SE practice thread

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A man Not there yet, modified 12 Years ago at 12/21/11 2:25 PM
Created 12 Years ago at 12/21/11 2:25 PM

SE practice thread

Posts: 23 Join Date: 12/10/11 Recent Posts
Practice: 3 step noting out loud. Noting when off the cushion

History: did a goenka retreat 2007. Otherwise a major slacker in practice. Found that kenneths 3 step technique suits me best when I am not on retreat, it is the only one where I establish a steady pace and can develop some rythmn. Starting now as a semi beginner in insight practice. Have been following Buddhism for about 18 yrs now. 31 yrs old at present.

Will start posting the mundane semi daily log of practice. These are from my iPhone, so they are a bit disjointed. Will be going on a 4-5 unguided retreat on Saturday. Not sure how much practice I will get in as I may have to help out around the temple.

28/11/11
Smoothness in noting, pleasant feelings returned, like Smoothness. Noting continued but was fed Up with smoothness Of feeling And Noting became harder and more Disjointed because I could not stick to what was happening rather was Trying
To feel out where I am On the maps. continued to note nevertheless.
Frustrated at the end because alarm was not set properly. 

29/11/11
Hoping that pleasant feelings would return and was dissapointed that it did not. Kept noting nevertheless, tried to see the end of each phenomena, but did not really get much from it. Could feel some momentum from time to time, had many doubts and wanted to stop the meditation many times but kept going.

1/12/11
Noted the usual abrasiveess- unpleasant- mind state cycle. Went on noting although mind states changed. Sometimes I would get fed up and wanted to end but continued. Then the feelings turned very light and my noting cycle broke down because I was surprised and wanted to hold onto the good feeling. I had a nagging feeling that time was up and this gave me an excuse to break up the session. There was one min to go. I am now clear that noting must continue and not to break up the rythmn even if pleasant feelings come, just keep the noting cycle going.
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A man Not there yet, modified 12 Years ago at 12/21/11 2:34 PM
Created 12 Years ago at 12/21/11 2:34 PM

RE: SE practice thread

Posts: 23 Join Date: 12/10/11 Recent Posts
This I wrote on the comp.

14/12/11 06:35 - 07:00

Noted in 3s (sensation, pleasent/unpleasent/neutral, mind state)
Nothing much. A lot of thinking. Just kept on noting in 3s. Noticed that I would get caught up in thinking, imagining and fantasizing, and when this occurs there is a strong pull of excitement and thrill. Can get caught up in this quite easily. Nothing else I picked up on other than this.

Was frustrated that I was not progressing fast enough.

Daily Life practice - sometime if I have time I can build rhythm. Can't really develop a rhythm when I am working, can note a little here and there. Often I feel that I cannot be bothered or am actually too fatigued to note. When I do develop a rhythm I am surprised that I can anticipate a thought or see it end and disappear. Am trying to get more interested in this present moment in order to take my practice further. My major problem is the habitual action to seek distraction through sensual satisfaction such as surfing the web for countless news articles while at work, listening to music whilst at home etc.
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A man Not there yet, modified 12 Years ago at 12/22/11 2:06 PM
Created 12 Years ago at 12/22/11 2:06 PM

RE: SE practice thread

Posts: 23 Join Date: 12/10/11 Recent Posts
23/12/11 06:35 - 07:00

Usual session. Noted out loud in 3 steps. Particularly at the beginning mind states were difficult to note. Kept on noting in 3s and a rhythm was developing. When this happens the normal abrasiveness that around my forehead died down and a pleasant sensation of relief came on.

Mouth was dry due to noting so drank a sip of water, tried to note mentally whilst doing this but the rhythm broke down somewhat and it takes more momentum for it to recover.

Thats all.
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A man Not there yet, modified 12 Years ago at 12/25/11 12:08 AM
Created 12 Years ago at 12/25/11 12:08 AM

RE: SE practice thread

Posts: 23 Join Date: 12/10/11 Recent Posts
I am at a self retreat at a buddhist monastery in the country. Hardly any reception so don't know if I cam post again whilst I am here. Posting from my phone. Get to meditate approximately 10 hrs a day here and there, with a break at lunch to help clean up. Will be here till 17:00 28/12/11. Here's the log so far

24/12/11

Beat session was in the car driving to the monastery. Don't know where on the map it was but there was periods of rapture when I could focus. Will expand on this later.

