RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Sam Gentile, modified 19 Days ago.

Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
Wow, I am accumulating quite a history here! Chris Marti asked me to create a new log bacause my 4th version was getting too long. That 4th log chronicles the jouney time from my 2nd A+P to my Stream Entry.

​​​​​​​I learned and experienced a lot during Log #2. At the begining, I offered some information on my history and methods:
  1.  first practice log,
HISTORY
A lot of my practice history both pre-DhO and DhO learning about noting can be found here. I talk about nothing happening for 7 years. Most of it was Tibetan under Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche. Since joining DhO I have made great strides along with my teacher Abre.
Sam Gentile, modified 20 Days ago.

RE: Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
Help Needed 

Things are not going well. Although I got some donations for groceries, that was only enough for one week. I'm sorry to say I need more help for this week's groceries. I am also having trouble getting up for mmeditation sleepiing into the late afternoon. If you can help, my PayPal account is mscoree42@gmail.com.

​​​​​​​I need to get back to meditation. I will be meeting with Abre on WEdnesday.
Sam Gentile, modified 19 Days ago.

RE: Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
I finally got money for 2 weeks of groceries. One worry out.

50 min Meditation (20 min Concentration, 30 min Noting)

Finally got back to meditation and now I'm feeling my Parkinson's symptoms. Concentration practice was excellent using the Transitional Breath. I experienced Silence and Calm.
For noting, I had a little bit of dizziness, with small headaches, lower back pain, Tense and tight neck, stomach pain. Then things calmed down to Silence and Stillness of Mind, Calmness, Relaxation. Then some more body: shoulder pain, lower back pain. This was followed by more Silence, hearing birds, stillness, relaxed,  a tiny bit of bliss, followed by my Gratitude and Metta practices.
Sam Gentile, modified 18 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
Meeting with Abre

Well, I knew I was going to get chewed out - 5 meditations in 2 weeks plus the Dzogchen stuff. She was very unhappy. She said that I need to kick myself in the ass, that I'm not a baby, get going and remember all that bliss and allthe WISDOM I gained in achieving SE. I need to have gratitude for having those wonderful results. As someone with SE, I can't be ababy and can't decide to be lazy and just decide that I don't feel like it. I have plenty of time, continue. Do you want to lose all that you gained? Stay in bed all day? What an indulgence! 

So back to the widom I gained and begin from there again. Going to meditate now.

50 min Meditation (20 min Concentration, 30 min Noting)
Concentration was excellent until I realized I was breath counting instead of doing the superior Transitional Breath
Noting was kind of weird. I had a little bit of vertigo, a little dizzy, little headaches and this werid sensations that felt like this giant zooming in and out of my ears. I may have to check into this medically. I had knee pain, arm pain, shoulder pain, lower back pain, hand pain, numness. Then things turned to silence, calm, relaxation, hearing birds, hearing airplanes. This was followed up by my gratitude and metta practices.

20 min Guided Dzogchen The Threefold Space meditation
This meditation uses space to connect with the open radiant quality of pure awareness. This is a traditional practice in the Dzongchen lineage , refered to as "three fold space."

Note: With Abre's permission I will be taking Michael Taft's Vast Sky Mind on non dual techniques/

Dzogchen Studies
  1. Section 4: mingle Awareness and Space
  2. “Instruction Manual on the Ground of Trekchö” by Vajrayoginī in Perfect Clarity, pp. 73‒76
  3. A Lamp to Dispel Darkness by Mipham Rinpoche [pdf]
  4. “The Threefold Sky Practice” by Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche, in Vajra Heart Revisited, pp. 119‒126
  5. “Space” by Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche, in Quintessential Dzogchen, pp. 190‒19
  6. One hour video with Marcia Schmidt, original student and publisher of Talku Urgyen Rinpoche and others
Sam Gentile, modified 17 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
50 min  Meditation (20  min Concentration, 30 min Noting)

Concentration was excellent using the Transitional Breath. Noting was pretty rocky at the physical layer. I had neck pain, forehead pain, mid back pain, lower back pain. There was then a period of silence and stillness, calm and relaxation. Then came more physical stuff - Shoulder pain, small headaches, leg pain, stomach pain. In the end, back to calm and I did Gratitude and Metta.
Sam Gentile, modified 16 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
50 min Meditation (20 min Concentration, 30 min Noting)

