RE: Emptiness, S.E., A&P, Psychosis?? Help appreciated!!

John Self, modified 6 Days ago.

Emptiness, S.E., A&P, Psychosis?? Help appreciated!!

Posts: 6 Join Date: 2/18/21 Recent Posts
Hello everyone, I am seeking help with an experience I had two weeks ago.  I am a very private person so to make a post on a forum is incredibly rare for me.  That said, I have repeated “I take refuge in the Buddha. I take refuge in the dharma. I take refuge in the sangha.” several times during meditation the past 24 hours and decided it was time for me to honor that commitment and seek guidance from a community.  Please bear with me as I have always been plagued with verbosity.  If you want to skip to the “experience”, jump to the paragraph that starts with “As I bundled up…”

Ancient history: 42 year old male, raised a very strong Southern Baptist.  Tiny town in rural East Texas.  Nearest town you could buy alcohol was an hour away.  I was very devout and researched most major religions to aid in converting others up until my late 20s. At this time, my research had lead me to serious doubts and my faith began to slip.  Within 2 years (age 31) I had abandoned the Christian faith but considered myself more of an agnostic than an atheist.
Retired military – 8 years enlisted (aircraft mechanic), 8 years officer (pilot) (medically retired (100%) in 2015 after 16 years of service) Single father of 3 since 2010 – their mother was absent until last year. No history of drug or alcohol abuse until 2016 when I starting using pot (infrequently) to treat severe suicidal ideations, PTSD, GAD, and BPD. History of sexual trauma starting around age 7 until age 13. Countless dissociative episodes during this time but they mostly stopped in adulthood.  Have only had two or three in the past 25 years. Many years of weekly therapy, 16ish months of DBT (Dialectic Behavioral Training) with the VA, several medications… including anxiety/depression/sleep/nightmare.

Recent history:
In July 2020 I went through a very challenging event that really set me back.  Had been out of group and weekly therapy for a year and only keeping in touch with my therapist through monthly sessions.  I slipped and started smoking to cope.  I had quit smoking 3 years prior. Everything just seemed to be bubbling at the surface and I knew I was going to break if I didn’t do something.  I started meditating and practicing mindfulness (all part of DBT – I had no idea DBT was based on many Buddhist teachings) and researching alternative ways to quit smoking. 

After several videos/articles surfaced on psilocybin I was quite intrigued.  The only illicit substance I had ever used was pot and that was only recently in life… and medicinal.  In October, after 3 months of research, I decided to go for it.  I found A LOT of shrooms growing in the field behind my house just 200 feet from where I sleep.  I had them positively ID’ed, followed guidance on the shroomery website and the John’s Hopkins protocol as well as what felt like hundreds of hours of videos and articles.  Set, setting, intention, alone in the house, blindfolded, John’s Hopkins playlist running, diet, meditation, ingestion method, etc.  This was approached in a 100% medicinal/spiritual way.


Needless to say this was the most significant experience of my life and dramatically changed my reality.  Ego death, time dilation, and KNOWING we are all connected.  The whole shebang… including weeks of improved mental health in a variety of ways.  I was so thirsty for knowledge because despite the power of the experience… it left me with more questions than actual answers!  The one answer I did get… meditate.  Meditate daily, be mindful always, and seek out knowledge.


I also need to mention that I was able to titrate off ALL of my medications!  For the first time in 7 years I am off all mental health meds and for the first time in 11 years, I am off all sleeping meds!  This all happened in early October.  Fast forward to Christmas... I received a couple books from my son for Christmas, “The Unteathered Soul” by Michael Singer and “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle… neither of which I had heard of.  This is not my standard reading material.  I had just finished a small book called “A Drink Called Mindfulness” as it was recommended on Amazon and had started a book on listening.

