha encouraged their cultivation, as do all mystical traditions of all religions, - as for myself, when I started getting experiences such as what sam describes, that was a great time in my life when my practice was really getting a foothold, it contributed to making my daily life so joyful and easy and light, and it led to meditation really taking off by helping to cultivate the factors of awakening, which is also something that harder concentration states do, on top of being great fuel for practicing enthusiastically with engagement, so... good !

That's a great description because that's what I feel, that my practice will take off from here. BTW, is it also an awakening experice? Not THE big awakening, but a small awakening?
Olivier S, modified 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 6:43 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 6:15 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Hey sam, depends on what we mean by awakening... 

In terms of theory, - don't let the naming kill the vitality of the experiences by putting a label on it though ... - it's something you've kind of already been going through, basically a version of the A&P with more concentration and absorption and joy, which modalizes consciousness to a rapturous state which is called... second jhana ! etc....

It means that concentration, tranquility, joy, are all starting to shine on their own - that's very nice emoticon

I sometimes see this as a fire that starts to burn on its own, and for a while that's how I used to think of the cultivation of the factors of awakening. If you get the right balance and right intensity meditation becomes a bit like a fire burning which takes you along for a ride...
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Siavash ', modified 3 Years ago at 2/1/21 4:22 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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 Great development Sam emoticon
Your efforts and consistence start to bare fruits. 
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/2/21 1:24 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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10 min Concentration / 30 m in Noting AM Sit

The day begin with a nice 2 hour conversation with  my long-distance girlfriend Staci over 2 cups of coffee watching the foot of snow on the trees.

The Concentration practice dipped from excellent to very good, trying to keep focus on the Anapansatti Spot but I just had too much energy from the 2 coffees.

The Noting practice was all about Restlessness. Too much energy. I thought to myself "Does coffee make my Parkinson's symptoms worse?" because I had 30 minutes of feet tapping and twitching. tremors, hands moving by themselves, etc.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/2/21 2:50 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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10 min Concentration / 30 min Noting PM Sit #2

Not quite PM but I wanted to do another sit now that my energy has evened out. This concentration meditation was back to excellent. The only thing I got to remember is not force the breath but let it be felt naturally at the Anapnanassati Spot. I had Calm going for me when I entered the Noting practice. I didn't have the wild Parkinson's symptoms from earlier. It was mostly a Calm sit with steady at-loud noting. Near the end I got a little bored, so I applied energy and Faith.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 2/3/21 2:38 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/3/21 2:37 AM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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This is nice on a larger scale, to have ridden through a big rapture experience and not made any of the usual mistakes of getting caught up with that in various ways, like (usually the most obvious one) trying to replicate it at the expense of what is actually going on now. So on your path, it was a BIG noting, "rapture!" and then the practice goes on. So the sit here characterized largely by calm and steadiness is perfect. You were low and grinding for a while, and got here, near the center line of steady unheroic practice, then you went high and effortless for a while, and again came here, near the centerline of calm and steady practice. That works the "muscle" of trust in the process, and gives you more of that capacity for overview, for perspective, knowing you've ridden through some extremes of meditative weather, and been able to simply keep practicing with faith and persistence and trust. Beautiful.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/3/21 11:28 AM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Tim Farrington
This is nice on a larger scale, to have ridden through a big rapture experience and not made any of the usual mistakes of getting caught up with that in various ways, like (usually the most obvious one) trying to replicate it at the expense of what is actually going on now. So on your path, it was a BIG noting, "rapture!" and then the practice goes on. So the sit here characterized largely by calm and steadiness is perfect. You were low and grinding for a while, and got here, near the center line of steady unheroic practice, then you went high and effortless for a while, and again came here, near the centerline of calm and steady practice. That works the "muscle" of trust in the process, and gives you more of that capacity for overview, for perspective, knowing you've ridden through some extremes of meditative weather, and been able to simply keep practicing with faith and persistence and trust. Beautiful.

Thank you so much Tim. I haven't got caught up in it. Yes it was like noting a big "rapture" amd going on. And on the heels of a wek ago, saying that my practice didn't work.
Olivier S, modified 3 Years ago at 2/3/21 5:38 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/3/21 5:37 AM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Sam, would you say there is a connection between the feelings of love, gratitude and sense of belonging you mentioned, and the more rapturous kind of experience you reported there ?
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/3/21 11:37 AM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Olivier
Sam, would you say there is a connection between the feelings of love, gratitude and sense of belonging you mentioned, and the more rapturous kind of experience you reported there ?

