Adventure Log - Discussion
Adventure Log
finding-oneself ♤, modified 2 Months ago at 12/15/24 2:51 PM
Created 2 Months ago at 12/15/24 2:51 PM
Adventure Log
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I've found myself much like Alice, tumbling down the rabbit hole. Just as Morpheous says to Neo, before he takes the red pill. Over thanksgiving my brother was reading Alice in Wonderland, and I was reading this book called Magia. And I made some connection between the books.
Months and months ago, I was listening to a podcast in my car, parked, about awakening and as soon as the speaker mentioned "hearing a bird". I look up and see a blue jay on a branch. I can't remember if he chirped or not. I want to say he did, or it wouldn't have been as meaningful. I think I wrote about it in my other log. I dub blue jays, birds of awakening. A few weeks ago, on a super cold day. Again on break in my car, in a different location, a different season entirely. A crazy blue jay crashes through the trees. Like a bird missle. He was wiley and silly. And I loved him. And it perches on a branch for me to watch. This was when I was contemplating and watching videos about, uh, nuclear war. I was decently scared. I felt a bit better when I saw the mad blue jay. This was the week before Thanksgiving (US).
My dad was talking about how cardinals are some sign, of death. Connecting you to someone who is deceased. Which is completely out of character for him. He mentioned a pop song about cardinals. And a giant cardinal painted on a building. I took it, this was a communcation through my dad. To dub cardinals, birds of our deceased loved ones. I'm listening to a podcast, coast to coast AM. Formerly art bell, RIP. And this lady has a personal story about cardinals. And how her mom loved them. And how sometimes you will get communications from the deceased. And low and behold a cardinal lands on his shoulder. Chronolgically this happed, 20 minutes ago. Promting me to start the log.
So reading Magia, and having these Matrix and Alice in Wonderland synchonicites. And feeling like I'm tumbling down the rabbit hole. I had realized this is sort of my own personalized religion. Other people's sometimes too. It is comforting to be tumbling in mind bending reality. This guy even, the other day. I told him my name is Alex, and he said "Alice?". This older gentleman said he has a grandchild who had changed her name to Alice. I say "good name!" .. I say "alice in wonderland". Which is a comment a crazy uncle would make, or future crazy uncle. It's my attempt at charisma. As the guy looks over slightly confused, and probably conludes the same about me, possibly a few screws loose.
I have some stuff around my deceased brother. I'm on a journey to connect with him, and uncover something. Not like having a revalation probably. But more just like an ongoing thing. The reason is because I'm so deep in this malleable reality stuff, yet I have almost zero connections with this stuff to my brother. That needs to change. A part of me feels lost. It may never fully come back but the wounds can heal, and I can have a deeper connection with Eric again. We'll see where this goes.
This may be conventionally reffered to here as "practice". But for some reason, it ressonates so much more, calling this, whatever it is, religion. Which I supposed is a more traditional descriptor. I feel a lot better embracing this. I have watched all four Matrix movies lately, and have spent hours reading about the lore, and watching lore videos about it.
Another three things I need to do are keep reading Magia, and also keep a tiny, paper journal, to write simple reminders in. I need to also start making art. Three things. Those will facillitate this.
Months and months ago, I was listening to a podcast in my car, parked, about awakening and as soon as the speaker mentioned "hearing a bird". I look up and see a blue jay on a branch. I can't remember if he chirped or not. I want to say he did, or it wouldn't have been as meaningful. I think I wrote about it in my other log. I dub blue jays, birds of awakening. A few weeks ago, on a super cold day. Again on break in my car, in a different location, a different season entirely. A crazy blue jay crashes through the trees. Like a bird missle. He was wiley and silly. And I loved him. And it perches on a branch for me to watch. This was when I was contemplating and watching videos about, uh, nuclear war. I was decently scared. I felt a bit better when I saw the mad blue jay. This was the week before Thanksgiving (US).
My dad was talking about how cardinals are some sign, of death. Connecting you to someone who is deceased. Which is completely out of character for him. He mentioned a pop song about cardinals. And a giant cardinal painted on a building. I took it, this was a communcation through my dad. To dub cardinals, birds of our deceased loved ones. I'm listening to a podcast, coast to coast AM. Formerly art bell, RIP. And this lady has a personal story about cardinals. And how her mom loved them. And how sometimes you will get communications from the deceased. And low and behold a cardinal lands on his shoulder. Chronolgically this happed, 20 minutes ago. Promting me to start the log.
So reading Magia, and having these Matrix and Alice in Wonderland synchonicites. And feeling like I'm tumbling down the rabbit hole. I had realized this is sort of my own personalized religion. Other people's sometimes too. It is comforting to be tumbling in mind bending reality. This guy even, the other day. I told him my name is Alex, and he said "Alice?". This older gentleman said he has a grandchild who had changed her name to Alice. I say "good name!" .. I say "alice in wonderland". Which is a comment a crazy uncle would make, or future crazy uncle. It's my attempt at charisma. As the guy looks over slightly confused, and probably conludes the same about me, possibly a few screws loose.
I have some stuff around my deceased brother. I'm on a journey to connect with him, and uncover something. Not like having a revalation probably. But more just like an ongoing thing. The reason is because I'm so deep in this malleable reality stuff, yet I have almost zero connections with this stuff to my brother. That needs to change. A part of me feels lost. It may never fully come back but the wounds can heal, and I can have a deeper connection with Eric again. We'll see where this goes.
This may be conventionally reffered to here as "practice". But for some reason, it ressonates so much more, calling this, whatever it is, religion. Which I supposed is a more traditional descriptor. I feel a lot better embracing this. I have watched all four Matrix movies lately, and have spent hours reading about the lore, and watching lore videos about it.
Another three things I need to do are keep reading Magia, and also keep a tiny, paper journal, to write simple reminders in. I need to also start making art. Three things. Those will facillitate this.