After helping to make lunch, At about 2 I started again, but could not get into any rhythm. Had a an abrasive pain in the forehead and was comparing it to my earlier session and was fed up. So I just gave up and slept till 17:22 after about an hour of fruitless trying.

17:25 - 21:00
Practiced in 30 mins blocks and shifted position from chair to mediation cushion to bed. Was hoping for more pleasant sensations but was stuck with the usual abrasiveness around the forehead. Was really fed up towards the end. Wanted to quit. Noting in 3s became so repetitive, e.g abrasive (around forehead), unpleasant, disgust. This accounted for about 10-20% of noting which is pretty bloody repetitious. 

Will read a few more notes I saved and try to make sure j am disembedding rather doing something by route. Also will try to keep on going without straining too hard.

25/12/11

04:30 -06:00

Practiced in 30 min blocks. Tried to make sure I noticed something before I noted it. Seemed to get a little more "traction" than before but nothing much happened. noticed how cold it was in the morning and moved to the bed at then end in order to stay warm, which just made things dull. Now going to star a little nit of walking meditation to get a little invigorated.

06:00 - 10:00 

Walking meditation helped. Tried to make sure I was not becoming embedded but I don't think I'm progressing much

13:00 - 16:00

Noting in 3s was not doing much. I had a really annoying throbbing abrasive feeling in the forehead. Switched to scanning in this area and it makes a difference. Made sure I played close attention to the endings as much as possible. I "felt" I was getting somewhere the first few sessions but things became routine again. 
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A man Not there yet, modified 12 Years ago at 12/27/11 11:33 PM
Created 12 Years ago at 12/27/11 11:33 PM

RE: SE practice thread

Posts: 23 Join Date: 12/10/11 Recent Posts
26/12/11

05:30 - 10:15

Noted in 3s but when thoughts or images came up noted these also. Remembered to aim noting from a 3rd person neutral position as much as possible. This was all I am trying to do as I don't have other skills and trying to make sure one is disembedding as much as possible seem to be the building blocks of insight practice in the noting method.

Nothing interesting occurred other than the fact the abrasive throbbing pain at times was much more diminished or not there at all during the day and when I am practicing

27/12/11 

Nothing out of the ordinary occurred in the morning.

14:30 - 18:00

In one sit had a period of going through  the normal noting patter. Noted progressively more unpleasant sensations like disgust. This fell away and I was left with a very smooth pleasant sensations but found increasingly difficult to note any sensations, emotions, thoughts etc. They kind of slid away as soon as I tried to note them, so it was more difficult to disembed from phenomena. Not sure if this correlates to any of the stages.

18:30 - 21:00

Nothing unusual. Quite fatigued towards the end.
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A man Not there yet, modified 12 Years ago at 12/29/11 2:20 PM
Created 12 Years ago at 12/29/11 2:20 PM

RE: SE practice thread

Posts: 23 Join Date: 12/10/11 Recent Posts
Noted when I could yesterday at work. I am sure this is an after effect from coming from a retreat but I could feel a sense of space when I noted, the sense of disembedding had a little more space before the mind starts crowding out with various phenomena.

Tried Nikolai's technique of Candle meditation (google yogi toolbox kasina if anyone is interested).

- colour

- shape

- movement

- perceiving

I did it not to achieve a samatha jhana but to check if it would help my noting pratice. I only did it for about 9mins of kasina practice then 6 mins of noting. I have to say, that maybe I could percieve endings a bit better, it might be my imagination or a pseudo (not the right word on tip of my tongue, u know sugar pill that decreases blood pressure when given to a control group in a clinical trial) effect. I will definitely do a few more longer session to see if there is an effect which is useful.
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A man Not there yet, modified 12 Years ago at 1/29/12 2:10 PM
Created 12 Years ago at 1/29/12 2:10 PM

RE: SE practice thread

Posts: 23 Join Date: 12/10/11 Recent Posts
After a long time, about a month, I am posting again regarding practice. I have been slacking off because I falsely thought that I would do about 2 hrs a day of practice because I had intended it, but I failed to put any meaningful effort and was caught up in my own stories, philosophication and useless analysis. So I am now understanding why actually engaging in a task is equally as important as formulating a strategy.

