Hi All,

Having downed some wine, I thought I would finally post an update to DhO . I have been practicing quite intensely as of late and think I am currently working on third path. I have been primarily working with the alternative instructions for 1st->2nd that Tarin used to make relatively quick progress.

The main result since the baseline shift that I consider to be second path is that throughout the daytime the dreamlike nature of waking reality seems to take prominence and it becomes very clear that there no self to be found anywhere. The main difference from before is that whereas previously it would become clear that various sensations (such as any pressure within the head or spinal area) were not self, now intuitively it becomes clear that there is no self to be found anywhere in the field of experience at all. I also often have the sensation that I am actually the entire field of experience (this is especially prominent in the subway when waiting for the trains as the passing by trains feel like large objects moving through my mind). I have been playing around throughout the day with trying to "penetrate the dream" as I call it and wake up.

On the formal practice side, things have also become quite interesting. I have been mainly been practicing choiceless awareness. Over the last few days this has become frustrating as I seemed to be fumbling around in some kind of dukkha nana / low-EQ realm. I started with the practice of resolving that I would not do, think, redirect attention or judge anything at the beginning of practice, and therefore any types of volition that occurred from that point on clearly were demonstrating the no-self characteristic since if I had complete control they would not happen - this seems to be rather effective at revealing a lot of subtle sensations / patterns that constitute a self that aren't usually at the fore-front.

I got pretty far with that, except then I began having the phenomenon of lucid dreams during practice, except I was able to maintain awareness that this was a dream. However, since I had resolved not to do anything, all I could do was remain choicelessly aware as the mind would float through various (incredibly vivid and lifelike, as in full deep 3d vividness the same as in real life) until the mind would suddenly realize that the dream was falling apart and return to observing physical sensations. The main thing I've observed from this process is that it seems rather awkward when the mind returns from a lucid dream back to the here and now as the here and now is deeply wrapped up in a dream of it's own (the idea that I'm alive, sitting here in the room or reclining on the floor, that there is a meditator, that there is a purpose to the meditation, that the physical sensations occuring constitute an entire continuous body, etc). Also, my concentration probably isn't strong enough yet, as after about 45 minutes I would slowly find it harder and harder to maintain vivid awareness through the lucid dreams and my eyes woudl suddenly open.

My next approach was to see if I could work with the mind at a more subtle level - I noticed that one issue in my meditation is that there was this desire to get somewhere (i.e. progress through insight stages, expect some kind of mind-blowing fruition that would lead to another baseline shift, etc). So I decided to resolve that the mind maintain an attitude of curiosity in which I would simply not expect anything and see what comes (somewhat scientist like). This seemed to be fairly effective in that meditation became a lot more grounded and there was a lot less lucid dreaming. Large amounts of tension/stress in the head/heart/naval regions appeared and would at times suddenly whoosh away and I would appear in an EQ like state, though no fruitions.

Finally, the most exciting thing I've figured out is what I worked out today - I got rather tired of trying to dissolve the stress/tension that would appear, the constant sense of chasing, the constant dissatisfaction with experience that at times made me feel almost forced to maintain an attitude of curiosity (which was also a fabrication). So I decided to simply peer into the most subtle layer of mind I could muster (basically deep intuition) and notice the sensation of whether I liked or disliked the experience I was having now. This was absolutely magical! Once I objectified this deep intuition as to whether I liked/disliked experience in this very moment, I realized that somehow the gross stresses/tensions that were constituting annoying vibrations and push and pull on attention and everything that sucked or made me feel like the mind was uncontrollably clinging to things were deeply linked to this intuitive sense of liking/disliking at this very core layer of the mind. At times I could see the direct link between this intuitive sense of liking/disliking and the gross sensations that would arise with the definitive flavor of self (at this point I've noticed that my sense of self is more like a flavor that certain sensations that arise seem to give off). Almost automatically all the stresses and tensions spread out over space, dissolved, and I entered into an extremely pure and relaxed state of equanimity. EXCEPT for one thing - there was of course the desire to remain in this equanimity - the desire to maintain this state of observing and thus objectifying (and thus releasing) this intuitive liking/disliking, which itself was a form of clinging (liking). How to get past this seems a bit like a chicken and egg problem so I'll have to spend more time examining this.

However, I'm very thrilled that I've reached this point as I feel like it has deeply reoriented my practice - now I see that if I can just somehow coax the mind to stop liking/disliking I will be able to reach a really profound kind of peace. This is a particular relief from the subtle anxiety I've been experiencing (dark night-ish, not depressing but just an out of focus / out out phase feeling) and the worry that I was lost somewhere in some weird recursive set of insight stages.

OK, so are you saying you've already achieved third path? Or that you're currently working towards it. The diagnosis is easy, third path is the mastery in the faculty of samadhi, one's effort, mindfulness and concentration are unfaultering. Also one is no longer bound by the sense fetters, which emanate from a deeper existential yearning which should be met by the anagami.

Either way congrats on your progress.



OK, the sensations that make up the 'self' when delved into, are diffused at third path. They are totally dissolved and seen to be not-solid, impermanent, painful and not-self. This is a very existential, effort, concentration based game. It has nothing to do with intellectual understanding, but working with 'being' itself (the aggregates).

If you are a third pather, your meditation should be complete, the next goal is to train on Wisdom.



OK, was this experience of the upekkha bojjhanga contrived? Or did it occur by accident?

If it occurred through effort, mindfulness and concentration then you're on the right path, but if it's just a luck accident then don't dwell on it too much. The whole goal is to work with the existential yearning and eliminate it, it's thirst, ride it out.

As a second pather (referring to you as a second pather and also most aryans/sekhas in general), you should feel a 'pull', this pull is in the direction of cessation. Seek out this pull, and follow it to the end.

I guarantee you non-return if you can do that. Else arahatship.

Good luck!