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questions about progress of insight terminology, esp. with DN

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My insight cycles have been really mixed up with many cycles overlapping each other, so I had no ways to define which events correlates to which stages anymore. Some calibrants on these terms are greatly appreciated.

1) different names on progress of insight: these stages have the same numbers, but are they the same?
knowledge of danger = misery?
knowledge of disenchantment = disgust?

When I first read disgust, I was thinking of some unease experience but not more equanimous, which seems to be predominant in knowledge of disenchantment (as I understand it).

2) What exact stages of insights correspond to these experiences?

-Having uneasy feelings like there is something wrong or going to be wrong in the future. It always has this favor of wanting to quit the job to it. In the middle of experiences, I don't know why that arises, but then at some points, underlying thoughts that give rise to those feelings appear. I accept it and become quite equanimous about it.

-Meeting some old friends you haven't met in a long time. Getting to go to some places you enjoy in the past and could be one of the places you miss being at.

-Experience lots of losses in life. Someone in the family gets sick or have to move somewhere else.

-Having such a rushing feeling. Rushing everywhere, but I don't really know why I'm rushing.

-Let go of the rush. Having some thoughts like "where am I rushing to?" Then, suddenly the whole thing is okay again.

-After engaging in some searches for some time (e.g., search for teachers), finally stop doing this whole thing. Not doing it anymore, but still criticizing it.

-Something you have been lying to yourselves all along (e.g., having a quick warning thought before but had it passed by without doing anything about it). Suddenly, many things in life concentrate on that particular thing you are lying to yourselves. You can't lie to yourselves anymore, but you did not like that, had hard time accepting it, and maybe cried for a couple of days after that, before being okay again.

-Somehow being really grateful about things people have done to you, but at the same time, regretting about your past behavior (e.g., not trying hard enough), and that suddenly becomes the motivation to do or be better.

RE: questions about progress of insight terminology, esp. with DN
Answer
11/21/13 4:18 AM as a reply to Julie V.
2) Outside of retreat settings and meditation it feels like the DN stages are a big non-linear mess, and so looking for extractness seems like a hopeless endeavour.

And these experiences just look like the experiences of everyday life to me.

RE: questions about progress of insight terminology, esp. with DN
Answer
11/21/13 8:49 PM as a reply to sawfoot _.
sawfoot _:
2) Outside of retreat settings and meditation it feels like the DN stages are a big non-linear mess, and so looking for extractness seems like a hopeless endeavour.


I think it's a big non-linear mess, because the cycles of multiple things can occur concurrently. However, at the same time, from my very limited experiences, I seemed to be cycling through some similar events every 4 months or so (at least for one of the cycles I am monitoring, and I could be my bias as well). It always starts from fear (which usually is not very hard to identify and very obvious during the sit). Then, something that would be characterized as loss or something I miss would happen (unexpectedly having to go to the place I miss or someone I'm depending on might be leaving/ getting sick). That usually follows with events after events that concentrate within a week just to say the same harsh I-don't-want-to-hear messages. That can take a couple of days to be able to accept and get sort of functioning again. But then, sometimes that lead the arising of existential questions like "Why are we here?" During this phase, I usually find gratitude practice very helpful. Then, I would feel quite equanimous again but then at this point, I would generally be very busy to care about all those questions. All I care about then would be to wrap up everything I'm currently doing before, for example, vacation comes or going on a retreat, etc.

This cycle, of course, overlaps with the running previous cycle, and fear can alternate with the feeling of anger (probably indicating re-observation stage), followed by over-confidence of early equanimity. And I still can't figure out the stages that gratefulness lie (I mean this can just occur in the mind).


sawfoot _:
And these experiences just look like the experiences of everyday life to me.


Yes, they can seem like the experiences of everyday life, but when things usually concentrate within certain period of time or occur in the same order, that could feel more then everyday life. Afterall, I think insight practice occurs through everyday life experience anyway. At least, that's true for me anyway (from a couple of my data points). Since I think my existential fear involves a lot in career. My progress in career (or ending of something there) seems to coincide with how far I progress with my insight practice. I don't think that would be true for everyone, especially if you come to meditation later on in your life, but that just seems to be the way it is for me. Well ... and as for how fast I can work on progress in career, I seem to have no control over. That just relies too much on other people/ many factors, so I guess I will just let it be ...

RE: questions about progress of insight terminology, esp. with DN
Answer
11/22/13 12:08 AM as a reply to Julie V.
Julie V:
1) different names on progress of insight: these stages have the same numbers, but are they the same?
knowledge of danger = misery?
knowledge of disenchantment = disgust?


The Wiki button at the top of the screen will take you to eBooks and Resources. Compare the stages of insite in the following books - The Vimuttimagga, MCTB and The Progress of Insight, by Mahasi Sayadaw. This might clear up the similarities and differences.
Good Luck,
~D