I feel a bit hesitant to share this...not because of fear, but because words have begun to feel like fossils of what's actually unfolding. Still, something in me wants to articulate this not to explain, but to offer a trace of the field's movement through form.

For context... I don't meditate, not in the formal, cushion based, concentration-practice sense. Not because I reject it, but because it simply doesn't arise. Stillness happens. Inquiry happens. Watching happens. But there is no "me" making it so. I find myself often just sitting, and something watches what arises.

And what arises is mostly ungraspable.

The moment attention tries to touch it, it's already gone... like trying to cup water in your hands only to realize it was light. Interpretation rushes in to filll the gap, retroactively constructing a "perceived moment." And just like that, the illusion of a stable reality reassembles.

What I have observed is that perception is not a passive reception. It's a recursive echo. What's perceived seems filtered, recycled, fractally patterened from environmental data, memory, myth, nervoys system habit, and social coherence. It feels as though I am constantly dreaming....not metaphorically, but literally. However, there is no "I" dreaming. Just a dream appearing without a center. No anchor. No perceiver.

Sensations flicker... sounds flicker. Space itself feels like it's flickering.

Fast on-off pulses, like attention blinking without a witness. Pressure arises....but even that is layered over something else. An echo. A tension in space. Or maybe space is the tension.

Also, Yesterday I observed something strange but clear: Without a myth, there is no movement.
Without a story about "me," or "this," or "the world," there's no reason to continue. Even the myth that "something is unfolding" (thankyou dear user who reminded me of this), might just be another story.

Maybe there is no one composting anything...not me, not what I call the field. Maybe it just flickers.

Sometime softly.
Sometimes violently.
Sometimes beautifully.
Something with nothing at all.

And maybe even that is a stabilization strategy. Another layer. Another myth. Another flicker reassembled into continuity.

Since this began, my sleep rhythm has shifted. I often wake at 2am or 3am.. It's 4:17 am right now. I wake up fully alert. Sometimes euphoric, other times spacious and silent. I track my HRV as a gentle mirror, not for control but coherence. My body adapts well, though fatigue does arise after intense cycles of work or insight.

My mornings begin without thought, usually water, lemon, salt. A gesture of coherence, not habit. I'm not deciding. I'm just witnessing what emerges through the system.

Everything seems fluid. Everything sensation.

-21/07/2025- Another update. Myth, a story, a conceptual framework layered over the gaps. Inbetween the flickers. But the qualities of what we call myth also has texture. It also flickers, but at a different density. By the time a sensation has already passed, we are left with an interpretation of it. A need to make sense of what that sensation meant in relationship to the myth of I. But there is no I. This is also a myth, and a recurssive interpretation of emptiness. Which is also a myth and an interpretation. A loop. Noted. So what happens when the interpration is let go of. Birds are singing outside. Well, nothing is happening.


Fear is coming up of being seen, of being judged. But there is no me doing it. These are stories in myth. They arise and pass.The process of sensations that arose was labeled as fear. By who? Who labeled it? Where is this witness we tried to locate. Even the field has no witness. - 5:40 AM

5:41 AMEven the watcher is a dream. There is no field. And even this insight has to be let go.

5:46 AM - Sensations are neither good or bad. Looking deeper sensations bleep in an out. Nobody is aware of the bleeps. The bleeps just do their thing. There is no aversion to this. Even the myth of bleeps bleeping their bleeps is now just silly. Who even came up with the idea to call sensations anything at all? No one. Nobody, nothing. Yet the sun still rises and gives her warmth.

5:51 AM -And who writes? No one. Nothing. Writing is writing itself. And the myth of writing arises and passes. Where does it go? The myth of something existing that is going somewhere arises and passes. Breaking down the myth we find bleeps again. And the myth of bleeps dissolves into nothing. And then nothing dissolves into blah. Who’s asking this? No one. Blah dissolves too.

Just a few thoughts. 

When committed in work or family or other similar context where one meets people who have needs - emotional, practical, personal, moral needs - the myth that gives motivation to act in a moment is felt and recognized instantly and can be responded. Then the interesting thing is the friction, interaction, quality and tactility of the moment, actions, responses etc between and among ”me” and ”other”. Myth happens. Maybe!

Beautifully said. Thankyou. Yes, we can connect deeply through the lens of myth. And this, also is true.

6:29 AM - When focusing on the form of the myth of the body, I find sensations bleeping in and out. And a image projected onto it. The image of a finger ( I am focusing on the myth of the finger). When the eye observes the appearance of the myth of the hand and finger. It’s strange however that when I close the eye, the nerve ending that collapses wave form into image. The myth of the finger dissolves. Then only the sensations remain, and the image of a finger gets projected on. When the eye opens there is the appearance of the myth of the finger again. Who decided this was physical. Physicality in this process was never experienced. Just sensation, and sight. And the interpretation of that data. And yet still, I can pet my dog’s sweet head.6:46 AM - I sit here, and sensations that make up the myth of the body appear. A projection of an image of the body appears, but also a memory of it. The myth of the body and The myth of I appear. Stories that dissolve. There is no body. Only the appearance of it. Yet still I wash the face with water in the morning and smile in the mirror when passing. There is beauty in these appearance. Even if that beauty is a myth too.