Abre re-motivated me and I even got up 2 hours earlier. However I didn't have any Coffee. Concentration practice was just average. I don't know if it was the abscence of coffee but I felt tired and "spaced out." I did maintian my Transitional Breath but there were way too many thoughts. As I went on to Noting Practice, the "spaced out" feeling continued. My eyes were watering, gut pain, knee pain, neck tightness, lower back pain. Finally I got some silence and relaxation and I finished up with Gratitude and Metta.

NEW! Persuant to this topic, I had already been studyiing Dzogchen. I now have obtained permission fromm Abre to add Vast Sky Mind: Fundamentals of Nondual Meditation and Awakening by Micheal Taft.   

20 min Dzogchen Meditating on the 3rd Point
This meditation worked with Garab Dorje's third instruction that strikes the vital point - gaining confidence in liberation by using Patrul Rinpoche's commentry. This was read in the background such as "
“When you have strong attachment towards an object of desire or violent anger towards an object of aversion, or when you feel joy about favorable circumstances, about material possessions and the like, or you are afflicted by sorrow due to an illness or another unfavorable circumstance, no matter what happens, at that moment the power of your rigpa is aroused. So, it is vital to recognize the wisdom that is the ground for liberation.”


Dzogchen Practice
  1. Module 6 Gaining Confidence in Libertion
  2. Mingyur  Rinpoche Video - Gaining Confidence in Liberation
  3. Patrul Rinpoche, Confidence Directly in the Liberation of Rising Thoughts, from The Special Teaching of the Wise and Glorious King, pp. 9-13 [pdf]
    ​​​​​​​4. Introduction by Cortland Dahl
  4. Guru Rinpoche Prayer translated by Jim Scott [pdf]
  5. Advice on How to Put the Meaning of the Natural Great Perfection into Practice by Patrul Rinpoche [pdf]
  6. Primordial Purity, pp. 60‒90 (Ch. 3 “Action”)
  7. Enhance the Recognition by Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche, in Vajra Heart Revisited, pp. 73‒76
Sam Gentile, modified 16 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
90 minutes Micheal Taft Non Dual Who Are You Really  meditation

Thiis meditation had a bunch of steps in it.
  1. Shamatha with the Breath - got really concentrated
  2. Drop into spacious awareness + rest in it
  3. Notice the Stillness of awarness
  4. Notice perfect silence
  5. Notice timeless - How long have you been here? Forever
  6. Notice awareness is happening all by itself
  7. Switch to vipashyana - notice sensations arising and disolving
  8. Notice of any sembelences of "YOU" are inside awareness and that you are just an appearence in awareness
  9. Awareness is aware of the "self"
KEY INSIGHT: Things that you have been calling I/YOU are just a bunch of thoughts, sensations, etc in awareness. But awareness is always there.
IIt's NOT that you are in the world, but the world is in you

I'll be back later for our meeting with Mingyur Rinpoche
Sam Gentile, modified 14 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
50 min Meditation (20 min Concentration, 30 min Noting)
Concentration was very good except for some thoughts on my new Vast Sky Mind course (see below) starting this week. I used the treansitional breath.
Noting was mostly calm, silence and relaxation. In the begining, I had neck tightness, knee  pain, shoulder pain, lower back pain. mid back pain, little headaches, forehead sensations. Then the rest of the time it was Silence, stillness, relaxed, relaxed and calm. I finished with Gratitude and  Metta.

Note: I am starting my non dual course Vast Open Sky with Micheal Taft. I will be including some short progress notes as the "Pod" communications will be private.

This will continue with he Dzogchen
Sam Gentile, modified 13 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
I am still struggling a biy with sleep and meditation. I am waking up a noon, eating, and going  back to bed. I am having a hard time gettiing myself to meditate. I know Abre gave me the lecture but can any of you readers offer any encouragement? It seems like so long since I've heard from anyone.