The Unteathered Soul was amazing! This was the first I had ever heard of anything like this. I started searching and found tons of stuff from Alan Watts, Ram Dass, and others and couldnt get enough.  I decided to up my meditating to at least 1 hour straight (usually morning) with either 30 min of Yoga or another 30 min meditation in the afternoon.  I also started working on being mindful constantly… I’m a stay at home dad on disability so this is easier for me than most.  By constantly, I mean just that.  I have a bowl chime that sounds every 30 min and no matter what I’m doing, I stop and focus on my breath and do a body scan.  However, I am CONTSANTLY doing these things regardless of the time… the bell is just to help strengthen the practice.  I then started The Power of Now and after a week I decided to up my practice again.  I forgot to mention, I also always start my morning with 12 min of Wim Hoff breathing before I get out of bed… followed by the 30 min Silva mind control meditation.  Then I do single focus meditation on breathing for 30min… I am currently doing this for an hour… which is a total of 90-100 min first thing in the morning)


Well two weeks ago I slipped on smoking.  I don’t remember why or what it was but I thought, I just want one.  I won’t start again… blah blah blah… smokers will know the story all too well.  I also installed an old game back to my phone that I used to mindlessly play for YEARS.  I have wasted so much time on that dang game.  As frustrated as I was I decided, “Hell, lets pull out the damn weed vape and do a small amount to shave off a bit of this guilt.” So I did… nothing unusual.  I smoked a cig, played my game… fell back into that same damn cycle.  Back inside… 30 min later, ready to go out again.  

BTW, I stopped listening to music months ago and created several playlists on Spotify with different frequencies of binaural beats depending on what I’m doing.  Alpha waves for daily stuff, Theta for meditation, Delta for sleep.  I’m sure all of you are far beyond benefitting from something like this but it made a massive change in how quickly I was able to sleep as well as the quality of my meditation sessions early on.  At this time I had my Alpha playlist running…

As I bundled up to go out in the cold and light up… I felt so aware at that moment.  This was not unusual as pot tends to have that effect on me.  I’m able to think more clearly and like an adult.  Some of my best incites and turning points this past year have come while high. I don’t like that I use it and have quit several times but at this point it is a vice that I indulge in 1-2 times per week (weekends) and only on those evenings.  Not anything I do during the week.  That said, the biggest difference was due to my recent mindfulness practices… this wasn’t my normal level of awareness. 


As I sat outside and lit up I took that first drag and just looked at the cigarette… then my phone with the game open on it.  I was so intently aware of my own sensations, judgement, and behavioral addiction that I laughed at my own judgement… something I heard Eckhart Tolle say to do.  At that moment my mind just froze.  I was very aware of the sensations in my body but separate from them… and still thoughtless… without trying to be so.  Just empty if you will. I slowly turned my gaze to a bucket that was sitting next to me and immediately I knew (felt experience… not a thought) that I was one with this bucket.  It looked like going into warp speed on Star Wars… I was just pulled into it and then here was nothing but bright white light.  It was like we merged.  There was no thought… no frame of reference.  Just light and knowing.  I don’t know how much time passed but later in trying to reconstruct this it seemed like it was probably 5 min.


At this point I fell back in my chair and was now aware of my body again.  I felt like I was going to burst from within.  Eyes closed, nothing but bright white light, a feeling of oneness but then terror.  I started to think again… my vision returned slowly… but my body felt like I had these massive energy funnels blowing through me.  At this time I had never even heard the words “stream entry”, “emptiness experience”, or “arising and passing”, I just knew that what was happening to me, while different, was incredibly similar to what Tolle describes at the start of his book.  An “awakening.” The terror continued to grow now as thoughts of my daughter needing me grew.  I wasn’t ready for this.  I thought this was going to be years of meditation and something that could wait until she is out of the house. (She is my youngest at 15… the boys are in college)

I started resisting and told "myself", “I have to get inside and fight this!”.  So I got up, opened the door, then the light returned.  Again, I don’t know how much time passed but I know the entire process before I regained full consciousness was 15 min. I’m assuming this was 5-7 min.  What happened here I later realized could only be described as being born.  It looked just like what you see in movies from the perspective of a baby seeing light for the first time.  The bright light began to fade at the center of my vision and slowly worked its way out until my vision was restored.  I WAS conscious at this time but I distinctly remember not knowing what I was seeing.  I now know as I can clearly remember this but at that time I saw the deck outside, threshold of the doorway, carpet inside, I remember hearing those damn binaural beats… looked up and saw the door open and I was on my hands and knees. (Not laying flat as I would have expected).  HOWEVER, as all of these things came into view I distinctly remember not knowing what any of it was.  It was like seeing everything for the first time.  I was so “new” that I didn’t have any idea who or what I was. 