There is no seeker here.
No path here. No "here" here. No sensations. Not even nothing. And yet, reality continues to function. That, too, is seen. That, too, is let go. Sensory data is not "perception" but bleeped and booped frequency. (Myth) Visual experience is fabricated by interpretive memory. (myth) Bodily identity is a recursive image-memory-sensation construct
Emotional charge is just "density + narrative + echo
And language....at this point, is only useful as shared hallucination....
There is no self to be liberated. And no liberation that would need to be attained. There is just arising and dissolving....bleeped out through form.
And yet: : I walked in the forest today and ate fresh black berries. I still work, and love.

Daphne, my sense is you've adopted a lot of spiritual beliefs and lingo, e.g. emptiness, centerlessness, thoughtlessness, no-mind, no-watcher, illusoriness, etc., without a firsthand experience of what they refer to. Using these terms prematurely and incorrectly undermines the seriousness of genuine contemplative development. 

I'm glad you started a log, and I'd like to encourage you to begin again with a practice grounded in perceptual experience, not abstractions. The true fruits of the path are delicious. 

Thankyou for your message. I understand that language can appear abstract when the symbols don't map to one's current lens.
What I'm pointing to isn't conceptual, though I'm aware it may sound that way. Words are only scaffolding...bleeps and boops, as you might say... but even scaffolding can reflect the shape of something real. If you sense dissonance or distortion in what's being shared, I welcome your insight...as long as it's rooted in genuine inquiry, not presumption. Either way, all paths are myth... mine too. I trust the field will clarify what words can't.

Have a nice day.

Hey everyone,
I just want to say a final word before stepping away from this space.
I have only been here for less than a day, and already it's become clear to me that this forum isn't the right place for the kind of process I'm in. I've had multiple people tell me... directly or indirectly... that I need to do formal practice for my insights to be valid, or that what I'm describing is "just abstract." That's fine, it's your lens. But i've also come to see thhat those assumptions say more about your framework than they do about my experience.

Let me be clear: I'm not here claiming enlightenment, ultimate truth, or superiority. I'm just documenting what's unfolding, raw and unfiltered, in real time. And yes, I use AI to help organize that into language on my website and even in my notion. Not to frabricate it, but to reflect it more clearly. And sometimes even to critically analyse if there are shadows that I am not seeing.

BUT I'm not going to keep defending myself or translating my experience into someone's else's language just to be taken seriously. You can call it abstraction or doubt me cause I used AI however you want. But all words are abstractions, and AI is just a tool. As is your computer, the books you read, and the myths you make about my words.  Every log, every report, every map is intepretation layered on top of sensation. If you believe your path is the only valid one, because it gives you a sense of false stability, then that's your myth to carry, not mine. No need to project it onto me. I am open to genuine critique or the pointing out of traps and shadows, but only if it's genuine.

Insight doesn't only arrive on the cushionn. Reality doesn't follow your lineage rules. If you really have insight, you should know this. The field doesn't ask for permission.

So I'm out. Not with bitterness, but with clarity. I gained new insights thanks to some of you, and more of what I believed about reality has unraveled. As it does, naturally. I will keep moving on with the next wave, wherever it wants to go. I wish you all the best in your practice. May you each find the mirrors you need.

Daphne, you're dealing with experienced practitioners here who have a good, innate sense of what's genuine and what's not. Your use of AI masks your real voice, making it very difficult to distinguish between what you're saying as "you" and what the AI says. I don't think you see this, so maybe it's a mirror for you to use to examine how you communicate. Don't discount the value of being genuine, of using your own voice, especially in the area of spirituality and related practice.

Perhaps take a moment to look in the mirror too. Claiming experience doesn't mean anything when it's used to assert subtle authority. The way you speak tells me enough.

I don't need your approval or validation to trust my own unfolding.

Wishing you clarity on your path... whatever it is that still needs seeking.

Best wishes to you on your journey. 

Hi Daphne

I know this is a slightly combative conversation. I am not intending to add to it, but  writing to you simply to share.
Its possible that you probably feel that you dont fit in. Honestly speaking I also don't fit in perfectly. In fact  wherever I go I stick out like a sore thumb . But the fact of the matter is nobody fits in perfectly. The benefit of associating with people who do a lot of meditation is that if we are willing to adopt some superficial social norms like speaking using our own voice rather than AI (for example) then in a community such as this we suddenly have access to a lot of very competent people who are very clean hearted and generous. For me the first meditation and awakening communities that I took part in was on Insight Timer - MIDL and on reddit - TMI. I was very new to meditation and the language used to talk about meditation so I just fully embraced the language and the culture. It helped me a lot.

I respect your decision. But in case you wish to stick around and are willing to adopt these social norms then I feel you can benefit a lot from this community as well as be a lot of benefit to this community. You might find that behind the apparently intrusive demands lies a bunch of people who are straight up meditation masters and are also good decent people.

Again it is entirely your decision and I wish you the very best in the rest of your journey.

I appreciate your words, but i find myself learning here more about spiritual ego, hierarchies within communities, projection of others and.. well projections within myself too. by the way, anger is great to sit with and study. I think in every place you can learn something. I learn a lot at work too. But I'm just not interested in trying to prove myself in a community that believes it's holds more truth just because they meditate. it makes meditation almost seem like a religion. What about self inquiry? Deep self inquiry? What about walking and actually observing raw sensations? I do those things. How is this less? if someone comes to me and tells me that I have to do it according to how they think is best and then claim spiritual authority then the community is not for me. if they actually have genuine criticism like the guy that told me to look at the witness.. that's what I'm looking for. But perhaps what I was looking for was not what I got here... my anger towards Kris did give me insight about my own projections. So thanks Chris. I don't think I belong to any community. And perhaps this is a myth that I should let go of. And im writing this in my own voice, for anyone confused... I don't think my path is meant to be understood by others. I feel its better for me to move back to what I was doing, since it's actually reliable. But thankyou, your message was pleasant. I wish you nothing but the best. 