Olivier, not sure I understand the questioon. Can you pleease restate?
Olivier S, modified 3 Years ago at 2/3/21 11:42 AM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Can you identify some of the causes and conditions which converged to produce that new level of piti ? IME, feelings of love, of comfort, of gratitude, etc., wholesome states of mind, combined with a regular meditation practice which cultivates both concentration and discernment, will give rise to such states more reliably. That's kind of buddhism 101 actually emoticon lol
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/3/21 2:03 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/3/21 2:02 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Olivier
Can you identify some of the causes and conditions which converged to produce that new level of piti ? IME, feelings of love, of comfort, of gratitude, etc., wholesome states of mind, combined with a regular meditation practice which cultivates both concentration and discernment, will give rise to such states more reliably. That's kind of buddhism 101 actually emoticon lol

Sure, one of the biggest causes was learning to breath correctly at the anapanassati spot, just below the nostrils and not inside the nostrils. Another was the addition of gratitude practice. Another was calm.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/3/21 12:42 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/3/21 12:40 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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10 min Concentration / 30 min noting AM Sit

Concentration practice was excellent. Ever since I learned to focus my breath on the Anapanasatti Spot it has been more focused and stronger. I had some tingling. I am going to ask Abre if I can dd 10 min to Concentration and decrease Noting by 10 because I am really getting results and good concentration leads to good noting. As I went into Noting, I was Calm and a feeling of Happiness. That calm lasted a long time but eventually a got a small amount of Reslessnessness to which I appliked Relaxation/Calm to. In the the midst of more calm, I did a Gratitude practice for all the fornnuate things I have like my life, this community and more. I then had Desire for a 2nd cup of coffee with Staci which I am doing now as I write this. I also comtemplated Faith in my practice.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/3/21 4:27 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/3/21 4:24 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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10 min Concentration / 30 min Noting PM Sit #2

I was going to skip this session because I am way overcaffeninated. I had 2 coffees with my girlfriend Stacy but then I had a HUGE Popeye's Sweety Tea. I decided to do it as an experriment on my Parkinson's.

The concentration practice suffered a bit because of log thoughts and getting lost in my counts. With my noting practice, there was complete shaking, trembling, innability to sit still, fingers involuntarily playing with themselves. In other words, proof that very high amounts of caffiene bring on  my Parkinson 's symptoms stronger.  Now I'm going to be up all night studying Buddhist texts too emoticon The only good point was the high speed noting 3x. From now on, only 2 cups of coffee.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/4/21 12:36 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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20 min  Concentration / 20 min Noting AM Sit

I upped my Concentration to 20 minutes because Concentration is where it's at for me. I haven't got permission from Abre yet but I did it. The concentration was rocky at first and then got more settled. The noting was Calm and consistent noting with some Desire for a 2nd cup of coffee which I'm having now with my girlfriend Staci. There were a few bumps of minor Restlessness but not much.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/4/21 2:32 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting PM Sit #2

20 min Concentration because that's where it's at for me now emoticon. Concentration was excellent but didn't reach access concentration. I went into Noting where it was characterized by intense Desire for Popeyes Chicken. I forgot how to work skillfully with Desire so I literally argued with my mind on how I should not do it, back and forth. And its a good thing in the end because I had used the money for groceries and there was nothing for Popeyes. I also had a lot of wandering mind.
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Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 2/5/21 2:16 AM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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As you keep mentioning that Popeyes I had to google it! 

emoticon fried in oil emoticon 

emoticon as you are supporting me stopping with my nicotine habit so am I supporting you staying away from that nasty stuff emoticon 

Popeyes 0-1 Groceries. Well done! 

I would choose organic coffee over that fried in oil stuff anytime! emoticon 
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/5/21 12:43 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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You're right Papa Che. I don't eat it often. I do prefer organic Bulletproof coffee. I'm having two cups with Staci right now. And I do spend most of my money on groceries. Its their Sweet Tea I like to stay up.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 2/5/21 3:05 AM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Papa Che, in the American south, where pretty much everything except grits and pie is fried in oil, Popeye's chicken is da bomm, very addictive. Sam, you're hero of sanity and budget discipline. Keep fighting the good fight, on the mat and off.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/5/21 12:28 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Yes and thanks Tim
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/5/21 2:03 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting Sit

To start the day, I had a really good 2 and 1/2 hour conversation with my girlfriend Staci over 2 cups of organic Bulletproof coffee. We always talk for hours about  Awakening and interesting topics. Even though she is not Buddhist and doesn't even meditate, she is an Energy Healer and in touch with things.

When I sat down to do my Concentrationn practice, I found that I was distracted by Log thoughts about Staci! Lasting 20 minutess, I would estimate I hit about 60% of my count to 10 breath counts. Then there was noting. Explosive Energy! I was noting so fast I overwhelmed myself. However, I stayed mostly Calm. I did have one period where I felt it ran over into Restlessness but I countered that by deep brething/Calm.

I am really looking forward to meeting with Abre tomorrow. This is the first time we will get to talk about my Rapture/Jhana Level 2 experience and what she thinks and talking about ll things Concentration.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/5/21 4:13 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting PM Sit #2

OMG! It's happened again. I had a potential Jhana1 experience. The start to my concentration had been filled with discursive thoughts. As I concentrated deeper, I remember the moment. All of sudden thoughts dropped while at the same time sense perceptions dropped. It's like I stepped into an acoustical chamber. I totally relaxed into Bliss. This when on unttil the stupid timer interrupted it to signify time for noting. But I couldn't note. I was getting waves of bliss, while my body felt light. Just pure Joy, no worrries.