After what I later deduced must have been about 5-7 minutes, I was fully back.  I had fallen and hurt my knee… I could feel that much.  Despite having been outside in the 30 degree weather, I was ON FIRE! Started taking clothes off, knocked off my headphones, shut the door, and crawled onto my bedroom floor.  I laid there in fear and started meditating.  I haven’t allowed myself to attach to fear in months and so I began to question what it was I was afraid of.  “Who is afraid… and why?”  “Who am I?” Etc.  I then told myself this was exactly what I wanted… that I have to surrender to it… and was terrified I had rejected such a precious moment and wouldn’t be able to get it back.  I meditated for about 30 min and feelings of tremendous joy and peace overcame me.  That energy had lost some of its intensity, the light was gone, and the oneness was also diminished but enough remained that I was able to stay quite present and aware throughout.  I was able to get off the floor, grab my water and lay in bed while continuing to meditate. 

At one point I had a moment where I was laying on a bed in another bedroom.  It had wood panel walls, a ceiling fan was running and the lights were bright and like prismatic?  There were beads hanging over the doorway and it just had this sort of 70’s vibe to it. (At least from the movies I’ve seen.) I felt in that moment that I had “been here” before… both in the place I was looking as well as the place I was in experientially… as these thoughts pervaded my mind, my last moments of being the “watcher” was all gone.  The entire episode lasted anywhere from 45 min to an hour with the most intense part being maybe 15 min.  I was not in any one state the entire time.  This went from ego to awareness several times with I’d say it being a 65%-35% split… ego/awareness.  However, the first 15 min was pretty much all a unity/lack of consciousness/pure awareness type thing. Very hard to gauge though because there was no concept of time.  I was going off the last time I could remember looking at before it started and the first time I was conscious enough to look at the time.

The next day was insane.  I awoke thinking it was all gone.  I blew my shot.  My ego beat me into submission with it’s greatest weapon… my fears.  But when I meditated that morning… I felt so much energy still inside me!  I had a few moments when my mind wandered and I was able to immediately identify it and relate to why those thoughts were arising.  I began to focus on form and really understand the meaning of “we are all one”.  I ran to the gas station and saw a woman there and I immediately looked at her butt and judged her… and in that very moment I was aware I was judging form and a surge of brightness took over the room.  I began to feel that energy and started to weep in what felt like… peace, that is the best I think I could describe it.

Meditation continued to be intense over the following days. As did my overall outlook and the way I viewed the world and reality.  It wasn’t this obvious, permanent, shift but rather something I had to keep in mind… however, there were (and have been) many moments where I have these profound incites that just stop me in my tracks.  Like I’m unlearning this relative reality.  Also, I had A LOT of pain that would move throughout the day to different parts of my body.  One morning my calfs were killing me, the next it was my upper back (neither of which ever bother me).  There was a constant tightness in my chest and sometimes throat so after some research I started adding a 30 min kundalini meditation to my routine.  That was an incredibly intense experience that I’m glad my daughter didn’t walk in on.  I was shaking and crying (if you knew me, you’d know how that would freak out my daughter) and felt like I was going to burst with love. I went through the process of forgiving everyone I was ever angry with and sent love to each one of them by name.  Visualized the people I had always resented most and did nothing but think of their faces, say their names, and imagined sending every bit of love I had in me to them. After that day I haven’t done another kundalini meditation… no idea if that would be a good thing or not.


I stopped everything else I was doing with my life and started buying books on anything I thought might help… including D.M. Ingram’s book which lead me here.  I have now been meditating 3 hours a day and working on mindfulness so much that I wake up every night and have the profound moments of awareness… I think I am being aware of my body while I am dreaming?  This is the only thing that makes sense.  Instead of sleeping 9 hours a night I’m sleeping 4-5.  I’ve been happily single and celibate for the last 5 years with the exception of a 5 month, long distance, relationship that ended 2 years ago.  I’ve never had much of a sex drive but boy have I these past two weeks!!!  I have not acted on these urges other than self-pleasure… which is not a normal part of my routine. lol  I have since vowed to remain completely sexually pure.


Since this event, I have uninstalled all games, have not watched any TV/movies, and moved from a diet that was 50% fruits/nuts/veggies to one that is about 85% clean with only rare bits of meat or bread… quite easily I might add.  As of Sunday, I have eliminated the use of all intoxicants in accordance with the 5th precept. I have dedicated every minute of every day to my practice and my family.  Trying to follow the path, the 5 precepts, keep thoughts to either the teachings for present moment, and building Samadhi.  My only concern is that if this wasn’t a legitimate entry… that I may get “burned out”… though there is no sign of that yet.  Typing up this experience is the first thing I have done all week outside of practice/learn.


