Charlotte's practice log - Discussion
Charlotte's practice log
Charlotte, modified 10 Years ago at 9/28/14 2:34 PM
Created 10 Years ago at 9/28/14 2:22 PM
Charlotte's practice log
Posts: 7 Join Date: 9/23/14 Recent Posts
I have been lurking on these forums for a while now so I thought it was about time I started a practice log.
I have had a daily meditation practice for about a year now (anything between 10 minutes up to 3 hours, normally somewhere between), mainly a fairly chilled noting style (unless I am I the mood for fast noting). I also sometimes do metta practice (especially a quick one before work) and if I have a strong emotion come up or if a friend is suffering with something I will try and do tonglen.
I have mediated on and off (mainly off ) for years including doing one goenka retreat in India but most of it was dabbling.
I thought I had an a&p event back in August (really full on mindfulness with tingles all over and weird shaking ) which lasted a few days followed by being in a bit of a fug and getting lost in thought all the time for a couple of weeks.
This was followed by better concentration but some fear coming up, but as I had some things going on in my life that was making me nervy I am not sure if that was just life rather than anything DN related (i did try to just sit with the sensations in the body ,ie tightness in solar plexus and throat).
The last couple of weeks my sits have been very mundane and ordinary so I am starting to rethink if it really was an an A&p event as if this the DN it's too easy (or maybe people that have minor troubles don't talk about it?)
I have had a daily meditation practice for about a year now (anything between 10 minutes up to 3 hours, normally somewhere between), mainly a fairly chilled noting style (unless I am I the mood for fast noting). I also sometimes do metta practice (especially a quick one before work) and if I have a strong emotion come up or if a friend is suffering with something I will try and do tonglen.
I have mediated on and off (mainly off ) for years including doing one goenka retreat in India but most of it was dabbling.
I thought I had an a&p event back in August (really full on mindfulness with tingles all over and weird shaking ) which lasted a few days followed by being in a bit of a fug and getting lost in thought all the time for a couple of weeks.
This was followed by better concentration but some fear coming up, but as I had some things going on in my life that was making me nervy I am not sure if that was just life rather than anything DN related (i did try to just sit with the sensations in the body ,ie tightness in solar plexus and throat).
The last couple of weeks my sits have been very mundane and ordinary so I am starting to rethink if it really was an an A&p event as if this the DN it's too easy (or maybe people that have minor troubles don't talk about it?)
Richard Zen, modified 10 Years ago at 9/28/14 3:09 PM
Created 10 Years ago at 9/28/14 2:51 PM
RE: Charlotte's practice log
Posts: 1667 Join Date: 5/18/10 Recent PostsCharlotte:
I have been lurking on these forums for a while now so I thought it was about time I started a practice log.
I have had a daily meditation practice for about a year now (anything between 10 minutes up to 3 hours, normally somewhere between), mainly a fairly chilled noting style (unless I am I the mood for fast noting). I also sometimes do metta practice (especially a quick one before work) and if I have a strong emotion come up or if a friend is suffering with something I will try and do tonglen.
I have mediated on and off (mainly off ) for years including doing one goenka retreat in India but most of it was dabbling.
I thought I had an a&p event back in August (really full on mindfulness with tingles all over and weird shaking ) which lasted a few days followed by being in a bit of a fug and getting lost in thought all the time for a couple of weeks.
This was followed by better concentration but some fear coming up, but as I had some things going on in my life that was making me nervy I am not sure if that was just life rather than anything DN related (i did try to just sit with the sensations in the body ,ie tightness in solar plexus and throat).
The last couple of weeks my sits have been very mundane and ordinary so I am starting to rethink if it really was an an A&p event as if this the DN it's too easy (or maybe people that have minor troubles don't talk about it?)
I have had a daily meditation practice for about a year now (anything between 10 minutes up to 3 hours, normally somewhere between), mainly a fairly chilled noting style (unless I am I the mood for fast noting). I also sometimes do metta practice (especially a quick one before work) and if I have a strong emotion come up or if a friend is suffering with something I will try and do tonglen.
I have mediated on and off (mainly off ) for years including doing one goenka retreat in India but most of it was dabbling.