Used the metronome for about 24 mins this morning. Normally I use 27 bpm when sitting. Experimented using 45 bpm for noting and I felt it was too rushed. This morning our family dog that stays at my parents came and started licking me and broke up my practice. He walked over my phone and the metronome was adjusted to a hectic 63 mins. I decided after this to tty this out, noting was difficult and I switched to just noticing sensations and noting "dat". Using "dat" was too cumbersome and I kept it to just noticing. I could do this for about 8 mins but I felt spaced out, felt that I did not have a proper connection to sensations and was just trying to keep up with the metronome.

Then I adjusted the metronome back to 27 bpm and started noting. I felt there was now a lot more space and I noticed things a lot quicker and easier, such that 27 bpm was not fast enough. Interesting.
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A man Not there yet, modified 12 Years ago at 1/31/12 2:08 PM
Created 12 Years ago at 1/31/12 2:08 PM

RE: SE practice thread

Posts: 23 Join Date: 12/10/11 Recent Posts
49 mins 06:08 – 06:57

Set the metronome for 45 bpm. Although I felt rushed I maintained awareness and noted in 3s as much possible. This would sometime vary into noting whatever I could because the pace was fast. Developed rhythm until about 25-30 min mark. Felt a warmth and relaxing of the body and mind. After the 30 min mark I think I lacked concentration. The pace became overwhealming and I felt I was not really noticing what I was noting. Felt like I was embedding into what was going on, I started noting thoughts much more because I was getting attached to them and wanting to carry on a story (this was the sense that I was getting embedded into what was happening).

So I should restrict my sittings into 30 mins. Alternatively I could note for 30 mins then do Kasina practice for 5 mins and then go back to noting.
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A man Not there yet, modified 12 Years ago at 2/16/12 2:15 PM
Created 12 Years ago at 2/16/12 2:15 PM

RE: SE practice thread

Posts: 23 Join Date: 12/10/11 Recent Posts
17/02/12

I am now going to work exclusively on concentration as a guide.

A few concise points of instruction:

- Developing skill of the mind directing itself onto the present moment, through an object, simply repeatedly brining the mind back to the present moment again and again or through perceiving where the mind is being directed.

- Direct the mind to pay attention to the object

- Paying attention to the perception, paying attention to the percieving

- Building up the momentum or keeping the momentum during the day in concentration excersises. At all times. Particularly in the most mundane situations

Today:
Kasina – Looking at a white tea plate for 45 mins 06:15 - 07:00

Was sometime able to see the mind perceiving the looking at the plate from time to time or perceiving being distracted. Noticed little more easily the mind being distracted. Funny perceptions in view of the plate occurred but not completely seeing the plate disappear. More like seeing it shift slightly in shape or noticing the eye was playing around with the intensity of the colour. The more I brought the attentions back from wavering in stories or day dreams the longer attention stayed on the plate, I was not doing this too forcefully as a gentle repeated direction done with a sense letting things follow (letting a result occur from the effort and not trying to force what I want to occur) works well.
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Nikolai , modified 12 Years ago at 2/16/12 2:26 PM
Created 12 Years ago at 2/16/12 2:26 PM

RE: SE practice thread

Posts: 1677 Join Date: 1/23/10 Recent Posts
A man Not there yet:

- Paying attention to the perception, paying attention to the percieving


"What I mean by 'the sense of seeing' is, literally, what it is to experience seeing directly; to perceive is to be engaged in a lively activity and is what is meant by paying attention. Yet, such attention is likely to tend toward proliferating stories and fabrications, from persistent reflection and mental commentary on one hand (when concentration is weak and/or scattered) to outright hallucination on the other (when concentration is powerful and/or focused). Those proliferations are to be avoided. How may these proliferations be avoided? By otherwise engaging the proliferating tendency. How may the proliferating tendency be otherwise engaged? By applying the mind further. To what further apply the mind? To the apprehension (of more) of what is happening. What more is happening (that is not yet engaged)? The apprehension of (the apprehension of) perception itself.

