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Torn in two.
energy body torn in two top of my head mediation
8/13/13 1:32 AM
Hi All,

I'm new here and have skimmed through the other post. If what I'm about to say has been posted else where I apologize for missing it. I am starting meditation anew. I have not meditated regularly in many years but have decided to start practicing again. I started simply by relaxing, noticing my breathing, then moved on to clearing my mind. This first mediation didn't last long only maybe 15 minutes. But I did have some disturbing sensations I was hoping this group could help me with.

This is difficult to explain, so please bear with me. After I had managed a few brief moments of mind silence I noticed first a pressure at the top of my head (I have read here this is energy build up and somethings to try). The next thing I felt I can only describe as being off center. I was sitting up straight but I felt as though I was leaning to the right. Almost as soon as I noticed this feeling I became aware of another opposite sensation. The left side of my body felt as though it was pulling apart, most notably in my left arm. When I say "pulling apart" I don't mean like a physical pulling. It was more like my energy body was pulling away from my physical. It felt as though I had two left arms and one was pulling away from the other.

I stopped mediating before because of unusual things happening and I got scared. I don't want to start off on the wrong foot again. So any insight will be much appreciated.


RE: Torn in two.
8/13/13 3:00 AM as a reply to Amanda Norris.
Hi Amanda,


Prior to this event, had you taken any kind of anti depressant medications or other drugs ?

Normally such an experience is very rare especially to beginners or people rebooting after a long time. I would say go easy and gradually build up the sessions. Follow a good book guide such as "Mindfulness, Bliss and Beyond" or "Wings to Awakening" if you're interested in the awakening way that the Buddha showed.

If fear arises, examine the emotion. Try to pinpoint its location. Try to feel where in the body the fear is arising in and keep watching as it arises and passes away. Dont try to contemplate what happens and also dont try to stop it, primarily keep attention on the natural breath. If things get hard then breath a little harder.

RE: Torn in two.
8/13/13 4:02 AM as a reply to Amanda Norris.
Hi, welcome here!

When I say "pulling apart" I don't mean like a physical pulling. It was more like my energy body was pulling away from my physical. It felt as though I had two left arms and one was pulling away from the other.

I have stuff like that from time to time, they tend to arise as a pretty natural consequence of physical and mental relaxation; I consider them to be strange experiences, and I kind of enjoy them while they last; in very rare occasions they become a bit too intense, and in those cases I just stop meditating. However, the vast majority of the time they are completely harmless, and the only reason why they are a problem is that you are scared. Now, bottom line is, unusual things are very much usual in this business and, unless they are clearly painful, there is no reason to be worried about them; obviously at first you are, because that's the natural reaction, but with time and repetition you become more confident and familiar, up to the point where you don't even consider them to be unusual, 'cause they became the new normal.

Fact is, I don't think there is a real answer like "This is this and it means that and you have to do this thing about it". You just stay with them, seeing how when you experience these things nothing horrible happens, but not overdoing it, like a kid that before jumping into the sea needs to feel the water a few times, feeling it and then coming back, and then feeling it a little more, until he understands that water is not dangerous, and then he can bathe safely.

Hope it helped somehow... bye!

PS: since these things are quite associated with relaxation, if you want them to subside (wich is not my first racomandation), you may try to adjust you posture to create a little bit more energy; so, if you lay down, you might try sitting; if you sit on a chair, you may try to do it without touching the chair with your back; if you sit crossed-legs, you can make use of the abdominal muscles and the back muscles to make your position a bit more straight... these kind of adjustments should be more than enought to make them subside.

Edited x2

RE: Torn in two.
8/13/13 12:20 PM as a reply to M N.
Thank you both for your insight.

Sweet Nothing: I have not taken any kind of medication and have not been on antidepressants for many years. I am, however, in the middle of trying (unsuccessfully so far) to quit smoking. Don't think the cigarettes are the cause of it since I smoked last time I meditated. Also, I can't say I'm surprised I'm experiencing something rare for beginners, but that is another story. As to the fear, I didn't feel any fear at the time or later it was just very distracting. It was a strange and curious thing to feel.

Mario Nistri: Thank you for sharing, it is reassuring to know I am not the only one experiencing this. I think, now that I know I'm not the only one, I will take your advise and if it happens again will just go with it. I did find your bit about changing positions interesting, though. You see the last time I meditated I was pregnant so I would meditate lying down, this time I was sitting up. I now wounder if that change in position has played apart in this new sensation?

Once again thank you both for your insight.

RE: Torn in two.
8/14/13 6:20 PM as a reply to Amanda Norris.
Body distortions are a normal part of meditation. I have had several experiences with them.
I started a thread about them not too long ago Body distortions
I have also felt like I was expanding and contracting at the same time. Weird stuff. It has been pretty harmless so far and pretty rare. Toss it into the bin of weird stuff that happens occasionally unless it happens a lot. This bin will get pretty full after a while of rare weird stuff that over time doesn't matter too much.
Good luck,