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Hello
Answer
11/1/14 5:25 AM
I’m new to Buddhism and to this site so please apologize if my question is too obvious and/or already been answered somewhere else.
I have been meditating for a couple of year, and seriously for the last couple of months. (15-50 minutes a day, whatever I feel like). My meditation practice consists of stating with a bodyscan and then concentrating on my breath.
I have been following this thread with a lot of interesthttp://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/view_message/5367231#_19_message_5201846

And I have been doing the excises a couple of times. The only excersise I seem to be getting insights from is the Christopher Hiatt, funny thing I actually have had his books for many years but the psychopath's bible throw me off reading his other stuff. Too out there.  The main thing” i got from the jack willis book Is when I have a mixed feeling of lack of motivation, stress, laziness(I just want to relax and watch tv) and do the exercise I get a lot better and suddenly can find the motivation and energy to do stuff.
I think I have lot of repressed “emotion stuff” because I have a very hard time feeling my emotions. I also have a couple of diagnoses asperger and ocd but I don’t think that is the whole story about my emotional numbness. I have lot of shame and beliefs about being and outsider, not fitting in and so on.

I’m a pretty big fan of emotional release but it’s kind of hard to release when you can’t feel anything to release from. With that said I find it very easy to cry and laugh but the more “advanced” emotions and especially in social settings the only emotions is anxiety or numbness/lack of feelings and that makes it very hard to navigate my social life. I also tense up when I’m in social settings especially when I am at a bar.
Any special meditation and other technics for getting in contact with my body & emotions are very welcomed :-)

So I got this idea to make a kind of “home retreat” or whatever you could call it. Where I for one month(this month) concentrate on meditation more and take a break from stuff that keeps me from feeling my feelings. I have been thinking about going on a real retreat but to be honest I’m not ready for that just yet. I’m also afraid of a lot of things.
Taking a break fromincludes:
• Nofap/no porn/nowomen
• Only 15 minutes facebook per day
• Less noise and stress
• No alkohols/less sugor
• No going out to party
• More!
Other practices
• Daily Reichain exercises + 1-2 longer sessions every week (or undoing yourself with energized meditation)
• Workout (3-4 times a week)
• Meditate 2x15 minutes a day (minimum)
• Other stuff? exercises to get in contact with my body/self, more time spent in nature
• Reading Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha (just started)

My primary goal is to get better at concentrating and become more aware of my body and emotions.
That was my introduction, looking forward to getting to know you people :-)

RE: Hello
Answer
11/1/14 6:43 AM as a reply to Master Zen Guru.
howdy, MZG and welcome.  i'm not really sure what you're asking but ..sure, do a semi-retreat.  it can't hurt and it might be fun and it might even give you more impetus to meditate more and attain more states and insights.  your fears seem to me to be exactly the things you should be confronting though.  missing a little porn etc. is not a big deal but your reaction to it is IMO what you should be looking at.  it is the turning away from the swarm of distractions and towards the more subtle inner experiences that we learn about the mechanics of what makes us tick.  a retreat is a pretty radical way to focus in on those things. not everyone is ready to jump into a retreat setting though. so one step at a time.

good luck

tom

RE: Hello
Answer
11/1/14 6:58 AM as a reply to Master Zen Guru.
Welcome, Zen Master. Shinzen Young has a montly virtual retreat which you can do on your own and at your own pace. See https://mail.aol.com/38815-816/aol-6/en-us/suite.aspx. He does have a specialized vocabulary which you should learn beforehand. You can pick one of his segments or all of them.

Sorry but I have to run and can't say more now.

RE: Hello
Answer
11/1/14 10:18 AM as a reply to Master Zen Guru.
Hello and welcome! emoticon

A technique I've had a lot of success with is negative visualization.  Basically, you imagine scenes where you need to encounter problems (or even scenes from the past where you've handled things badly) and monitor your emotional reactions.  When you notice your habitual reaction come up, like a little flare of anxiety of guilt or shame, you stop the suppression mechanism and let it happen.  You can even think to yourself, "I don't need this reaction anymore.  I can accept this feeling because I don't need to be afraid of it."  Then try again with the same thing until the reaction doesn't arise and you can allow yourself to think about things that would normally bother you without the associated reaction.

