@Chris Marti: personal topic

Georg S, modified 1 Month ago.

@Chris Marti: personal topic

Posts: 25 Join Date: 12/8/19 Recent Posts
Hallo Chris and everyone else who stumbles upon this thread,

First of all Chris, I'm sorry to post this in public, because normally all that will follow, I would have preferred to discuss it with you in private. But as the personal message function is not working I don't know how I should it point it out in a other way. So I ask all the others to please stay out of this discussion, because it is something personal between Chris and me.

I'm writing to you because I want to talk about the issue you seem to have with me. What you wrote 2 days ago and deleted quite quickly afterwards was hurtful to me. I guess you know what I'm talking about - if not please ask. Even you don't know me at all, you judged and assaulted me on a very personal level based on my previous posts I wrote here on DhO. It seems at least to me that you spend some time going through my posts. Why else do you observe and know so much about my editing-patterns (is it even possible to know that without admin rights?)? I woud be interested in your view.

The second thing is, it triggered feelings of ill will in me, which where an interesting pattern to observe the last 2 days and still is. So in some way I'm thankful that that is happening right now, because its an important lesson for me to learn more about my conditioned patterns.

On the other hand I wanna tell you, that the way you communicated with me was disrespectful. I guess you were aware of that, and I thinkt that's why you deleted your message right away you posted it. Let me know if i got it all wrong. 

And if there is an issue you are having with me (or something i write), I would appreciate to point it out clear to me in the future. If possible immediately and not in an summarizing of assumptions which your mind throws at me out of context. 
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Chris Marti, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: @Chris Marti: personal topic

Posts: 3859 Join Date: 1/26/13 Recent Posts
I'm actually fine with you posting this. I'm glad to be able to clear it up. I hope this reply helps explain what happened:

I deleted that comment because I realized how confused I was about what was actually going on in that thread. I'm sure it seemed disrespectful to you because it wasn't meant for you. It probably seemed to be coming out of nowhere. Once I realized my error, I removed it as quickly as possible. That all took only a few minutes in elapsed time. I had no idea you saw it.

Let me know how this lands.

EDIT for clarity: Just so you know, I wasn't describing your posting habits in that deleted comment. I was just very confused about who said what, and why. Thus the deletion. It's old people foibles, mainly. I feel terrible that you've been stewing over a dumb mistake of mine.
Georg S, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: @Chris Marti: personal topic

Posts: 25 Join Date: 12/8/19 Recent Posts
Thank you Chris for the clarification. Please don't feel terrible about it, because I can imagine, how it feels like being in your position, as I have been there more often than I wanted toemoticon. Anyway, I guess that it wont help, but at least you supported my practice in a good way the last days. It allowed me to see  how easy it is to fall into thought patterns, how suffering comes and goes in waves and how one thought or feeling is triggering another if followed and feeded. It also showed me how it affected my behaviour and communication with other people in daily life (I felt alienated/cut off, had to take care of to not act out on my girlfriend, ...). And all that drama happend in my own mind and had nothing to do with you at all in the first place.

I'am in no position to make any assumptions about you, but It seems to me that you are having a hard time at the moment, at least on DhO. Like you sometimes are a little bit tired about what is going on here and your own happiness about your role here as an (retired?) admin. Probably I'm wrong about that, as the only thing that forms a "Chris" for me, is what I get out of some of your posts. 

I also appreciate your time and effort you put into this place and the way of your compassionate response to me (and others) when it is needed.+

Thank you for clearing it up Chris!
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Chris Marti, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: @Chris Marti: personal topic

Posts: 3859 Join Date: 1/26/13 Recent Posts
Having a hard time? No. Just busy with things other than DhO  emoticon

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