Dreams feel more real than reality

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Sweet Nothing, modified 10 Years ago at 6/6/13 12:58 AM
Created 10 Years ago at 6/6/13 12:57 AM

Dreams feel more real than reality

Posts: 164 Join Date: 4/21/13 Recent Posts
This may end up becoming another DN rant.

Over the months I've noticed that the activities that happen in the dream state feel more real than similar events happening in the waking state. I have no other way to describe it.

In waking state, I feel like there is nothing to look forward to. I find no solace in any kind of sensual pleasure. There is no motivation to do anything at all. I am tired of constantly trying to fit in with what society wants me to be. I also dont know what I want to be, because I feel nothing at all. I am just dragging along. 2 weeks ago I tried some alcohol and couldn't feel any difference, other than that it felt really vile.

I keep telling myself this will all pass soon enough and I'll be back to how I used to be, but as more time passes I keep losing hope. All the emotions I would experience before seem like very distant memories, and I'm reminded of them only when I dream.

I am also finding it hard to develop metta because I hardly feel anything other than indifference.
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This Good Self, modified 10 Years ago at 6/6/13 3:40 AM
Created 10 Years ago at 6/6/13 3:40 AM

RE: Dreams feel more real than reality

Posts: 946 Join Date: 3/9/10 Recent Posts
What does your hand look like if you hold it in front of you in the dream?
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Sweet Nothing, modified 10 Years ago at 6/6/13 8:56 AM
Created 10 Years ago at 6/6/13 8:53 AM

RE: Dreams feel more real than reality

Posts: 164 Join Date: 4/21/13 Recent Posts
I dont even remember seeing my hand, but I do see myself occasionally. I realize it was a dream only after it's over. Sometime's I have Buddhism/Meditation related dreams and usually I am aware of my mind babbling when not dreaming. Rarely I have lucid/semi lucid dreams.

I am stressing "Real" in an emotional context rather than Physical. Of course, Physically, the waking state is absolutely real. No doubt about it. Physically I can feel pain and all the basic stuff like cold/heat/etc. I know I will die for real if I do something stupid.
However I cannot feel more complex emotions which I encounter while dreaming, such as passion, excitement, lust, fear, infatuation, joy, enjoyment, motivation, appreciation, etc.

I wonder if other practitioners have been through a similar phase and could throw some insight on what comes next.
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Adam , modified 10 Years ago at 6/6/13 12:08 PM
Created 10 Years ago at 6/6/13 12:08 PM

RE: Dreams feel more real than reality

Posts: 613 Join Date: 3/20/12 Recent Posts
I have definitely gone through periods like what you are describing wherein everything just seems lame... really lame. As is really, truly always the case (it seems to me) if you can just bring presence to it, and turn attention only towards what is actually here and now rather than stories about what is here and now or there and then you will make it through to the other side. what does lameness feel like? what do the things that seem lame feel like or look like? stay with that non-verbal "like this" which is the answer to those questions.
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Daniel M Ingram, modified 10 Years ago at 6/6/13 12:49 PM
Created 10 Years ago at 6/6/13 12:49 PM

RE: Dreams feel more real than reality

Posts: 3268 Join Date: 4/20/09 Recent Posts
I agree with that: can you settle into the lameness, accept the lameness, and all the rest of the stories about the lameness, in this space, at this time, in this body. It can feel really creepy to do that. Gentle labeling might make it slightly funnier: feel free to playfully make fun of it a bit.

There are good things out beyond that, but you do have to accept something of that. Reclining practice can help, eyes open perhaps...

Dreams being more real-feeling than this reality: very familiar with that one. Causality at that point is more important than reality.

D
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Sweet Nothing, modified 10 Years ago at 6/7/13 7:00 AM
Created 10 Years ago at 6/7/13 7:00 AM

RE: Dreams feel more real than reality

Posts: 164 Join Date: 4/21/13 Recent Posts
Thank you for your responses.

I am relieved to know that I'm not being over analytical or sounding too insane.

My mentor gave me the same advice of accepting things the way they are, and that was when I hit re-observation really hard for the first time.

I am trying to see the lameness as it but there is a subconscious part that is still rebelling, not willing to accept the lameness of it all. Sometimes I feel compelled to break free of this by getting very drunk or stoned, but before it's too late I realize it's just the ego trying to get back some hold.

I am able to notice smaller sub reactions like ill will, envy, etc. and counter them with Mudita. I'm glad to learn there are others who can relate to what's going on.

I'll follow your suggestions do my best to just be with what is.
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Daniel M Ingram, modified 10 Years ago at 6/8/13 5:10 PM
Created 10 Years ago at 6/8/13 5:09 PM

RE: Dreams feel more real than reality

Posts: 3268 Join Date: 4/20/09 Recent Posts
Ah! Good to notice the rebellion: that is also part of the process: gently investigate, accept and perhaps note the rebellion. Rebellion is made of sensations that occur now. They are key objects for insight. It is totally normal to rebel against lameness: notice that naturalness.
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Bailey , modified 10 Years ago at 6/8/13 12:21 PM
Created 10 Years ago at 6/8/13 12:20 PM

RE: Dreams feel more real than reality

Posts: 267 Join Date: 7/14/11 Recent Posts
You're depressed, anti-depressants and get a cute g/f
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Sweet Nothing, modified 10 Years ago at 6/8/13 1:17 PM
Created 10 Years ago at 6/8/13 1:17 PM