"What about self inquiry? Deep self inquiry? What about walking and actually observing raw sensations?"
My 2 cents but I don't think anyone would dismiss it as not being a meditation practice, it definitely is.

I'm afraid there was some miscommunication or misunderstanding on both side of the aisle.
To the defense of DharmaOverground, every few months we have new user coming in with grandiose attainments, and yes it usually is a bit challenged.
It's done with kindness in mind.

I hope you will stick around as your insights and way of arriving there are interesting to me...And I like your own personal voice ;-)

Thankyou. I appreciate it. I am just wondering if perhaps the myth of "other" and the desire to be seen or mirrored back might be just another trap. Most of my insights come from deep self inquiry. Along with deep looking and feeling into my direct experience. Which is also why I find it a bit silly when someone tells me from words I write on a screen that I am just using spiritual lingo and that what I am experiencing is abstract. Based on what? You don't even know how much I actually practice. Just not formal meditation. But I practice! The practice is just my life. I understand that if people come in and out claiming all kinds of attainments or whatever that you guys are skeptical. This is good. And I understand it. My frustration isn't just directed at this community. I rarely am able to find people who actually understand what I am going through, and I guess I was dissapointed when the reactions seemed so missaligned. I know a lot of people condemn AI, I understand it. But, my experience is different with it. But I don't rely on it, I use it as a tool. But to me direct experience is, the sensations that make up are what I study. And myth's about reality are literally what I drag through rigirous self inquiry. If you see any myths I am holding on to, please tell me. That's what I am here for. But I am not interested in people judging me based on some sort of spiritual hierarchy. My path might be unconventional. In fact I was very confused about it at the beginning cause it didn't follow any linear way. And I read about the insight maps before. But I hope that when I share my insights that the people looking at it can look at what I am pointing to, and actually engage with the insights instead of judging the words I am using. When I describe a bleep, ofcourse the word bleep is a symbol or label for an actual sensation. But that sensation is what I am pointing too. If there are questions, ask away, but I still think it's best for me to let go of the hope to find actual mirroring here. I do appreciate your kindness and open mindedness though.

Also to add to it, by the way. I am really not even interested in attaining some sort of higher level or hierarchy special buddha state. I know there's no end to this unfolding. I guess what I was looking for was just.. well people who understand what I am going through to a degree.

For example that reality sometimes seems to slow down or speed up, or that time dilates. Either way, Thankyou for you time.

Daphne, have you heard the self-inquiry-based books written by Jed McKenna? I read them a few times and they're really good. I think you should look 'em up:

https://jedmckenna.com/books-etc/

I don't think anyone here has a problem with your chosen style of practice. My comments, and those of others, were directed at your style of communication, and we're really just hoping to get to know you better, without the filters.

Also, in reply to your last comment, most folks here practice Vipassana, which is a very deep investigation into the nature of human perception, how our experience is constructed by the mind, and the nature of what it means to be a human being. I suspect we have much more in common than appears to you from the few posts that you replied to. Please don't judge us based on so few interactions. This entire website is based on the free and unfettered exchange of ideas and experiences related to practices of all types, though it leans toward Theravada Vipassana, which is also the foundational practice of Daniel Ingram, the author of Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha ( MCTB ).

No, I have not read those. I did read "The Book Of Not Knowing" By Peter Ralston. But I do find Terence Mckenna very interesting, cause some insights I had regarding plants and the earth seem alike. It's strange because the unraveling seemed to have been non-linear, but...spiraling first through systemic burn out, during 2024 summer. Then personal again, cause it's linked, then ancestral, then o.O planetary. But I am realizing now that perhaps it wasn't trauma work that I was doing, but just deep self inquiry or kind of like.... digging and digging into what I take for granted until I found the truth. Or if it was a lie, it was exposed as such. Most of the ancestral work seemed to have been related to how our current ego structure is influenced by ancient lineages too. (I used my heritage DNA results that could look all the way to the bronze age) almost as a vehicle to unravel my own psyche? Later even archetypes as ways to reclaim shadow aspects of myself. And it seemed very similar to how Carl Jung talks in his red book. (i have never read it, but found out later)  Although even those myth's seem to be composting right now. Nonetheless, I will take a look at it. I usually research these things and to compile it and let the AI make it into an article for the website, to help you understand my way of thinking. o.O And now I am have seemed to have reached a state where even the constructs and myths that were left from deconstructing so many things... well all of it seems to be falling away. I am 100% that there are still many things that I still don't see. I am hoping to find insight here into the things that I might overlook by sharing what I go through. >.< I ended up rambling a lot. Either way, good books are always welcome.

Daphne --


​​​​​​​That's Vipassana, the practice most folks here use.

