Changes in sexuality as a byproduct of insight practice?

Joshua N, modified 3 Months ago at 3/17/22 12:34 PM
Created 3 Months ago at 3/16/22 7:56 PM

Changes in sexuality as a byproduct of insight practice?

Posts: 4 Join Date: 11/15/20 Recent Posts
Hello all, I'll try to keep this relatively brief. Here are my meditation experiences: Goenka-style Vipassana meditation for 2 years, which then led me into noting practice, and have also introduced direct inquiry (exploration of no-self, via Liberation Unleashed) over the last 8 months. I have had an experience which might be considered an A&P, but not 100% certain as it was a little mild compared to others' accounts. However, after diving heavily into Direct Inquiry of no-self, there is definitely a new relationship with the body-mind and thoughts. 

Here's the actual question: Has anyone else experienced a change in sexual preferences/sexuality due to meditative practices? Has meditation positively or negatively affected your sex life? 

Backstory:
I have been experiencing some difficulties lately in connecting with my sexuality and being intimate with my partner. This is a rather new partner of several months, and although I feel very emotionally connected to them, and I feel sexual chemistry with them, there seems to be "something holding me back" to be fully embodied sexually. There is probably a psychological component to this, as I discuss with my therapist, and that is not the reason I am posting this question. 

I have also felt a shift in my sexual drive and what exictes me. Things that excited me before, for example; imagery, pornography, or even just the aesthetics of someone whom I'd usually find attractive, do not have the same effect as they once did. I do not feel as attracted to the physical characteristics of one's body. Things that used to get me aroused do not anymore. Sometimes I feel great sexual energy traveling through the body, either when engaging with the partner or alone. Yet at other times this shift has me feeling quite Asexual, as it feels like "I" don't "know myself" anymore - Which I understand is a little problematic to say in the context of no-self

Perhaps the shift into seeing no-self more regularly and seeing thoughts as thoughts has changed my relationship with sexuality? Perhaps this is a beginning of a Dukkha Nana? Perhaps this is part of a stage prior to A&P? Or perhaps this has nothing to do with the path whatsoever? 

I am not asking for sexual advice. Rather, has anyone else experienced a change in sexual preferences/sexuality due to meditative practices? Has meditation negatively (or positively) affected your sex life? 

With love, 
JN
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Sigma Tropic, modified 3 Months ago at 3/17/22 1:07 PM
Created 3 Months ago at 3/17/22 1:07 PM

RE: Changes in sexuality as a byproduct of insight practice?

Posts: 331 Join Date: 6/27/17 Recent Posts
 
Here's the actual question: Has anyone else experienced a change in sexual preferences/sexuality due to meditative practices? Has meditation positively or negatively affected your sex life? 

1) straight before, straight after
2) Positively

With those simple answers in place I think from what you you're worried that meditation will neuter you is that off base?

We can sometimes have a process of getting used to a different way of relating to ourself and others as a result of insight and meditative practices, and during that process we may relate to sexuality in an unbalanced way. I would say what you're experiencing is probably not all that abnormal and seems to me like a transient phase and nothing to pathologize. A basic drive is sex and creation and it's not wrong and you have to understand the creative force and respect it. When that basic drive seems to be different it can be alarming but I would reassure you that this doesn't sound too crazy to me and your awareness that this may have something to do with practice is understandable and makes sense.  

In terms of your concerns I would reassure you that you're not crazy but I would also challenge you to be authentic about this aspect of your being and how you relate to it, not "expecting" problems or differences per say but rather just going with the flow of experience and paying attention to how you are relating to this aspect of self. I would caution to be careful about fabricating some special story about yourself and being awake and your sexuality. There is a lot of good stuff in there but only you can use this confusion as a catalyst for your own awakening. The charge of self is strong with sexuality and that is why it can be very valuable to investigate the the sense of self in the context of sexual drives. 

If there seems to be a problem beyond the insight aspect then don't hesitate to look into lifestyle and dietary factors, pharmaceutical options, sexual therapy, and self-help books on relating to the opposite sex. There are also plenty of great books out there on energy transmutation, sexual practices, and the likes.  

Hope this helps in some way.  

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