50min meditation (20 min Concentration, 30 min Noting)
Once I did meditate, concentration was excellent. Total calm. Used the Transitional Breath.
Noting started with calm ,relaxation,silence. Then I got neck stiffness, tiny headaches, lower back pain, shoulder pain, leg pain. Then I had a wonderful couple of minutes hearing birds. This was followed by stillness, calm, relaxation, stillness in the mind. Then I did my Gratitude and Metta practices.
George S, modified 13 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1775 Join Date: 2/26/19 Recent Posts
Your meditations generally sound peaceful and pleasant ... where do you think the resistance is coming from?
Sam Gentile, modified 13 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
George S
Your meditations generally sound peaceful and pleasant ... where do you think the resistance is coming from?
I don't know. It seems more of a life thing. I don't really feel like doing much and have a lot of sleepiness during the day. 
George S, modified 13 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1775 Join Date: 2/26/19 Recent Posts
I hear you. The life and meditation stuff tend to start overlapping after a certain point so, if it's any consolation, it's a sign of progress! The only way is forward now ...

If you feel up to it, try to investigate the sensations in your body associated with this feeling of having a hard time getting yourself to meditate, as if you were an impartial observer studying some interesting new phenomenon. Eg see if they are hard or soft, hot or cold, localized or dispersed, static or moving around etc.
Sam Gentile, modified 12 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
George S
I hear you. The life and meditation stuff tend to start overlapping after a certain point so, if it's any consolation, it's a sign of progress! The only way is forward now ...

I'm on the treadmill now after the A+Ps and Stream Entry. I can't stop even if I wanted to. YEs, forward!

If you feel up to it, try to investigate the sensations in your body associated with this feeling of having a hard time getting yourself to meditate, as if you were an impartial observer studying some interesting new phenomenon. Eg see if they are hard or soft, hot or cold, localized or dispersed, static or moving around etc.

It's sort of this really heavy feeling, dragging me down, wanting to just get out of it.
George S, modified 11 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

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Sam Gentile
It's sort of this really heavy feeling, dragging me down, wanting to just get out of it.

Classic Desire for Deliverance!
​​​​​​​
MN44 Culavedalla Sutta

"Passion-obsession is to be abandoned with regard to pleasant feeling. Resistance-obsession is to be abandoned with regard to painful feeling. Ignorance-obsession is to be abandoned with regard to neither-pleasant-nor-painful feeling."

"Is passion-obsession to be abandoned with regard to all pleasant feeling? Is resistance-obsession to be abandoned with regard to all painful feeling? Is ignorance-obsession to be abandoned with regard to all neither-pleasant-nor-painful feeling?"​​​​​​​

​​​​​​​"No... There is the case where a monk — quite withdrawn from sensuality, withdrawn from unskillful qualities — enters & remains in the first jhana: rapture & pleasure born from withdrawal, accompanied by directed thought & evaluation. With that he abandons passion. No passion-obsession gets obsessed there. There is the case where a monk considers, 'O when will I enter & remain in the dimension that those who are noble now enter & remain in?' And as he thus nurses this yearning for the unexcelled liberations, there arises within him sorrow based on that yearning. With that he abandons resistance. No resistance-obsession gets obsessed there. There is the case where a monk, with the abandoning of pleasure & pain — as with the earlier disappearance of elation & distress — enters & remains in the fourth jhana: purity of equanimity & mindfulness, neither pleasure nor pain. With that he abandons ignorance. No ignorance-obsession gets obsessed there."
Sam Gentile, modified 11 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
Classic Desire for Deliverance!

Yah, it could be. It did feel like that the first time through the Dukka-Nannas. But that would mean I have fallen from stream entry into the dukkha -nanas.

Look at todays log though. Totally different. Joy, happpiness, etc
George S, modified 11 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1775 Join Date: 2/26/19 Recent Posts
Well that's the classic pattern post SE! - constantly cycling from A&P through dukkha nanas to equanimity (and possibly repeat fruitions or a new path)
Sam Gentile, modified 10 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

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yes, thanks for reminding me of that
Logan G., modified 13 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 52 Join Date: 5/22/21 Recent Posts
Hi Sam,

From your practice log, it appears you are meditating regularly for a significant amount of time even though it's difficult, so I'd say that's a pretty good win! Honestly, when I've been tired and run-down and struggling, I usually only manage 30 minutes or so with regularity.