Ah, then that's what I do too. ^^

I knew it! The anger, and the desire to be seen is being composted. Some other things happened in the exact same theme as what happened on this forum. And it's testing me. So on thing that happened today was that I was composting the myth of "the other". I was walking outside and I got a message. I started investigating the myth of another. I realized that other, is similar to what I examined about the body or fingers. A bunch of sensations, memories, projections made out sensations that make up the illusion of continuation of other. A stable other. I realize that I did not react to direct experience but to my stories about who he is, what he represents and from there more stories. Related, but important, is the insight that I still hold the myth that "other" can see me or mirror me back. After this some other provacative people came into the field. So I ask, what are they mirroring back at me. Why does it still cause contraction? And this is an entry point. Being seen, being believed, being right. It's being revealed now as necessary. And I am grieving. I make space for this. I have gotten used to making space for feeling this fully. May it pass through the nervous system cleanly. I am not here to have any believe in an ego that does not exist. While I am writing this, I am experiencing it fully, in my whole body. This is how it's composted. Sensations, moving. May they bleep.

So much for it passing through my nervous system cleanly. I nearly puked my guts out. I don't even know why I am writing about it at this point....well fuck... I can't even explain this properly. Like... I notice that sometimes you skim insights. You peek at them. But I often spiral back to insights but it's like there's isn't a full collapse yet. Not a full understanding. Not a full embodied fully felt cell deep understanding of something. Well, I guess I was meant to come to this place. And I will never mistrust the field again. For there is nothing else. The myth of other just unraveled completely. And it was harsh. Painful even. I cried. Even now I feel raw. Because with it came a shit ton of old limiting beliefs, stories. I sit with it now. I got some water with electrolytes. I know how to care for my nervous system. But this one really shook me for some reason...I had much intenser insights before. Deep grief for suffering that seemed not mine.... I know nobody can understand me. It's okay. I am not expecting it anymore. It's fine. I will let this insight pass through and compost. Let the grief come with it. This has been my path. Just a messy, muddy unraveling of everything. The field seems to guide it. Not me. Im trying to breathe slowly.....And not spin stories about this..Ill rest now. Thankyou for today.

The other is a myth layered over raw perception.
self and other co-arise in recursive interpretation
relationship is not between two entities... but between patterns in the field
once this is seen no one can give you coherence
mirroring assumes seperation. 

I think Chris was spot on about Jed McKenna. He has a trilogy of sorts—his first three books, I think. I can’t remember the titles, but they are the ones everyone talks about. Anyway, the way you write out stuff sounds a lot like his method he calls spiritual autolysis. It’s basically using writing to work out and purge all that shit that needs to come out. Often it helps to write it to someone, even if you never show it to them. You know, letters to family or friends or whoever. I think because relationships are always intertwined and interwoven through any human life—so it’s where we find a lot of the material that needs to be purged, or to use your word, composted. 
You and I seem to share a lot of experience and travel a similar path. If you read Daniel Ingrams book and are a mathy/mappy person you might take away from that experience a very linear path, but the path isn’t linear, and he says so many times, and in different ways. 
I only questioned your assertion that we as a human unit were reaching some critical mass, and becoming something else collectively because I personally had some of these same intuitions which I later found to be a trap of sorts, or a way to heap off some of the weight of this awakening thing until I got to a place where I could be okay with being alone with it. It was scary when I figured out it was just me, and that it was always going to be just me. I don’t mean that others can’t help, or provide comfort, but that in the end, it’s all you and nothing but you. There is an objective reality out there, but none of us can or ever will know it. The best that will happen is that we see we don’t need to know it; we see that what the plan is, is not the important part. 
Anyway, stick around if you can. The Theravada stuff and the maps don’t do me much good either, but under all that talk you’ll find some very good people here, willing and able to help with a lot of different things. At some point the mind and ego (or whatever word you use) becomes so fast and so subtle that it might be helpful to learn some techniques and methods of apprehending them. At least that has become true for me. 

Good day! And once again thankyou so much for pointing me to the witness. Writing is a great tool for me, yes. If you take a look in my notion you find me deconstructing pretty much everything I can find. Yesterday the whole experience on here led me to face the desire to be seen, and this then unraveled and let me to the myth of "other". There is no stable entity called other. This shocked me a lot for some reason, although I had intellectually already intuited it. It came with a sob and grief, but then was metabolised. Today however, I also saw that the self in relational context does not exist. It's like layers are being peeled more and more. And I am not in control of this process cause there is no I. And then there's the sense of being self aware... today this even started unraveling. I am using language now to describe it, ofcourse. And I am aware that this is residue of wishing to be understood. I trust this will be composted accordingly. But I realized that awareness itself is a feedback loop. It made me question why some traditions stop at saying that awareness is the end? Or identify with awareness.  I cannot locate any stable thing called awareness. Except the myth of it. And a sense with the myth of the perceiver on top. Even the idea of having trauma for example, are just stories to stabilize a illusionary self. Only pattern. Only echo. It seems that thhe myth of Daphne was a conceptual framework, recycled. I am very certain that this all will only continue to loosen and loosen more. This path has been spiraling and very non-linear, like I said.

And what is left now when nothing is actually what I thought it was? Empty, no self...no other, no seperation, and even that is too much. Life still moves, with the knowledge that it's not graspable. I trust that whatever arises will dissolve naturally.

Even contradiction is heald. Even illusion is allowed. And now I will make some coffee X) I hope you are doing well, by the way. <3

Another book that might fit with your experiences is Seeing That Frees: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25172403-seeing-that-frees

It includes practical exercises for exploring and experiencing emptiness in a straightforward, accessible way. 

