So I never thought of my recent problems this way until coming across this site and Daniel's Book and video's on Vimeo. So anyways, over the last 2-3 years I have been in an awful funk. Dizzy all the time, crazy anxiety, etc... and I am usually a really chill, easy going person. Throughout my problem phase I am going through, I have gone through different phases, for example where I will go to doctors, to try to have them find any health problems (I have major allergies and asthma is all really)

Now, over the past year I dropped all western meds and started going to my accupuncturist and started eating gluten free etc.. Then I started getting into meditation (not insight but concentration, see my first thread here: http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/2347783) I started to feel a bit better then just recently in the last couple months got slammed with anxiety again, almost debilitating. Started to see a therapist for a bit, then went back to my ENT etc to get back on allergy meds etc... See my cycle.

Although I never feel like I have had any A&P events or done any real insight practice, is it possible this funk is the Dark Night? If so, are some of the meditation experiences I am having in the above post, be anything more like A&P vs 1st jhana?

I may be over-thinking this, but if you think I may be in th Dark Night, armed with this knowledge and never doing insight practice, how would I go about pushing through this phase? Start from square one with insight practice? Continue my concentration practice?

Thanks for the help.

Hi Russell -




Have you read the [url=http://web.mac.com/danielmingram/iWeb/Daniel%20Ingram's%20Dharma%20Blog/The%20Blook/740E1DCD-75A5-4859-8530-13214BE1BA33.html]Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha chapter 25 on Stages 5-10?

If not, maybe have a close careful read and see what you think.

I will say that the crest of my "dark night" experience was characterized by physical sickness, and, like you, I found tibetan guidebooks at about the same time - but felt too sick and was sleeping all the time with a constant low fever to read the books with any consistency. I made similar dietary changes as you, and then I realized I needed to tackle anxiety.

Keep in mind that anxiety forms a neurological loop feeding itself ("HPA disregulation") - if you do not actively start cutting back at it, it grows to fill one's time. Exercise that increases heart rate for a bit is very helpful (swimming, running) - exercise is THE first macro tool I would use on anxiety. You might check out J. Medina's book "Brain Rules", too, or excerpts from his book online. Consider a Tibetan buddhist view of karma - karma simply describes a matter of perspective: what you perceive now is what you will perceive in the future; if anxiety is allowed to color your perception now, your perception in the future will be colored by anxiety.

Apply toe tibetan concept of "emaho" (sanskrit for "delight and wonder") - consider spending no less than five minutes a day in a pleasant place apply emaho perspective (cultivate delight and wonder).

Thereafter or in conjunction with exercise, there are many fine tuning things to do (slow traditional stretching yoga (not so much the strengthening yoga at the beginning and not the "flow" yoga popular in the West these days as that involves lots of muscle contractions versus slow stretches which allow for muscle spindle release. Here is THE dude, Ray Long MD, for getting into classic yoga with body awareness and spindle utility - this page's description of Uttanasana is simple and beautiful. Stay very gentle-no ego with yourself. If you can relax into stretches for two minutes (or approach two minutes over a period of days) and use your breathe to stay in gentle, active effort and to focus your mind, then two minutes is generally how much time the muscle spindles need to do their release from contraction (and you get to feel goooood). Long slow deep breathes. Gentle. You don't even need "yoga", just stretch your body in ways you can sustain with comfortable effort and deep breathing for about two minutes (4 simple yoga poses for a total of 10 minutes: downward facing dog, cow-cat, Ardha Matsyendrasana - you be your own expert, but you can read about these on Yoga Journal.)

Thanks so much for the response. I will re-read those chapters and then work on the stretches you spoke about. Regardless of whether I am in DN does not matter, but I am sure I can benefit from some yoga.

You bet, Russell. DhO got me through the Knowledges of Suffering, and, unlike you, I expressed my passage through it rather aggressively, arrogantly, and thrashingly on a few occasions.

I just want to be really simple and redundant here. Perhaps a single, most useful concept to keep in mind during "dark night" (if that is where you determine yourself to be) is something along the lines of:
[indent]committing yourself to gentleness and healthfulness for yourself during every single harsh thought-feeling[/indent]

It is very easy to get caught up in any difficult emotions of "dark night" and, consequently, to take harsh actions, or to take a gentle practice and accidentally get harsh with it (one of my yoga teachers who is well versed medically and has logged tens of thousands of yoga hours injured himself for one year in one moment of attitude with himself).

Best wishes!

[edit 1: one format edit]

[edit 2: oh, yeah and have SOME form of stable practice so you get through this. See the recommendations in MCTB then bring it here (if you like), other skilled meditators can help you with your practice through dark night]

Russel,

when I had a DN I once did what is advised:
Noting for 20 min which kicked me into equanimity. It worked.
Understand that this is not concentration but insight/vipassana.

Of course, if you´re seriously depressed you´ll may find it difficult to pull yourself together to do that.

Also, seeing a therapist "a bit" might not be enough, you may need more time.

Sven

Forgot that I posted this over here. But I thought this may help other in the same situation. So, I decided after reading a blog post from Shinzen Young on the DN that I could handle the it if I work at it and know what is going on. I have defintely been in the DN for some time and through my 8-10 months of concentration practices, crossed the A&P (I thought the raptures were 1st jhana) for sure this time and started Dark Nighting.

So, I sought out a teacher (Ron Crouch) and here is my progress so far:

http://kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/thread/4810786/Russell%27s+practice+thread