I am going to have to tell Abre this tomorrow!
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/7/21 4:26 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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I just met with Abre and with expertise and going over the experience in detail (plus another one yesterday) she believes it was a strong Arising & Passing event. My description focused on explosive words, like the nstrils suddenly getting twice as big. Then the intensity of the rapture, the bliss, the feeling that this was it. She took me through the Access To Insight description for A&P line for line and I totally match. I now have an unshakable faith.

It was also based on I had another experience yesterday:
OMG! It's happened again. I had a potential Jhana1 experience. The start to my concentration had been filled with discursive thoughts. As I concentrated deeper, I remember the moment. All of sudden thoughts dropped while at the same time sense perceptions dropped. It's like I stepped into an acoustical chamber. I totally relaxed into Bliss. This when on unttil the stupid timer interrupted it to signify time for noting. But I couldn't note. I was getting waves of bliss, while my body felt light. Just pure Joy, no worrries.

She said not to get attached to it for that would lead too a corruption of insight,
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/6/21 1:07 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting Sit

Cocentration was excellent. Its all so easy and effortless now. Calm was there as I entered noting. Fast but no strong effort needed. All I can say about the noting was that I stayed in a period of Calm the whole sit.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/6/21 3:35 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting PM Sit #2

Concentration practice was excellent, so easy and effortless since the A&P, I hit almost 100% of my breath counts. Noting, I was noting very fast, 3x rate. I had a brief instance of floating. Mostly I dwelled in the Happiness I've had since the A&P. Some minor Parkinson's trembling
Martin, modified 3 Years ago at 2/6/21 5:13 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Sounds great. I'm glad to see your diligence bearing fruit!  
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/7/21 12:02 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Martin
Sounds great. I'm glad to see your diligence bearing fruit!  


Thanks Martin. Its been 8 years to get to this pont!! I'm so happy!
Martin, modified 3 Years ago at 2/8/21 9:33 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Sam Gentile:
Thanks Martin. Its been 8 years to get to this pont!! I'm so happy!


Took me 15. You are pretty swift :-)
Martin, modified 3 Years ago at 2/6/21 5:12 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Sounds great. I'm glad to see you getting some calm, joy, and bliss! Diligence pays off, it seems.  
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/7/21 1:09 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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20 min Concentration / 20 min Notiing Sit

Happy Super Bowl Sunday! The concentration practice was very good and seems to be growing each day. I would say I hit 90% of my breath counts. The only thing I noticed were some Log thoughts related to Linda asking about why Abre considered Stream Entry. Noting was super fast. There  was a strong desire for a 2nd cup of coffee. There was also a little bit of Restlessness but there was this Happiness present since the A&P event. Nothing is the same anymore. I always want to meditate. I want to shout it from the rooftops about meditation. 
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/8/21 12:09 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting AM Sit

Concentration practice was excellent, hitting about 95% of my breath counts, easy and effortless. Noting was notable for a tremendous amount of itching and scracthing. I had Desire for 2nd cup of coffee. I had thoughts of sharing my A&P experience with my therapist later this afternoon with whom I have not met with in about a month. I had some Restlessness but ever since my A&P, I have what I call Unshakable Faith. I doubted nefore. This is the first I really have unshakable faith, that I am on the path to awakening.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/8/21 3:52 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting PM Sit #2

And so it continues...As I was concentrating,a fee;ing of relaxation came all over the body, the breath slowed down, tingles started and my mind was peaceful.

For noting, I was pervaded by Calm. Since the A&P happened six days ago, this sense of happiness has never left or this unshakable faith. It's like I want to shout it from the rooftops. I am not the same person I was before. Since the A&P, I have3 gotten up, started writing, started doing things like cleaning my apartment, personal hygenene that I hadn't done in a month.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/9/21 11:59 AM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting Sit

First it was Parkinson's. Now its a diagnosis of Anemia, but they're sending me to a cancer center. It knocked me off my recent high from the A&P.

So the Concentration practice was average as I worried. The noting was filled with fears and worries but I was able to use mu Unshakable Faith to pull it back it inline. 
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Chris M, modified 3 Years ago at 2/9/21 12:20 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Oh no, Sam!

​​​​​​​My thoughts are with you - take care of yourself, okay?
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/9/21 12:49 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/9/21 12:48 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Chris Marti
Oh no, Sam!

​​​​​​​My thoughts are with you - take care of yourself, okay?

Chris, thank you for your thoughts. I have a good update. I have verified its not cancer. Its just that most Hemotologists/Oncologists work at Cancer Centers. But it is Anemia.
Brandon Whited, modified 3 Years ago at 2/9/21 12:26 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Congratulations Sam!

That is fuckin kickass.

Hope you're alright...

