Hi Daniel

I came back to exploring vipassana a little yesterday after long periods of choiceless awareness type practise, and I am finding the chapter on the no-self characteristic extremely useful. It feels very effective to tune into the fact that no sensations can watch other sensations, that there is no controlling agency, and that sensations are simply observed (i.e. that sensations manifest aware where they are without any seperate observer). This can lead to a wonderful sense of surrender, lightness and refreshment where actions and reality are known to happen on their own without being controlled. Also, when practising this a couple of things happen:
1. There is no internal conflict in the form of seperating off from experience and trying to shape it and control it
2. There is no movement away to escape from what is and the longing for it to be something more.

Therefore, this tends to lead to a very high level of concentration because I am completely in the moment. I don't mean the concentration jhanas or concentration on a particular object, but a natural and effortless state of concentration. Yesterday, there was so much uncultivated and effortless concentration that reality wasn't just flickering but strobing in and out with high force, almost violently (in a good way).


Having said that, I am having difficulty understanding the usefuleness of investigating impermanence and suffering, as in my experience this tends to act against the no-self characteristic, almost as though they move in the opposite direction. No-self leads to surrender and effortlessness in which impermanence is seen anyway without purposeful effort, while attempting to investigate impermanence increases the sense that there is an entity who is doing it, who wants to deconstruct objects and try to force them into smaller parts than is naturally being seen. For me anyway this increases the sense of division and brings a heaviness to the practise. I wonder if you could speak a little more about the balance of effort and surrender.

The third characteristic, suffering, begs the question, who is suffering? It seems to imply that there is an entity which suffers and that suffering is therefore a problem. Investigating / tuning in to the no-self characteristic exclusively, brings the feeling of 'no self, no problem'.


Interested in your thoughts
- Martin

I have just read insight meditation and seeking the heart of wisdom by Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield, and I have come to the conclusion that the reason for my problems with the practise is due to an insufficient level of openness and acceptance. Goldstein gives the example of observation sometimes becoming like a baseball bat which tries to knock things away. I did not have the subtlety of mindfulness or the courage to completely open to all the unpleasant emotions and aspects of experience. It is from this ground of acceptance that I can observe impermanence and selflessness without any form of denial, escape or resistance.

- Martin

I went through a similar conundrum a while back. In fact it's only now that you mentioned it that I remembered I had the problem at all: it resolved itself with further practice. At that stage I had the letting go no-self style practice which was deep and trance-like and then the effort based investigative approach. I couldn't reconcile them for a while. In the end it was simply a case of investigating whatever tension or unease was there; the doubt itself. It was a simple rule: wherever there was doubt, stay around there. Instead of running around after doubt's oohs and aahs, just stay on the doubt itself, stay on the rub of sensory experience itself without getting caught up in the natural conceptual confusions. Moment to moment experience just happens; but when we stop paying attention and reflect, that's when the I's and should's and can/cannot's come in.

If you feel like you're missing or reifying something, go for some deconstructive impermanence probing. If that "increases the sense of division and brings a heaviness to the practise", then maybe continue with the no-self practice. (even when you're going for the more effort based approach, remind yourself that no-self is always already the case so you're not "missing" anything) Tensions and doubts, if followed and accepted on a basic sensory level, have a beautiful organic way of leading you on to where you need to go next. I've come to rely on them as a tried and tested feedback mechanism. So I don't think your issue is a sign of some flaw in your practice, but part of the natural un-ravelling of illusion, a common paradox experienced by most of us along the path. Good luck!

These questions, insights, and points raised are all right on target.