RE: Been in an in between place for 4 days

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Tara Benares, modified 17 Days ago at 6/16/22 4:54 PM
Created 17 Days ago at 6/16/22 4:54 PM

Been in an in between place for 4 days

Posts: 22 Join Date: 5/25/22 Recent Posts
Hi everyone, 

So I have been in an in between state in my home and haven't been able to contact people but they can contact me. 

I had some kind of choice and mainly I would just like to be with my child part. I don't want it to be hurt. So I chose that part not the part that was promising greatness and harnessing my intelligence because I didn't trust it because it didn't sound like me. 

I might have died Tuesday morning? This was after the day I kept tripping between moments. My breathing got really shallow and things started unravelling. 

I was mostly sleeping and seeing bits of other fates? I was giving instructions and being given instructions on what I had to do. 
Then the wheel that I have been driving got turned and different possibilities got played out. 

I was privy to some parts but not to others because it's not my karma. 

when I'd get perturbed about what was going on and if I should call in sick at work I was reassured that I hold every position and it's being done somewhere. I also had right view so nothing to worry about? 

I got a memory back of being a child and following the lights. I would look at the ceiling light and unfocus so there were beams of light coming towards me and I would pretend to follow them. 
when I'd close my eyes I would see shifting colours and like I was travelling through space. 

I started doing fire kasina practice after learning I had adhd because it helped me get in touch with my emotions. 

I also have inbuilt programming like 
- I cannot take anything and I can give nothing 
- I can only give love but but receive it 
- I have intelligence but I cannot use it to benefit me etc etc. 

There has been a rumbling in my brain like something is being worked out. 

Is this a streamentry thing? Do I need to get guidance? Mostly I just wanted to be able to concentrate. 

I'm just confused about whether I'm supposed to do something but it looks like things are going back to normal. 
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Papa Che Dusko, modified 17 Days ago at 6/17/22 12:39 AM
Created 17 Days ago at 6/17/22 12:39 AM

RE: Been in an in between place for 4 days

Posts: 2459 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Posts
After reading your post a thought came up; 

- Contact Daniel Ingram and have a one on one talk with him. He seem to readily meet up with practitioners via video chat and so far people only have good things to say about meetings with him. His email is on this web page. 

​​​​​​​Best wishes! 
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Tara Benares, modified 17 Days ago at 6/17/22 1:35 AM
Created 17 Days ago at 6/17/22 1:35 AM

RE: Been in an in between place for 4 days

Posts: 22 Join Date: 5/25/22 Recent Posts
Thank you Papa Che - it's confusing because I'm not really Buddhist but I wanted to stop suffering. 
It's not that I don't agree with the principles, my knowledge just isn't that great. 
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Papa Che Dusko, modified 16 Days ago at 6/17/22 8:35 AM
Created 16 Days ago at 6/17/22 8:35 AM

RE: Been in an in between place for 4 days

Posts: 2459 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Posts
Daniel Ingram is not-Buddhist. I have a feeling the two of you might click well in conversation. emoticon 

It can be confusing to be in this situation of yours and leaning into Power Realms. I think talking to Ingram might resolve this situation for you, or give a more stable direction practice wise. I don't think concentration is of benefit to you right now as it can push you more into the Power Realms which can cause more confusion than awakening. 

Your decision of course. 
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Tara Benares, modified 16 Days ago at 6/17/22 11:07 AM
Created 16 Days ago at 6/17/22 11:07 AM

RE: Been in an in between place for 4 days

Posts: 22 Join Date: 5/25/22 Recent Posts
Thanks Papa Che - I thought I understood what I was supposed to do medically but then all of a sudden all this stuff started to happen. 

It's Friday afternoon anyway and the sun is out so I'm going to go out and get some ice cream. 
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Papa Che Dusko, modified 16 Days ago at 6/17/22 3:30 PM
Created 16 Days ago at 6/17/22 3:30 PM

RE: Been in an in between place for 4 days

Posts: 2459 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Posts
Have a good one! emoticon 

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