Anyways, I am so in need of some guidance.  What do you think I experienced?  Do you think I “screwed it up” by resisting so hard at first? What do you think would be a good starting point for me to focus on?  I’m currently on page 40 of MtCTotB (just got it) and I’m taking notes but I’m still unclear on “where” “my” experience landed me.  I know labels aren’t a good idea but it would still be nice to know where point A is before I start my journey to point B.
Thank you all so much for enduring my story and for any advice you may have!!

Namaste,
MySelf
Sam Gentile, modified 6 Days ago.

RE: Emptiness, S.E., A&P, Psychosis?? Help appreciated!!

Posts: 890 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
Hi, 
I have only gone to the level of two A&Ps amd Eqanamity so I can't give you any take on Stream Entry. Also there are way more experienced meditators that will answer this and help you.

t looked like going into warp speed on Star Wars… I was just pulled into it and then here was nothing but bright white light.  It was like we merged.  There was no thought… no frame of reference.  Just light and knowing.  I don’t know how much time passed but later in trying to reconstruct this it seemed like it was probably 5 min.

At this point I fell back in my chair and was now aware of my body again.  I felt like I was going to burst from within.  Eyes closed, nothing but bright white light, a feeling of oneness but then terror.  I started to think again… my vision returned slowly… but my body felt like I had these massive energy funnels blowing through me

This sounds to me like an intensse A&P with the classic presence of bright lights and massive energy funnels flowing. My A+P had energy funneling  thrugh in intense rapture. I' sure ypu'll get some better perspectives soon.
John Self, modified 6 Days ago.

RE: Emptiness, S.E., A&P, Psychosis?? Help appreciated!!

Posts: 6 Join Date: 2/18/21 Recent Posts
Thank you! I'll start digging in there and see what I need to be doing and looking for... at this point, all I've been doing is reading whatever I can find with no direction but I'm sure Daniel's book will help with that. Finishing up another book today then getting back in his.
Martin, modified 6 Days ago.

RE: Emptiness, S.E., A&P, Psychosis?? Help appreciated!!

Posts: 181 Join Date: 4/25/20 Recent Posts
Wow! Quite a ride.

I don't think it is possible to diagnose someone over the Internet but if you think it sounds like A&P you might want to check out this video by Daniel https://vimeo.com/317384445 on the A&P. I found it helpful. As for you having backed it off (resisting) that seems like a sensible thing to have done. I sure did in the A&P. Backing it off when it feels like you might be losing it is just healthy self-preservation, in my opinion. And if it was A&P, you can't lose anything by backing it off, as far I know. I've never heard of anyone being told that their A&P wasn't intense enough so they have to do it again, or anything like that, or that if someone jacks up their A&P to a high enough level that they get to skip the later stages. 

Keep in mind, though, that I am not an expert, just a player. So if someone who is an actual expert or teacher tells you something different, I'd go with their advice. 
John Self, modified 6 Days ago.

RE: Emptiness, S.E., A&P, Psychosis?? Help appreciated!!

Posts: 6 Join Date: 2/18/21 Recent Posts
Thanks Martin! I was unaware he had videos like that, watching them all! I'm excited because it opened my eyes enough to remove all doubt and has improved my focus and drive immensly! Meditating in dreams is wild man.

That said... Daniel sure knows how to take the wind out of your sails. lol

I printed his "7 Factors of Awakening" and have been studying that.  Then back to work on his book!  I'm glad I posted as now I am pretty certain of what it is I am experiencing and can move forward with the right mindset.
Martin, modified 6 Days ago.

RE: Emptiness, S.E., A&P, Psychosis?? Help appreciated!!

Posts: 181 Join Date: 4/25/20 Recent Posts
John Self That said... Daniel sure knows how to take the wind out of your sails. lol


Ha! Yeah, that's for sure. Not a guy to mince words.
Tim Farrington, modified 5 Days ago.

RE: Emptiness, S.E., A&P, Psychosis?? Help appreciated!! (Answer)

Posts: 2381 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Posts
hello, Major Self (forgive me if you made colonel, lol, I'm going by eight years an officer), and welcome to the sangha. May the refuge here be fruitful.