I'll be posting everyday on my on log. Sorry I gave it up that time agol
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Papa Che Dusko, modified 3 Years ago at 2/9/21 12:49 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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I hope those doctors get their heads right before they give out diagnosis just like that! Best wishes Sam! I hope its some minor issue which can be fixed with diet and vitamin-minerals!
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Siavash ', modified 3 Years ago at 2/9/21 1:46 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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 Hey Sam,
I wish for you to have equanimity in the face of health problems.
These meat bodies are destined to age and get sick, and they do their best to keep us running.
Your consistence in practice has resulted in higher concentration and joy, and I hope you not forget that and continue your efforts.
 
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/10/21 10:55 AM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Siavash
 Hey Sam,
I wish for you to have equanimity in the face of health problems.
These meat bodies are destined to age and get sick, and they do their best to keep us running.
Your consistence in practice has resulted in higher concentration and joy, and I hope you not forget that and continue your efforts.
 
Siavash and Papa Che,

Thanks for your words of support. Thanks for the wish of equuanamity. Yes, my consistency in my practice has created this great situationd now that i have tasted the real thing with the A&P and generated Unshakeable Faith, I will certainly continue my efforts Siavash.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/9/21 2:45 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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I need some help guys again for groceries. My PayPal is mscoree42@gmail.com. A friend who was going to help me today wasn't able to.

20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting PM Sit #2

Concentration was somewhat back to normal. I woould say very good. Noting started with throbbing headaches, then with feelings of disapointment at my friend who couldn't help me with groceries today. I applied Calm but overcome with the hinderance of Anxiety, Fear over this Anemia. I feel like I am been finally knocked off my pedestal of the A&P but I brought up Unshakeable Faith. I have that. The high I was on was impermanent so I then focused on Letting Go of the clinging to the A&P and the after effects.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/10/21 11:55 AM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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I wanted to thank the DhO members that contributed to my groceries. I was able to get them.

​​​​​​​Question of the Day: Since the A&P is waning, am I headed for the Dukka Nanas, the Dark Night? 

20 min Concentration / 20 Minute Noting Am Sit

Concentration was excellent, hitting about 100% of my breath counts, easy and effortless, For the Noting practice it was prevaded by Calm and Happiness. I noted well and consistently. Noted some transient throbbing small headaches. Had the hinderance of Desire for another cup of coffee. Brief periods of restlessness met with Calm and Faith.
Olivier S, modified 3 Years ago at 2/10/21 12:30 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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We'll see what happens, but if you were getting to equanimity before, this is not your first a&p, just a particularly intense version with lots of concentration and all. 

Note that the a&p is the vipassana version of the second jhana, so this might just have been a form of the a&p with much more concentration, and jhanic factors, which gave you that wow and faith inducing experience, much more remarkable than your standard meditation , which is charachteristic of the shamatha jhanas.

That's my theory anyways emoticon

​​​​​​​So maybe not DN, just pre-SE cycling.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/10/21 1:03 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Olivier
We'll see what happens, but if you were getting to equanimity before, this is not your first a&p, just a particularly intense version with lots of concentration and all. 

Note that the a&p is the vipassana version of the second jhana, so this might just have been a form of the a&p with much more concentration, and jhanic factors, which gave you that wow and faith inducing experience, much more remarkable than your standard meditation , which is charachteristic of the shamatha jhanas.

That's my theory anyways emoticon

​​​​​​​So maybe not DN, just pre-SE cycling.

Everything sounds right that you said. 
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/10/21 2:23 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting

Concentration continues to grow. Hit almost 100% of my breath counts. Still easy and effortless.

Noting  was characterized by mostly Calm. I did have Desire. I was lucky to catch my girlfriend Staci in her car on the way to Vermont so I pleasent thoughts about that. I did hear the sound of a truck backing up and I also heard garbage trucks making a racket. Not much to report  but maybe that's good.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/12/21 12:24 PM
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RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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So, yesterday I worried about the start of the Dark Night because I couldn't get myself to meditate and stayed in bed all day. This is totally silly as all meditators have such days and I was likely catching up on my sleep.

20 min Concentration, 20 min Noting Sit

Concentration was excellent. I would say I hit about 95% of my breath counts as there was some little bits of thinking. Easy and effortless.

My noting practice was Calm but I had all these strange little transient headaches, too short for me to note the arising and passing using Shizen Youung's Gone technique I use. Pretty quiet on the Hinderance front - I had Desire for a 2nd cup of coffee and a few instances of Restlessness where I applied Relaxation - Deep Breathing and Unshakable Faith.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/12/21 2:11 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/12/21 2:11 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting PM Sit #2

This time the Concentration practice was not easy and effortless. There was one spot in the back middle of the head that my mind seemed to want to listen to, instead of the breath. So I had to work at it to get some concentration. Noting practice I had some of my Parkinson's symptoms like trembling, and foot tapping. I remained Calm. Once again, I had a bunch of transient headaches. I heard the sounds of a truck backing up followed by the sounds of the truck being unloaded. I had Desire. I had some Restlessness to which I applied Deep Breaths/Calm to.