To apprehend perception directly is necessarily also to apprehend that apprehension is occurring, and to experience in such a manner is to experience cleanly and clearly, entirely engagedly and encompassedly, incuding the bodily sense of such experience. To see not just what the eye sees but what it is to see is therefore to see cleanly and clearly, entirely engagedly and encompassedly, including the bodily sense of such seeing. Seeing in this manner engages the energies which otherwise fuel the proliferating tendency, and so avoids such proliferation. Further, experiencing seeing as a bodily sense leads to deeper insight into what the body is, and what perceiving is." Tarin
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A man Not there yet, modified 12 Years ago at 2/20/12 4:12 AM
Created 12 Years ago at 2/20/12 4:12 AM

RE: SE practice thread

Posts: 23 Join Date: 12/10/11 Recent Posts
Thanks heaps for the pointers Nick. I have been trying to apply the mind further in perceiving perception. I can only do this when sitting or have a lot of free time (5-10mins) during daily life. I will explore this as much as I can and keep going back to your pointer. It is illuminating and helpful.

Otherwise over the wkend I did not practice as much as I wanted to. My mindset at home is fixed in a loop. I cannot get out of it unless I make an effort and find tasks for myself to do. Kodo Sawaki pithy comment sums up this mindset – “What have you ever thought about except eatinag and fucking?” and I would add surfing the net, youtube, music, news sites, playing compgames and just being distracted instead of focused. My mind at home is continually in seeking a distraction in the hope of finding fulfillment; even 2 hrs of pleasurable occupation is worthwhile in this state.

I am determined to change this mindset when at home and adopt the more positive mindset towards practice.

Regardless I wrote this down on the phone this morning.

30 mins 08:12-08:45
Samatha - looking at point in front
Surpirse at stopping of thought and ability to come back from proliferation of thinking once distracted
Able to perceive perceiving from time to time, interesting, nervous, pleasant and fearful that I would "lose myself". There is a natural drawing in of wanting be perceiving perception, and it does leave with more energy to stay with observant with a sense of curiosity.

At work I abandon the desire to follow "sense desire and avoid pressure " and when i home do follow this desire 24/7, pursuit of this mentality renders momentary attention meaningless.

Mindset at work = pursue set tasks = better for practice.

At present I cannot make more than 30 second – 1 minute observation of the present moment at work. It is not as easy as noting because I have so much proliferation of thinking going into my work, in comparison to sitting I cannot perceive perceiving except for a few short moments, maybe a total of no more than 4 times at work.
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A man Not there yet, modified 12 Years ago at 2/25/12 10:13 PM
Created 12 Years ago at 2/25/12 10:13 PM

RE: SE practice thread

Posts: 23 Join Date: 12/10/11 Recent Posts
My mistake in not updating this diary. I have forgotten some of my practice that transpired since Monday. Will write a brief summary now. This weekend I have not been able to practice as much I want. Was not able to do anything yesterday (saturday).

Pratice:

- Practicing being present and perceiving perception. Usually do sitting practice of staring at a plate or a point in front of me. Tried using mantra of amituofo when working, this did not work so well until about Thursday when I synchronised the mantra with my breathing. However it is difficult for me to perceive perception when doing this. I perceive perception at all when working on a task that requires a lot of thinking or decision making.

Formal sitting is about 30-40 mins a day. One day (yesterday) I did not do anything at all.

Results:

- I have been able to perceive perception regularly during sitting pratice. And sometimes during the day. Staring at a plate has been the most effective practice so far. I have been able to completely ignore thoughts at time during sitting practice. I am not sure if it is ignoring thoughts or the thoughts do not come up. And when I have been distracted I have been able to get back to attention without any hassles. I can now stare at a plate or at a point in front of me and focus attention on it and after a few moments perceiving me paying attention. I can do this for a few moments until this phenomenon falls away. And then I start again.