Wow, what a great damn story you've got. Thank you for sharing it with such lucidity and precision. It makes me feel more confident of the ground I'm walking on here. As does the large and varied amount of experience you bring to this, all that work, on so many levels. It bodes well for you keeping this plane from cratering, lol. (I love pilots.)

Anyways, I am so in need of some guidance.  What do you think I experienced? 

I'm glad you're already reading MCBT, and I suspect you already are leaning toward this angle, but for what it's worth, to me this sounds like a good old-fashioned classic mind-blowing cosmos-scrambling come-to-Jesus A&P experience, the kind of thing that knocked Saul off his horse outside of Damascus, the kind of thing that really gets us seriously committed to finding out what the hell THAT meant, and what THAT implies.  It's a fantastic gift by any name, and it sounds like you are handling it perfectly and taking it as a true spiritual call to do the work of the path. It's a taste and a glimpse and a conventional-reality buster, and with that conventional reality busted, you're getting right to work on seeing how these things work without the blinders. Your eagerness to get to imeditative work says everything. 

Do you think I “screwed it up” by resisting so hard at first?

Not at all, and in fact, I'm impressed by it. That your thoughts were so intent on the welfare of your daughter, and your responsibilites there, shows that you have the kind of fundamental ground in morality that the path requires, if it is not to turn out spiritual monsters. Also: trust your gut. We meet resistance all along the way, and work with it, and live with it, and what happens as we keep that tension up is that our minds and bodies are beginning to explore what it takes to live with what we're resisting. You're not ever going to blow it by resisting, but you can blow it by forcing past resistance, in a host of ways. Most of the best moments and breakthroughs happen as ripeness happens, effortlessly, and as a quiet surprise. This is truer, the farther you go. The early experiences are often the Biggest, maybe because that's what it takes to get our attention, I don't know. This doesn't mean you won't ever have the shit scared out of you, lol. But here you are, still going after disappearing into white light once, so you're already building trust and faith in whatever it is that disappears us or that we disappear into or whatever however etc.

What do you think would be a good starting point for me to focus on?  I’m currently on page 40 of MtCTotB (just got it) and I’m taking notes but I’m still unclear on “where” “my” experience landed me.  I know labels aren’t a good idea but it would still be nice to know where point A is before I start my journey to point B.

Well, you really already know this one, I think:

The one answer I did get… meditate.  Meditate daily, be mindful always, and seek out knowledge.

I'm betting that reading MCTB is going to help you get oriented, and ripple through your already strong practice in countless ways, and that you'll find a fresh balance as you incorporate new perspectives and techniques. You're already working hard, hard enough for me to suspect that right now the likeliest pitfall you'll find is getting in a hurry, trying to get ahead of yourself, over-pressuring. That experience of yours, and all those before it, are pure fuel, and your passion and your genuine pilgrim's mindset, are going to get it done, however you conceive it (and your conception will evolve, as you study and think, and practice, and digest). So festina lente, as the old monks said: hurry slowly, lol. You might want to start a practice log here on DhO, it's a good way to give some form to your basic commitment to practice, and also to keep you from having to wonder if you're insane next time that warp speed jump hits and the universe flings you into bodiless brightness. There are people here at LEAST as insane as you.

It's really cool that you showed up here, at such a potent point in your life, and I look forward to hearing more as you share your journey here. 
John Self, modified 5 Days ago.

RE: Emptiness, S.E., A&P, Psychosis?? Help appreciated!!

Posts: 6 Join Date: 2/18/21 Recent Posts
Tim,

I cant express how much I appreciate your response!

Honestly... I'm speechless at how thorough and thoughtful it was.

Very glad I posted! I'm not active on any social media because of how much stress I have after making even a one line, kind, non-controversial comment. I must admit that the past 24 hours that anxiety has visited me more than a few times and... I welcomed it as my friend and teacher.

After reading this... Im afraid my friend may not return for a time. emoticon Thanks again!
shargrol, modified 6 Days ago.

RE: Emptiness, S.E., A&P, Psychosis?? Help appreciated!!

Posts: 1485 Join Date: 2/8/16 Recent Posts
Good advice so far. 

Yes, this does seem like an A&P experience (Arising and Passing Away Nana) including an A&P event (the not-knowing event) and your fear experiences afterwards can be seen as touching on the Fear Nana.