Note: The next 2 days I will be in semi-retreat getting my Pointing Out Instructions from Lama Lena
Olivier S, modified 3 Years ago at 2/12/21 2:39 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/12/21 2:37 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 872 Join Date: 4/27/19 Recent Posts
(see you tomorrow sam !)
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/13/21 11:16 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/13/21 11:15 AM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
Wow! You're taking this too?  Awesome. I'll look for you. I've been trying to get the Pointing Out Instructions from Mingyur Rinpoche for years but he only does them in person
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 2/13/21 4:40 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/13/21 4:38 AM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 2464 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Posts
Applying Unshakable Faith!
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/13/21 11:18 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/13/21 11:17 AM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Tim Farrington
Applying Unshakable Faith!


Yes!
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/13/21 4:32 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/13/21 4:31 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
Pointing Out Instructions

D
ont know if I was supposed to be looking for my mind or nature of mind but I didn't find it

20 min Concentration / 20 Min Noting PM Sit

The Concentration practice was very good, easy and  effortless. I'm not quite sure what happened during my Noting practice. I had violently shaking knees, Trembling, Muscle Jerks. Whether this is the the start of my Dark Night Nana 5 Disolution or whether it was Parkiinsons stuff i have no idea. I applied Unshakable Faith to get through it.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/15/21 12:25 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/15/21 12:24 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting Sit

Note before I log the sit. I need to ask Abre about if I have passed into tghe Dark Night. From the highes of myy intense A&P, I have sunk into an almost depression, sleeping a lot and not wanting to practice. I quote Damiel from MCTB 
"Once we have crossed the Arising & Passing Away", we shall enter insight stages 5-10 regardless of whether we want to not. It doesn't matter if we practice from this point on; once we cross the A&P, we are in the Dark Night to some degree." Of course, I will prfesent Olivier's theories as well.

Anyway, Concentration was exellent, hitting about 95% of my breath counts easy and effortless. When I entered Noting, I was struck by a strange sensation - it was like a frequency in my ears, a stuffing, a feeling of being underwater. This persisted for a while along with some spacy feelings. I had Desire for a 2nd cup of coffee. I had some Restlessness which I applied Calm to it.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/15/21 2:20 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/15/21 2:18 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting Sit #2

I am definetly in the Dark Night, the Dukka Nanas. From the profound, deep, intense joy of the A&P, i have come crashing down into depresion and not wanting to do anything. I looked up Nana 5 Disolution in Ron Crouch's Aloha Dharma and I am a good match for Disolution.

Concentration was not easy and effortless. Time felt like it was taking an eternity. Didn't want to do it. In Noting, I experienced Restlessness, to which I applied Calm. BUt that sinking feeling was there all the time. It tuned into a strong boredom where I just wanted the sit to end. Wanted just get up. I also had Sloth and Torpor.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/16/21 1:05 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/16/21 1:03 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
I just met with Abre. I will no longer be sharing the private details of our meetings but only the conclusions. Yes, Abre verified I am in the Dark Night in Dukka Nana 5 Disolution with a little bit of 6 Fear thrown in. She said to focus on  the Vanishings in Disolution
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L J, modified 3 Years ago at 2/16/21 1:36 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/16/21 1:35 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Great news Sam! You've been working so hard for so long now so it is great to see you plowing through these nanas! emoticon Wishing you the best man
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/16/21 1:53 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/16/21 1:51 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Louis Joel
Great news Sam! You've been working so hard for so long now so it is great to see you plowing through these nanas! emoticon Wishing you the best man

Thank you. I'm plowing through those Nanas becasue I had a monster A+P with lots of rapture and bliss. Did you read about it?
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/16/21 2:00 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/16/21 2:00 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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20 min  Concentration / 20 min Noting

Abre told me Concentration was going to be tougher now and it sure was today. Real rocky. Two times I declared Boredom even though I was not noting. Using self-inquiry that Abre also taught me today, I asked "Who's Bored?" In that brief search for the self, I had a momentarty glimpse of emptiness and of course you can't be bored when you're looking for the self. In the Noting practice, I used that same technique a few times. I also noted Vanishings of phenomena.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/18/21 12:20 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/18/21 12:19 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting

Been down in demps lately - slept all day yesterday and missed meditations but you wouldn't know it from todays meditations. Its a whole new day! The Concentration practice was excellent with about 95% of my breath counts hitting. Today, I can sat easy and effortless. The noting practice started with Calm. It pretty much stayed that way. I noted the disolutions, the ceasings with Shizen Young's Gone technique, I had Desire for a 2nd cup of coffee. At one point in the meditation, the mind felt like it cleared and became light. Then I begun to experience a stillness. This lasted a few minutes.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/18/21 2:45 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/18/21 2:43 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Afternoon Study
Mahayana Meditation and Emptiness wih Mingyur Rinpoche

20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting PM Sit #2
Totally screwed up my Concentration practice with a whole bunch of negative self-criticism thoughts for diagnosing someone's experienece as an A&P on another topic "Who the fuck are you to diagnose this", "You don't have enough experience", "What if I gave me incorrect information". This was totally unncecessary. It continued into my noting practice a bit but most of my noting was Calm with some trembling.
Martin, modified 3 Years ago at 2/18/21 4:40 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/18/21 4:38 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Sam Gentile Afternoon Study Mahayana Meditation and Emptiness wih Mingyur Rinpoche 20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting PM Sit #2 Totally screwed up my Concentration practice with a whole bunch of negative self-criticism thoughts for diagnosing someone's experienece as an A&P on another topic "Who the fuck are you to diagnose this", "You don't have enough experience", "What if I gave me incorrect information". This was totally unncecessary. It continued into my noting practice a bit but most of my noting was Calm with some trembling.


