i first post this in the non specific/broad/generic categories,but here seems more appropriate :

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.im now beginning to seriously practice a tibetan-style liberation meditation,in which "surrender to god's will(any phenomena which arises)" forms the backbone.

now im serious in trying to attain liberation from self(insight into no-self) from this style/technique.

im maintaining the highest level of awareness/mindfulness,and whatever phenomena(thoughts,bodily sensations,emotions etc..)comes,to let them "just be" like a drop of water on the surface of mirror.the main obstacle now is to adapt the awareness into activities involved movement,and conditioned patterns of reaction(recollecting of memories,arising of anger etc..)how to "liberate" in such situations?

i was hoping real insight is going to arise with this practice,and through reading certain practitioners writings,the desire and possibility for attainment has become high.(esp dharma dan's site - trying to e-mail him for advice but there;s no contact there)

any commends/advices?


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Hi -
This seems to be your first post, so, welcome -

In order to comment, I'd find it helpful to know a bit more about your background - is this the first time you've used this form of meditation? Have you practiced other forms of meditation or is this your first attempt? In a simple way, what is your situation - do you work? How much time are you spending in this meditation - from what you said it sounds like a lot. Where did you learn about this meditation form? I've followed a Tibetan tradition for many years and I think I recognize what you're doing, but I'm not sure.

Susan


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hey susan,

im really an amateur in meditation,and this is my first attempt in serious practice.

right now being free frm work committment(at least 2-3 weeks) and others(no kids etc..),ive full time for practice now.wanna take full advantage of this opportunity .more importantly,i want to build a solid base which can be taken into the busyness of working life later on.

im not really learning frm any teachers,and my (intellectual)understanding comes from reading.

my point of view is this(but i really see any views as simply pointers,am not a hardcore believer in any paradigm - concrete stages,etc... ):

the 'self' is the cause of suffering.this 'self',in my mind,can be put simply as a 'knot',a 'contraction' which is 'inside/within'.
and i can sense this 'contraction' within me,this sense of beingness,of 'i am'.

and i now try to force insight/knowingness/wisdom into the truth that there is really no self (for it has been said that the self ,ultimately when being seen as it is,is just an illusion) .i believe /trust on theravada buddhism's emphasis on the arising of insight/wisdom ; and many experiences of oneness/unity etc.. in my opinion,is not true awakening.true knowledge into the reality that there is really not an entity 'in here' is needed for awakening to occur,and not just experiences,no matter how blissful and high.

but i dont find much reasonance in the vipassana(theravadin's) technique.the path of 'letting go' , 'surrender' , seems more pleasant and less straining(is this true?)

and as long one maintain high enough intensity of awareness/mindfulness(and this may not seem so pleasant and relax as i expected) ,couple with intense desire to know the truth, "grace will descend (as to when,this cannot be predicted)"

was hoping more experienced meditators can share their knowledge.