RE: Dreams feel more real than reality

Posts: 164 Join Date: 4/21/13 Recent Posts
Blue .:
You're depressed, anti-depressants and get a cute g/f


Maybe. Anti depressants will probably make it worse in the long run. Funny thing, I used to be a hopeless romantic before. Now I no longer feel the need for a "partner" andI dont feel anything other than the usual lust (which feels more like an outline of what it was). At this point a relationship seems more like a liability than anything else, which will only slow me down on the path.
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Fitter Stoke, modified 10 Years ago at 6/8/13 2:52 PM
Created 10 Years ago at 6/8/13 2:52 PM

RE: Dreams feel more real than reality

Posts: 487 Join Date: 1/23/12 Recent Posts
Sweet Nothing:
Blue .:
You're depressed, anti-depressants and get a cute g/f


Maybe. Anti depressants will probably make it worse in the long run. Funny thing, I used to be a hopeless romantic before. Now I no longer feel the need for a "partner" andI dont feel anything other than the usual lust (which feels more like an outline of what it was). At this point a relationship seems more like a liability than anything else, which will only slow me down on the path.


Use this disinterest to your advantage. There is nothing to distract you from an ardent, wholehearted investigation of sensory phenomenon now.
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Bailey , modified 10 Years ago at 6/8/13 6:17 PM
Created 10 Years ago at 6/8/13 6:15 PM

RE: Dreams feel more real than reality

Posts: 267 Join Date: 7/14/11 Recent Posts
Anti depressants will probably make it worse in the long run.


That's not true. Medication gets a strongly bad rep, meditation and observance are very helpful in curing anything but certain areas simply need the regular everyday responses that people use. I should add that it will not hinder your meditation either.. in fact I'd bet for a couple good reasons that it will help it.
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Sweet Nothing, modified 10 Years ago at 6/9/13 1:24 AM
Created 10 Years ago at 6/9/13 1:17 AM

RE: Dreams feel more real than reality

Posts: 164 Join Date: 4/21/13 Recent Posts
Blue .:
Anti depressants will probably make it worse in the long run.


Medication gets a strongly bad rep, meditation and observance are very helpful in curing anything but certain areas simply need the regular everyday responses that people use. I should add that it will not hinder your meditation either.. in fact I'd bet for a couple good reasons that it will help it.


Around 1-2 months ago, I found and joined this board because I was undergoing severe Re Observation symptoms along with very intense allergy reaction like developments all over my body, which made my life the most miserable it had ever been. Even then, my guide/mentor who is one of senior most assistant teachers of Goenkaji, asked me to take no meds other than homeopathy.

The precise explanation he gave, was that all problems have their roots in sankharas. By taking meds we are solving the problem on a more superficial level, pushing the sankharas that have arisen back in. When a thorn is being removed it hurts but feels better afterwards. Anyways, when I went for a 3 day retreat in that period, my physical suffering was completely relieved. Now, I have nothing against meds. I feel they must be used only when absolutely necessary, such as high-moderate fever or serious diseases.

I have also never experienced anything similar to what has been my baseline since A&P (almost 1 year now). It's definitely not clinical depression. Sure, I have been sad at times but never so detached from my emotions/feelings. I know people who have dealt with depression, but I seem a lot more stable in comparison even if emotionally barren.

My mentor always told me that what I'm going through is part of the insight process, but not much more than that. Thus, I created this thread out of curiosity and Daniel seems to be suggesting the same.
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Daniel M Ingram, modified 10 Years ago at 6/9/13 2:59 AM
Created 10 Years ago at 6/9/13 2:59 AM

RE: Dreams feel more real than reality

Posts: 3268 Join Date: 4/20/09 Recent Posts
To be fair, there is very little data of any good quality regarding the effects of various anti-depressants or any other psych meds on various insight stages.

The jury is simply out on this beyond anecdotal reports.

Thus, I can't tell you one way or the other, but I can give some advice on practice.
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Sweet Nothing, modified 10 Years ago at 6/9/13 3:26 AM
Created 10 Years ago at 6/9/13 3:24 AM

RE: Dreams feel more real than reality

Posts: 164 Join Date: 4/21/13 Recent Posts
True, that.

There are literally so many defining factors that shape our experiences that the outcome of meds/anti-depressants will vary greatly and it will be difficult to conduct an efficient study of such outcomes.

I will integrate your advice regarding practice and update this thread as goes by. Presently I dont see a pressing need to seek the medical route. Sometimes Metta is like a mild anti depressant, perhaps I should put more effort into it.
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Sweet Nothing, modified 10 Years ago at 6/17/13 5:45 AM
Created 10 Years ago at 6/17/13 5:45 AM

RE: Dreams feel more real than reality

Posts: 164 Join Date: 4/21/13 Recent Posts
So yeah, over the last 2-3 days I'm feeling a lot better.

I wasn't even meditating during this time as I was dealing with very bad series of stomach aches which progressively kept getting stronger. However I was still trying to accept and be with whatever is. Towards the end I decided to get a sonography done thinking it's surely some appendix related issue. When this thing ceased by itself I was able to appreciate things around me for the first time.

I was feeling a lot like my old self and also different in subtle ways. I was instantly grateful for this but wasn't sure if it will last the next day. I think I've entered low equanimity territory and meditation feels great. I'm able to appreciate art, sometimes more/sometimes less. During the usual DN art was meaningless.
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