It didn't sound to me like you were diagnosing anyone, just saying what it sounded like, which was what it absolutely sounded like. And you were up-front about your own level. On my first attempt to reach out in this forum, I asked a question and nobody answered at all. That was discouraging. Somebody asked a question. You answered. That was kind. I'd suggest a pat on the back instead of self-criticism.
Nav, modified 3 Years ago at 2/18/21 6:06 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/18/21 6:05 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 59 Join Date: 8/10/20 Recent Posts
Great log Sam, your consistency is remarkable. And great to see the ups and downs of the meditative journey captured so well. 
Nav, modified 3 Years ago at 2/18/21 6:07 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/18/21 6:06 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 59 Join Date: 8/10/20 Recent Posts
Great log Sam, your consistency is remarkable. And great to see the ups and downs of the meditative journey captured so well. 
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 2/19/21 1:55 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/19/21 1:53 AM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 2464 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Posts
Sam: Totally screwed up my Concentration practice with a whole bunch of negative self-criticism thoughts for diagnosing someone's experienece as an A&P on another topic "Who the fuck are you to diagnose this", "You don't have enough experience", "What if I gave me incorrect information". This was totally unncecessary. It continued into my noting practice a bit but most of my noting was Calm with some trembling.

Martin: It didn't sound to me like you were diagnosing anyone, just saying what it sounded like, which was what it absolutely sounded like. And you were up-front about your own level. On my first attempt to reach out in this forum, I asked a question and nobody answered at all. That was discouraging. Somebody asked a question. You answered. That was kind. I'd suggest a pat on the back instead of self-criticism.

Sam, I'm with Martin on this one, all the way. This forum was conceived as a place for people at every stage of the path, and from every path, to offer peer feedback, dialogue, support, and insight. That guy is a really private person taking a big leap to share his life experience for the first time like that, and he explicitly talked about taking refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the sangha--- with emphasis on this sangha, in context. And you were the first one to welcome him to the sangha, and to offer your perspective. To me that is beautiful, and again, what Martin said: "I'd suggest a pat on the back instead of self-criticism."

Martin's story about his first question going unanswered, and the discouragement of that, is also something to keep in mind here. It takes guts to put yourself out there for someone at all, and especially for a new person in all their vulnerability, who feels way out on a limb to start with. Your good will, your attention, your own example of steady practice through every weather--- these come with whatever you offer. Don't sell yourself short here.

Besides, lol, DhO being the kind of place it is, there is a certain self-qualifying nature to the feedback here. If you said something someone thought was way off base, that someone would probably say something. And then someone else would say something about that. If the issue was tricky enough, by the end of it we might all be confused, lol. So take your shots,  with the best you have to give, and let the chips fall and get sorted out through dependent origination, or whatever other systemic balancing factors come into play.

Also, for what it's worth, I think your feedback to him was probably right on. Until the intergalactic Buddhas taking avataric form as cave yogis with internet access in the Himalayas start checking in here, we all just have to do the best we can from where we're at, in humility and camaraderie and in the constant awareness of general samsaric uncertainly and the value of our own two cents' worth. Your two cents in this case were great, and across the board, your two cents are a valuable part of this community. We're all working with our pennies, lol. That's the economy here, on DhO.
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Niels Lyngsø, modified 3 Years ago at 2/19/21 7:13 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/19/21 7:11 AM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 413 Join Date: 11/15/19 Recent Posts
+ 1 to what Martin said.

​​​​​​​Great to see you are doing good now, you have really been working hard. Great also that you seem to be in the hands of a competent teacher. Congrats! Keep up the good work emoticon
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/19/21 12:10 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/19/21 12:09 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Niels Lyngsø
+ 1 to what Martin said.

​​​​​​​Great to see you are doing good now, you have really been working hard. Great also that you seem to be in the hands of a competent teacher. Congrats! Keep up the good work emoticon

Niels! I haven't heard from you in like a year! Its good to see you're still reading. Yes, I have worked very hard and now gettinng results. Thanks!
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/19/21 1:23 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/19/21 1:21 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
20 min Concentration, 20 min Noting Sit

Concentration was excellent. I hit 95% of my breath counts. Easy and Efffortless.

I can't explain what happened in my Noting. I am supposed to be/was in DUkka Nana 5/6 and feeling it. Todays experience is like I vaulted through the Dukka Nanas to somewhere. I started out Calm but I started to pleasent energy flow through my body (not rapture), but this strong feeling of joy flowing. There was happiness, the mind was light, and I experienced Clear Knowing. Pleasent energy flow continues. What happened?
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/19/21 2:05 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/19/21 2:01 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Just this one time I'll share Abre's explanation:
GREAT, you're doing well. You can be on the nana side of the scale where things can be a bit rougher, or you can be on the jhanic side where things are smoother and feel good. This is why I say not to prescribe by expecting anything to be  a particular way.