Also, what's 'Transitional Breath'?

   -- Logan
Sam Gentile, modified 13 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
Logan G.
Hi Sam,

From your practice log, it appears you are meditating regularly for a significant amount of time even though it's difficult, so I'd say that's a pretty good win! Honestly, when I've been tired and run-down and struggling, I usually only manage 30 minutes or so with regularity.

That's when I don't miss any days but yes I've been regularly.

Also, what's 'Transitional Breath'?
​​​​​​​This is a Concentration Breath taught to me by my teacher Abre where you notice and think Beg-Middle_end of both the on the in breath and out breath.

   -- Logan
Sam Gentile, modified 12 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
50 min Meditation (20 min Concentration, 30 min Noting)

Up late again. Forced myself again to meditate but Success! Concentrration was very good but not excellent. I was in this state where everything was quiet, wasn't thinking but not really feeling  like I was deeply concentrating eithher. Used Transitional Breath. Noting was such a joy with the prolonged sound of beautiful birds. I had some neck tightness, lower back pain, tiny headaches, upper back pain, knee pain, leg pain, forehead pain. Then the prolonged periods of hearing birds. Followed by calm, relaxed. Finished with Gratitude and Metta.

Dzogchen Studies
  1. Minyur Rinpoche video - Experiencing the Four Liberations. The 4 liberations are 1) Primordial 2)Self, (3) Direct and (4) liberation from extremes. I am fascinated by Primordial Liberation - its there from beginless time. In recognizing Rigpa, you can often sense meditation from before. That is because Rigpa is everwhere always.
  2. Longchenpa’s Commentary on the Third Vital Point [pdf]
  3. Self-Liberating Meditation by Patrul Rinpoche [pdf]
  4. Enhancement by Tsele Natsok Randrol, in Quintessential Dzogchen, pp. 239‒243
  5. The Third Vital Point + The Conclusion from Teachings on the Three Words That Strike the Vital Point by Mingyur Rinpoche, pp. 59‒77 and 78‒96
  6. Methods of Liberation by Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche, in Vajra Heart Revisited, pp. 111‒1
Sam Gentile, modified 11 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
Starbucks  3 shot Strawberry Funnel Cake Ice Coffee has arrived. Certainly it is now time to meditate.

50 min Meditation (20 min Concentration, 30 mn Noting)

My best sit in over a month! I'm sure the coffee helped. Concentration best in over a month. All the Jhanicc factors like Piti, Sukkha, Energy and Mindfulnessness were present and I thought I was going to enter the 1st Jhana but didn't. But I got a nice deep awake, aware concentration.
Noting was great too. I started out calm, awake and even a little bliss. Then I had some shoulder soreness, urinary tension, neck tightness, knee pain, lower back pain. Then most of the rest was filled with silence, stillness, relaxed, calm, happiness and even Joy!! Finished with Gratitude and Metta.

20 min Dzogchen Meditation - Rigpa in Everyday Life
This meditation involved looking at various everyday activities in life and realize that they are arisings and ceasings within awareness. View them as expressions of rigpa.

Quote of the Day
"To repeat the recognition of mind essence you don't neccessarily have to sit down, Do not make any distinction between the training when sitting and the training when moving around in daily life situations. Do no not limit the practice to sessions. The view is rigpa, the meditation training is rigpa, and the conduct is rigpa. This is the way to get used to the enlightened state" -- Talku Urgyen Rinpoche


Dzogchen Studies (Module 6 Gaining Confidence in Liberation)
  1. Section 3 - Application - Beyond Hope and Fear
  2. Mingyur Rinpoche Video Beyond Hope and Fear
  3. Relative Practices and the Great Perfection by Cortland Dahl
  4. The Profound Advice by Khenpo Gangshar, in Perfect Clarity, pp. 155‒162
  5. Meditation and Post-Meditation by Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche, in Vajra Heart Revisited, pp. 145‒149
  6. Conduct by Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche, in Quintessential Dzogchen, pp. 233‒238
  7. Dealing with Emotions by Tsoknyi Rinpoche, in Fearless Simplicity, pp. 174‒190 [pdf]
​​​​​​​
  1. Going to be meeting with my new meditation Pod tonight. % of us meeting weekly in support for Micheal Taft's Vast Sky Mind
Sam Gentile, modified 9 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
I'm not skipping today. Even though the class doesn't start until next week, I will be doing the 90 minute Micheal Taft NonDual/Awareness meditation tonight at 11pm and post.

