May be useful for those who:
- sometimes cant remember where they're going or why
- don't gel with 'yang', asskicking willpowered techniques too well
- get distracted in equanimity by thoughts of stream entry or other things
- lack focus, or your focus is easily dispersed or distracted
- would like a refreshing new technique [I'm guessing actually a very old technique you may well have seen before, but heres one angle of it anyway]
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When I was practicing like this the words for writing it tumbled out so clearly they were a major distraction. Now it is more difficult. But I will try to write it because I found this approach immensely valuable and maybe others will too.
As an aside, there has been comment in these forums about a yang, masculine, goal oriented lean to attitudes, language, imagery and techniques. If you're looking for a different, more yin angle that doesn't compromise progress, this is it.
Last summer I took myself on a mini solo retreat. I had no initial aim other than the numerous general side benefits, a feeling I would like to do it and had a handy opportunity, but soon enough the old awareness of the possibility of stream entry and the tug towards it came up. So, I stuck into some serious practice.
Kicking my own ass into doing stuff definitely works sometimes, but when the time came that I just wanted to get up and leave, I had a look at what was really stopping me.
The answer might be a cliched, I was taken by surprise, but it was my heart.
Specifically, when i couldn't remember why the hell i was doing this any more, what i could possibly achieve, didn't see the point and all the reasons, truths and mantras began to just sound like all these words, just words, I had heard so many times before, I would almost get up and go...[sound familiar?]
And then I felt a literal tug, a sensation in my chest that began subtly. If I paid attention to it, I noticed it became strong and 'loud' when I considered leaving, but if I listened to it it became smooth and really warm. I listened with the attentiveness I reserve for small children who don't want to talk about something upsetting them, and my concentration focused very clearly. I don't know what the word is for this kind of focus, I would say sharp, but it seems too harsh a word for something so restful, just like hearing music that was always there.
I basically found this a useful alternative to breath as an object. To me breath, even specific places like the abdomen or the upper lip, once you get into concentration can appear fairly vast. The voice from the heart, or the physical heart however, seems to have some kind of specific locus [perhaps with its own intention] you can listen to. I don't think Im tripping here, its really my bag to take things back to the physicality [if that includes raw data input of visual imaginary stuff so be it]. If you like the 'see that there is no part of your body your breath doesn't reach' approach, you can also take that avenue of insight from the heart. By itself, it is far too weak to pump all the blood round our whole system, but is helped by the musculature of the whole body, and you can watch these waves.
Also, frankly, it makes a change. Its loud, and interesting.
Those who are concerned about emotional content coming up and asking to be dealt with:
Ive never found a clearer opportunity to see a feeling as it is, just as it comes out, and be with it, simply, without getting tangled in stories. This probably helped me deal with stuff just by being with it, while also showing me a way I can go and get involved in resolutions another time if I want to; a welcome side effect.
After a while of listening, I was somewhere in equanimity. Before when focusing, even when in those same stages, thoughts of stream entry or progress still came up often and I had to note them. This time I was only listening, and you know what? Turns out, contrary what I might have believed, my heart didn't actually want any of that. It just wanted me to stay here. It has, quite handily, method-orientated, not goal-orientated aims. Rather, one aim, which is: Rest Right Here. Hear This. In the resting is the hearing.
There have been times when Ive had a similar feeling but then it has been much more spread out, what sounds like the voice of absolutely everything calling me to hear/feel it again and again and again. the voice of now. But the heart technique is handy because it is so localized and easier to focus on.
If thoughts of stream entry did come up, it was a little like being in a glade where anything might appear. I was totally ready for it, maybe it would be a deer? But instead of getting caught up in what the deer might look like, the thought of it just encouraged me to stay right here in the glade in case the real one appears... or even if it doesn't.
Has anyone else found the same? It seems such an obvious thing to do now I'm sure theres heaps of writings on it.
I can see that if there are, teachings on resting and listening can easily be misinterpreted into fueling the disease of laxity so many meditators suffer from. However, I don't think it has to be like that, and present this a practice it may be useful to go back to inbetween asskicking willpowered onwards drives, when you forget where you are driving to.
It brings you back to reality with a literal thump.
Key Technique: Really consider the possibility of walking out and see what sensation it is that pulls you back. Maybe for you its not your heart, maybe its something else, but it will certainly be a pretty handy object.
All feedback is very welcome.
xx