- In doing this I can see the thoughts and feeling, emotions are not me on a regular basis. It not so much seeing this but seeing that thoughts have no grounding, no place that comes up with thoughts in a rational logical manner. And then going on to ignore thoughts as much as possible .

- There were two clear incidents where I saw that I am definitely not my thoughts or the general mind stream that chatters on throughout the day. This was immediately followed on by the conclusion that worrying about thoughts and mental chatter was an utter waste of time and that there was no real "I". This has only happened to me twice before, once when I was concentrating on the breath doing sitting meditation about 10 years ago and another time at a Goenka retreat.
The effect of this is it has strengthened my resolve to real stay with my practice and take whatever steps I can do achieve stream entry. It has also strengthened my resolve to study for my career and to make a sincere effort to change my mindset in order to be present as much as possible.

All in all the glimpses of results that I could see on a retreat have occurred more frequently within the last week than at any time in my life. As such I am more interested in seeing how far I can progress.

Mindset:

- Establishing a mindset has been difficult during the start of the week. It is much easier to do whilst at work than at home. My mindset at work is to get things done so I am already more present. When at home I just want to veg out and even when I am doing chores like mowing the lawn I am thinking of the next thing I can waste my time on. As such, this is a key area where I can work on. I am thinking that I can just adopt the mindset I have at work and this will help the effort in paying attention to the present. This will primarily be done through noticing the breath and combining it with chanting amitufo.

- At work I have been able to bring the mindset of paying attention to the present in fits and spurts. Maybe lasting 10 mins every 2-3 hrs. I really enjoy the sense of achievement and progress this brings.

Problems:

- When talking to others and conversing I always lose my practice of paying attention.
- It is difficult to pay attention to the present at home, particularly as there is so much more talking that occurs at home.
- The mindset problem at home is really hard to combat.
- It is way more difficult to perceive perception when noticing the breath and chanting as opposed to staring at a plate or a point in front of me. I am somewhat able to now, but only very weakly.
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katy steger,thru11615 with thanks, modified 12 Years ago at 2/26/12 3:58 AM
Created 12 Years ago at 2/26/12 3:58 AM

RE: SE practice thread

Posts: 1740 Join Date: 10/1/11 Recent Posts
- It is difficult to pay attention to the present at home, particularly as there is so much more talking that occurs at home.
- The mindset problem at home is really hard to combat.
Presuming home is a safe place and the talk is not abusive, then making oneself 100% receptive to the talking (i.e., embody 'listening') is often useful (to talker and listener).

You can become 100% receptive listener (asserting nothing except perhaps forming a very light friendly base, or neutral) using this insight:
This was immediately followed on by the conclusion that worrying about thoughts and mental chatter was an utter waste of time and that there was no real "I".
Good luck.
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A man Not there yet, modified 12 Years ago at 3/29/12 3:07 AM
Created 12 Years ago at 3/29/12 3:07 AM

RE: SE practice thread

Posts: 23 Join Date: 12/10/11 Recent Posts
Thanks heaps for the tip katy. I have a colleague at work that talks way too much and is demanding to be heard so I'll avoid the technique with him.

Otherwise Ive kept a note of what had happened on my phone and I'll paste it below. Right now biggest problem is in daily life. O can't seem to get traction there, constantly getting distracted. And it's not easy to take it a bit easy in a demanding busy job when I constantly have to make sure some tasks are competed, so my ego mind is constantly chasing one task or another trying to get it done as quickly as possible.

Other times when I am suffering I note it and nite how it varies. I get some traction this way but because I not the suffering it disappears and I am satisfied and happy so I am back to not being aware.