90 min Micheal  Taft NonDual Awareness Meditation
A powerful, I should say non-mediatation> It had these steps
  1. Empty out your personality, of what you think to be you
  2. Looked all over and couldn't find an actual self for this personality
  3. Shamatha with Breath to get completly relaxed and concentrated
  4. Become aware of awareness qualities - stillness, silence, boundless space, timelessness and effortless
  5. While doing that "Don't pick up any balls" and "Drop all balls" - drop thoughts, sensations, etc
  6. Open eyes to notice light arises without effort
  7. Allow awareness to notice that there's nobody making the silence, etc - just happening with awareness
  8. Awareness without any concepts turns and looks back at itself - awareness aware of itself
What a profond non-meditation! So awareness is primoordial which means its always been here and that must  mean it's not impermentor empty?!
Logan G., modified 9 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

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Sam Gentile What a profond non-meditation! So awareness is primoordial which means its always been here and that must  mean it's not impermentor empty?!
This is one I've seen seemingly conflicting information on based on the reading around I've done! The main thing I've read that has the opposite opinion is Rob Burbea's 'Seeing that Frees'. I also could be misunderstanding either source though. I think fortunately for me right now it's 'above my paygrade', as there are plenty of less daunting objects to investigate in meditation haha.
Sam Gentile, modified 9 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
50 min Meditation (20 min Concentration, 30 min Noting)

So there's nothing like a 3 shot Starbucks coffee to get this reluctant meditator to meditate! Concenntration practice was excellent using the Transitional Breath. No piti or sukkha but plenty of energy.
Noting begun with the trifecta of eye pain, eyes watering and nose streaming. Very unpleasent. I had to keep my eyes open for the rest. I also had gut pain, urinary tension, lower back pain, knee pain. There was a period of silence, stillness of the mind, calm. Then my shoulders were tight, arms heavy, gut pressure, . I ended with Gratitude and Meta practices.

Observation: After a year of really strong noting practice and the start of my Dzogchen, I can't help but notice how much easier non-meditation of awareness is and "coming at it from the other side." The fear is that if I stop doing noting and concentration that that will somehow knock me off my path of which I am between 1st path and 2nd path. I don't want to stop the pipeline.

Dzogchen Studies
  1. Mingyur Rinpoche video Fruition in the Great Perfection
  2. Tim Olmsted Introduction to Frution
  3. The Final Fruition by Padmasambhava and Jamgon Kongtrul, in Quintessential Dzogchen, pp. 251‒256 [pdf]
  4. igns and Levels of Progress by Padmasambhava, in Quintessential Dzogchen, pp. 257‒261 [pdf]
  5. Song of Fruition by Shabkar, in Quintessential Dzogchen, pp. 262‒268 [pdf]
  6. Ultimate View, Meditation, Conduct, and Fruition by Jetsun Milarepa, under the guidance of Khenpo Tsultrim Gyamtso Rinpoche, translated and arranged by Jim Scott [pdf]
George S, modified 9 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1775 Join Date: 2/26/19 Recent Posts
It's pretty common to shift from noting to a broader type of awareness practice at a certain point. As long as you keep noticing and investigating it's all good. You can always switch back to noting if things get rough. Maybe you oscillate between these two practice modes for a while.
Sam Gentile, modified 9 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
George S
It's pretty common to shift from noting to a broader type of awareness practice at a certain point. As long as you keep noticing and investigating it's all good. You can always switch back to noting if things get rough. Maybe you oscillate between these two practice modes for a while.
Yes, I believe you're right. I think I've outgrown Noting. I'm asking Abre now.
george, modified 9 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

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Nice Sam, sounds like you got this! Best wishes
Sam Gentile, modified 6 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
Thanks George! Folks, missed the last 2 days of the Noting meditation as I caught up with my sleep and the last parts of my Dzogchen class, which Mingyur Rinpoche  may extend! I also had to teach my Pod members in Micheal Taft's non-dual class why they couldn't do Dzogchen without Pointing Instructions. But I'm here today and have I meet with my therapist at 1PM, I will do my 50 min meditation. 