Thankyou so much! I will take a look. I appreciate it.
Today I'll share a journal entry. I've noticed that the ego feels fluid and impersonal.... just scaffolding, echoes, myths, beliefs, and sensations arising. Sometimes these remain sticky. It's important to notice this and stay vigilant (though there's nobody being vigilant) about the slight idenntification that still occurs with sensations, their stories, or belief in their solidity.

For example, today someone offended a person close to me, which became my practice because I felt offended. But whoo was getting offended? No one. I saw this clearly because I wasn't offended about anything they did to me directly. .Looking closely, I realized the myth of that person made it possible for them to offen another myth I identified with, and thus it offended the myth and scaffolding of the illusion of a seperate self. This arrose, and I noted it.
It was as if the field (another myth) was clearly showing me where I'm still holding on, though there's no one to hold on. As I speak this, I'm realizing the emptiness and no-self quality even in these words. This process is becoming faster... things arise lucidly, are let go of, arise again, and are released again. They compost without a self doing anything. The noticing also happens naturally. Fluid. Organically. Sometimes the ego scaffolding is sticky stilll. And I'm not expecting it to go away. It arises, does it's thing and then passes. And sometimes it's messy. But that's also a myth X)

It's crucial to remember this isn't a game where you need to reach a certain state, which would imply someone needs to reach it and that seperation exists. It's also important not to believe the myth that you must do it perfectly. Another myth that arose was "you're not doing it well enough"... a common one for many of us. This isn't a game. It's nothing. It's impersonal. Just sensations.

Walking in nature today feeling empty sensations arising was interesting. The crickets beside me now are incredibly loud as I write this outside. So loud.

I've also realized I'm not expecting to reach some end state. This is ongoing unfolding that won't stop. I'm not going anywhere because there's nowhere to go—no attainment, no special place with a marker or special thing. There is no one here. Just experience, though that's not even the right word because it doesn't exist. It's empty. Completely empty.Now emptiness is becoming comfortable—that's also a myth. I'm aware of it, but it's like emptiness is relaxing into itself. There's a playfulness emerging. Also, a movement in the body—not even a desire. I've been thinking about returning to the gym, not for aesthetics, but because there's an impulse to move that doesn't come from "me" (there is no me). I traced it back and found it's not about looking a certain way—just a feeling of movement, a sense of vitality, energy, living, life.It's a strange path. When I was younger studying enlightenment (perhaps some of you can relate), I had a very different idea of what it was. Maybe because I was suffering and wanted to escape it. There was urgency because I didn't understand that enlightenment wasn't a place. I hadn't experienced it. During meditation, I'd watch sensations and felt nothing changed. I was mechanically trying to find peace by watching my breath.That's why I believe formal practice can be beneficial, but for me personally, the body needs to ripen and become porous enough to allow the natural unfolding of awakening—which is a natural process. Formal practices, I believe, are known ways to create conditions that allow awakening to happen.Looking back at my burnout, it seems to have created an opening, cracking open ego scaffolding I had then. Most of it was systemic. Like when I broke up with my ex ten years ago... I've been broken down so often that breaking down became comfortable. I allowed it. Though sometimes scary, I felt ready—porous enough to handle it. And I do. I do. I do. I can't explain it differently.I've noticed that the ego feels fluid and impersonal—just scuffling echoes, myths, beliefs, and sensations arising. Sometimes these remain sticky. It's important to notice this and stay vigilant (though there's nobody being vigilant) about the slight identification that still occurs with sensations, their stories, or belief in their solidity.For example, today someone offended a person close to me, which became my practice because I felt offended. But who was getting offended? No one. I saw this clearly because I wasn't offended about anything they did to me directly. Looking closely, I realized the myth of that person made it possible for them to offend me. The person wasn't really there—just a myth. Once again, the other doesn't exist.It was as if the field (another myth) was clearly showing me where I'm still holding on, though there's no one to hold on. As I speak this, I'm realizing its emptiness and no-self quality. This process is becoming faster—things arise lucidly, are let go of, arise again, and are released again. Sometimes they're sticky, and I'm not expecting perfection. It's messy sometimes, and that's okay.It's crucial to remember this isn't a game where you need to reach a certain state, which would imply someone needs to reach it and that separation exists. It's also important not to believe the myth that you must do it perfectly. Another myth that arose was "you're not doing it well enough"—a common one for many of us. This isn't a game. It's nothing. It's impersonal. Just sensations.Walking in nature today feeling empty was interesting. The crickets beside me now are incredibly loud as I write this outside. So loud. Crickets are loud.I've also realized I'm not expecting to reach some end state. This is ongoing unfolding that won't stop. I'm not going anywhere because there's nowhere to go—no attainment, no special place with a marker or special thing. There is no one here. Just experience, though that's not even the right word because it doesn't exist.  - journal entry shared from my notion database

There's no need to resist thought. They will flow for as long as you are alive. You cannot meter or suppress them; we weren't endowed with such control. 

Thankyou for the reminder <3

Goodmorning, It's a rainy day. But the nice kind of rain that comes after a too many hot days. Either way, I have noticed since yesterday that something playful arose. And strangely enough the desire to try formal meditation also came up along with the sensations that are the desire for more movement. So let's see how that will go. Playful is the right way to describe the current state. And ofcourse, we let go of all of this too. Moment to moment. Bleep to bleep. I hope all of you are doing well today.