On the cushion all is good. Perceiving perception occurs slowly and in blips. I am more and more interested in this when doing casino practice. I can see my curiosity building. Will write more later

Here are the notes I had been jotting down

15/03/12
Mind was constantly arguing and thinking. Had trouble focusing. It was constantly trying manipulate the staring so as to get perceingn perception to arise. Then I responded with feeling fed up. Tires to gently push the mind to let go of this tendency with sone fleeting success and to just contulinie the staring. Tried to note the mutiple and continual bouncing about of wanting this and that and to see the inherent sufferig that arises, but this was very hard to do.

19/03/12

Was not as pushy and expectant in practice today. More pleasant and able to perceive perception more easily as a result. How do I transform this into daily practice. I have great difficulty doing that.

Contemplating just focusing today in daily life to bring focus back to the  present moment. To not form great expectations of result bit focus on what is currently being done. And that is all, just ficus on doing and bringing the mind back to what I am doing and just do it, again and again, in all aspects, instead of side tracked by the egos theories or great desire of expectation and Dissapointment.

22/3/12

Long habits = breaking them requires big change
Applies to life as well as practice
Always be open to changing focus and habits in order to develop.
Combine this with above, being in present and changing habit of mind to focus on present and seeing phenomena as it is and minds reaction to it.
Attitude (present, willing to change) and focus (present, doing now, not formulating and chasing arguements).
Key is subtlety, being present is gently but firmly bringing the mind to the present to be aware of task at hand (or when not doing a task to simply pay attention) - either when chanting or paying  gentle vipassana attention.

Wanting to get a result (in work, study  & practice), huge part of my habits. As opposed to paying attention.

28/3/12

Subtle movements and energies of mind are important. Cannot will something in practice. Practice seeing ego demand things and debate. Continue to gently steer mind to the object (casino, breath, bringing mind to presenter oy noting what is occurring). Did this today. Establish this as a habit. That way what is really occuring and what this mind body process is can be more easily seen. - goal , do this as a pursuit today and for a week, see if it results in anything. 
- gently guide mind to task of paying attention 
- observe debating and arguing of
Mind, wanting to veer into and pursue things
- watch what happens

29/03/2012

- go straight to task, watch wanting and ego trying to shape what is occurring or being dissatisfied with what is occurring.
- got something to do, straight to task
- paying attention, straight to task
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A man Not there yet, modified 12 Years ago at 6/26/12 7:19 AM
Created 12 Years ago at 6/26/12 7:19 AM

RE: SE practice thread

Posts: 23 Join Date: 12/10/11 Recent Posts
22/6/12

Still pre-path.

It's been a long time but I have not stopped practising. A little bit without aim maybe, but beneficial nonetheless. I want to ramp it up and try to achieve stream entry within 3 months.

It's been about three months since I started on a different tack. This is using Kasina, as partly described at the hamo project combined with helpful tips from Nick.

http://thehamiltonproject.blogspot.com.au/2010/12/nicks-current-candle-flame-kasina.html

I use a plate but most of the time 4.5' by 3' inch paper/cardboard plain brown box. It has a few grains of colour, kinda like recycled paper. It contained my wallet that my in law bought for me from the sub continent. The grains if held at slightly less than arms length hold the eye's attention more than a evenly coloured cermic dish.

The focus is on what is described below. It happens about 10-15 mins in when I practice on the train, a little earlier when I practice by myself in peace and quiet.

“What I mean by 'the sense of seeing' is, literally, what it is to experience seeing directly; to perceive is to be engaged in a lively activity and is what is meant by paying attention....

…..To apprehend perception directly is necessarily also to apprehend that apprehension is occurring, and to experience in such a manner is to experience cleanly and clearly, entirely engagedly and encompassedly, incuding the bodily sense of such experience. To see not just what the eye sees but what it is to see is therefore to see cleanly and clearly, entirely engagedly and encompassedly, including the bodily sense of such seeing. Seeing in this manner engages the energies which otherwise fuel the proliferating tendency, and so avoids such proliferation. Further, experiencing seeing as a bodily sense leads to deeper insight into what the body is, and what perceiving is. “

I cannot sense any of the bodily experience but I do sense the perceiving of perception. With this, in some moments I have developed the technique of just seeing what the eye is focusing on. It is hard to explain but the effect of this technique is to refine perception and and times this carries over to be able to see subtle tendencies of the mind. So I had been doing this as a practice for 2-3 months without any other aim. At times insights into myself and particularly the nature of how my thoughts would arise, but they would come unexpectedly and not leave a lasting effect as a change of behaviour.

