Magickal Journal

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James Yen, modified 12 Years ago at 1/1/12 2:16 AM
Created 12 Years ago at 1/1/12 2:16 AM

Magickal Journal

Posts: 270 Join Date: 9/6/09 Recent Posts
Dear Members of this Forum, I hope this thread is ok with you, it's intended to be a journal of my magickal experiences.

Shouldn't anything to bizarre. If you this thread to be offensive, impractical or whatever, please inform a moderator and have it removed.

I ask that you air your complaints here first, as I hope that is reasonable, so that I can address them. I wish to let you know that I am not trolling.

Some Thoughts


I thought I'd air some of my thoughts that had been on my mind recently.

First one: Evolution

According to the ONA the acausal beings reside in a higher dimensional realm. While we reside in a lower one.

Then I got to thinking, if acausal beings possess all sorts of power over us then what would it be like for being in our dimension to possess power over beings in a lower dimension? Such as the two dimensional or one dimensional.

Well it would be like images on a flat screen, computer games, technology, things that we do possess power over.

But I took it further, what if such things were sentient, in other words, what if humans created AI. Well that would complete the metaphor.

So are the Dark Gods really engineers who created a lower-dimensional life form in the past when they came to earth? Are they really at the forefront of acausal evolution? Are the JOS and UMMO Luciferians right? Or is Diane Vera right and is the whole LLF just a joke? Who knows.

Second thought: Possession

So recently I was possessed by a demon named Shugara (a Dark God in the ONA tradition), I actually invoked him asking him to possess me, shortly thereafter I had the sensation that he would come to live vicariously through me. But I had the notion that I was just inventing this fantasy in my head.

Well, it worked. My hunger grew, I had a larger appetite, was more charismatic, aggressive, outgoing, larger desire for female companionship, he seemed to help with dance, he seemed to help with martial arts.

I even started trolling a spiritual forum.

Anyways the feeling of female desperation which I had felt before got annoying, I desired to oust it. On a plane ride back home I realized what had happened, Shugara had possessed me. I tried to devoke him and the other Dark Gods I had been invoking.

It didn't work.

Later what happened was I got him to be replaced by Zepar, on the authority of Satan I presume.

When I asked him to leave (and this may just be a delusion), I got some sort of message like:

I'm staying on the instructions of your Prince.


I later asked him to be replaced, which seemed to work. One important note is that Shugara seems to MUCH stronger than Zepar.

I also, some months ago, asked Satan for the experience of Buddhist Enlightenment, he did grant it. I asked him to get rid of that.

So I guess banishing, to a certain extent, is important.
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Nikolai , modified 11 Years ago at 8/3/12 5:32 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/3/12 5:32 PM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 1677 Join Date: 1/23/10 Recent Posts
James Yen:
Dear Members of this Forum, I hope this thread is ok with you, it's intended to be a journal of my magickal experiences.

Shouldn't anything to bizarre. If you this thread to be offensive, impractical or whatever, please inform a moderator and have it removed.

I ask that you air your complaints here first, as I hope that is reasonable, so that I can address them. I wish to let you know that I am not trolling.

Some Thoughts


I thought I'd air some of my thoughts that had been on my mind recently.

First one: Evolution

According to the ONA the acausal beings reside in a higher dimensional realm. While we reside in a lower one.

Then I got to thinking, if acausal beings possess all sorts of power over us then what would it be like for being in our dimension to possess power over beings in a lower dimension? Such as the two dimensional or one dimensional.

Well it would be like images on a flat screen, computer games, technology, things that we do possess power over.

But I took it further, what if such things were sentient, in other words, what if humans created AI. Well that would complete the metaphor.

So are the Dark Gods really engineers who created a lower-dimensional life form in the past when they came to earth? Are they really at the forefront of acausal evolution? Are the JOS and UMMO Luciferians right? Or is Diane Vera right and is the whole LLF just a joke? Who knows.

Second thought: Possession

So recently I was possessed by a demon named Shugara (a Dark God in the ONA tradition), I actually invoked him asking him to possess me, shortly thereafter I had the sensation that he would come to live vicariously through me. But I had the notion that I was just inventing this fantasy in my head.

Well, it worked. My hunger grew, I had a larger appetite, was more charismatic, aggressive, outgoing, larger desire for female companionship, he seemed to help with dance, he seemed to help with martial arts.

