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Is this a PCE?
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6/13/12 6:04 AM
Currently posting from a state I can only assume is a PCE. I was doing noting meditation, and after about a half hour I didn't feel like I was making much progress (for context, I think the stage I'm at in the progress of insight is probably on the cusp between the DN and equanimity, so I decided to get up and do other things. However, I noticed I was feeling different, everything was more vivid. Intensely vivid. Here's something from the notes I wrote a little earlier:

Just snapped back into "it." Was trying to listen music to and sort of slipped into... automatic mode? I feel like right now I'm actively aware of what I'm doing in the present moment, and then I wasn't. My past seems so far away - in the sense that this state is very different than memory. It's almost like my normal experience is a projection in the same way my memory is. This is real, and what we normally experience is a symbolically imagined version of reality.

I'm not really familiar with AF, but from what I read on the AF site, this seems very much like a PCE. I have doubts though, because although right now I feel vividly present, I can sort of "zone out" and my life continues as normal, but I don't seem aware (at least in comparison to this state), then I zone back in and I'm present again. Anyone know what this state is, or have some advice on where to go with it?

RE: Is this a PCE?
Answer
6/13/12 8:44 AM as a reply to Ben H.
My past seems so far away - in the sense that this state is very different than memory. It's almost like my normal experience is a projection in the same way my memory is. This is real, and what we normally experience is a symbolically imagined version of reality

Sounds plausible, was there any sense of a "me" existing in any way other than as the senses themselves?

RE: Is this a PCE?
Answer
6/13/12 3:41 PM as a reply to Tommy M.
Sounds plausible, was there any sense of a "me" existing in any way other than as the senses themselves?


It's hard to say, I remember thinking about the phrase "In the seeing just the seen, in the hearing just the heard" and that this state must be what that phrase is talking about. Now that I'm out I'm wondering if maybe this wasn't a full PCE (an EE?) or was just something else entirely. Maybe a few more details would help.

In many ways "as the senses themselves" described my experience pretty well, as does what I've read about apperception. However, I noticed I was still able to focus in on certain parts of my experience and tune others out - eg. focus on what I was hearing. When I did this, it was as if I was experiencing the sounds directly, without distinction between subject/object. So in this sense, I would say there wasn't a "me." That said, from what Daniel has said on PCE, it seems that the attention wave (still not 100% clear what this is) disappears and you no longer can tune in or out certain parts of your experience. This definitely wasn't the case for me. It seemed like I was aware that everything I experience is part of one big field of sensory data (even stuff like my sense of "I") and I could sort of zone into one part of that sense field and experience it directly. So is a PCE when you do this but with the entire field? If so, what was this, an EE? Or could it be related to my insight practice? (I think I may have recently hit equanimity, so it may just be new territory.)

Still, there were definite differences to my everyday mode of experience (that I'm in right now) - a big one being that there was no mental chatter. In fact, it was very difficult for me to talk mentally, and typing was more difficult. I think this was because I was fairly locked in to the present moment, it was very hard to think about anything in the past or present.

Anyway, your thoughts are appreciated. Hopefully I'm not over-thinking this... I just want to get back to that state of being.

RE: Is this a PCE?
Answer
6/13/12 6:20 PM as a reply to Ben H.
I remember thinking about the phrase "In the seeing just the seen, in the hearing just the heard" and that this state must be what that phrase is talking about.

Bingo. Here's a description of my first proper PCE which happened while doing vipassana, I'm 100% certain that it was a full-on, real-deal PCE and I can totally understand why you'd say this: "I just want to get back to that state of being". Awesome, ain't it! emoticon