About 2 weeks ago I realised that the lack of aim is not helping progress. I looked up some of the advice given to me, and a few particular points from the Hamo blog really helped me - http://thehamiltonproject.blogspot.com.au/2011/10/yogi-experiment-riding-wave.html. In particular,

“Paying attention has been conditioned by ignorance of what is happening for a lifetime. Simply realize that all phenomena, all sense contact is arising and being perceived without any effort on anyone's part and relief is yours. Look at phenomena simply from that angle. They are arising without effort. When one tries to perceive them, focus on them with some sort of mental effort overlayed, tension results. Drop the attemp to focus and simply recognise there is no need to focus.


Simply realize that it is all presenting itself, giving rise to consciousness by itself, without any effort whatsoever. 'You' let go of that illusory control and let the wave (sense contact) carry you away. Ride the wave. In fact there is nothing to ride the wave, there is just the wave, let the wave ride itself. You stop fighting the oncoming tsunami and its formidable currents. It rides itself instead by just simply recognizing that awareness, a bombardment of sense contact at all sense doors simultaneously cognised by one's brain, is happening without any of your input anyways, without 'you' entirely, effortlessly, at all times.


There is no need to fabricate 'paying attention'. It's already occurring at the senses. Recognize this fact and the salty water ceases pounding 'you' in the ear, as 'you' don't exist at the point of unsegregated, unobjectified sense contact. Drop all 'focus' and simply recognize what is happening without the need to focus on one part of the field of experience over another. Let the entire field of experience show itself without the need to selectively focus on fabricated 'parts' of it. Stop cutting up the entire field of experience!


What happens to the experience of 'you' then?”

I have been doing this successfully about 5 days ago at work for a few moments. At home I find it near impossible to do, even on the weekend. Which means I am more focused at work because I have to do so many tasks, and this aids me in paying attention to phenomena as it arises. At home, I just want to chill and maximised pleasure, leaving me in a funk.

When this technique has worked, it left me sad and worried, perhaps a natural fear arising when I realise for a moment there is no “me”.

Unfortunate, lately I have lost this ability to “ Drop the attempt to focus and simply recognise there is no need to focus.” because my mind is searching to GET the same effect of seeing things arise and pass as opposed to applying the technique of “Drop the attemp to focus and simply recognise there is no need to focus.” - (but pay attention to what is arising and passing)

Perceiving of perception has greatly aided the technique of [“Drop the attemp to focus and simply recognise there is no need to focus.”- (but pay attention to what is arising and passing)], because I am practising the art of just looking, really just looking even though this happens in flashes here and there. For example yesterday morning at work for a period of about 10 mins I could see phenomena arise and pass.

Another technique that has helped me along was that I decided to initially, when my concentration is weak to just notice what I can notice, without chasing an ideal I had. The ideal is to be able to notice everything, but I just cannot do this, it just makes me frustrated and blame myself. Focusing on what I can notice, and being OK with it has shifted my attention to accept what I can notice, which is much better than getting caught up in my own stories.
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A man Not there yet, modified 12 Years ago at 7/11/12 6:51 AM
Created 12 Years ago at 7/11/12 6:51 AM

RE: SE practice thread

Posts: 23 Join Date: 12/10/11 Recent Posts
11/07/12

These are some random observations in my practice.

So, I have narrowed down the technique as decribed here (IMHO) http://thehamiltonproject.blogspot.com.au/2011/10/yogi-experiment-riding-wave.html

“Simple notice that awareness is operating without any effort, without
any ‘you’ there and it might just give you the relief you are looking
for.

Simply recognize that the mind has become aware of these sensations
without any effort whatsoever on your part. Simply acknowledge the
fact that these sensations are arising without 'you' putting any
effort in to perceive them. Effortless natural perception. Simply
recognize this fact in real time. When you forget to, just simply
remember this fact again. That simple.”