I even started trolling a spiritual forum.

Anyways the feeling of female desperation which I had felt before got annoying, I desired to oust it. On a plane ride back home I realized what had happened, Shugara had possessed me. I tried to devoke him and the other Dark Gods I had been invoking.

It didn't work.

Later what happened was I got him to be replaced by Zepar, on the authority of Satan I presume.

When I asked him to leave (and this may just be a delusion), I got some sort of message like:

I'm staying on the instructions of your Prince.


I later asked him to be replaced, which seemed to work. One important note is that Shugara seems to MUCH stronger than Zepar.

I also, some months ago, asked Satan for the experience of Buddhist Enlightenment, he did grant it. I asked him to get rid of that.

So I guess banishing, to a certain extent, is important.


.
Jasmine Marie Engler, modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 2:53 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 2:53 AM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 69 Join Date: 5/1/12 Recent Posts
James Yen;

Umm... I'm Wiccan, so, to say the least, I disagree with most everything in this post. I'm very much the "an it harms none, let thy will be done" and this seems somewhat harmful, so, I'll just mention the other saying that we have, which is in some form echoed in most religions: "Beware the law of three, anything you say or do comes back to thee." I believe Einstein says it much more profoundly: "For every action, understand that there is an equal and opposite reaction." For another, I'm a bit of a Realist, who believes that the true "magick" everyone thinks that they know of is really just the creational force of energy that every atomically developed essence has. The rest of it is almost all a game within the head, a way of allowing oneself to do or say things that they don't want to take responsibility for, or that they believe they can't be capable of doing on their own.
On a more personal note, the comment you made of "female desperation" is not something that I am keen on hearing, most likely as I am female, and, much as we don't like to think on it, most of us have felt the suppression of a male in search of power over us or sexual dominancy. I wish to simply inform you that, no matter "who" you believe to have possessed you, YOU and YOU ALONE are responsible for YOUR actions (those of both mind and body), and any individuals that may be harmed by them. Judging by your opening lines, I do not get the image in my head of some maniacal, power-hungry individual, but rather that of a young boy, looking for acceptance, trying to place his feelers into the role of manhood. Be careful whom you choose as your role-models. As I think that you might, in your own natural, vulnerable state, be much more likeable to the female sex than any domineering, obnoxious version of yourself might think. I am not saying that you should suppress yourself, but that there are much healthier ways to take out these urges than to try to dominate others, through whatever means. Power is never something to wish for, and there is no way that I can see to reach any form of true enlightenment through such a thing. If "Satan" did exist, then the Bible explains him as an Angel of the Christian God who wished only for God to force the human race to be good, and to follow "His" demands, or destroy them. When God refused to follow his wishes, and take away free will, Satan threw himself from Heaven to the Earth to be "God's Enforcer". Due to this disobedience, God stripped him of his right to re-enter Heaven, until such a time as he admitted his wrongdoing. So, you may want to keep this in mind when you claim to worship him. That he is still simply trying to force humanity to suffer for their wrong choices.
In my mind, though, a story is a story, and Satan is no more real than your demons.
But, if he were real, and did "show you enlightenment", then it was most likely a false perspective, as he would not have the power to enlighten himself. Just saying.
But I do hope sincerely that you find the answers to what is troubling you, and that you find a way to cure yourself of your own suffering in the form of anger, hate, or other insecurities. Blessed be, my brother.

Love and Happiness,
Jazzi
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James Yen, modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 9:12 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 9:12 AM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 270 Join Date: 9/6/09 Recent Posts
Oh god no, not you too.
Jasmine Marie Engler, modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 9:21 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 9:21 AM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 69 Join Date: 5/1/12 Recent Posts
James Yen:
Oh god no, not you too.


???Afraid I don't get the reference... Something like "E tu, Brute? Then fall Caesar." ? Or am I totally not getting it? And is this going to add to the post you've created, or is it better done in message?

Love and Happiness,
Jazzi
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James Yen, modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 9:36 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 9:35 AM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 270 Join Date: 9/6/09 Recent Posts
It appears you've decided to jump on the collective DhO bandwagon that I am:

  • a horrible person
  • unhappy
  • anxious
  • hateful


whatever. I can tell you right now, that nothing could be further from the truth. I have stated this, again, and again, and I will say it one more time:

I am happy, I am troubled by no angst, never sad and never remorseful. I feel fine.

