Was that first path?

E O, modified 2 Months ago.

Was that first path?

Posts: 5 Join Date: 7/7/21 Recent Posts
There’s a large part of my cognitive processing that is detached from the maps compared to before. I feel that I maybe in review right now. I was actually pretty unclear about whether I had a stream entry prior to. If so, it was oddly less rapturous than I expected and more "settling into things". I haven't been on retreats but I have encorporated a consistent daily meditation practice for the past month, avg of three to four hours.

I think it was reobservation before when I was collapsing everything that it meant to be "me" and then instantly became painfully clear how empty I actually is. There were holy-shit moments when I started to really undue those last threads, feeling a profound understanding of the misery I've been creating for myself and others. Then in what I think was equanimity for less then a day before possibly fell back into RO and then back to equanimity? Because then I get kinda lost with the fruitions and not sure what I actually experienced following. Idk/idc. After, it became almost instinctual to notice the "reason" for everything, at the sensate level. 

​​​​​​​There is definitely great clarity and acceptance of something that wasn't there before. Like I have passed through or into something. About four days went by of being unsure so I thought a way to test it out was to see if I was in review. It felt like I was clearly able to notice the details of passing through the first three concentration states and then flipped to insight and cycled through everything to equanimity and still not sure if what I'm experiencing are fruitions. But I just noticed this entire cycle rather than experiencing it so much. 

I'm asking for perspective because I was curious about something I read and wasn't sure if I was interpreting it correctly; that having verified attainment from qualified teachers can be helpful. Maybe I was reading incorrectly. 

​​​​​​​Either way, navigating that world is new to me, I'm coming from a unmonastic/virtually-educated perspective. And because where this awakening has been leading me, I know it may make my life a little bit easier when navigating dharma spaces to have that verified attainment, but as for wanting this verification for myself, can't lie, I'm a bit curious but it seems to be void of any need to understand myself or map placement. 

Last time I posted I was pretty confused and quite new to dharma, but I appreciated everyone’s feedback, even those bold enough to tell me what they thought I was or where I was. I investigated deeply and feel that everyone’s comments gave me insight into the nature of. Thank you. 
A. Dietrich Ringle, modified 2 Months ago.

RE: Was that first path?

Posts: 882 Join Date: 12/4/11 Recent Posts
Even if it isn't first path, jhana at that level isn't as clean as it might be later on. It's easier to access, but might be mixed with lower heavenly realm junk. Many people try to compensate for this by trying for the pure land.
Eudoxos ., modified 2 Months ago.

RE: Was that first path?

Posts: 87 Join Date: 4/6/14 Recent Posts
I am happy about the change you practice brought about. I leave to others to diagnose that.

I'd like to share a part of Bill Hamilton's Saints & Psychopaths on the subject of stream-entry, with the hope you find it useful: https://eudoxos.github.io/saints/html/saints.html#stream-winner (the Stream-Winner section, plus a few following one; preceding sections are also worth reading, though not directly related).

Good luck and keep practicing emoticon