50 min Meditation (20 min Concentration, 30 min Noting)

Ok,, it's really aware that my concentration practice is clashing with my awareness and my Dzogchen practices. Cocentration says "Concentrate! Deeper! Effort!" and Awareness/Dzogchen says "NonMeditation! No Effort! Don't do anything!" Given that, I still had a pretty good concentration but I may have outgrown it (and probably noting too). Noting was glorious today! I had only 2 physical sensations: gut pain and  back of the neck pain. From there on, I noted Srillness, silence, Calm, Relaxation, Lightnness of the Mind which led to Floating! Happiness. Then I did my Gratitude and Metta practices.

20 min Dzogchen First Vital Point NonMeditation
Rested in natural awareness and then emitted this sacred sound. No forcing. Just rested in state of non meditation.

31 minute Dzogchen Practice Session
It turns out I've been doing these wrong, at least in this lineage. We did the Rufuge Chant, Boddichitta Chant, Guru Devotion. Then we dropped all effort and relaxed. Looked at the mind and can't find it. then a long period on non meditation of the empty quality of awareness. And that's when it gets maddening! Like I said this morning, it completly contrasts with Concentration/Noting. There's nothing to do! Yet you're not supposed to get distracted. Its so hard to just rest and do nothing

Dzogchen Studies
Today, I will finish the the first traditional course in the tradition of the Nygigma and Kagyu lineages on Dzogchen. I will then be starting deeper courses under Mingyur Rinpoche.
  1. Conclusion from Mingyur Rinpoche, Cortland Dahl, and Tim Olmsted
  2. Start of Deepening Dzogchen course
  3. Module 1 : Direct Introduction to One's True Nature
  4. Webinar with Tsoknyi Rinpoche (in Tibetan!)
  5. Section 2: Going Beyond Concept
Logan G., modified 6 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 52 Join Date: 5/22/21 Recent Posts
There's nothing to do! Yet you're not supposed to get distracted. Its so hard to just rest and do nothing


A cue I got from 'Our Pristine Mind' that I really like is 'Leave your mind alone'. Like if you have an itch you want to scratch, or you are a kid fiddling with some other object, and some one tells you - 'Leave it alone'!
Sam Gentile, modified 5 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
50 min Meditation (20 min Concentration, 30 min Noting)

Hard to do this one because I had to do my wash at the same time. Concentration was just very good using the Transitional Breath.
Noting was full of physical sensations. I had lower back pain, neck pain, shoulder pain, forehead pain,  tiny headaches. Then I had a little calm and relaxation. Then I did my gratitde and metta practices.
Sam Gentile, modified 4 Days ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
Tonight
Hi Folks. I am forgoing my concentration/noting practice because tonight is the start of my new class (this will be the case on all wednesdays to come). Micheal Taft's Vast Open Sky on nondual awareness. I am really excited! There is some contreversy for me as he looks like he will be traching and practicing some Dzogchen without requiring students to get the required pointing out instructions (see topic Is Anyone here practicing Tibetan methods (Dzogchen, Mahamudra, Mahayana, ) - Discussion - www.dharmaoverground.org). Anyway, he gives excellent meditations on awareness and I need to learn the non-dual side of things. I will post my report below by 9PM Eastern.

90 min Micheal Taft Vast Open Sky Class/Meditation

I knew it!  From the very first meeting MIcheal Taft is saying a big "fuck you" to preliminary practices, pointing out instructions and traditions and "inventing his own thing." He said "There is this thing called non dual awareness. WE could use many terms from different  traditions." It's something we already got. We get caught up/tangled up, we lose connectio n with this Ground of Being. We are learning to reconnect with your fundamental being. No one has to give you permission your ground of being. We are doing something radical here. No rites, rituals, preliminary practices. We're doing something different here. No one can be gatekeeper to your ground of being"

Now I realize Micheal is talking a lot wider than Dzogchen here but the way I have been learning Dzogchen is very traditional in a lineage that goes back to Tibet.

