Attention to self can be used as an antidote to depression and meditation sickness. I do this myself.

A lack of attention to the lower energy centres + a premature over-stimulation of the upper energy centres causes this sickness. Without the stabilizing and balancing energy lower in the energetic body, the person becomes top-heavy. Top-heavy symptoms are things like: delusions, hallucinations, nightmares, depression, anxiety, obsessions, overintellectualization, spiritual addiction, confusion, dissociation. You feel ungrounded, full of questioning and lost "in-your-head".

Self: For most people, self = body, or body + mind. Better to just use the body and leave mind out of it.

Self-Affirmation: Whereas insight meditation dissolves the self, this practice re-establishes it. Re-establish the sense of self by paying attention to the body and repeating "this is me". "This is actually me, the body. This (body) is what I am. Self is not an illusion, it is real. I am real". Keep eyes open, scan parts of the body and repeat "this is me". Very grounding and settling. 30 seconds is enough for me. Longer = better.

Exercise has some similar effects, in that it draws attention to the body. But it's still very easy to be exercising madly and lost in your head. Keep looking at the body. Combining the two is good.

Contrast Da Vinci's "balanced man" with both:

1. the stereotypical fat cat. Smoking a cigar, obese body, (symbolizing pleasure addiction and total identification with body), small head (symbolizing lack of judgment, morals, insight, vision). Seen more commonly in certain professions- lawyers, bankers, CEO's.

2. the stereotypical geek. Small body, shirt pocket with pens, large egg-shaped head (symbolizing total identification with mind, underdeveloped self-esteem and lack of grounding. The thick glasses symbolize delusuion and lack of perspective). Seen more commonly in scientists, researchers, teachers, IT.

Aim for the middle?

I feel that you were doing meditation wrong, because "attention to self" and "meditation" should not be opposites, they should be the same thing. If "this is me, self is not an illusion" works better for you than "this is not me, self is an illusion" then do that. It doesn't actually matter what you think, as long as you are observing the mind and the body. Sounds like you found a technique that works better than the one you used previously, good job

I didn't realize that. I see now that it's essence is not different from self-enquiry meditation. Now that you've pointed this out it makes me quite anxious that it may backfire, since I've had such bad experiences to date. So far this "new" approach has been helpful having practised it for ~6 months in short stints, eyes open. It gets me out of my head. I guess if anyone with low mood was to try this themselves, just do a little bit and see if it's ok for you....and if it's not, then leave it alone.