But that's more of a technical/clinical type description. What you basically had is a spiritual opening that revealled how much anxiety and addiction have sort of split your psychological self (which is very normal, happens to everyone to some degree). The tension of sitting in the presence of the addiction pattern and infusing it with awareness allowed the identification with those patterns to.... well basically explode... and left you temporarily in a space where you were free of psychological reactivity. And as you realized, it's a lot simpler and fuller way to live.

The important thing to know is that "progress" like this is always two steps forward and one step back. All of our old psychological patterns will come back and they might even seem worse than before. But the solution is to slowly and consistently do what you did before: hold the tension/anxiety/discomfort in awareness and allow it to be. Over time, this will allow the pattern to soften and dissolve --- but it can't be rushed. Some patterns are like water that just turns into mist, but other patterns are like ice that needs to warmed for months before it starts softening a little.

This is also a time when therapy makes a lot of sense. You are now able to really see reactive patterns AS reactive patterns so now is the time when therapy might actually work. emoticon  Meditation plus therapy is one of the most potent combinations there is for this kind of stuff.

As you read MCTB, you'll find that often after these big openings there is a period that feels like regression and failure... but this is more of a by-product of things slowly changing in your sense of self. A lot of the naiviete in our sense of self goes away, which is slowly replaced by a new self-awareness, maturity, and sanity... but it takes awhile. A lot of time we uncover psychological wounds which don't heal right away, and the smell of these open wounds can get kinda funky. emoticon

I'm both happy/jealous and sad/worried for you. I both remember how rich my life became after something similar happened to me... and I also remember how much work was involved as I went through all the changes. It can get dark sometimes. It's called the dark night for a reason. It is really helpful to build up your support group now (normal friends, therapist, gym membership, meditation friends, etc.) because it seems like everyone needs a little support as they go through this.

If you really have been seeking healing and personal growth, you're right where you need to be. Take it slow, be modest, be consistent, don't indulge, don't overthink it --- just do the study and practice that you feel you need to do. Don't be surprised if you uncover psychological stuff you need to work on. Don't make things overly personal, overly dramatic, overly effortful. The best advice is consistent, gentle, daily, non-heroic practices are best. 

Best wishes!!
John Self, modified 5 Days ago.

RE: Emptiness, S.E., A&P, Psychosis?? Help appreciated!!

Posts: 6 Join Date: 2/18/21 Recent Posts
Shargrol... this is the fifth response I have tried. lol  For some reason my phone does not like responding to just your post so I powered up the computer... fingers crossed!

Basically all I said was you're amazing!

Thanks for the thorough explanation and advice! I will definitely be rereading all of these several times over the coming weeks to keep me grounded and in the right mindset.

Your last line was so helpful that I almost wanted to make "Consistent, gentle, daily, non-heroic practice" into a mantra! lol
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Niels Lyngsø, modified 5 Days ago.

RE: Emptiness, S.E., A&P, Psychosis?? Help appreciated!!

Posts: 289 Join Date: 11/15/19 Recent Posts
Hey there!

I am in line with the other guys here: What a ride! Sounds very much like powerful A&P to me. My two cents would be: Keep it simple and be patient. This is a lifelong journey. MCTB is definitely an invaluable ressource, but it is also quite advanced level stuff, and at least for me – who read that book as one of my first dharma books – it was very helpful to go back to some more basic stuff and then return (and return) to MCTB. I recommend "Mindfulness in Plain English", which is just what the title says, except "mindfulness" could be "basic buddhist practice". For the understanding of buddhism I recomment "What the Buddha taught".

As for practice, I think grounding and stabilizing is the most important for you right now, so a simple samatha practice with one-pointet concentration on an object (the breath, a candle flame, a mantra) done regularly and continously, combined with some physical excercise (brisk walks, weight training) would probably be good for now.

And, as Tim suggests, start a log here and let us know how it goes.

PS: Take my advice with a truckload of salt, I am not an advanced yogi (pre Stream Entry).
John Self, modified 5 Days ago.

RE: Emptiness, S.E., A&P, Psychosis?? Help appreciated!!

Posts: 6 Join Date: 2/18/21 Recent Posts
Thanks Niels! Very grateful for your time and words.

It is a daunting book! Lol I had no idea it was going to be so big when I ordered it but I've heard nothing but amazing things and am enjoying it so far!

Thanks for the book recommendations! I just now ordered the mindfulness one and "The Heart of the Buddha's Teachings" so I definitely have plenty to keep me busy for a while. Lol

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