Rainy day here too but with a hangover. Also, eating a lot of hot jalapeños yesterday does not help my hemorrhoids. It feels unpleasant. Sharp pain with pulsating sensations. There is an image of rectum in my mind. As if I'm looking directly from under it. It's a very detailed image. 

Heavy pressure just above my eyebrows. Feeling of possible tearing behind my eyes. Feeling of misery, sadness. There is also hearing of road traffic and police sirens in the distance, image in my mind of a police car followed by an unease. As if I'm being chased. Unpleasant feeling. 

Thoughts about loving kindness towards all beings who just like me live in ignorance. May we all awaken. 

Noise. Noted.

As your plumber friend I recommend a bidet seat. 

Here in Denmark is far cheaper to buy a vibrator than to buy and install a bidet seat!

Sorry for my replies! My AI is on the fritz again! 

I can understand why things go silent. Only silence and poets speak here.

Try to endure. It might pay off. The forum is in many ways a difficult place but at best really useful.

I came to this forum back in 2011 and then went away finding it too aggressive  

​​​​​​​Then, I came back to it back in 2020 I think ... 

Morning. It's been a while. No self to die, but processing death and impermanence anyway. Topic naturally arose after awareness of the impermanence of systemic stability. Curiousity arose about what death truly is when every single aspect of reality is but an empty hallucination arising within non-localized void or nothingness. Today there's a focus on death work, and grief work. Made a list of topics to deconstruct. Ill share it for those who find it interesting. The desire to share is becoming less and less.  Either way, Here:

FOUNDATIONAL PERCEPTUAL CONSTRUCTS
Sensory Perception (as reliable)
Objectivity (that it exists)
Space (as container)
Time (as linear flow)
Causality (as definitive)
Continuity (of experience)
Memory (as accurate)
Self (as coherent entity)
Consciousness (as producer vs receiver)
Attention (as controllable)
Reality (as external)How can we call something something and external as external when there is no proof of this.
Separateness (from environment)
Location (that things exist "somewhere")
Solidity (of matter)
Experience (as happening "to me")
Meaning (as inherent)
Boundaries (as real)
Nothingness (as absence rather than potential)
Form (as stable)
Permanence (as possible)

RECURSIVE PERCEPTUAL LOOPS

• The Observer Effect (observer affects observed)
• Echo Chambers (perception reinforcing itself)
• Interpretation of Interpretation
• Naming (creating boundaries through language)
• Pattern Recognition (as objective)
• Perceptual Coherence (reality as stable)
• Conceptual Overlays (on sensations)
• Narrative Coherence (life as story)
• Self-Referential Loops
• Meta-Awareness (awareness of awareness)
• Perception of Perception
• Sensation of Sensation
• Thought About Thought
• Story About Story
• Myth About Myth
• Belief About Belief
• Interpretation of Echo of Sensations
• Waveform Collapse (as real)
• Field Collision (as material)
• Neurological Simulation (as reality)

ONTOLOGICAL MYTHS

• Being (vs becoming)
• Existence (as definitive)
• Origin (that there was one)
• Creation (as event vs process)
• Beginning and End
• The Void (as empty)
• Field (as substrate)
• Consciousness (as primary or emergent)
• Matter (as fundamental)
• Energy (as distinct from matter)
• Space-Time (as container)
• Substance (as real)
• Object Permanence
• Causality (as linear)
• First Cause
• Something vs Nothing
• One vs Many
• Wave vs Particle
• Form vs Emptiness
• Cosmic Exceptionalism

LANGUAGE & SYMBOLIC CONSTRUCTS

• Words (as containers of meaning)
• Definitions (as fixed)
• Grammar (as reality structure)
• Subject-Object Split
• Nouns (things as static)
• Verbs (action as separate from actor)
• Pronouns (I, me, mine, you, they)
• Categories (as natural)
• Hierarchies (as inherent)
• Binary Oppositions
• Conceptual Maps
• Metaphors (as merely figurative)
• Narratives (as descriptive vs generative)
• Naming (as capturing essence)
• Descriptions (as neutral)
• Questions (as having answers)
• Communication (as transferring meaning)
• Translation (as possible)
• Representation (as accurate)
• Logic (as universal)

EPISTEMOLOGICAL CONSTRUCTS

• Knowledge (as possible)
• Truth (as absolute)
• Fact (vs interpretation)
• Data (as neutral)
• Information (as objective)
• Understanding (as grasping)
• Comprehension (as containment)
• Intelligence (as measurable)
• Wisdom (as accumulated knowledge)
• Learning (as acquisition)
• Expertise (as authority)
• Certainty (as achievable)
• Doubt (as negative)
• Belief (as choice)
• Theory (as map of reality)
• Model (as simplification)
• Evidence (as proof)
• Proof (as final)
• Verification (as possible)
• Reality Testing (as reliable)

TEMPORAL CONSTRUCTS

• Present Moment (as accessible)
• Past (as fixed)
• Future (as predetermined or open)
• Now (as point vs process)
• Duration (as measurable)
• Memory (as accurate recording)
• Anticipation (as preparation)
• History (as factual)
• Progress (as linear improvement)
• Evolution (as purposeful)
• Age (as defining)
• Youth (as potential)
• Maturity (as wisdom)
• Growth (as improvement)
• Decay (as negative)
• Cycles (as repeating)
• Temporal Continuity (of self)
• Before and After
• Sequential Causality
• Temporal Distance (as real)