Like, I don't understand, what is this insistence on the idea that I am a horrible person.
Jasmine Marie Engler, modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 1:05 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 12:37 PM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 69 Join Date: 5/1/12 Recent Posts
James Yen:
It appears you've decided to jump on the collective DhO bandwagon that I am:

  • a horrible person
  • unhappy
  • anxious
  • hateful


whatever. I can tell you right now, that nothing could be further from the truth. I have stated this, again, and again, and I will say it one more time:

I am happy, I am troubled by no angst, never sad and never remorseful. I feel fine.

Like, I don't understand, what is this insistence on the idea that I am a horrible person.


Okay, James Yen, this is throwing me for a loop. I never once stated that you were a horrible person, or unhappy, anxious, or hateful. These things were only stated in regard to what MAY be motivating you- I tried very hard to not make such assumptions. But I do feel that, if you find yourself doing things that harm others (which I don't know if you are-you were vague on the matter, and I never truly asked, simply warned), eventually it will only harm yourself. What are you doing, if it is or is not harming of others? And what is motivating you to ask for "demons", if there is nothing lacking in your life? What do you enjoy about the life that you lead? And, if there are not unhappy or anxious about it, what deeds do you commit? And, if you do not feel the "needs" or "desires" or "wants" that are shaping your life as superfluous, then why are you here? If you are not either lonely or trying to come to a better understanding of yourself, then what motivates you to go to a site such as the DHO? What is it that James Yen is trying to gain from this association with this site?
Just curious. No cat references, please. ;-)

Love and Happiness,
Jazzi

*Edit- I tried to speak to you the way I would to my little brother, whom I love completely. Nothing within me thinks that he is a "bad person", only that he's made selfish choices that have led to horrible consequences, for both those that he did not at the time think as affected by his choice, and himself. I have watched it tear my family asunder at times with anger and confusion, and I would not wish that on you. He was arrested, and went to jail for his wrongdoings; I do not disagree that his consequences were deserved, but that still made him not a horrible person. But he was very much a selfish one, and this eventually took its toll. Then he was given a son. I have never seen such a change in another human being; he cares, now, and tries, and it is improving things for him. Slowly- there is karma that he is still working through, but it is becoming a happier trail for him to follow. In a book that I am currently reading, "The Power of Serving Others," by Dr. Gary Morsch, there is a sentence from a conversation that he had with Pete O' Neal (the founder of the Kansas City Black Panthers), after he became a fugitive in Africa from the American Police System, and founded a local Community Center for the people of that area. "There is a law of the universe that comes into play...Give, and you will be cared for. Don't give, and it will all be taken away." (p. 62) This man stated that, once he started to do everything FOR the community, then he got the resources he needed to do more. When he was doing things FOR himself, in the USA, then he was losing everything he had worked so hard to build, including the ability to feed the children (which is a little-known Black Panther undertaking of the early 1970's). Just to think on. Once again, I don't know what you are truly up to. You've been less than open on that subject, but, from my previous experience of people who claim to be possessed (either by demons, vampires, or dragons), they are usually doing so to lay off the claim of responsibility for certain activities that they've partaken in. AKA: "It wasn't my fault; the demon was controlling me! I don't have control over when he pops out!" Which could, very easily, make it easy to project guilt, hatred, or any other emotions away from yourself. Because, mentally, "you" wouldn't be feeling them, or doing whatever, etc. I don't believe in feeling guilt for things. I was raised Catholic; feeling guilty for breathing is in my blood, and I've resented it mildly. I do not wish that on you. But I do believe in analyzing actions and re-actions, consequences and solutions. If it does measure doing, then it also measures complete honesty within and about the act, and true acceptance of the consequences of those actions. If your actions "require" you to lie or maintain secrecy, then they are not, indeed, in the best interest of your being, "you" don't want to accept them, and I would re-think these options, for healthier ones in favor of everyone's best interest. Friendly advice; nothing more, nothing less.
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James Yen, modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 12:51 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 12:51 PM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 270 Join Date: 9/6/09 Recent Posts
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James Yen, modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 12:53 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 12:52 PM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 270 Join Date: 9/6/09 Recent Posts
Nah I'm just kidding, no I come here for leisure purposes mainly.
Jasmine Marie Engler, modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 1:07 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 1:07 PM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 69 Join Date: 5/1/12 Recent Posts
Got the joke. Thought it was funny. :-) If this is leisure, does that mean you're bored? How old are you?
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James Yen, modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 1:18 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 1:18 PM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 270 Join Date: 9/6/09 Recent Posts
Am I bored?

