That may sound like a contradiction in terms, but (pre-full enlightenment, anyway) it can actually get pretty bad at times – though I don't think I could call this a warning. It's like I'm the only adult in every room. Like walking through a city and seeing the ego in everyone so clearly: all playing the lead role in their own little stories, all struggling to reach their own arbitrary ideals of happiness that will never quite be enough. I'm really beginning to see the wheel of samsara grind away: why the Buddha described himself as “awakened”: because everyone else is trapped in twisted dream-worlds of their own making. It's a deep-seated exasperation: with the failure of everyone to see what I see, realize the benefits I have realized, and stop seeking happiness over and against others, blinding themselves to the suffering of others. It can get pretty distressing, tbh.

But there again, like all the more immediate troubles I've had, I'm confident that with time and deeper understanding this will drop away as well. So I dunno, just a heads up. It's nice to have a community where such isolating feelings can be expressed.

It seems what you are seeing is your own conception, which is never who somebody is. Any ideas that we have about who someone is, or their own ideas about who they are, our empty, and we are left with the ordinary, empty, luminous nature of things. What you are describing is called "the stink of enlightenment" in zen, and comes not from seeing clearly, but an egoic reaction. The mind/ego will try to lay claim to any seeing that happens along the path and use it to further its own agenda. Look closer. Or stop looking at all. Same thing.

Thanks for the heads up.

Good point. I must say I'm still quite weak in daily-life mindfulness; I usually just rely on whatever natural effects of my baseline understanding there are, as opposed to really trying to see the true nature of these feelings as they arise. I would also like to find time for more metta practice. And I'm aware of the danger of creating some sort of enlightened identity.

My time would be better spent meditating than self-pitying; I would be doing that if it wasn't so important for me to avoid DN'ing over the next 7 months. I now appear to have reached the kind of stable plateau I was looking for and am very eager not to leave it, like I've done several times before, during some supposedly harmless samatha practice.

Metta is a good idea. I'm not sure how much you can postpone DN, but metta was helpful for me. Paying attention to the body is also useful with a lot of the emotional content.

Hey B B, you probably may have heard of it but I found Adyashanti's book "the end of your world" to be the most reassuring and useful book after some realisations.

It lists all the common traps post awakening - isolation, superiority, meaninglessness, etc, how to keep practicing, and even though the book doesn't seem super profound, I keep re-reading bits of it again and again and it keeps giving.

I can identify with what you are feeling btw.
stay keepin' it real

Haha - yeah - I hear you! I'm hoping this is just a natural stage in the path that is overcome and replaced with something a bit more mettaish....

What is wrong with them all anyway!? Why do they look so miserable? Can't they see the birds and sky etc? Can't they see that when they do get the promotion it'll only be because somebody else didn't?

How on earth am I gonna adjust to being happy for no fucking reason?! What are my friends and co-workers gonna think?!

Awesome, awesome first-world problems that I never for a minute thought I'd actually have to ever worry about.....

I just bought and read that book at your suggestion and will definitely be returning to it again to take notes. It was just what I needed, so thank you .

Yeah I have heard a lot of people say this, and I remember it happening to me. It means your purity is becoming strong enough to be aware of the volitional roots of the words/actions that people do, and you can see they are mostly negative. It can be very eye openening. If the feeling is disgust, keep in mind that this implies that the same issue also still lives in you. (happens to me quite a lot)

Some frames to help you with it. Both are arguable, but both are solid and important:

1) Innumerable people have become enlightened before you and innumerable people will become enlightened after you

2) Nothing is wrong with them, they are there in that spot precisely for a set of reasons, it is all just an unfolding of events. In the same circumstances you would be the same.

And finally.... you will get completely used to it. Progress can be alienating but the further I go, mundanely and supramundanely the more part of the human experience I become. Which is very refreshing. I get to play the game

Yep I remember this happening me, and in hindsight, in simple terms , it was me believing that everyone was trying to seek happiness and "fix" themselves the way I was, whereas in reality, a lot of people just dont give a crap, and are incredibly good at dealing with their emotions and not constantly seeking happiness.

It was character building to see that was in fact me who was getting it completely "wrong", not everyone else.

Now that said, I still witness people suffering needlessly (not that often) because of the very things Ive learned to work with, but it doesnt make me feel alienated, I feel sort of indifferent to it lately, but part of that is because ive become humbler and have accepted that I may be more than capable of doing that at any time too.

However, I do experience another alienation, something similar but not quite as extreme. Its the one where Im fairly certain Im experiencing reality in a wonderful and unique way at times compare to everyone around me. Im fairly certain that most people I know dont know the levels of peace that I can experience at times, and dont know the experience of a lack of self and connectivity with everything. Its there that I feel slightly alienated because it would be nice to be able to enjoy those experiences with others.