An example might be, imagine yourself going into a social situation and making a really bad joke that no one laughs at.  You might feel like you're actually there and it's actually happening.  As it happens, allow yourself to look and feel foolish.  You might even say to yourself, "I am such a fool, but that's okay!  I can allow myself to act foolish sometimes.  I can allow people to judge me - even see me as disgusting or stupid!"  I've found that training myself to accept what I fear the most is very freeing.  It does work to cure these problems too.  I've had some OCD habits for a long time - usually they involve avoiding certain surfaces that I feel are dirty.  So I spend some time imagining myself getting very dirty and ruining all my clothes, and then I intentionally got my hands sticky and didn't wash them for a while.  I also used to be very afraid of spiders, so I imagined them crawling on me and watched some youtube videos of people handling spiders.  Now I actually kind of like them.  I just leave them alone when I see them in my house.

The point to realize is that you can actually change the feelings associated with these things.  It isn't just learning to tolerate what you fear, but rather removing the fear itself through confrontation and desensitization.  This can be a good way to start a meditation session, too, since it's more active, so you won't feel bored, and making peace with problems puts the mind in a very accepting state, which is good for meditation.

RE: Hello
Answer
11/1/14 12:09 PM as a reply to Master Zen Guru.
Hi, welcome MZG.

I'm also a fan of body-based stuff. If you meditate enough to hit the A&P, and then become Dark Night unstable and body-based/kundalini unstable you're in for a rough ride. Best advice I've found from Hyatt and Willis: make haste slowly. Reichian exercises tend to be pleasureable at first when superficial stress is being relieved. Later, if you persevere, your more fundamental 'character armor' will begin to dissolve and that is often a painful, disintegrative process. A similar statement can be made about hardcore meditation.
 
That said, I have a couple suggestions that you may find helpful (resources available here). Cultivate relaxation first of all. Use the physical techniques to help yourself relax manually (preferably w/ a helper), then consciously feel through your body releasing tensions, and then add on visualization (see the Regardie book in that thread; don't discount for its simplicity). Feeling and breathing come after relaxation. Proper breathing is described in the Willis book, but forcing yourself to breathe that way from the beginning isn't productive. Instead, relax, release tensions via awareness, passively but precisely observe the feelings in the body, and try to allow the breath to deepen naturally. Kriyas (spontaneous shaking or jerking) will develop naturally if you allow it; just observe in a passive, precise, ordinary way. Do this a few times a week, and then add on regular grounding leg/ankle/hip exercises from the Lowen book (Willis doesn't cover grounding). Finally, add on eye, forehead, face stuff (Willis/Hyatt) and exercises (Willis/Hyatt/Lowen) for whatever else is persistently tense or whatever seems like fun.

I've been at it several months now, so those are the best tips I've gathered. If you heed the disclaimer and make haste slowly, you'll begin to notice gradual changes in your feelings, posture, beliefs, behavior, etc. These change don't necessarily require conscious choice or deliberation, which never fails to impress me. I also wouldn't recommend neglecting the cognitive aspect of 'psychotherapy', nor the technical aspects of meditation. Good luck and have fun emoticon

RE: follow up
Answer
11/6/14 9:49 AM as a reply to Dada Kind.
Thanks for the warm welcome and the tips 

I have been doing this 1 or 2 times a week for a month or so
20 Breathing exercises with ah sound +5 min TONIC EYES OPEN
+ 5 min EYES IN DIRECTIONS +10 min sense & feel report.  Or method 1

I startet reading Reichian Therapy The Technique, for Home Use” after I saw the thread about reichian therapy here. So im aware that I should take it slow. Im also reading Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha so I don’t think I can handle more books right now .  Also I have not learned all the the technical lingo you people use yet! I just tried to get in touch with my vibration..

About the nofap thing its more that im curius about a break, and how it will affect me. I never saw it as a big problem but saw a forum post else ware that it could have a big impact of feeling ones emotions.
Right now i use emotional release(Sedona method/mc2 method style) when i feel some tension. Then I stay with the tension/energy for as long as I can handle or until the energy shift. With no judgment.

Status
it seems that some days I am in a better mood and laugh more easily, but I still get much resistance when I sit down to work on my book writing. I don’t get why its so hard for me sit down to write when I have down it for more then 4 years but still, feel resistance . Usely I plough through but still its hard..