Mental trouble

Edward Cole, modified 1 Year ago at 7/8/21 6:07 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 7/8/21 5:49 AM

Mental trouble

Post: 1 Join Date: 4/1/21 Recent Posts
I woke up from a dream where I realized I ljved two Lives at once and one was completely a fantasy and I was laying by my girlfriend and woke up (in the dream sti but unaware I was dreaming and thought I woke up for real) and then confessed and opened up to her and told her I was schizophrenic. She was loving about it but still I had a panic attack and couldn't breath. Then I woke up for real. But instead of telling her right away what happened I meditated and put my hand over my heart. Gave myself 3 heart pumps like cpr of love.. then layed down next to my girlfriend to give her love and recieve love. But felt like and demon was on me like a night terror demon. After she fell back asleep in the middle of me telling her what happened. Then I placed my hand on my chest ( heart) and my other hand on her back (heart). It helped energy flow. But I want better techniques or tech or magical powers to deal with this kind of stuff. Any advice? Oh then I got her to listen for real. And before I told her the second time ....because it was such a painful and vulnerable situation....I felt the deepest sorrow. The pain and sorrow of this sick culture and how we make crazy people more crazy and we make normal people crazy. I cried like 9 huge tears. I have crazy thoughts sometimes. But I feel like western mental health is behind so I'm here seeking help. But I'm open to all approaches in all healing modalities. Do u have Any advice, questions, comments, concerns, venting you want to do?
Ben V, modified 1 Year ago at 7/8/21 7:02 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 7/8/21 7:02 AM

RE: Mental trouble

Posts: 413 Join Date: 3/3/15 Recent Posts
Your dream and what you say afterward does seem to express that something  is emerging in you that needs to be communicated and heard, communicated to your gf perhaps but also heard by yourself, and heard in a loving/listening environment (your various mention of heart). That something that pushes for emergence seems terrifying to you (panic attack, night terror demon), and I would suggest that you sit with a therapist that gives you a holding space that feels safe to you for taking the time to explore the meaning of what's emerging, with the therapist patiently assisting and supporting you in such exploration.  I'm with you with the critique of Western mental health system, which is often somewhat de-humanizing (treating people like numbers to fix quickly). Many therapists who work in private do not operate with that mental health system mentality (quick mechanical fixes) so if you have the means I would suggest you shop for one you feel comfortable with. One that listens, takes time to form a therapeutic relationship with you.

It is hard to tease out these things on an online Internet group, that's why I suggest face to face help. 

Therapeutic styles that are usually good at listening are object relations psychoanalytic therapy, developmental Jungians, and also some in the humanistic tradition. But again, hard to tease out here what would best help you, including the therapeutic style that would best suit you. 

 Wish you well.