Continue meditating, you are doing great.

Here is an extract from Leigh Brasington:

Once you’ve found the pleasant sensation, you fully shift your attention to it. If you can do that, the sensation will begin to grow in intensity; it will become stronger. This will not happen in a linear way. At first, nothing happens. Then it’ll grow a little bit and then hang out and grow a little bit more. And then eventually, it will suddenly take off and take you into what is obviously an altered state of consciousness.
In this altered state of consciousness, you will be overcome with rapture, euphoria, ecstasy, delight. These are all English words that are used to translate the Pali word piti. Perhaps the best English word for piti is “glee.” Piti is a primarily physical sensation that sweeps you powerfully into an altered state. But piti is not solely physical; as the suttas say, “On account of the presence of piti, there is mental exhilaration.” In addition to the physical energy and mental exhilaration, the piti will be accompanied by an emotional sensation of joy and happiness. The Pali word for this joy/happiness is sukha, the opposite of dukkha (pain, suffering). And if you can remain undistractedly focused on this experience of piti and sukha, that is the first jhana.
https://www.lionsroar.com/entering-the-jhanas/
So put your attention on the pleasantness of the experience -- without clinging to it, let it go when it goes. However this will deepen the experience.
And no need to get hung up into gaining absolute clarity as to where you are, as I have recommended. After stream entry you will have the ease to do that. Right now, just take what you get with gratitude and keep doing your practice.
You're doing great, Sam!
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Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/20/21 12:34 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/20/21 12:32 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting Sit

Concentration was just OK because I kept wondering why was the time moving so slowly.

Noting there was no piti or sukka this time. Basically every body part had a pain including some transient headaches. I had Desire for a 2nd cup of coffee since I was up all night. Most of my time was spent noting aches and pains. I had some Restlessness. And I had Boredom to which I applied self inquiry "Who is Bored?" and look briefly for the self. I would a brief glimpse off emptiness and of course my  mind couldn't be bored while searching for the self.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/20/21 3:06 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/20/21 3:04 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting PM Sit #2

Concentration was much improved from my earlier sit with nearly 100% of my breath counts reaching 10. Easy and effortless.

Noting was better too with no desire or boredom. Just calm noting. I did this while my dryer was on so of course there was plenty to hear. In the Visual Field I saw a pulsating orange ball of light for about 10 seconds.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/21/21 12:52 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/21/21 12:51 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting

Concentrration was excellent with nearly 100% breath count. A weird thing happened. While I was somewhat concentrated I "heard" a clear, distict thought that said "You are the Christ." What the hell does that mean? Tim? I am a total Buddhist Agnostic who does not believe in Jesus at all.

Noting was pretty standard. I was calm for most of it with some nice energy but not not piti or sukka. I had Desire for a 2nd cup of coffee. I had some Boredom to which I applied the self-inquiry question "Who is bored?"
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/21/21 2:23 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/21/21 2:21 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
20 min Concentration, 20 min Noting

Concentration was excellent with hitting almost 100% of my breath counts to 10. Easy and effortless.

Noting was pleasent. I was  Calm and Energetic in a good way - not the restless energy but a nice energy. I also noted Alert and Mindful. The mindfulness was so strong that I could feel "inside" an itch for a short second or two. The Desire for Popeye's came again emoticon.
Brandon Whited, modified 3 Years ago at 2/21/21 11:49 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/21/21 11:47 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 55 Join Date: 6/8/20 Recent Posts
Hey Sam.

These breath counts to ten...

How do you do them?

You breathe in... breathe out... say 1 in your head... keep doing this until you hit 10... then repeat for 20 minutes..

And then you note for the 20 minutes?
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/22/21 11:05 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/22/21 11:03 AM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Yes exactly. 
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/22/21 4:01 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/22/21 3:59 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting

Concentration was excellent with almost 100 % breath count. Easy and effortless. Noting as Calm, not much to note except the Mind felt clear and light.
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Siavash ', modified 3 Years ago at 2/22/21 4:21 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/22/21 4:18 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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 Hi Sam,

Easy and effortless. Noting as Calm, not much to note except the Mind felt clear and light.

Maybe time to watch for subtle dullness that can develop because of hightened concentration? Culadasa has good points about that. 
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/22/21 5:49 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/22/21 5:47 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Yes, good pointt. I'll re-read that section again.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/22/21 5:55 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/22/21 5:52 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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With this Parkinson's and having to pay drivers to go to doctors, I am at that place  again where I need help for groceries. My PayPal account is mscoree42@gmail.com
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/23/21 12:44 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/23/21 12:42 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting Sit

Concentration was very good but a tad bit off, maybe 95%, as as I had several thought streams interruot and make me start the  count over.

