Andrew's Pre-Path Practice Log

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Andrew B, modified 11 Years ago at 2/9/13 2:50 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 2/9/13 2:50 AM

Andrew's Pre-Path Practice Log

Posts: 59 Join Date: 2/22/12 Recent Posts
I think it's about time I started my own practice log here. My personal practice lately has been teetering between being AMAZING one week and completely absent the next, so I figure keeping regular notes AND posting them somewhere where there are other practitioners to see them may help me get back on track (also, I'm tired of being a chronic lurker).

This past month, my practice has generally been less technique-oriented, and more just me sitting on the cushion and keeping my body as still as it can be. Not necessarily noting sensations, not paying attention to thoughts, just being really still. Like a statue.

It's been surprisingly effective, at least as a concentration practice. The first time I sat down and meditated like this, I'm almost certain I entered, if not first jhana, at least access concentration. To be honest, I probably wouldn't be able to tell you the difference, but...I'll describe it:

As I was focusing on being statue-still, I became aware at some point of a low-frequency sound apparently coming from my right side. This wasn't particularly unusual -- that happens all the time when I sit, and it had been there for a little while before I started to notice it -- but I became particularly aware of a subtle change in the sound. When I moved my awareness to it, it started to slowly fade out, and then go silent. But when that happened, it was like the whole room became full of silence.

Next, a sensation came over my body, as if a cool breeze blew in front of me and wrapped around my body.

My thoughts very naturally grew quiet. The few thoughts that popped into my head were like tea leaves settled at the bottom of a cup of water, and weren't the least bit disturbing. They were just there, peripheral.

There was a very pleasant sensation from inside my chest -- my heartbeat, but it seemed to have a different sort of texture.

The whole experience was very relaxing. And every time I sat like this, the same basic thing happened (though never quite as intense again -- just the general relaxing and stilling of the body and mind, and slightly less effort to maintain it.

Anyway, that's been my practice lately (along with some Shinzen-style "Do Nothing" meditation, and occasionally very freeform noting practice). I should be checking back here regularly to keep updates.
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Andrew B, modified 11 Years ago at 2/10/13 3:10 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 2/10/13 3:10 PM

RE: Andrew's Pre-Path Practice Log

Posts: 59 Join Date: 2/22/12 Recent Posts
Did a 25-minute sit around 1:30-ish last night before crawling into bed. Knelt on my seiza bench, which I generally prefer for sits longer than 15 minutes (cross-legged postures inevitably lead to shaking in the legs, which is very distracting and unpleasant).

I started out with a little bit of noting -- not with the expectation of getting any insight, just to get used to the habit of noting.

After noting for a bit, I shifted to "dwelling as the witness," first by simply moving and fixing my attention behind the eyes, then asking "Who am I?" when I felt I had my awareness satisfactorily situated there.

After doing that for a little bit, the view behind my eyelids started to seem more spacious, and I let that sink in for a little bit, investigating that spaciousness. Then I started investigating the spacious quality of all the phenomena around me: the physical sensations of my body, the ambient hum in my inner ear, etc.

I did this until my timer went off. It was a fairly pleasant sit, with minimal distraction (despite my brother and his friends talking very noisily downstairs for most of the first half of it).

As I laid in bed afterward, waiting for sleep, the thought occurred that I was spending too much time trying to find "the right technique." Then I remembered how I'd been able to enter a mild jhanic state just by focusing on being really still -- and if I could do that, then I could investigate that jhanic state itself, which ought to be a surefire way to get some insights rolling.
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Andrew B, modified 11 Years ago at 2/14/13 1:23 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 2/14/13 1:23 PM

RE: Andrew's Pre-Path Practice Log

Posts: 59 Join Date: 2/22/12 Recent Posts
Two good sits yesterday: 25 minutes before work, 30 minutes before bed.

I found it particularly useful to concentrate on the "third eye," between my eyebrows and at the top of the bridge of my nose. Not necessarily focusing on the pressure that tends to build there when I concentrate, but just being aware of that particular spot.

The reason I did this initially had less to do with the chakra and more to do with the concept of "nadis." The third eye is supposed to be the spot where the nadis converge, so it made some sense to me to focus on my breath where it converged at that spot.

Concentration was very strong doing this, very calming, very peaceful. I think I may stick with this technique for a while.

Another technique I've been doing a lot lately has been something like centering prayer (ala Alan Chapman's method on page 52 of this ebook: Three Steps to Heaven )

Not much to say beyond that right now.
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Andrew B, modified 11 Years ago at 2/15/13 11:03 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 2/15/13 11:03 PM

RE: Andrew's Pre-Path Practice Log

Posts: 59 Join Date: 2/22/12 Recent Posts
Practice left me feeling frustrated yesterday. I sat down and set my timer for a 35-minute sit before work. I made it about 30, which isn't bad, but I wouldn't consider any sit in which I can't even sit through to the time I set a good one.

I got those pesky body shakes, even though I was sitting seiza. If anyone has any idea why I'm getting those and what to do about it, I'd love to hear about it.

My concentration was a mess, thoughts and emotions all over the place. I know this sort of thing is to be expected from meditation, and ought to be utilized as a tool for insight, but damn, it sucks, and I'm just no good at noting, so it's difficult to turn the thoughts and emotions into something useful by noting them. I find noting generally makes me feel anxious and leaves me mentally exhausted.

I cut out of my sit early, went down and ate dinner, and left for work feeling pretty bad, even though the rest of the day had been pretty good.

And I didn't even get a Valentine.

On a brighter note, my boss tells me a local meditation teacher is looking for students, wanted to come by my job -- a coffeehouse -- for some kind of teaching event. My boss tells me he teaches intensive meditation. And I think: when the student is ready, the teacher appears.
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Andrew B, modified 11 Years ago at 2/18/13 4:33 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 2/18/13 4:33 PM

RE: Andrew's Pre-Path Practice Log

Posts: 59 Join Date: 2/22/12 Recent Posts
Did a 30-minute meditation yesterday during my break at work, centering prayer style, mainly just to destress. Work has been really draining me lately.
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Andrew B, modified 11 Years ago at 2/25/13 12:48 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 2/25/13 12:48 PM

RE: Andrew's Pre-Path Practice Log

Posts: 59 Join Date: 2/22/12 Recent Posts
My formal practice has been pretty slacking lately, but it's been on my mind a lot.

Last night, I tried something a little different. I ditched the timer and just sat for as long as I felt like sitting, just sort of basking in the stillness for the most part, with a little bit of inquiry later on.

I found this to reorient my approach to practice in an interesting way. It turned it into something fun again, instead of some grim obligation. I wasn't just sitting and waiting for the time to run out. I had as much time as I wanted to spend. I found myself feeling more playful with my meditation, more curious about all the different bodily sensations that arose.

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