Hi, writing down some things ive observed in my practice and looking for ideas and things to try with regard to these things.

Bit of a ramble and I apologize in advance for any typos or formatting errors, doing this on mobile in the d.o. text box thing.

Flickering visual field: i generally practice with my eyes closed and sometimes when opening them, especially if what I'm then looking at is relatively well lit, I recognize a flickering of what im seeing similar to a strobe light but way less defined or intense or bright like a strobe light would be. It's happened in enough different settings that I don't think its just the lights in the room. I sort of recognize this as the impermanence of "seeing" and if im practicing noting I'll either note "seeing" or relax and be aware of the flickering which eventually subsides.

Driving seems to be a way to interact with people at enough of a distance that I can maintain a decent level of concentration and mindfulness. I've definitely found it challenging to maintain concentration or mindfulness in direct conversation with others, especially if it involves a lot of eye contact and im doing a lot of talking. While driving I have found decent success observing a flash of ill will when someone's pulling out in front of me or fear of another bigger vehicle or craving to get where I'm going more easily. It's been particularly interesting to observe how these emotions that come up influence my behavior and intentions vs letting them pass and not acting on them.

Curious if anyone has suggestions to expanding this investigation and bringing it to other more challenging parts of daily life more effectively.

In my noting I tend to distinguish between seeing, whether it's with my eyes open or seeing the red black nothing when my eyes are closed, and visual imagery in my mind, the same way I would distinguish between hearing outside sounds versus thoughts, which are verbal but not "sounds" from the outside world. I haven't seen this distinction made in Dharma books I don't think when it comes to visual stuff, only separating thoughts, which I think for most people are verbal most of the time, from sounds that actually come through the ears.

Mainly wondering if im somehow headed down the wrong path with that since i dont think i got it from an official source or teqcher or if it sounds like a good avenue of investigation/awareness/way of noting. Also wondering if im somehow constructing this distinction and that there isn't actually a clear way to tell beyond the content of the thought image?

Thanks for any and all thoughts suggestions or feedback!

No need to worry. Conversation is often so engrossing that you can't maintain a "mindful observer" who watches things in a detached way. Indeed, as you progress, you'll realize that mindfulness isn't actually about having a seperate observer. Instead, it's about feeling things as they happen, which is actually pretty easy. 

A big frustration for intermediate practitioners is feeling the "mindful observer" momentarily slip away and then get mad at themselves for losing their composure. But this isn't a problem at all. Indeed, practice will increasingly lead you in the direction of having no observer or controller at all, and you can misinterpret this as being dull or distracted. There's no need to resist the flow state, either in meditation or daily activities. 

The pattern is to practice until you get into the flow state, and then dwell stress-free in the flow state, and then once you exit the flow state, you'll naturally notice you're back, and then you begin practicing again. 


That sounds totally fine. It's nice that you're customizing the noting practice to your whims. It felt insightful when I noticed that actual imagery and mental imagery are essentially the same, and that actual sounds and mental sounds (including auditory thoughts) are essentially the same. But they do have a slight difference in feel, which is how we can distinguish them; so you're not making up the difference. I think Shinzen Young encourages inner vs outer noting, or maybe that was Kenneth Folk. I know Folk likes to add a bunch of adjectives to his notes. 

In my view, the mechanism behind every technique is repeatedly relaxing resistance. If you have that, you know you're good to go. By making a note, you're relaxing, because noting something takes you from being a participant to a mere observer. So you could make your notes complete novel gibberish, as long as you're continuously relaxing the impulse to participate in and control experience. 

Thanks that's helpful I think. I'll have to mull it over.

As far as talking goes, I think there is an aspect in my practice of trying to "control" talking from sort of a right speech standpoint.

Historically I've tried to look closely at types of activities where it's harder to be mindful of them and easy to become engrossed or reactive. Eating is an easy example that I've had a lot of success with, especially on retreat and in the last few months ive gotten much better at noting mental imagery when it comes up in practice and in daily life which has felt like a bit of an achievement of some sort.

I think I'm trying to approach talking in this way and I'm sort of skeptical of the idea that it isn't necessary or helpful to be mindful while talking since I think being as absolutely mindful as possible during all activities has been really beneficial so far.

At the same time I can definitely see how this approach, awareness of listening, then catching the intention to speak, then catching the process of deciding what to say, then catching the act of speaking sort of implies that I'm identifying with being the "observer" that catches all of these things and decides what to do with them.

No follow up question i dont think, just sort of organizing my thoughts and curious what else anyone cares to add.

Ugh, editing to clean up some stranded html tags lol

You might like:

https://www.shinzen.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/SeeHearFeelIntroduction_ver1.8.pdf

which discusses things like "hear in" and "hear out."

It sounds like you are doing everything right.

When we are trying to be mindful all the time, at some times that's easier than at other times. So we notice that. We notice what is easy and what is hard. Some things are hard to be mindful of because of the nature of the mind. Conversations are a good example. That can change over time, as the mind changes, for example, as a result of having noticed what it is that makes it difficult to be mindful. 

I'm echoing what John said here, but it is worth keeping in mind that mindfulness is not necessarily the ultimate goal. A further goal can be seeing and understanding how the mind works. Mindfulness can be a tool or a learning aid, to get to that, including in cases where mindfulness does not work. So mindfulness not working can also make a successful study object.