Noting was charcterized by excellent Energy, and Mindfulness. I focused on noticing Ceasings. For every itch I could, I noted its ceasing and then Shinzen Young's Gone technique.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/23/21 2:48 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/23/21 2:46 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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40 minutes Steve Synder Inate Goodness Meditation

I signed up with the famous Concentration, Jhanic and now Heart Practices teacher Steve Synder. Unfornetly, I missed his Intro to Concentration practice yesterday. So today was a heart centered practice on Inate Goodness and I really struggle with both visualization and feeling my heart so I left at the 40 minute mark.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/24/21 4:19 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/24/21 4:14 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
20 min Concentration. 20 min Noting PM Sit

Didn't wake up until 4pm. What do I do? Have coffee anyway and meditate. That's dedication.

Concentration was excellent, hit almost 100% of my breath counts. Easy and effortless.

In Noting, I noticed how energetic I was. Fast noting. But a good kind of energy. I was very mindful too. Heard the sounds of a motorcycle and running water. I spent a lot of time watching for the disolutions, the ceasings, and used the Gone technque.

Note: I am doing 8 day Advanced Emptiness Retreat. Recently I asked for some money for groceries but a suprise gas bill came in. I need money to buy food for next week.  Paypal: mscoree42@gmail,com

​​​​​​​
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/25/21 11:49 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/25/21 11:47 AM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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I am not sure I am going to get to practice today as I have to go to a medical apointment (maybe later) but wanted to say that I am doing an IMS Advanced Retreat on Emptiness with Guy and Sally Armstrong. Personally, I find Guy's book on Emptiness to be 2nd best after Rob's book. It even covers emptiness from a variety of traditions. This will be 8 days Monday - Monday. This time, no DhO and no phone - I am going to turn off my phone. I have to get up early and long days but this should be incredible!
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/25/21 3:19 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/25/21 3:17 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting PM Sit

I got back  from my Hemotologist. I'm anemic but they can''t figure out whu. Anyway, the Concentration practice was excellent with rate of about 100% breath count to 10. Noting, I was plagued by the worst case of eyes burning and tearing as well as the node. Still I was able to be energetic and mindful watching for ceasings. Of course there were many itches and such that I observed their disolution/ceasing and noted gone. I had an experience of mindfully being "inside" one of my fingers. I could feel the itch from the front, feel it from the back. I observed the lifecycle of this sensation until it ceased.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/26/21 11:20 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/26/21 11:18 AM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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90 minutes Micheal Taft Nondual Inquiry Practice

I did this in the early morning hours lying down. The practice stared with a deep relaxation, removing tension. Then some Shamatha with an Object (breath). At this point I was pretty calm. Then he had us drop everything, all thoughts, breath and be jsut in awareness. Andit worked. There were very few thoughts. Then we asked inquiry questions of ourselves. Very nice practice. Since I've been spending some time with Micheal on YouTube it has helped my practice.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/26/21 12:09 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/26/21 12:07 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

Posts: 1310 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting Sit

Concentration was excellent with a breath rate about 95%. Easy and effortless.

The noting practice was a bit of a quandry. All I picked up today was subtle sensations, skin sensations, primarly iteches. This has been happening all week. Anyone know what's goning on? Abre said I am NOT in the Dark Night, that I was in the 3rd Jhanna. I had I Jhana exeperince last week. 
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/26/21 2:25 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/26/21 2:22 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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20 min Concentration / 20 min Noting Sit #2

Concentration was down a bit, maybe 90% breath count

Noting, the same thing happened. I'm only picking up subtle skin sensations. I remember being in a stage before.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/26/21 3:47 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/26/21 3:45 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Abre said Yep, 3rd Jhana. Things are happening at the periphery, skin level, surely the center of the body must be hollow (the donut effect). And itchiness is definnetly a sign of that.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/27/21 11:34 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/27/21 11:31 AM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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90 min Pointing Out/Drop Out of Your Mind with Micheal Taft Meditation

This was done at 3am. The simple instructions were to justs relax into being and anytime anything like thoughts came up, to drop out of your mind and back into being, It was interesting to note that, as I went along, that the thibking that came up was log thoughts. Thoughts of logging this on DhO, ego thoughts of showing I was a great meditator. Anyway, as I kept doing this, I was really relaxed and realized Pristine Stillness. It was beautifull. No thoughts, nothing but silence. Yet I also noticed the Awakenss. I realized that I was perceiving awareness that continues for all time and is timeless.
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 2/27/21 3:11 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/27/21 3:09 PM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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30 minutes Four Foundations of Mindfulness Meditation (class)

In my Intermediate Buddhist Studies class we did a 30 min Four Fondations meditation. I pretty much ended up noting
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Chris M, modified 3 Years ago at 2/28/21 8:15 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/28/21 8:15 AM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Sam, any chance you can help us out by making it easier to follow your log? Can you start a new version, please?
Sam Gentile, modified 3 Years ago at 3/1/21 11:21 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/1/21 11:18 AM

RE: Sam's Practice Log #3

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Sure

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