RE: Help?

Nuna Yabiz Niz, modified 10 Days ago at 6/20/22 5:32 PM
Created 10 Days ago at 6/20/22 5:32 PM

Help?

Posts: 3 Join Date: 10/30/21 Recent Posts
Hey, 
I'm currently going through hell. Living through a genuinely real-world horror. Feeling close to the edge, and not in a good way. 
I have a psychologist, all the support lines I require, my training and prior work was in treating people going through exactly what I am now, so there's a good degree of formal, clinical protocol knowledge-based recommendations in my mind, but acting on them all is a different thing. 
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Guess I'm just reaching out on a site that I perceive to be based on my favourite brand of good, e.g.: secular; prioritising the pursuit of truth now over what was written about it yesterday, etc. 
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Aside from all the normal, formal, official stuff that I already have setup, what recommendations for crises do you have? 

When things fall apart has been a helpful text in the past, for example. But anything. Any UK based retreat centres (that aren't expensive). Any people in the UK or online who'd be happy to Skype, etc. Whatever. And no worries if none of it is appropriate. 
Stephen, modified 10 Days ago at 6/20/22 9:30 PM
Created 10 Days ago at 6/20/22 9:30 PM

RE: Help?

Posts: 25 Join Date: 1/5/17 Recent Posts
I don't have any specific recommendations other than I know Daniel Ingram (the founder of this forum, in case you're not familiar with him) has skyped with lots of people in your position over the years and so I would recommend reaching out to him and I know he also has quite a broad network including in the UK (I believe) so perhaps he could connect you with someone who could help you in the UK. Other than that I just wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough time right now. I hope it begins to relent. For me, when I've run into difficult terrain the thing that has helped most is to recalling that this too shall pass, reminding myself that this is impermanent. It's not always immediate relief but it gives me some perspective that takes me away from the worst catastrophizing my mind is capable of doing in those dark moments. Anything comforting, warm showers, walks, conversations with friends, loved ones, anything like that can be helpful. Seeking professional help as well as you are doing is a great thing because there are times when that has been critical for me as well. You aren't in this alone.
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Dream Walker, modified 9 Days ago at 6/21/22 4:34 AM
Created 9 Days ago at 6/21/22 4:34 AM

RE: Help?

Posts: 1430 Join Date: 1/18/12 Recent Posts
Nuna Yabiz Niz
Hey, 
I'm currently going through hell. Living through a genuinely real-world horror. Feeling close to the edge, and not in a good way. 
I have a psychologist, all the support lines I require, my training and prior work was in treating people going through exactly what I am now, so there's a good degree of formal, clinical protocol knowledge-based recommendations in my mind, but acting on them all is a different thing. 
-
Guess I'm just reaching out on a site that I perceive to be based on my favourite brand of good, e.g.: secular; prioritising the pursuit of truth now over what was written about it yesterday, etc. 
-
Aside from all the normal, formal, official stuff that I already have setup, what recommendations for crises do you have? 

When things fall apart has been a helpful text in the past, for example. But anything. Any UK based retreat centres (that aren't expensive). Any people in the UK or online who'd be happy to Skype, etc. Whatever. And no worries if none of it is appropriate. 
In your last post I recommended reading about the A&P in MCTB -

https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iv-insight/30-the-progress-of-insight/4-the-arising-and-passing-away/

What comes next is the Dark night  section -
https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iv-insight/30-the-progress-of-insight/5-dissolution-entrance-to-the-dark-night/
The Knowledges of Suffering, aka Dark Night or dukkha ñanas

5.Knowledge of Dissolution (ñ5)3rd jhana
6.Knowledge of Fear (ñ6)3rd jhana
7.Knowledge of Misery (ñ7)3rd jhana
8.Knowledge of Disgust (ñ8)3rd jhana
9.Knowledge of Desire for Deliverance
(ñ9, DfD)
3rd jhana
10. Knowledge of Re-observation (ñ10, Re-obs)

Please read it, as that is definitely where you are at.

Today I went thru the dark night territory again for at least a multiple of some hundredth of times.
I have to say that it was a real bad one. I can not remember how long it has been since it was so amazingly bad.
This is not my first time at the rodeo, In fact the clowns hold me down so the bull can stomp me sometimes, but I know that this too shall pass just like every time in the past and as I type this now, so it has. It was horrible, again. It passed, again.
I called a friend and that helped a bit, I cried and looked at my meaningless life and wondered why I even tried. Everything was complete shit, disgusting, cried more. I couldn't do anything but sit it out, knowing that I should meditate to speed it up.  I was unable.
Hope this helps a little. Trust me, you will come out the other side as I have done hundreds of times.

If you want to vid with me, I'd be happy to give it a shot, but not on skype, google vid or some other thing.
Good luck,
~D
Nuna Yabiz Niz, modified 8 Days ago at 6/22/22 11:29 AM
Created 8 Days ago at 6/22/22 11:29 AM

RE: Help?

Posts: 3 Join Date: 10/30/21 Recent Posts
Thanks for the input all. 

Just to clarify, this is more in relation to the objective rather than the subjective world (I know, I know, duality is illusory, etc. but it's also quite real). I've suffered several traumas that are all ongoing, in the real world.