I thought I had an a&p event back in August (really full on mindfulness with tingles all over and weird shaking ) which lasted a few days followed by being in a bit of a fug and getting lost in thought all the time for a couple of weeks.
This was followed by better concentration but some fear coming up, but as I had some things going on in my life that was making me nervy I am not sure if that was just life rather than anything DN related (i did try to just sit with the sensations in the body ,ie tightness in solar plexus and throat).
The last couple of weeks my sits have been very mundane and ordinary so I am starting to rethink if it really was an an A&p event as if this the DN it's too easy (or maybe people that have minor troubles don't talk about it?)
I wouldn't script myself into the dark night. Thinking affects how you feel and expecting something negative might make you ruminate in a negative way.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumination_(psychology)
Rumination is the compulsively focused attention on the symptoms of one's distress, and on its possible causes and consequences, as opposed to its solutions. Rumination is similar to worry except rumination focuses on bad feelings and experiences from the past, whereas worry is concerned with potential bad events in the future. Both rumination and worry are associated with anxiety and other negative emotional states.
The dark night usually happens to people when the things you are addicted to (or have habits/preferences towards) are shown to be utterly empty of permanent satisfaction. The brain usually will go through some withdrawal symptoms as it gets disenchanted but these feelings of headaches/shivering/generally yucky feelings also include some feelings of freedom from habits/addictions. As a person gradually gets through enough bouts of withdrawal symptoms their habit becomes much more equanimity. For most people it takes months to get a narrow equanimity and further refinement from studying dependent arising into some years.
Just keep noting (including any strategizing or analyzing) and don't analyze the practice too much. Being with what is and looking at the 3 characteristics is very helpful. Use the 4 foundations of mindfulness to see if there's something missing in the noting practice that you're not seeing clearly. It's good to look at the relief benefits you feel and try to keep practicing in daily life to gain those benefits while doing work and achieving goals.
The purpose of this practice is to see what your deep values are and see if habits are interferring with your goals. Whatever your goals are, you need to pursue them to create meaning in life because meaning doesn't come externally. If you have no habits interferring with your goals then you will likely have habits that are quite healthy and aren't a problem. So if people feel they don't have a problem they shouldn't invent one. Just continue pursuing your deep values and goals while practicing and pay no mind to it.
Good luck with the practice!
Richard
Charlotte, modified 10 Years ago at 9/30/14 4:50 AM
Created 10 Years ago at 9/30/14 4:50 AM
RE: Charlotte's practice log
Posts: 7 Join Date: 9/23/14 Recent Posts
Thanks Richard, i was starting to think the same myself. I guess I was getting attached to a sense of progress provided by the maps, but I should drop all of that and just practice without analysis (easier said than done, especially when the analysis normally happens after the sit).
I suppose many of my addictions/habits I have dropped over the last year or two (or have been rudely taken away by a small child ie.lie ins). I am not saying I have no preferences as I definitely do, but I guess I am more chilled about things than I used to be (years of travelling did that I guess).
I suppose many of my addictions/habits I have dropped over the last year or two (or have been rudely taken away by a small child ie.lie ins). I am not saying I have no preferences as I definitely do, but I guess I am more chilled about things than I used to be (years of travelling did that I guess).
Richard Zen, modified 10 Years ago at 9/30/14 8:59 AM
Created 10 Years ago at 9/30/14 8:59 AM
RE: Charlotte's practice log
Posts: 1667 Join Date: 5/18/10 Recent PostsCharlotte:
Thanks Richard, i was starting to think the same myself. I guess I was getting attached to a sense of progress provided by the maps, but I should drop all of that and just practice without analysis (easier said than done, especially when the analysis normally happens after the sit).
I suppose many of my addictions/habits I have dropped over the last year or two (or have been rudely taken away by a small child ie.lie ins). I am not saying I have no preferences as I definitely do, but I guess I am more chilled about things than I used to be (years of travelling did that I guess).
I suppose many of my addictions/habits I have dropped over the last year or two (or have been rudely taken away by a small child ie.lie ins). I am not saying I have no preferences as I definitely do, but I guess I am more chilled about things than I used to be (years of travelling did that I guess).
These are very good insights. I think that's why people like vacations because it throws a bomb in habits. The other thing is forced changes in life where a new responsibility takes over can change habits in any normal person.