I don't want to write a novel, so I'm trying to be brief, but if anything is too vague, let me know. So I don't know what to do?

I few years ago made it my personal goal to end my suffering, at all costs, that's it, dedicate every minute I could to figuring it out. I ended up working out my big issues, but now I find life to be boring. I'm bored with myself, nothing seems challenging anymore. I'm living life, doing dishes, cleaning, stacking wood, planting spring crops, etc., but there is this under current of boredom. I do understand that there is a bit of adjustment going from my old lifestyle(recovering from C-PSTD) to my calmer patterns, I do enjoy the passing states of peace/calmness but not sure what to do with boredom. I think I am stuck, and feel there is more to do, but things are more subtle now....So I guess there are a few questions there:-)

Have you tried looking at the boredom?

Nothing is inherently boring, the mind creates the boredom and you are not the boredom.

I can definitely relate to thinking of these problems as an undercurrent or substratum... those words seem to come about as a result of identifying with and justifying the presence of the boredom or depression or whatever. When I investigate those things on a deeper level it often seems that I am thinking of them as undercurrents because I don't want to get rid of them, I'd rather find a solution that sates their interest rather than one that eliminates their existence. Does any of this sound familiar?

In actuality this boredom is not an undercurrent, the undercurrent is peace and stillness and the boredom is just a form of desire. I think the thing you should do is observe it and recognize this. I think you are very identified with the narrative that the sense of boredom is presenting, i.e. that your life is boring. Recognizing this as just another narrative is vital.

Yes, hopefully I can say this without sounding too crazy...

When I meditate, I go deep inside, the outside world seems to cease, and my inner world blooms to full life, there it's as if I can see my thoughts, emotions, memories, everything I thought was me, but really isn't; what is left is nothing, zero, emptiness, but full at the same time. There I can directly work on my self, like pulling myself up from my bootstraps. So, it looks like me but is not "me," more like an article of clothing which dresses the body. It carries old beliefs or lessons from the past which may have been helpful in keeping safe, but currently are outdated or outmoded.

I'm just getting into uncharted territory, most of the PSTD or Trauma therapies are aimed at getting one to functionality, but I'm interested in pushing it to the furthest possibility(complete transformation). And I like to learn from those TBDT.


Very true. I know it conceptually, but keep on jumping in between two states, of identifying and observing. It also helps in identifying a good question to ask myself, why create boredom? What am I hanging on to? This helps alot, Thanks!

Lol, yes. It sounds like integration, I did try elimination when I was little, but that just caused repression and shadows.

Yes, I noticed throughout the day, that when there was no boredom, there would be an undercurrent of peace and stillness. I didn't recognize boredom as a form of desire, thanks! Now I'm like duh!


Thanks!

Thank you guys! I think I was tackling boredom wrong, as in a fix-it approach where as it was a hanging on issue.

I have been through something similar. Observe the feelings of boredom.