I have use this technique for about 2 mins a time when I am at work. This is when I get a break from focusing on work. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. Largely depending on how “relaxed” I am and how much concentration I can muster. During the morning till about 13:00 it is useful. After this in the future I will need to cut off eating at lunch and instead take that time to have a hit up of concentration by engaging in kasina practice.

Otherwise when I have done this practice during the odd moment here and there during the day it can lead to new effects in meditation, particularly insight meditation that I had not experienced before. For example I have tried this whilst going home on the train I can sense “no self” much more clearly than i have before. At the same time, I have felt a great sense of sadness and despair when looking at the glimpses that this sense of “I” is a big joke. Afterwards I get the desire to be done with this whole thing (of “I”ness), totally fed up and wondering when this joke will end. The sense of impermanence is not as even though it is patently clear that each little phenomena is so brief. I would like to learn to “ride the wave” with greater ability so that my practice can grow more rapidly.

All in all, I am not yet able to practice throughout the day as much as I would like. Again it is the expectation built upon what I have newly experienced that makes me give up. Truly, whilst focusing on work there is no technique I have yet found that will give me the connection to paying attention that I desire. Part of the problem is that I am grasping so strongly at this time because there is a strong drive to get a task done (I do a lot work adjusting, checking and making sure the system that our company uses is functioning properly). I will experiment with noticing my posture and the changes that occur in this field to see if this will help me to anchor attention in the present moment and what is happening in the mind-body process.
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A man Not there yet, modified 11 Years ago at 12/29/12 9:42 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 12/29/12 9:41 PM

RE: SE practice thread

Posts: 23 Join Date: 12/10/11 Recent Posts
24/12/2012

Still Pre path. I have laboured under all kinds of personal road blocks mentally and behaviourally that have not enabled me to achieve the goal of getting stream entry.

What it comes down to mainly is not having a program of putting in the effort and seeing the failures and corrections required to get stream entry.

Nevertheless I have had some fun in the the limited practice I have been doing, mainly Kasina practice and noticing practice when away from the cushion.

These are some random thoughts that I have documented below as pertains to my practice.

There is the effort to pay attention - and the act of doing so.

I have been lately keen to know about the process in one makes an effort and the resultant effect (in terms of meditation)
I have made a rudimentary
Focusing, paying attention is the key tool. - this process
Effort - focus - seeing object - paying attention to it
Mind wavers then return to the above.

I can do this with concentration exercises eg kasina or the breath.

I cannot do it with vipassana. But how abt doing concentration practice and instead of having an object, use the noticing of phenomena as the concentration object. The idea is is to see the phenomena that is occurring and use it as the object and then Be done with it . So this reduces the expectations I have developed when I used to do vipassana practice of looking for things to happen. And also lets the dissapointment of not being able to notice continuously be as it is, and simply return to the job of noticing - doing what can be done using the process outlined above - that is the only tool and ability that is to me, which is

Effort - focus - seeing object - paying attention to it for as long as possible - Mind wavers then return to the 1st step.

At work I cannot do noticing practice anywhere for more than 5 mins. However I can do anapanasati (focus on the breath) all day. So if I get a few spare mins where I am not doing focused work I might remember to some noticing practice. At other times I am focusing on my breath.

30/12/2012

Tried 30 mins of anapansati with instructions for hard jhana. Don’t know if I got into Jhana territory but definitely made the mind more tranquil and clear. Mind was preoccupied with the monkey mind voice of thoughts coming and going.

Followed up with 30 mins of noticing practice that was not that effective. Did not seem to follow the practice correctly. It almost always helps for some reason to read the instructions before doing it. This seems to prep the mind and I can sense either impermanence or no-self a little better. Also having the eyes open seems far more effective for this practice.

The Plan is to switch up anapansati and kasina practice by doing the each practice on alternate days. This is because the mind seems to fascinated and pays more attention to the practice it is fresh. If I do it day by day the mind becomes stale and starts to chase and get caught up in thoughts.

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