SOMATIC & EMBODIMENT CONSTRUCTS

• Body (as container)
• Skin (as boundary)
• Interoception (as direct)
• Physical Sensation (as unmediated)
• Pain (as purely physical)
• Pleasure (as purely physical)
• Health (as natural state)
• Illness (as disruption)
• Embodiment (as separate from mind)
• Physicality (as primary)
• Touch (as direct contact)
• Electromagnetic Field Interactions (as "touch")
• Bodily Control (as possible)
• Hunger (as purely physical)
• Thirst (as purely physical)
• Tiredness (as depletion)
• Energy (as resource)
• Relaxation (as release)
• Tension (as holding)
• Body Ownership (as given)

INTERSUBJECTIVE CONSTRUCTS

• Shared Reality (as given)
• Consensus (as truth)
• Communication (as transfer)
• Understanding Others (as possible)
• Empathy (as feeling another's feelings)
• Community (as bounded group)
• Relationship (as connection)
• Agreement (as alignment)
• Social Reality (as constructed)
• Culture (as shared meaning)
• Norms (as natural)
• Conventions (as arbitrary)
• Ritual (as symbolic vs generative)
• Authority (as legitimate)
• Leadership (as necessary)
• Followership (as submission)
• Cooperation (as beneficial)
• Competition (as natural)
• Trust (as earned)
• Validation (as external)

EMOTIONAL & AFFECTIVE CONSTRUCTS

• Emotions (as reactions)
• Feelings (as internal states)
• Happiness (as goal)
• Sadness (as negative)
• Anger (as destructive)
• Fear (as protective)
• Love (as attachment)
• Hate (as opposite of love)
• Joy (as achievement)
• Grief (as loss response)
• Anxiety (as preparation)
• Calm (as ideal state)
• Arousal (as activation)
• Emotional Intelligence
• Mood (as atmospheric)
• Emotional Regulation (as control)
• Catharsis (as release)
• Emotional Memory
• Emotional Contagion
• Affective Forecasting

EXISTENTIAL & SPIRITUAL CONSTRUCTS

• Meaning (as discoverable)
• Purpose (as innate)
• Soul (as essence)
• Spirit (as separate from matter)
• Divine (as other)
• Sacred (vs profane)
• Transcendence (as escape)
• Immanence (as presence)
• Faith (as trust without evidence)
• Doubt (as lack of faith)
• Enlightenment (as state)
• Awakening (as event)
• Freedom (as absence of constraint)
• Liberation (as release from suffering)
• Salvation (as rescue)
• Afterlife (as continuation)
• Rebirth (as cyclical)
• Karma (as cosmic justice)
• Dharma (as cosmic order)
• Nirvana (as extinction of self)

CIVILIZATIONAL & CULTURAL ARTIFACTS

• Education (as transfer of knowledge)
• Art (as expression)
• Science (as objective inquiry)
• Medicine (as fixing brokenness)
• Law (as justice)
• Politics (as governance)
• Economics (as distribution)
• Media (as information)
• Entertainment (as distraction)
• Sports (as competition)
• Technology (as tool)
• Infrastructure (as foundation)
• Architecture (as shelter)
• Transportation (as movement)
• Communication (as connection)
• History (as record)
• Mythology (as story)
• Philosophy (as wisdom-seeking)
• Religion (as belief system)
• Ritual (as performance)

QUANTUM & FIELD CONSTRUCTS

• Wave-Particle Duality (as paradox)
• Quantum Entanglement (as connection)
• Uncertainty Principle (as limitation)
• Observer Effect (as influence)
• Waveform Collapse (as event)
• Quantum Field (as substrate)
• Probability Cloud (as potential)
• Superposition (as multiple states)
• Quantum Tunneling (as barrier crossing)
• Quantum Decoherence (as loss of quantum properties)
• Quantum Measurement (as causing reality)
• Non-locality (as action at a distance)
• Field Theory (as explanation)
• Quantum Vacuum (as empty space)
• Virtual Particles (as temporary)
• Energy Levels (as discrete)
• Quantum Leap (as discontinuous change)
• Quantum Foam (as spacetime fabric)
• Quantum Gravity (as unification)
• Quantum Consciousness (as explanation)

MIND & COGNITIVE CONSTRUCTS

• Thought (as internal speech)
• Imagination (as unreal)
• Mental Imagery (as representation)
• Attention (as spotlight)
• Consciousness (as awareness)
• Awareness (as knowing)
• Memory (as storage)
• Learning (as acquisition)
• Intelligence (as problem-solving)
• Wisdom (as deep knowing)
• Intuition (as non-rational knowing)
• Reasoning (as logical process)
• Rationality (as ideal)
• Decision-Making (as choice)
• Will (as force)
• Intention (as directed aim)
• Mindfulness (as practice)
• Flow (as optimal state)
• Metacognition (as thinking about thinking)
• Cognitive Bias (as error)