No, not really.
Jasmine Marie Engler, modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 1:39 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 1:39 PM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 69 Join Date: 5/1/12 Recent Posts
One would just think that you would choose a group more alike in thought to you, unless you are looking to educate yourself on a different option and grow.
Just saying. Not suggesting that you stop, but you don't seem to be very interested in self-improvement, so what makes this fun for you?
Also, you have not yet answered my blunt questions. What do you do when the "demons" are inside of your head? What is your motivation for wanting them in the first place? What is your reason for communing on a forum about self-betterment, if you believe you like what you have more? I am here for more education- to learn practices from others to better my own. In the definition of Wicca, lol, I am here to "search for wisdom."

Love and Happiness,
Jazzi
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James Yen, modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 1:49 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 1:49 PM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 270 Join Date: 9/6/09 Recent Posts
One would just think that you would choose a group more alike in thought to you, unless you are looking to educate yourself on a different option and grow.
Just saying. Not suggesting that you stop, but you don't seem to be very interested in self-improvement, so what makes this fun for you?


Getting other people to believe that you are fundamentally better than them is fun, no?

Also, you have not yet answered my blunt questions. What do you do when the "demons" are inside of your head?


I am not a Satanist, I do not practice magick, there are no demons inside my head, kindly read the date on this post.

What is your motivation for wanting them in the first place?


As above.

What is your reason for communing on a forum about self-betterment, if you believe you like what you have more?


So that they can recognize the inherent superiority of leading a well-adjusted and happy life, and give me credit for having done so.
Jasmine Marie Engler, modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 2:07 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 2:07 PM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 69 Join Date: 5/1/12 Recent Posts
Ah. I did, in fact, just read the date; my bad for having responded to a message about seven months past due. So we can then assume that your practices have indeed changed? But, truly and honestly, they aren't striving for the same thing you are, I don't think, so they most likely will not ever find you superior to them. And is that superiority so important? Or for them to even acknowledge that you are something? You know what you are; you know what makes you happy, and what doesn't. Furthermore, your own approval should be more than enough, correct? So why the strife? Do you need me to follow your path in order for it to seem meaningful to you? No, of course not. Although, now that we've established a change in practices, what does your current way of life consist of?

Love and Happiness,
Jazzi
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fivebells , modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 4:25 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 4:25 PM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 563 Join Date: 2/25/11 Recent Posts
And are you having fun? emoticon
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James Yen, modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 4:41 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 4:41 PM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 270 Join Date: 9/6/09 Recent Posts
fivebells .:
And are you having fun? emoticon


HAI FAIV BEHLZ HAO R YEW TODAI?

Bro.
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fivebells , modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 4:44 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 4:44 PM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 563 Join Date: 2/25/11 Recent Posts
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James Yen, modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 4:47 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 4:45 PM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 270 Join Date: 9/6/09 Recent Posts
No but seriously.

Actually the odd thing is that I haven't really changed, I can definitely relate to what Richard says when he writes:

as I have been here all along just having a ball


I did many and varied interesting things in the past, and I hope to do many and varied interesting things in the future.

Although my lifestyle might change. But I still masturbate, and I still have a good appetite.

It was just that, all along, 'I' had always been in the way of fully appreciating the moment.

'I' had left the job, half done. And that's a painful thing, like blue balls.

Of course now there is nothing affective to taint the purity of this world.
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James Yen, modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 4:50 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 4:50 PM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 270 Join Date: 9/6/09 Recent Posts
Man these cat references are getting out of hand.
This Good Self, modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 8:12 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 8:12 PM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 946 Join Date: 3/9/10 Recent Posts
Goddamnit James, give us something useful. (and keep up the good sense of humour).
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James Yen, modified 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 8:24 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/9/12 8:24 PM

RE: Magickal Journal

Posts: 270 Join Date: 9/6/09 Recent Posts
Ok.

General life advice:

Get off the internet, and outside, socialize.

There.