We did about a 30 min meditation. Started with Shamatha with Breath. Then looked for the place of stillness in the body and found non-dual awareness. Recognized the silence and the boundlessness. 
Sam Gentile, modified 1 Day ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
Going through a bit of a rough patch. I haven't meditated since Wednesday and I've been sleeping all day.

50 min Meditation (20 min Concentration, 30 min Noting)

What a great meditation! Concenntration was excellent and deep in the Transitional Breath, with a light head feeling, some Sukkha. In Noting, it  statred with Calm, Light Head feeling, some more Sukkha. Then I had some back pain, foot tingling, shoulder soreness, knee pain,  and that was it for physical. For the whole rest of the sit, Happiness, Little bit of Bliss!, Head shivers, Silence, Stillness, Joy. I ended with my Gratitude and Metta practices.

30 min Dzogchen Practice Session
I was doing these wrong in this tradition. In this tradition, we chant Refuge, Bodchitta, and Devotion (in Tibetan) at the begining. Then I recogonized Rigpa as the words of Longchenpa were read. Then, of course there's nothing more to do but non-meditation. Rest in rigpa/nondual awareness. Except its real hard to do this for someone who is a Noter. The mind just really wants to do something and I had to keep dropping the thinking and doing and go back to non-meditation.

Dzogchen Studies
  1. New course - Dzogchen Deepening!
  2. Module  1 Direct Introduction to One's True Nature - Section 2 Going Beyond Concept
  3. Interview with Mingyur Rinpoche and Cortland Dahl (1 hour)
  4. Dzogchen Deepening welcome with Tim Olmsted
Logan G., modified 1 Day ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 52 Join Date: 5/22/21 Recent Posts
Nice! Always a pleasant suprise when you feel like thing have been going a little rough and then the sit goes great!
Sam Gentile, modified 1 Day ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
Logan G.
Nice! Always a pleasant suprise when you feel like thing have been going a little rough and then the sit goes great!
Yes it was a suprise! But good. 
george, modified 1 Day ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 158 Join Date: 9/8/20 Recent Posts
Hey Sam I'm experiencing very similar things in my sit now too. Experiencing sukkha, light headness, plesant feelings, noting is fast and then crash and burn. Currently I can't sit for 30min, the fatigue is hard to note and I'm getting frustrated. I guess we just have to keep chipping away. One thing I noticed is that mindfulness throughout the day is lacking. So I start to make plans that don't foster my practice, subliminally avoiding practice. I want to be more present throughout the day so I can remind myself, tonight I sit, that way I can build the motivation throughout the day. 
Sam Gentile, modified 17 Hours ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
george
Hey Sam I'm experiencing very similar things in my sit now too. Experiencing sukkha, light headness, plesant feelings, noting is fast and then crash and burn
exactly

. Currently I can't sit for 30min, the fatigue is hard to note and I'm getting frustrated. I guess we just have to
I can sit around 40 minutes but mostly the fatigue is such that I don't get to the cushion

keep chipping away. One thing I noticed is that mindfulness throughout the day is lacking. So I start to make plans that don't foster my practice, subliminally avoiding practice. I want to be more present throughout the day so I can remind myself, tonight I sit, that way I can build the motivation throughout the day. 
Yes, Abre is always saying practice, practice, practice no  matter what. 
Sam Gentile, modified 16 Hours ago.

RE: Sam's Practice Log 5

Posts: 1170 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
Spending Father's Day with my girlfriend Staci. I read MCTB Chapter 5 on the 3C's to her. She wanted a Conentration Meditation but wanted it guided. So today's practice is:

Dzogchen 20 min Rigpa is Everwhere Non Meditation
A beutififul non-meditation on non-dual awareness or rigpa and doing nothing but recognizing it. 

Dharma Deepening Studies
  1. 1 hour Dharma Geek with Cortland Dahl - line by line reading of Patrul Rinpoche's 

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