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Aura, self and personal boundaries

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Aura, self and personal boundaries
Answer
8/11/14 5:28 AM
I'm trying to explore the topic of "personal boundaries" from a metaphysical perspective, so help me!

When the self becomes less solid, does this equate with an aura that has softened its boundaries?  (Personal boundaries seem to be very important in health pyschology.  One of the main features of psychosis is the loss of boundaries).

Any personal insights, or links to others work welcome please. 

The 3 CCCs.

RE: Aura, self and personal boundaries
Answer
8/11/14 1:17 PM as a reply to This Good Self.
My opinion, I am not an expert on auras and what they look like physicall, but IMO the path leads towards knowing yourself better and being less helplessly influenced by circumstances and people around you.   Even if some other guy is unstable, it need not make you unstable.  Some other guy's problems, insecurities, opinions, mood swings, wants and demands need not be yours or hurt you.  You are confident and secure in yourself and you handle things that come at you in a more balanced way.  To me that is a description of having very good 'boundaries.'  I have seen a lot of people who are sensitive to stimuli from others and situations and consider this a sign of spirituality, but IMO, sensitivity without the ability to handle it well is not something you want to brag about or cling to.  Otherwise you'll just go on being a victim of your circumstances.  In the end, your response to outside stimuli is your choice.  The more you realize that and exercise your choice more consciously, the better your 'boundaries' are going to be and you will no longer act as if you are a helpless victim of circumstances around you.  Because in the end it is your choice.               

RE: Aura, self and personal boundaries
Answer
8/11/14 7:52 PM as a reply to Eva Nie.
Yeh sensitivity isn't good; I don't like it at all.  I don't cling to it.  I want to know how to close it off.  I can feel people's emotions and the whole thing is too open.  When I walk into a room, everyone reacts to it.  Sometimes people actually swing their heads around, all in unison.   I used to think this was cool in the past, but I actually think it's a big problem nowadays and desperately want to change it.

I have read about boundaries in psychology, but there's not enough there.  All I have found is that my boundaries are probably incomplete or poorly formed and need strengthening, but I don't know how.

Need more input please.  Desperate for help.

RE: Aura, self and personal boundaries
Answer
8/11/14 8:16 PM as a reply to This Good Self.
I think what I learned is that you can have preferences without holding to them.  So when you feel less stress and "selfing" you can still push for your preferences and boundaries without it hurting.  Practice something competitive like a game and start letting go of preferences while at the same time putting effort to win.  When you lose, let go of the preference to win.  When you win look at it's impermanence.

Then try and develop your acting skills and use your mirror neurons.  When people are complaining or are hurt they want to see that you feel something similar.  If you look aloof they will think your cold and uncaring.  Even if you're not a meditator you need to act a little in groups.

Hopefully that helps

Richard

RE: Aura, self and personal boundaries
Answer
8/12/14 1:06 AM as a reply to This Good Self.
C C C:
Yeh sensitivity isn't good; I don't like it at all.  I don't cling to it.  I want to know how to close it off.  I can feel people's emotions and the whole thing is too open.  When I walk into a room, everyone reacts to it.  Sometimes people actually swing their heads around, all in unison.   I used to think this was cool in the past, but I actually think it's a big problem nowadays and desperately want to change it.

I have read about boundaries in psychology, but there's not enough there.  All I have found is that my boundaries are probably incomplete or poorly formed and need strengthening, but I don't know how.

Need more input please.  Desperate for help.

What I said was sensitivity AND not being able to deal with it well is not ideal.  However, the only way I know to learn to deal better is to push through to the other side.  I don't know any way to turn it off.  The only ways that worked for me was me learning my own strength and finding my own weaknesses and working on them.  If someone is angry around me, why must that upset me?  Once I learned the many answers to that question well, then now it doesn't upset me much.  Those instabilities used to harmonize with my own instabilities.  The trick was for me to become more stable, not to hide from everyone else and their influences.  So over time, I've stabilized a lot of my previous weak spots.  So any 'attack' by outside forces just does not hurt as much anymore.  My mood is more stable so instability around me has less effect.  I still sense it the same and I'd say over time, I sense outside instability and emotion even more, in part I think because it bothers me less so I don't bother to try to block consciousness over it as much, it's just that I no longer feel it can so easily destabilize me as well. 

A big start was for me to stop thinking like a victim, accept that deep inside I had more strength and would NOT decide to be a victim, and then I started looking for that strength and any thoughts that were counterproductive to that process.  Of course, that kind of process is always ongoing and does not happen in 5 seconds, but the results have been much better than back in the past when I walked around thinking of myself as victim.  I realized to think like a victim is to BE a victim.  So instead I decided to think like a person that is learning and making progress and slowly getting stronger and stronger.  Because how you think makes up your identity, so if you want to change, then you need to change your thoughts.  You can't just keep doing the same thing as ever and then expect different results anyway.  And of course, complaining doesn't work.  And good luck controlling others, that's like trying to herd cats.  The only thing left then is to work on  yourself.  IMO, you'll always be sensitive, but what you don't always have to be is upset by it. 

RE: Aura, self and personal boundaries
Answer
8/13/14 5:25 PM as a reply to This Good Self.
Hi 3C,

I see aura's around living objects my seeing of them appears to be dependent on/affected by the lighting conditions, the background against which I see them and the emotional state of the object. How this ties into personnel boundaries is hard to say, there appears to be a layered structure to the field around the living object. The near field is almost looks like a mirage around the object as it shimmmers. Just outside this is another layer that will flair up or recede and change colour depending on the emotional state. I see this same near field affect around trees and animals so I equate this more on the emotional and state of health of the object then a personal boundry as one field around an object blends with the next and with the next object. Auras reflect the changing energy state of a body, the frequency and intensity change, no doubt there would be some correlation with insight on some level and a worthwhile area to investigate
I believe everyone has the ability to see aruas with a little bit of investigation into the changing conditions, its just most people fail to notice them

RE: Aura, self and personal boundaries
Answer
8/13/14 6:58 PM as a reply to This Good Self.
C C C:
Any personal insights, or links to others work welcome please. 

Here is link to a book recommended by someone I trust....been meaning to read it, so I can't tell if it is any good...

Energetic Boundaries: How to Stay Protected and Connected in Work, Love, and Life
by Cyndi Dale

Good luck,
~D

RE: Aura, self and personal boundaries
Answer
8/13/14 8:02 PM as a reply to Dream Walker.
Thanks for all the input guys.

I'll look for that book thanks dream walker.