Ryan's log

Ryan C, modified 9 Years ago.

Ryan's log

Posts: 3 Join Date: 5/11/12 Recent Posts
Last year I did a low dose of ibogaine. This is a tribal ceremonious drug which takes you through you life and shows you how to live better.

Its actually quite impressive how it shows you things you completely forgot and thought were unimportant.

Ibogaine showed me two amazing beautiful women that I could of gone with only minor changes of my actions.

After Ibogaine I decided I don't need to prove myself and validate myself with sleeping around and My focus is on being myself and having good self esteem and finding a girlfriend.

Later in december I did a full "flood" of ibogaine in a motel with a friend. This was disrespectful of the substance and I had a bad trip. This re triggered my psychosis that I got in 2010 and I went to the psychiatric hospital till april 2012.

I'm back home now and am stable due to the meds I'm on. The ibogaine has brought my judgmental side to the surface and my shyness to the surface. The psychologist who runs the vipassana in my area says he wouldn't even consider letting me do vipassana until 3-4 years since my psychotic episode has passed.

I've done this meditation twice today for 15 minutes http://dhammasukha.org/Study/Articles/simple-easy-mind.htm which brought peace focus and stress to the surface. I am more motivated to do the day by day stuff. Before I went to hospital I was a student. Before I go back to my study I'd like to work on my mental health.

My goals are to be a positive invigorated person to be around and in the long term get a girlfriend. Also be confident in both my actions and interacting with people and to make more friends.
Ryan C, modified 9 Years ago.

RE: Ryan's log

Posts: 3 Join Date: 5/11/12 Recent Posts
Ibogaine causes violent vomiting and lasts two days. Should only be done at home or in a homely environment. A EKG should be taken to make sure your QT interval for your heart is healthy. If you have any mental health problems be very careful. Its not compatible with pschosis for example. For more information go to eboka.info or search ibogaine on erowid. Stay safe
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Jane Laurel Carrington, modified 9 Years ago.

RE: Ryan's log

Posts: 196 Join Date: 12/29/10 Recent Posts
Please stay safe yourself! A physical practice like tai chi might help get you grounded in your body. Keep in mind that taking care of yourself must be your first priority.
Ryan C, modified 9 Years ago.

RE: Ryan's log

Posts: 3 Join Date: 5/11/12 Recent Posts
I'm reading how to see yourself as you really are by the Daliai Lama and its helping with my confidence by seeing emptiness in the person I'm talking to.

Meditation has helped me look at people with laser focus. Also it has made me look at how I seek short term rewards instead of long term rewards. This is something I can work on when I'm not meditating, such as reading books instead of watching tv. Or tidying my room instead of watching tv.
Marie, modified 4 Years ago.

RE: Ryan's log

Post: 1 Join Date: 5/30/17 Recent Posts
Wow, I'm sorry you had such a traumatic experience. That sounds really terrible. How are you doing? I do want to add to anyone out there that ibogaine is a good treatment when it's done with professionals. I've seen a few kids in my area change their life this way. Here's a link with some more information if you want to get ibogaine treatment at the same place they did. https://ibogainemexico.com/where-can-i-get-ibogaine-treatment/

Ryan, Pema Chodron is someone to check out if you're finding meditation helpful. I think she's such a great teacher. Listening to her programs has really helped me a lot. I've been rehabbing myself from addiction for the past few years myself. For me it was alcohol and I did traditional treatment. Working with her though has been a huge blessing.