Okay, so I went on a 10 day retreat and had some wild experiences. For example: an explosion of energy flowing through my body, the sensation that I was dying, feet moving on their own, blood vibrating etc... The list goes on. Now, I'm guessing I must have crossed the A&P, not that I knew what that was, at the time.

Thing is, now when I meditate it's crazy intense. It's literally 0-60 in seconds. My breath stops. My body shakes. Energy pulses around chakra seeming spots (heart, throat power region etc...). It is crazy intense and hurts. Later on, I feel my crown and forehead pulsing.

I'm worried that, if I push through it, I could hurt myself. I asked the monks at the monastery, where I did the retreat, and they seem totally relaxed about it, and seem to think it's really good.

But I'm still weary. It's just so crazy. I start meditating and BLAM!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you guys think?

Don't worry, it's cool! The things that can happen in A&P territory don't last forever, and after enough A&P stuff, meditation can actually get bland, annoying, low energy, edgy, confused, etc... baseline experiences that happen in meditation tend to change quickly.

The A&P is really cool though. Does it feel like you can direct and energy anywhere in your body? Like you're hyper-sensitive to some kind of energetic feeling all throughout your body? I tend to concentrate on the 3rd eye area during the A&P, and it seems like the intensity is mostly originating there. A good energetic A&P is cathartic, in my opinion. Can you make a lot of joy happen? Maybe you'll even burst out laughing from how ridiculously good it feels when you're maxed out on joy (2nd jhana).

Thanks for your perspective, Mind.

I don't know if I feel hyper sensitive. I just feel like I'm being blasted with high voltage energy. There's no bliss. Mostly, I feel fear and eventually pain. It flies around the different "chakra" areas, seemingly appearing out of no where. Then it builds until it's assaulting my head.

I've never tried to control it. That seems sorta opposite to the act of meditating (as I've been shown it). What do you mean?

what technique or practice are you doing when this happens?

does sound very a&p

i think you like it somehow, else it probably wouldn't linger

liking it, or at least being fascinated by it, is normal

d

Thanks Dan. That's an interesting point.

And it makes sense. I'm definitely interested in it. I never thought about it that way, but there is at least a level of fascination or attachment. Conversely, I am really afraid, as well. Especially when my breathing stops. That's when I start to worry about brain damage. I don't seem to be sufficating, but I don't seem to be breathing.

It happens when I practice Vipassana (as I was taught it), which is basically observing whatever is my most prominent sensation. So once my most prominent sensation is this energetic phenomena, I start observing it. The more I observe, the closer I get to the moment, the more it builds.

Something similar, in terms of building energy occurs with Metta or mindfulness of breath. It is slightly less intense. At least it doesn't build up quite so radically.

I guess my real question is, "Is it dangerous?" "Can it cause brain damage?" "Is permanent harm possibe?" An ayurvedic doctor said I would go insane if I meditated for over 10 minutes, so that's added to my fear.

I know Mind said it is all good and the monks did as well, but I'm still feeling very cautious. It feels so real. And afterwords, if I do it more than just a few minutes, my crown is really active. One time, it started jmy crown just started pounding(outside meditation). I could barely focus. I backed off meditation, and that subsided. Although the super intense event also coincided with doing Yoga, which I also stopped. The Yoga front is another thing that confuses me. If I bring my awareness to my body, say when I'm lying down, my body just starts doing Yoga on its own.

If it won't damage me, I'm up for observing it. I'm just a little nervous about it. Have you all had a similar experience? And was it safe?

Thanks again for your perspective.