Truth Seeker Log 1

Truth Seeker, modified 2 Years ago at 3/27/21 8:29 AM
Created 2 Years ago at 3/27/21 8:29 AM

Truth Seeker Log 1

Posts: 46 Join Date: 2/27/21 Recent Posts
I'm not sure how often I'll post on here, but figured this might be good for my progression as I've been stalling these past couple weeks and trying to hold onto past beliefs and lifestyle. I'm not even sure what the format of these should be on this forum so I'm just going to write out my thoughts and go from there with a little bit of background. One of the core things to note of my journey and my current ego is I feel an extremely strong need to try and figure things out on my own before I can believe something as true. To this end, these past 8-9 months I've been analyzing the main populous religions, their practices to reach Nirvana/Heaven/Destination, the large unknowns of science in relation to self (memory, imagination, dreaming, consciousness, emotion, etc.), and attempting to find how they all get put together. Another way to put it is trying to form a picture with several puzzle pieces. I go with one theory, investigate and introspect, and if it doesn't fit then I break down to the variables once more and repeat. The amount of times I've cycled like this is too many to count at this point. My current hypothesis is something I'm calling the "God Loop". You have Self (Unknown), The Flow, and the Known (Space-Time). You continuously flow with knowledge to sustain or expand. Knowledge is something like "life force" or our energy. Consider Self as Future, Flow as Present, and Known as Past. Past (Memories) form everything around you as one piece instead of various fragments. From within the Known, based on what you consider Self to be at that time, you determine how to flow through Time (moment to moment). For most, the flow is more like teleporation. They cling to list of ideas that make up their ego and go from one aspect to the next not noticing/ignoring what happens in between those points in time, ignoring that change. For others, the flow is more smooth and continuous. They flow by constantly remembering what they sense and changing that memory subtly to move through it. 

I have not yet dedicated myself to Jhana practice. However, based on my current hypothesis that practice is essentially forcing a specific memory creation and then once goal is accomplished you open self up to "basking" in your creation and slowly merging/becoming that memory until birth occurs. From there you learn the states of life to death (birth - rapture, letting self age - stop manipulating, dampering/lessening/getting use to your new form, dying/letting go). You learn how to expand and contract awareness and how to flow between the states. From here you now have your "checkpoints" and then use that as a reference point while continuously moving through your day to day life. Your goal is then to try to open self up to knowledge coming inwards, never ignoring, and if you need to move, you move with and not against so you don't cause friction and ignorance (lapses in memory due to not letting knowledge flow in from those points in time). Unsure yet how stream entry fits in with this. Then again this may all be wrong and I will need to break it down once more and rebuild. I just need to start and then adjust as needed. 

Oh and you also have limiters on infinity to restrict change and how to open self up to everything around (Bible, Tao Te Ching, Noble Eightfold Path, 8 Limbs of Yoga, etc.)

For the readers, hopefully this made some semblance of sense. I've never been great at explaining things and I understand it doesn't help when I'm mixing termonology from various places.

Anyways, that's where I'm at now with current understanding and what I should do next.
George S, modified 2 Years ago at 3/27/21 11:28 AM
Created 2 Years ago at 3/27/21 11:28 AM

RE: Truth Seeker Log 1

Posts: 2752 Join Date: 2/26/19 Recent Posts
Welcome to the forum!

It's pretty common to go through a phase of comparing the great spiritual traditions, on an intellectual basis. I certainly did that. At a certain point though, that fuel burns itself out, and you realize that you're not going to get anywhere unless you actually develop a consistent meditation practice. If jhana appeals to you, then I would say the next step should be to sit down, start focussing on the breath and see what happens ...

I look forward to following your journey on here! emoticon
Truth Seeker, modified 2 Years ago at 3/27/21 11:54 AM
Created 2 Years ago at 3/27/21 11:54 AM

RE: Truth Seeker Log 1

Posts: 46 Join Date: 2/27/21 Recent Posts
Thanks George!

I agree to a certain point. However, I wouldn't say I'm burning out but instead developing a foundation to build further upon. My foundation is pretty stable now and I've mapped out the next steps and start practicing moment to moment. For jhana practice, I'm undecided on whether to do so or just go all in on moment to moment. If I do decide to include that in my routine then it'll either be mindfulness of breath or earth/fire/water kasina.