Interested in hearing opinions on sex as Metta. I am married and faithful to my husband. Sex is very important to my husband (not so important to me, but fun nonetheless.) I try to think of sex with my husband as a form of Metta practice. I do try to stay mindful while we are intimate, cultivate feelings of loving kindness and internally repeat Metta phrases directed towards my husband. Anyone else do something similar?

Hi,



Yep. I agree: Sex can become more metta/dana and also just a shared nice activity together when it's no longer motivated by any kind of craving-gratification -- even when it's very fulfilling, mindfully intimate and fun nonetheless, as you say. I'm sure all the other traditions, secular and religious alike, have ways of expressing this same tenderness and care in a relationship once some of the huge passion/craving-gratification abates.

Also, welcome to the DhO community.

I don't really have experience in that regard, but I do a few sexual practice that can go something like this:1)sexual feelings are developed in the belly, I make them strong, then I move those feelings into the heart area, where they stop being sexually-related and they get transformed into a powerful metta-explosion.

Sex is only pleasurable when there is complete letting go, physically and emotionally.

In French, the word for orgasm is 'petit mort' (little death), because it's a little taste of ego death. Death is about letting go. Meditation is also about letting go.

Letting go is not possible whilst you are repeating phrases to yourself. It's almost the opposite of letting go.

Maybe it's a physical or hormonal thing that has caused the disinterest. If that's the case I suppose the best thing is to see a doctor. If not, then you could try getting in touch with your inner vixen. Relax the body, have a drink or two, dress up, get down, talk dirty, tell him what you want and really let go. Far greater intimacy will be achieved.