If I got jumpscared, this means that I wasn't fully aware?

Matheus Ribeiro de Assis, modified 4 Months ago at 2/3/22 10:34 AM
Created 4 Months ago at 2/3/22 10:31 AM

If I got jumpscared, this means that I wasn't fully aware?

Posts: 7 Join Date: 1/23/22 Recent Posts
I've been meditating for about 10 days, for a total of 20-30 minutes split into 2 or 3 sessions.

Before Lunch I did a 10 minute session, but with a different aproach to awareness. Usually I would actively scan the ambient to expand awareness, I would seek for the nuances of the sounds, feelings and sensations, this would even culminate in the fact that I was projecting the image of the room with my memory (I always do meditation in the same place). In fact, it was this that made me realize that this wasn't exactly "experiencing", but in reality "projecting" inputs mixed with receiving (sounds). I could focus on my breath and remain relaxed observing my thoughts and letting them go.

 Today, instead of actively throwing my attention like a "search drone", I just stood receiving the inputs (in a more passive way) that actually hitted me with sufficient clarity, wich means I was no longer forming the space and walls of the room in my mind, but I was hearing the sounds around without projecting an ambience. I continued handling my thoughts just as before. But now, I was much more introspect, I began seeing random colors and rays popping and vibrating before my eye lids. But when the time was over and my cellphone alarm rang, I got a jumpscare. This didn't used to happen in the other sessions.

So, was I so instrospect that I wasn't exactly in full awareness? But I continued noticing the exterior inputs while in this state, this is what is confusing me.

An interesting fact is that when the sessions are over, I am in a hyper alert state (but relaxed, calm and a quiet mind, nothing like being on cocaine, lol). This time, there wasn't this "hyper alert" state, I was just calm and relaxed with a quiet mind.

The reason that I would throw my awareness trying to reach even farther was because of a video from Mingyur Rinpoche where he conducts a guided meditation. At some points he would tell us to expand our awareness even further "to the clouds", "beyond", etc. So I thought that I should be doing exatcly the opposite.

So, in this late session, do you think that I was less aware than before or not? Wich is the most correct aproach? (I'm trying to follow the forest monk meditation method from Theravada tradition).
Martin, modified 4 Months ago at 2/4/22 2:11 PM
Created 4 Months ago at 2/4/22 2:11 PM

RE: If I got jumpscared, this means that I wasn't fully aware?

Posts: 443 Join Date: 4/25/20 Recent Posts
It seems that you are doing what you should be doing and finding out some things about how the mind works. There is not really a correct or incorrect approach until you settle on a specific technique. When starting out, the technique you choose might not be as important as the time you spend. You could pick one technique such as the noting method described at www.mctb.org, or you could try out different techniques for a month or so each. Don't worry about the details at this point, just keep practicing and noticing what happens. 
Matheus Ribeiro de Assis, modified 4 Months ago at 2/11/22 8:10 AM
Created 4 Months ago at 2/11/22 8:10 AM

RE: If I got jumpscared, this means that I wasn't fully aware?

Posts: 7 Join Date: 1/23/22 Recent Posts
I see...
In fact, I'm regressing, rather than progressing, but I thinks that might be part of the way

Breadcrumb