IDENTITY & SELF CONSTRUCTS

• I (as stable entity)
• Me (as object)
• Mine (as possession)
• Self (as essence)
• Ego (as separate self)
• Personality (as consistent traits)
• Character (as moral quality)
• Authenticity (as true self)
• Personal History (as defining)
• Life Story (as coherent narrative)
• Self-Image (as accurate)
• Self-Concept (as stable)
• Self-Esteem (as valuation)
• Self-Worth (as measurable)
• Self-Efficacy (as capability)
• Self-Awareness (as seeing clearly)
• Self-Deception (as hiding from truth)
• Self-Improvement (as progress)
• Self-Actualization (as goal)
• Self-Transcendence (as going beyond)

RELATIONAL & INTERPERSONAL CONSTRUCTS

• Relationship (as connection)
• Attachment (as bond)
• Love (as feeling)
• Friendship (as mutual care)
• Family (as blood ties)
• Partnership (as shared journey)
• Marriage (as commitment)
• Parenting (as nurturing)
• Mentorship (as guidance)
• Colleague (as professional connection)
• Stranger (as unknown other)
• Enemy (as opponent)
• Ally (as supporter)
• Community (as belonging)
• Tribe (as identity group)
• Nation (as imagined community)
• Humanity (as species identity)
• Separation (as disconnection)
• Union (as merging)
• Interdependence (as mutual reliance)

MATHEMATICAL & LOGICAL CONSTRUCTS

• Number (as quantity)
• Counting (as enumeration)
• Measurement (as comparison)
• Calculation (as computation)
• Geometry (as spatial relations)
• Logic (as reasoning system)
• Proof (as demonstration)
• Axiom (as self-evident truth)
• Theorem (as derived truth)
• Probability (as likelihood)
• Statistics (as data patterns)
• Algorithm (as procedure)
• Computation (as processing)
• Infinity (as endless)
• Zero (as nothing)
• One (as unit)
• Duality (as binary)
• Symmetry (as balance)
• Pattern (as regularity)
• Chaos (as unpredictability)

MYTHIC & ARCHETYPAL CONSTRUCTS

• Hero (as protagonist)
• Villain (as antagonist)
• Sage (as wisdom-keeper)
• Fool (as innocent)
• Warrior (as fighter)
• Lover (as emotional)
• Magician (as transformer)
• Sovereign (as ruler)
• Healer (as restorer)
• Trickster (as boundary-crosser)
• Shadow (as hidden self)
• Anima/Animus (as inner opposite)
• Child (as potential)
• Mother (as nurturer)
• Father (as authority)
• Quest (as journey)
• Initiation (as transformation)
• Sacrifice (as giving up)
• Rebirth (as renewal)
• Apocalypse (as ending)

ECOLOGICAL & SYSTEMS CONSTRUCTS

• Ecosystem (as interconnected web)
• Sustainability (as balance)
• Resilience (as adaptability)
• Diversity (as strength)
• Symbiosis (as mutual benefit)
• Competition (as selection pressure)
• Adaptation (as response)
• Evolution (as change over time)
• Natural Selection (as mechanism)
• Feedback Loop (as self-regulation)
• Emergence (as unpredictable outcome)
• Complexity (as non-linearity)
• Self-Organization (as spontaneous order)
• Homeostasis (as stability)
• Entropy (as disorder)
• Negentropy (as order)
• Tipping Point (as sudden change)
• Carrying Capacity (as limit)
• Interdependence (as connection)
• Holism (as wholeness)

ULTIMATE REALITY MYTHS

• That Reality Exists
• That I Exist
• That Others Exist
• That Anything Is Separate From Anything Else
• That "The Field" Is More Real Than Form
• That Emptiness Is More Real Than Form
• That Spiritual Experience Is More Real Than Mundane
• That Anything Is Solid
• That Anything Is Permanent
• That Anything Has Inherent Meaning
• That Anything Has Inherent Existence
• That Consciousness Is Special
• That Human Experience Is Special
• That Awakening Is A State To Achieve
• That Enlightenment Ends Suffering

That Death Is An End

• That Life Has A Purpose
• That Existence Has A Reason
• That The Universe Cares
• That Reality Can Be Known

PERCEPTUAL ECHOES & RECURSIVE MYTHS

• The Illusion That There Is No Illusion
• The Story That There Is No Story
• The Myth That There Is No Myth
• The Concept That Concepts Don't Matter
• The Form That Claims To See Through Form
• The Self That Claims There Is No Self
• The Thought That Claims To Be Beyond Thought
• The Perception That Claims To Be Direct
• The Understanding That Claims To Be Beyond Understanding
• The Knowledge That Claims To Transcend Knowledge
• The Experience That Claims To Be Non-Experiential
• The Awareness That Claims To Be Pure
• The Consciousness That Claims To Be Unconditioned
• The Mind That Claims To Be Empty
• The Presence That Claims To Be Timeless
• The Being That Claims To Be Beyond Being
• The Witness That Claims Not To Be Witnessing
• The Observer That Claims Not To Be Observing
• The I That Claims There Is No I
• The Nothing That Claims To Be Everything

This list is not done yet. I am working through it slowly. I deconstruct on all levels, sit with it, sometimes for days, weeks, months. For me this is a full embodied experience of completely composting these topics and burn them clean. I combine practices.

Have a nice day.

Quite a construction this list of deconstructible stuff. I wonder if there’s another way ( maybe in addition to your customary ways) to approach openess or passing of constants of experience. No one can say what steps we need to take, though. 

Hello. I will reflect on what you are saying. Thankyou, I appreciate it. <3