I really have nothing to complain about. I am doing the Bahiya sutra practice I outlined previously in the midst of my day for at least several hours a day, which is a huge gain and it feels like the karma encrusted around my life is starting to come away in massive chunks. However, it tires me out. Wednesday, I did the practice while eating breakfast and watching an internet video, and was so tired afterward. Not too surprising, since food and looking for cool stuff on the internet then arguing about it are my most pernicious addictions (skinny as a rake, but I have all kinds of digestive problems as a result.) So Thursday, I practiced just eating with the Bahiya meditation, and that worked well. (Eventually, I was running out of time, and decided to just let the addiction run so I could finish in a reasonable time. Oh, was it pleasurable.) But each day at work, I start to get dull around 4 p.m. or so and by 6 p.m. the practice is just a meaningless mantra, in that I know dukkha karma is running but I can no longer see the self constructed in reference to it, even though I was able to in the exact same situation earlier in the day. Then I come home, and fall straight into the internet animal realm, because I want to rest. (No porn, just browsing/arguing. )

Is this a familiar problem for anyone else? Any suggestions for how to relate to it? I have tried cultivating mudita. It's helped a little.

http://thehamiltonproject.blogspot.com/2011/10/yogi-experiment-riding-wave.html?m=1

Try that approach

Hi fivebells.

I can relate to this fatigue. I think the restraint of habitual patterns - patterns that have been building upon each other for years and years - just gets tiring. Meditation and mindfulness (like the sense door "purity" inspired by Bahiya) are actual trainings - perhaps an electro-chemical muscle is being trained...dunno.. but there are tiring days where a bag of chips and inane TV (or an argument* online) can be great comfort "food". Like any other athletic training, I think "down" days are natural and helpful. A diligent person is still making progress, and the rest in old habits (if they are not packed with profound hindrances and whatnot) can help one get back on the ol' bandwagon.

By the way, when J B's "pug" avatar changed, I felt a little down...your giraffe (sock puppet?) turned my frown u-s.d. :]


* I do put this one in the hindrance category, from personal experience...

Thanks, Adam. Can't actually do what it suggests, bu it is helpful to keep in mind that the sensing is effortless.

Glad to hear I'm not the only one. And actually, yeah, I haven't actually argued online for a while, though the thing here about entirely getting rid of fear did come close.

I agree with this. The brain needs rest to absorb what it's learning. It's the same with studying. You can burn out but if you give time for rest and then recall information quickly after the rest period the brain reinforces it's memory better.

I can relate to all of this as well. Particularly Katy's reply. I am only just finding this out in the last month. I tend towards over effort and have been doing 3hrs a day mostly in DN for months. After taking a few sas off and resting a bit I'm suddenly making progress again.

Would love to hear how easing back and resting a bit affects your practice fivebells...