Just recently I recalled two experiences I had years ago that I now look at with new interest. It occurred to me there might be more to them than I had considered.

Of course they might be nothing more than brain farts or something and I'm now looking at them through spiritually colored glasses. Who knows? I find it interesting in any case and I'd love some input.

The first happened when I was sixteen. I don't remember what I was doing or any details other than it was during the day and I was awake and suddenly there was a (feeling?) of a big blackness and I was frightened of it, I couldn't describe it at the time other than to say there was a big blackness and there were no words/ I didn't know words.

When that experience happened I felt it wasn't new to me, it had happened before. It wasn't like blackness like I'm going to faint, not like that. It almost seemed there was substance to the blackness, I remember that.

I realize that is a lousy description, but I can only say what I said then since I cant bring the experiance back as sometimes we can do with memories. All I can remember saying is " there was a big blackness and I didn't have words" and I had negative feelings about it, mostly fear I think.

Something similar happened last year the very first time I meditated. There was a blackness and I was frightened and felt if I went any further I would die. It wasn't the same though. There was something about the blackness from when I was 16 that I would recognize if I can across it again, no doubt about it.

I remember years later thinking back about this and speculating that maybe this was a memory of being in the womb and maybe the big blackness was the inside of the womb and maybe I didn't have words because I hadn't learned them yet. Who knows?

The second incident happened about five years ago. I was walking down the stairs and half way down I forgot how to walk down stairs. I just stood there on the stairs knowing I had just been moving forward but with no idea how to continue. I just stood there for a few seconds like an infant.

I don't think it would have mattered what I was doing at the time, I wouldnt have known how to do it. I was in a perfectly clear aware state, but with no thoughts and after a few seconds everything was normal again and I proceeded down the stairs.
I was flabbergasted by that experience. I thought it was just the weirdest thing.
So if anyone has had any similar experiences I'd love to hear of it. Once again I'm not claiming these are anything of import, I'm just curious about them.

With Love, Mary.