Talk about pragmatic dharma, here is some advice I would have loved to have gotten:
BRING BEANO!
For some reason everyday at the 2:30pm hour sit "of strong resolve" (in which we were not supposed to leave, move, or shift in any way) my bowels would become afflicted with severe and profound gas from the vegetarian 11pm meal (which is just stupid because I'm a vegan and so I don't have any explanation for why this happened to me each day), and the hall would proceed to thunder with the obscene sounds of gas ker-plopping and blurbing throughout my large intestine.
If you don't fart, that gas doesn't go away. It simply stews around in your body until it is expelled. It works its way down to the colon where it hangs out for about five seconds, and then it shifts violently back up the large intestine where it hangs out for about five seonds before it makes another mad rush for the gate. The sounds of this struggle are audible for everyone present.
I couldn't bring myself to fart in the dead silence of the hall. Something about the way one sits on a zafu doesn't allow for free and easy pooting, and simply letting it sift out. One would have to lean far forward and then push, thus producing a zafu-boom. This was simply not an option.
At one "dark night" stage of the retreat I counted the number of seconds between the humilating rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-blop blops of inner farts churning within: roughly once every ten seconds. In an hour sit, that means I had to contend with roughly 360 gut sounds per sit.
On the two days I was in dark night, I was sweating bullets, the sweat literally pouring down my face. I just wanted to flee, run away, run away.
In "equanimity" I just didn't care. Whatever! You want to know if you really made equanimity or not? Eat a couple bowls of vegetarian chili and then go sit a couple of hours later. If the farts within are sounding off like a dying brontosaurus and you don't care, then you nailed equanimity...
Also, I'd advise anyone going on a Goenka ten day to bring good books like Dan's to guide and help them through whatever insight territory they find themsevles in. I never thought I'd progress much further than A+P at the most, and therefore didn't bring much material about the paths. But when I blasted through the A+P on day 4 and 1/2 and then had a million new problems and questions and no real resources in which to get assistance, it was a real drag (asking the teachers is no help, since the "purpose" of a Goenka ten day is "purification of mind" and not working one's way though all the paths of insight, which means the teachers responses are particularly not helpful for a hierachy climber). Figuring out the stages and where you are on them and how they work and how the vipassana jhanas work and how everything integrates together is not nearly as clear cut and easy to figure out as a newbie reading about the maps may initially think. There can be a lot of doubt and confusion until one goes through the stages a number of times and finally begins making connections and seeing the patterns emerge and seeing what works and doesn't work...
So I stress for anyone going on a retreat: bring books and Beano!
And also bring a notebook to write your notes and thoughts and questions in. I did this and was very grateful that I broke the rules and kept a meditation diary. It really helped me organize and reflect on the madness that was my ten day retreat!
I killed a tick I found in the tub at one point, and mumbled something to a buddy a couple of times, but besides those were the only instances in which I broke sila. I'm not sure if writing in the notebook was considered breaking "noble silence," but I really did try to maintain my vows. Is farting in a meditation hall considered breaking noble silence?
Also, you are intructed to bring "non scented" anti-perspirant deoderant. But know this, which I learned for myself: such products may prevent you from sweating, but they don't prevent you from stinking...
