"Mixing drinks" "Cloudy Mind"

B J C, modified 2 Years ago at 6/28/21 11:50 AM
Created 2 Years ago at 6/28/21 11:50 AM

"Mixing drinks" "Cloudy Mind"

Posts: 2 Join Date: 3/14/21 Recent Posts
Hi All, 
Since my last post a little over a month ago I have continued to sit daily for a minimum of 45 minutes to an hour. I feel the consistency has helped me "plow" through the anger/irritable states I found myself in previously. In fact, I will go as far to say that I think a daily consistent meditation is actually helping. I definitely have more "response" time in my mental function to evaluate a situation in the split seconds before automatic response kicks in and be more mindful of my handling of what is unfolding.

This has been a very useful and refreshing skill for me to at least avoid the default angry "trigger". I now find myself in a slightly paradoxical situation hence the title... When I take a mindful moment (Or during a formal sit) I find that as soon as I engage the focus on the breath and lower my gaze I begin to feel sedated. It is a very difficult state to articulate through words or even language so bear with me. This "sedation" is a very lose and almost instantaneous. From my continued experience and investigation it correlates with the lowering of my gaze (closing eyes) I almost at once feel the "sensational" world disconnecting. Not in a "oh holy shit" I am falling into the void kind of disconnect from the senses, more like how it feels during the early stages of getting drunk. The inhibition vanishing slightly and an almost "dulling of the outside of my skull" feeling. It is not unpleasant in any way or affecting me in normal life or even during my sitting. It is a curiosity I am hoping others share? NOTE: (The state can lead very quickly into a sleep like trance which again through investigation seems to be linked to the time I am sitting).

I have read Daniels book and nearly finished Culdasas, I will confess my understanding of them is limited. I have a very do "A" get "B" in this "Defined" time frame outlook on life, so while the background knowledge of the various meditation stages has broadened my horizons I do not proclaim to have had any of the more identifiable markers of each stage arise. (Perhaps I have? I just don't know this is the case?)

​​​​​​​If anybody can conceptualize what I am poorly trying to explain I would be sincerely grateful for any reassurance this is normal or a good/bad sign I am at a specific point in my journey. 
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Kaloyan Stefanov, modified 2 Years ago at 6/30/21 3:43 AM
Created 2 Years ago at 6/30/21 3:43 AM

RE: "Mixing drinks" "Cloudy Mind"

Posts: 83 Join Date: 2/18/21 Recent Posts
Hi BJC,
t is a bit difficult to say for sure, but it doesn't sound like something bad. It sounds like something that has come up for me, especially during specific stages of insights (Dissolution specifically or Dark Night in general), and can also come up when I enter jhanas 3 and above. This is not an attempt to diagnose you into a specific Progress of Insight stage or Jhana.

Does it interfere with your meditation, i.e. do you feel as somehow it is a barrier to furhter progress? If no, then don't worry about it. There are much crazier things that happen for minutes, hours, days, weeks, sometimes even months on and off the cussion emoticon

If yes, you can e.g. switch to eyes open.
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B C, modified 2 Years ago at 6/30/21 8:47 AM
Created 2 Years ago at 6/30/21 8:47 AM

RE: "Mixing drinks" "Cloudy Mind"

Posts: 7 Join Date: 5/2/21 Recent Posts
Hey thanks for the reply, no this state does not affect my meditation, I am worried however the tendancy to "drift" into borderline sleep state may be a negative? I just don't view it as a negative more of a "where I am " in my stage of practice kind of deal. The very scarce and rare pleasent states I have previously experienced seem elusive now. If I push my sit time out for upwards of an hour I can sometimes reach a momentary "bliss" the remainder seem to be this disconnected semi dream like shutting down of my control over the session... Very hard to articulate sorry!
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Kaloyan Stefanov, modified 2 Years ago at 7/2/21 3:36 AM
Created 2 Years ago at 7/2/21 3:36 AM

RE: "Mixing drinks" "Cloudy Mind"

Posts: 83 Join Date: 2/18/21 Recent Posts
Hey, sure, sounds you have a healthy attitude to it. If you don't feel it as a negative it very likely might not be a negative thing for you. Sleepiness/a slightly hazy state might be a problem only if you fail to clearly percieve sensations, or if you literally fall asleep every session.

I personally find hypnogagia/semi-sleepy states to be great for practice. I did and still do a lot of my practice lying in bed immedialy upon waking up or before going to sleep. The conturs of what is ME on this side and what is NOT ME on that other side (before you have fully completely seen through that illusion) tend to naturally be weaker during such states. I had months-long periods of my practice (Dark Nights in particular, if you are familiar with the Progress of Insight stages) where alomost everything was this blurred/sleepy/disjointed state, on the cushion and in daily life as well, and these periods were really key for insight.

I also wouldn't worry about bliss missing and wouldn't explicitly be chacing it. Bliss is nice and all, don't get me wrong. However, a large part of the progress on the insights front is done in periods (hours, days, weeks, months) which for a lot of people are anything but blissfull. That is the nature of meditation. As long as you can stay with sensations, clearly percieve sensations as they arise and pass in this very moment, moment after moment, you are on the right track.

 
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A Dietrich Ringle, modified 2 Years ago at 7/2/21 10:43 AM
Created 2 Years ago at 7/2/21 10:42 AM

RE: "Mixing drinks" "Cloudy Mind"

Posts: 881 Join Date: 12/4/11 Recent Posts
Have you considered doing yoga? I say this because it seems like you are in a stage where it would be helpful. I used to get the drowsy thing that would happen and certain traditions actually embrace this (think "corpse pose").
​​​​​​​I wouldn't worry about being drowsy during meditation, when it's supposed to happen, wakefulness will happen.
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B C, modified 2 Years ago at 7/2/21 10:50 AM
Created 2 Years ago at 7/2/21 10:50 AM

RE: "Mixing drinks" "Cloudy Mind"

Posts: 7 Join Date: 5/2/21 Recent Posts
Yoga!

Yoga sounds intriguing! What would be the recommended starting practice?

​​​​​​​Thanks all for the replys btw 
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A Dietrich Ringle, modified 2 Years ago at 7/2/21 11:18 AM
Created 2 Years ago at 7/2/21 11:18 AM

RE: "Mixing drinks" "Cloudy Mind"

Posts: 881 Join Date: 12/4/11 Recent Posts
Yoga With Adrienne is my mom's recommendation
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